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What makes LOVE unconditional? (Page 2)

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Prometeus


If you expect anything in return, then its a conditional love...If love has conditions then growth cant be total..if anyone wanna be emperor in love, then don't be a beggar n love... Just give it and see what happens... Smile

Wow.. I just simply loved what you said.. Clap

Yeah, you give it and realize you aint getting anything back!
Call me a cynic! Ermm 


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boreddamsel

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -IHATEYOU-

Unconditional Love exists only in few romantic novels and movies.
In reality there is nothing called unconditional love.
It is all about sex,money,fame and beauty.


Are you admitting that when you fall in love, you will fall for sex, money, fame or beauty? 
You shouldn't expect to get unconditional love if you can't give it! 

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by OnepoundChic

ermmm i dunno exactly how to explain bt to me love just clicks right ...u meet a person n start liking him/her with the passage of time, wanna be with him then u seem to be accepting his every quality nd deficiency(at least for that time) ..its just my pov' ..that person seems perfect  to u no matter what others or  well wishers say but in fact no 1 is perfect nd later u do realize that love isn't quite unconditional as u thought before ..

Yup.. true. But I still like to believe there is something called unconditional love. It has to be there, else how and why do people live together for the rest of their lives. Are you telling me they don't love each other? I refuse to believe that! 

its human nature to get attracted to a beautiful thing or a beautiful property of some thing or some 1 ,some times its looks some times its nature some times its success some times its background n family etc etc ..no 1 would be having these things all together so definitely 1 or half of these attracts ,, nd no love is unconditional i think ,its only, until u dun keep ur foot in to practical life ,fairy nd unconditional love exits in fairy age or fairy thoughts only.. conditions n sacrifices do come in a normal relationship nd life..

Sneaky aren't you.. you are dragging in "Fairy" to distract me! LOL
Agreed about attraction.. something about the other person should attract you. That is the first step to love. I mean take food for example .. something about the food makes you want to eat it, but you don't fall in love with it until you taste it.. Wink So yeah, attraction is a must, but that isn't love.. love happens after you realize what the person is like. So there must be a way to figure out whether that person is the one that you can live with for the rest of your life.. 'coz people rarely change, contrary to popular belief. Yes, their priorities might change, but the person.. their character never changes!!!! 

 'But i have heard people saying when old ur partner gets boring nd u cant live with him etc  but in my POV a person with whom u spend ur time ,ur joys dismal fights instead of a 'no more interested in'  that person should become ur habit which u can never leave unconsciously, if consciously ..its my one fairy unconditional(some where) love thought Embarrassed

I disagree. Someone should never become a habit.. then you take each other for granted...and then life becomes monotonous! Ouch

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by epiphany.

Whether he puts gel in his hair or not, I will still love him. Whether he shaves or not, I will still love him. I will love him even if he loses his virginity to somebody else and I will love him even when he does not offer to pay my bills for me. 

Is that unconditional enough?  I think so, and quite imaginative on my part too. Approve

That is unconditional love for sure! Smile

But won't it annoy you if he wants you to put gel in your hair, shave, have an issue if you lose your virginity to someone, or expect you to pay the bills? Ermm 

Again, is it too much to ask for unconditional love if you are willing to give it??? Ouch

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GayuArnav

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:47am | IP Logged
For me there is Unconditional love! And that love is the love one has for their pets! 

And Love could be unconditional. But rarely.
If one can accept you for who you are, overlooking your flaws, stands by you in times of crisis, Not listening to what others say about you and who wants to grow old with you and be with your forever is THE ONE! 

And there are expectations in love. I wont say that if we expect something then its not love. We do expect certain things from our parents from our friends from our partners thats because we have a right on them. We love them. Just like how possessiveness(to some extent) is not wrong in a relationship, similarly expecting small things is not a big deal.

And the person whom you love should not try to dominate you and must  treat you equal. Should respect your views and even if he wants us to change something in us he should not order you but suggest you with reasons so that you can understand it. 

And during fights at least one should give in. Not all the times but whenever we realize its our mistake. And if there is Ego in one's relationship then that relationship is not gonna last long.
Understanding and Communication is a must. 

I dont know how related my comment was for this thread but this is my POV! 


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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 8:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by --arti--

I don't think love is unconditional. And I don't think there is "the one" person for us. We meet people, and we have messy and unruly lives, we learn lessons, relationships end, other ones may begin. I think that narrative of true love and all is really overrated. 

Aah yes.. I understand where you are coming from.. it hasn't yet been 15 days for me.. I have two more days to go! Wink

But sweetheart, do we have to give up hope? Maybe it is out there,  just we haven't found it! Yes, it's been 10 years since I have been meeting the wrong people Angry.. and I think I should give up.. but somehow I don't want to. What if you give up, and the moment you look away, the dude just passes you. Or are you saying that there is no concept of spending the rest of your life with that one person? Damn! Broken Heart Aah, well I am so used to dumping people now, I guess I can live with that.. in a way this is more fun. LOL 

Pasting my responses from another thread on love ["Is love a good thing?"] last month. Sorry for being lazy:

That's alright.. sloth is a "sin" I completely understand and approve of LOL

Originally posted by --arti--

Ultimately, love is about companionship. Most of us tend towards long-term domestic relationships, someone with whom we share our time (not all our time), a home, family, etc. That sharing and growing together feels good. Co-habiting feels good for some people. But I also know couples who have been together for a long time who prefer maintaining separate residences.

Love is a good thing if you accept/practice the following principles:

- it doesn't mean you have ownership over all of the other person's affections (including sexual affection), energies, and time. You get to enjoy quite a bit of it when you're in a committed relationship with someone, and that's great, but you have to be able to have your own life and not expect that person to be your whole life (which is pathetic anyway, but that's just me).

- it is possible to love many people, and to love more than one person romantically (whether or not that goes anywhere or one acts on it is another thing altogether)

- it is not a license to treat someone like crap (being controlling, manipulative, getting jealous, dictating what they should do/wear, whom they should associate with/avoid, etc.)

- it is not "unconditional." Of course it's conditional -- on the other person not being a jerk, on the other person being able to grow/challenge themselves, on them being receptive to constructive criticism, opportunities for emotional growth, and so much more.

At least that's my point of view. I wouldn't be able to accept that someone "loves" me if the above wasn't true, and same goes for what I feel for someone too.

Overall, a pragmatic and progressive approach towards human relationships is important. We are all fed so much sentimental stuff on a daily basis (because card companies need to sell cards, and magazines need to sell sex advice, and cosmetic companies need to sell insecurities and so on). I think deep down we are all beautifully complex and are able to live with respect for one another, as long as we are able to challenge many of the norms and assumptions that come with romantic relationships.


Originally posted by --arti--

But all said and done, a lot of people these days live fulfilling lives without having relationships (it doesn't mean they don't have any romantic love or any sexual interactions). I think in many ways the primacy of coupledom is challenged more today than before. I also think that many queer couples or even straight couples with feminist values are able to challenge some of the patriarchal assumptions around how a romantic relationship should be practiced.


Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap  Lovely! I simply loved everything you said.. and some of my favorite parts are in bold! 

But I wonder about what you said here : "it is possible to love many people, and to love more than one person romantically (whether or not that goes anywhere or one acts on it is another thing altogether)" .. are you saying its normal to feel attracted to someone else while you are with another.. I agree about having crushes or thinking someone's cute. But if you are really attracted to someone, doesn't that mean you are not happy in the relationship you are in .. that something is lacking, which is why you found it with someone else? So maybe you were in the wrong relationship after all and it's time to call it quits! 


Edited by boreddamsel - 16 March 2013 at 8:54am

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moomin4455

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by GayuArnav

For me there is Unconditional love! And that love is the love one has for their pets! 

And Love could be unconditional. But rarely.
If one can accept you for who you are, overlooking your flaws, stands by you in times of crisis, Not listening to what others say about you and who wants to grow old with you and be with your forever is THE ONE! 

And there are expectations in love. I wont say that if we expect something then its not love. We do expect certain things from our parents from our friends from our partners thats because we have a right on them. We love them. Just like how possessiveness(to some extent) is not wrong in a relationship, similarly expecting small things is not a big deal.

And the person whom you love should not try to dominate you and must  treat you equal. Should respect your views and even if he wants us to change something in us he should not order you but suggest you with reasons so that you can understand it. 

And during fights at least one should give in. Not all the times but whenever we realize its our mistake. And if there is Ego in one's relationship then that relationship is not gonna last long.
Understanding and Communication is a must. 

I dont know how related my comment was for this thread but this is my POV! 



Aww G Hug

I completely love this comment!!

Agree love should be unconditional, but rarely is. Prometeus said it right: if you expect anything in return your love isn't unconditional and rarely do we love without expecting our love to be reciprocated, without expecting respect, and all the positive things we shower on the ones we love.

Loving unconditionally also means overlooking all flaws...can you carry on loving your partner if you find out they're an axe murderer? Will your love remain if your partner is constantly cheating on you?

The closest thing we have to unconditional love is the love between parent and child or love for our pets, as G says LOL...

Is it only in literature that we find people loving, pining over others who don't love them back, spurn them, prove 'unworthy' of their love? I'm thinking of Gatsby and the fickle Daisy...LOL

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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