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What makes LOVE unconditional? (Page 3)

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GayuArnav

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GayuArnav

Joined: 26 October 2011

Posts: 10362

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by moomin4455

Aww G Hug

I completely love this comment!!

Agree love should be unconditional, but rarely is. Prometeus said it right: if you expect anything in return your love isn't unconditional and rarely do we love without expecting our love to be reciprocated, without expecting respect, and all the positive things we shower on the ones we love.

Loving unconditionally also means overlooking all flaws...can you carry on loving your partner if you find out they're an axe murderer? Will your love remain if your partner is constantly cheating on you?

The closest thing we have to unconditional love is the love between parent and child or love for our pets, as G says LOL...

Is it only in literature that we find people loving, pining over others who don't love them back, spurn them, prove 'unworthy' of their love? I'm thinking of Gatsby and the fickle Daisy...LOL

Aww Bim Hug

Im not as wise as you guys are! LOL
But sometimes even Parents love for child is not unconditional. They do expect you to take care of you when they grow old etc etc. Im not saying its wrong but still its an expectation right? 

And for any relationship communication is a must! 
We can't just sit back and wait for the other person to understand you without even communicating! It might be like that for few couples but not all.
So you should let the other person know what you are going through and tell him/her that their actions are hurting you and upsetting you. Only then they will realize and will not repeat it! 

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moomin4455boreddamselOnepoundChic

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8282

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by GayuArnav

For me there is Unconditional love! And that love is the love one has for their pets! 

Oh you innocent little angel you. But yeah, I am not going to say anything more and put you off it. You have to get out there and at least give it a chance, at least for 10 years, before you become a cynic like me LOL

And Love could be unconditional. But rarely.
If one can accept you for who you are, overlooking your flaws, stands by you in times of crisis, Not listening to what others say about you and who wants to grow old with you and be with your forever is THE ONE! 

Hmm.. i have taught you well! LOL Well-said! 
I still believe there are guys like that. There has to be right .. or does everyone settle in the end for someone less? Ouch

And there are expectations in love. I wont say that if we expect something then its not love. We do expect certain things from our parents from our friends from our partners thats because we have a right on them. We love them. Just like how possessiveness(to some extent) is not wrong in a relationship, similarly expecting small things is not a big deal.

Yikes, no. Never ever ever be possessive, even to any extent. It is just plain wrong. That person is an individual first. See I believe in getting at least what I give.. so if you are possessive, then don't complain if your guy is possessive. And you can never be happy if you have live by someone else's idea of you! So live and let live. It's good to have expectations, of course you need expectations.. else how do you know what you want? But the best thing is to not settle for someone who doesn't meet all your expectations..! Hmm, am I making any sense here? Confused

And the person whom you love should not try to dominate you and must  treat you equal. Should respect your views and even if he wants us to change something in us he should not order you but suggest you with reasons so that you can understand it.  

Again, no changing.. People never change and their partners should understand that. If you expect your partner to change, then you are not with the right person. Every person is flawed.. and that's what makes them unique. Some flaws can annoy you, but not too much... If it gets on your nerve every time, then its time to rethink whether or not you should be in that relationship! 

And during fights at least one should give in. Not all the times but whenever we realize its our mistake. And if there is Ego in one's relationship then that relationship is not gonna last long.
Understanding and Communication is a must. 

Agreed. 

I dont know how related my comment was for this thread but this is my POV! 
It was. Thanks, sweetheart. I hope I was not being too big-sisterly and ordering you around as always eh LOL Just know I love you, very dearly Hug



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GayuArnav

moomin4455

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moomin4455

Joined: 08 March 2012

Posts: 4211

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by GayuArnav

Originally posted by moomin4455

Aww G Hug

I completely love this comment!!

Agree love should be unconditional, but rarely is. Prometeus said it right: if you expect anything in return your love isn't unconditional and rarely do we love without expecting our love to be reciprocated, without expecting respect, and all the positive things we shower on the ones we love.

Loving unconditionally also means overlooking all flaws...can you carry on loving your partner if you find out they're an axe murderer? Will your love remain if your partner is constantly cheating on you?

The closest thing we have to unconditional love is the love between parent and child or love for our pets, as G says LOL...

Is it only in literature that we find people loving, pining over others who don't love them back, spurn them, prove 'unworthy' of their love? I'm thinking of Gatsby and the fickle Daisy...LOL

Aww Bim Hug

Im not as wise as you guys are! LOL
But sometimes even Parents love for child is not unconditional. They do expect you to take care of you when they grow old etc etc. Im not saying its wrong but still its an expectation right? 

And for any relationship communication is a must! 
We can't just sit back and wait for the other person to understand you without even communicating! It might be like that for few couples but not all.
So you should let the other person know what you are going through and tell him/her that their actions are hurting you and upsetting you. Only then they will realize and will not repeat it! 

@Bold totally agree with this Gayu - that's why I said it's the closest we can get to unconditional love, but yeah there are expectations. Look at those parents who disown their children from marrying the wrong person, being gay, not conforming to their ideals and loving their kids and expecting them to look after them. Still I think a good parent is going to tolerate more flaws in their child than most people, there's more understanding there and a closer bond.

Communication is so under-rated! If you love me you'll understand me!! Umm...no I love you but I'm not psychic. I wish people would just talk - it would save a lot of hassle!! 

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boreddamselGayuArnav

epiphany.

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epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19795

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel

Originally posted by epiphany.

Whether he puts gel in his hair or not, I will still love him. Whether he shaves or not, I will still love him. I will love him even if he loses his virginity to somebody else and I will love him even when he does not offer to pay my bills for me. 

Is that unconditional enough?  I think so, and quite imaginative on my part too. Approve

That is unconditional love for sure! Smile

But won't it annoy you if he wants you to put gel in your hair, shave, have an issue if you lose your virginity to someone, or expect you to pay the bills? Ermm 

Again, is it too much to ask for unconditional love if you are willing to give it??? Ouch

I kid. Tongue I am capable of loving a good enough fellow with a beard and unkempt hair. And I would feel devoid of all my self esteem if I do not pay my bills for myself. But I'm afraid this is not unconditional enough. I would not mind the untidy hair given a tidy heart. So, clearly we do specify conditions. We can love absolutely anyone, that is for sure but never without conditions. We'd love them only if they possess what we seek. 

And to answer your question, it is not much to ask for it if you are willing to give it. But will doesn't suffice. You give it in practice, that might get it for you in practice. Might, being the keyword.




Edited by epiphany. - 16 March 2013 at 9:15am

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moomin4455boreddamselOnepoundChic

GayuArnav

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GayuArnav

Joined: 26 October 2011

Posts: 10362

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:17am | IP Logged
Aww Arti Hug

I know you are always there to guide me! 
You know I dont get possessive or jealous that easily. But generally people get possessive in relationship or Jealous. Its okay to some extent.
Its cute as long as they don't become a psychopath LOL
It makes you realize that we do mean to them and there is a guy who loves us dearly and we are special!

And about the Pet thing, I seriously believe in it Arti. 
Now or even after 10 years! ROFL

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moomin4455boreddamsel

boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8282

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by moomin4455


Aww G Hug 

Hug from me too .. for G and my Mooms!!!! 

I completely love this comment!!

Agree love should be unconditional, but rarely is. Prometeus said it right: if you expect anything in return your love isn't unconditional and rarely do we love without expecting our love to be reciprocated, without expecting respect, and all the positive things we shower on the ones we love.

Loving unconditionally also means overlooking all flaws...can you carry on loving your partner if you find out they're an axe murderer? Will your love remain if your partner is constantly cheating on you?

The closest thing we have to unconditional love is the love between parent and child or love for our pets, as G says LOL...

And this is why I want to get a pet.. 'coz I mean who else can love you even when you ignore them and you shout at them. I remember when I was dog-sitting my friend's dog.. the way he loved me.. cherished me.. and adored me, I doubt I can ever get the same feeling from a man. But then again a man who just drools on you all the time is definitely no fun ROFL  But I'm scared of getting a pet 'coz I feel I will hurt it by not giving it the love it needs! Ouch

Is it only in literature that we find people loving, pining over others who don't love them back, spurn them, prove 'unworthy' of their love? I'm thinking of Gatsby and the fickle Daisy...LOL

Mooms.. admit it.. you are talking about me aren't you?? You are, you are.. LOL
I think it's normal to expect others to love you. Humans are social and we love to be appreciated and nurtured. 

But I think life is too short to waste time pining over ones who don't love you back.. They are not worth it. It's important to discover who you are, to appreciate who you are .. in order to understand what went wrong. I doubt a breakup is ever ever bad.. even if the other person dumped you. If you think about it, you will realize that you were just wrong for each other.. and you were saved from a lot of mental torture. Ouch

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moomin4455

boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8282

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by GayuArnav


Aww Bim Hug

Again Hug for both you and Mooms. 
Im not as wise as you guys are! LOL

Darling it comes with experience. And I am pretty sure even Mooms and I have a lot to learn. What's interesting about life if you have nothing left to learn! 

But sometimes even Parents love for child is not unconditional. They do expect you to take care of you when they grow old etc etc. Im not saying its wrong but still its an expectation right? 

Interesting thought. I completely agree. But at the end of the day, even if they expect you to do something, they never ever ever want you to be unhappy while doing what they want you to do! something I learned when I blindly agreed to what they wanted me to do! They are still living with that regret, though I have moved past it! 

So you should let the other person know what you are going through and tell him/her that their actions are hurting you and upsetting you. Only then they will realize and will not repeat it! 

Well.. there is an issue there. 
You tell them you have an issue. For them to realize it is an issue, they need to listen and acknowledge that what they did was wrong! For them not to repeat it, it means they have accepted what they did was wrong! 
Oh boy, relationships are tough! Few are lucky that things just work for them. But I guess again, what's the fun if things come easy to you. If it comes easy to you and if you don't work hard enough to earn it, you won't realize its worth ..! 

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GayuArnav

boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8282

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by epiphany.

I kid. Tongue I am capable of loving a good enough fellow with a beard and unkempt hair. And I would feel devoid of all my self esteem if I do not pay my bills for myself. But I'm afraid this is not unconditional enough. I would not mind the untidy hair given a tidy heart. So, clearly we do specify conditions. We can love absolutely anyone, that is for sure but never without conditions. We'd love them only if they possess what we seek. 

And to answer your question, it is not much to ask for it if you are willing to give it. But will doesn't suffice. You give it in practice, that might get it for you in practice. Might, being the keyword.



@Bold.. Clap We love someone 'coz they meet our expectations.. but then if they do meet our expectations, don't we love them against all odds.. i mean through mood swings, through bad hair days.. through stress.. isn't that what unconditional love is? 

Amen.. to the last sentence! 

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epiphany.

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