What makes LOVE unconditional? - Page 6

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farheen75 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Agreed.. but it takes time to trust someone.. do we have that much time, especially in an arranged marriage.. isn't that a leap of faith? But yes, love comes with trust and respect.. This takes me back to the discussions we used to have about the show that may not be named!

Arti it takes not more than a year in an arrange marriage to judge your husband and similar is the case with your bf as well or I would rather say that in an arrange marriage u can judge a person more quickly bcz there r no hidden surprises there as the man and woman both don't pretend to be somebody they r not bcz subconsciously they think that the marriage is already done so what's the point of being at your best behaviour all the time and u can't act to be somebody u r not... Secondly I don't think a year is a long time to make a decision abt your whole life.
OnepoundChic thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I disagree. Someone should never become a habit.. then you take each other for granted...and then life becomes monotonous! 






u r taking it wrong A .. by making habit i meant not leaving the person alone in life if u have really loved him..m finding u confused here ... as u said u think unconditional love do exits nd what i wrote is a point of unconditional love only ..m not saying make habit n take for granted m saying if u really love a person n plan do spend ur life with that person then he should become a part of ur life not just some thing u want to be entertained from n when u get bored leave n move on,means u should be there to sacrifice(retaining ur self respect too) for him ,u should be there when he needs u( not blackmailing u)..bt if some trouble comes nd you are  all ready to be un malleable nd non understanding at ur full then again its not love ! staying with a person through thick n think is smthing we call unconditional love, n here i dun mean taking complete shit in the name of sacrificing for/or staying with a person through thick n through ..its in case when love is actually there!

Edited by OnepoundChic - 11 years ago
farheen75 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Yup.. true. But I still like to believe there is something called unconditional love. It has to be there, else how and why do people live together for the rest of their lives. Are you telling me they don't love each other? I refuse to believe that!

Arti why didn't u accept Khushi's love then? It was unconditional as she didn't hold any grudge against Arnav for the ill treatment he meted out to her... Sweety people who live all their together with each other do it bcz they both fulfill all the pre requisites which r required to live a happy and content life... If u r in a relationship don't u want your better half to be faithful to u otherwise u will leave him so u r putting a condition for him to fulfill in order to be in that relationship with u... Yaar love without conditions is a very dangerous scenario... But the conditions have to be genuine and realistic.
OnepoundChic thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: McNinja


Chal ve, I don't fight over anyone...I'm the one fought over ðŸ¤£

Don't fatter yourself. I just like being given credit for my work. 


praba is right u n ur always 'tight 'balloonz ðŸ¤£  ðŸ¤£ðŸ¥±
OnepoundChic thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: GayuArnav


Aww Bim ðŸ¤—

Im not as wise as you guys are! ðŸ˜†
But sometimes even Parents love for child is not unconditional. They do expect you to take care of you when they grow old etc etc. Im not saying its wrong but still its an expectation right? 

And for any relationship communication is a must! 
We can't just sit back and wait for the other person to understand you without even communicating! It might be like that for few couples but not all.
So you should let the other person know what you are going through and tell him/her that their actions are hurting you and upsetting you. Only then they will realize and will not repeat it! 



XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX for this gayu .. communication must be there .. expecting ur partner to read ur heart eyes hair etc is not some thing very great ðŸ˜† .. you should give chance n space to ur partner as u expect him to give u.. these are conditions but such love would grow up like unconditional one if not unconditional itself! 
moomin4455 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: farheen75

Yup.. true. But I still like to believe there is something called unconditional love. It has to be there, else how and why do people live together for the rest of their lives. Are you telling me they don't love each other? I refuse to believe that!

Arti why didn't u accept Khushi's love then? It was unconditional as she didn't hold any grudge against Arnav for the ill treatment he meted out to her... Sweety people who live all their together with each other do it bcz they both fulfill all the pre requisites which r required to live a happy and content life... If u r in a relationship don't u want your better half to be faithful to u otherwise u will leave him so u r putting a condition for him to fulfill in order to be in that relationship with u... Yaar love without conditions is a very dangerous scenario... But the conditions have to be genuine and realistic.


Farheen, my gut feeling is that people live together for the rest of their lives because they are compatible, comfortable and have shown each other that they will not break the conditions on which their love is based...
moomin4455 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum


i think they are similar in other ways too. There's future uncertainty. One can never be sure how things will turn out when one is "outside" or makes a switch. That's what stops people from taking the plunge every time a new opportunity presents itself. Also, the grass looks greener on the other side many a time but we stay put because we often like to stay with the known devil than the unknown. I know that relating all this in business terms sounds bizarre, but both situations involve people and their assessment of each other. In both situations, we are also trying to optimize/ maximize our well-being.😊 Profit/ wealth optimization in one case, physical/ mental on the other. 

another analogy is like picking stocks. We dont know how the stock will pan out, we just stay with it as long as it is the best performer. Later, people get emotionally invested or married to the investment, so they never look to get out even when they should😆


It's true: it's like you are determined to put up and make the best of the situation because you've put up with years of excessive snoring, not taking out the trash, being ignored when there's sports to watch and bad sex. It's a ball and chain, but dammit it's your ball and chain ðŸ˜†

Marriage is fun! 
--arti-- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

do we have to give up hope? Maybe it is out there,  just we haven't found it! Yes, it's been 10 years since I have been meeting the wrong people 😡.. and I think I should give up.. but somehow I don't want to. What if you give up, and the moment you look away, the dude just passes you. Or are you saying that there is no concept of spending the rest of your life with that one person?
...

But I wonder about what you said here : "it is possible to love many people, and to love more than one person romantically (whether or not that goes anywhere or one acts on it is another thing altogether)" .. are you saying its normal to feel attracted to someone else while you are with another.. I agree about having crushes or thinking someone's cute.
...
But if you are really attracted to someone, doesn't that mean you are not happy in the relationship you are in .. that something is lacking, which is why you found it with someone else? So maybe you were in the wrong relationship after all and it's time to call it quits! 



I mean to say that the concept of the "one true love" is far fetched. One can be hopeful, optimistic and romantic about the world. You can go on enjoying the present and living in the moment without necessarily always searching. Applies whether one is single or not.

I do think it's possible to have feelings for multiple people. It's true that we are conditioned to share that kind of relationship with just one person, but there are people who practice polyamoury in different forms. Some people have a primary long term relationship with someone but mutually agree to leave the door open for other sexual/romantic partners. It's amazing how liberating it feels to let go of jealousy/possessiveness and just be with someone because you want to spend time with them, which doesn't foreclose the possibilities you might explore with others.
McNinja thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: moomin4455


It's true: it's like you are determined to put up and make the best of the situation because you've put up with years of excessive snoring, not taking out the trash, being ignored when there's sports to watch and bad sex. It's a ball and chain, but dammit it's your ball and chain ðŸ˜†

Marriage is fun! 


😆😆

I love meeting cynical married people who openly admit marriage comes down to how well you deal with the bullshit. 

Unfortunately for the likes of me, who have a low bullshit threshold, there is no hope.. unless Mr.McNinja is ready to  succumb to my ball and chain...that of depreciating asset  with no promise of capital gains. Shit, I can't wait! ðŸ˜†
Edited by McNinja - 11 years ago
moomin4455 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: McNinja


😆😆

I love meeting cynical married people who openly admit marriage comes down to how well you deal with the bullshit. 

Unfortunately for the likes of me, who have a low bullshit threshold, there is no hope.. unless Mr.McNinja is ready to  succumb to my ball and chain...that of depreciating asset  with no promise of capital gains. Shit, I can't wait! ðŸ˜†


Bullshit is what constitutes marriage 😆. Although occasionally you'll stumble on something that make you realize how awesome your ball and chain is - keeps you going through times of extreme bullshit 😆

Depreciating asset with no capital gains and the possibility of a default at any moment. For good behaviour there can be a loan - high interest of course - once every fortnight. ðŸ˜†