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||DOTW|| Love Marriage Ya Arranged?

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Xarina

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Xarina

Joined: 06 November 2011

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Posted: 15 March 2013 at 2:38pm | IP Logged

Hiya Peeps 


It falls on me to start of DOTW so here goes.


We have seen in Saathiya two types of marriages.  Arranged and Otherwise.  The pros and cons of marriage is always debated as to which is best.  

Ahem and Gopi's marriage was arranged.  There were issues for them in the early days but as one persevered the other melted.


Jigar and Rashi.  Now what can I say about them.  Theirs was neither love or arranged so I have classed it at otherwise.  Coerced,  Jigar stepped into the fray to save Rashi from being declared a fallen woman.  He did this out of duty.  Not for love, or out of respect for his parents' wishes.  


So, in all this, my question is.  Given the choice which marriage do you prefer, have preferred and why?  Would you enter into a relationship happy with your choice or do you leave the whole thing to your elders and hope for the best?


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Dhabu89

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Posted: 15 March 2013 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
Intresting question. I have an arranged marriage and I have been in love before marriage. Needless to say I did not marry the one I loved because, well, he was a first grade ARSEDead 

Now I still do believe in love marriages because you have had the time to spend with that person and pretty much know all about them. With an arranged marriage you are basically going in deaf, dumb and mute...You would not know their family history or anything of their way of life. That is it for me.

BTW, What is DOTW...was I allowed to answer or is this a code word for something elseBig smile

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Xarina

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Xarina

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Posted: 15 March 2013 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
Heya Big smile.  Good to see you.  DOTW stands for Debate/Discussion of the Week.  We have had some interesting topics come up.

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Deepzpadukone

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Posted: 15 March 2013 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
For me even though i am not married and i have a few yrs befor anythimg of such happens to me. But since i have turn 21 every single person that is related to me is out there looking for a boy for me to get married to. Being brought up in this generation it is fair to say I woulf perfer a arranged marriage then a love one. I have seen many love marriages fail and and they end up ending the marriage after a few months. Love marriages can work out but I think you would have to REALLY know the person u are marrying this goes goes for an arranged marriage. Btw nice topic Xarina.

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Justlikethat1

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Posted: 15 March 2013 at 6:23pm | IP Logged
Ahh.. Now this is a discussion I am going to loveTongue

Love marriage or arranged? Personally I would go with an arranged marriage. Mainly because I guess I am romantic and was brought up very traditionallyEmbarrassed

An arranged marriage holds to me the challenge of getting to know the person, committing to a relationship that is life long and sticking to it.. The romantic in me tells me that people fall in love in an arranged marriage inspite of each others faults and not because they chose to choose someone without faultsSmile

Arranged marriage has worked in India for years. Basically because of the family structure.. Although it is changing now, arranged marriages were the way to go because when a person got married, they married into the family and not just to another person. This meant that one had the family always in the rear view mirror when going into a marriage.

But on the downside, there are marriages that are arranged only in name sake.. By calling it arranged, there are many a girl and boy who are coerced into something they are not ready for.

That is where the problem lies. But inspite of its faults, I still would go for an arranged marriage. Will post more on it later.. Too tired now after workConfused

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Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

Xarina

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:31am | IP Logged
Have a good rest Harini.  Big smile  Arranged marriages of today are slightly different to those from many years ago and I suppose the country you are in also differs in the word arranged.  Back then you did not even get a look at your husband, even a sly look and really had no choice.  Girls today can look and say yes or no. 

Both styles of marriage have their downsides.  I am a romantic as you can see in my writing.  But what happens if you enter into an arranged marriage and find that you are not compatible?  


Edited by Xarina - 16 March 2013 at 5:34am

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 4:23am | IP Logged
Xari, the risk of compatibility is there is both love as well as arranged marriages. I guess that is why marriages, irrespective of whether they are love or arranged marriage will fail if it destined to be Ouch

Yes. Compatibility is an issue. But in arranged marriages, I have this feeling that one tries a bit more if there is no compatibility.. Maybe because there is this outside chance that you may be wrong and have not understood the person yetSmile Plus in arranged marriages, there is this constant family support you get.

The thing is, today, I think it does not matter. Arranged and love marriages go through the same grind and I will surely not argue with which one is better..

As many examples as I can give for successful arranged marriages, I can give one or two morbid tales too that will make one scared to enter into a relationship.

It was in the 70's and 80's I think. The faze about grooms being international. There was a fad and there are chilling tales about how young, pretty woman were fooled to marry and were abandoned.. All this would not have happened if it had been a love marriage? Ermm  I don't know..

But I do know one thing. the definition of ''love Marriage' today is very different from what one would envision. Today, love pops up on sight and continues for 2 weeks, a proposal and then this hard headed attitude that your parents are against you. Is that love?Confused  What would one call a real love marriage? And is today's fast track love even called love? Does it not come under the category of 'attraction'?

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Posted: 16 March 2013 at 4:24am | IP Logged
No rest today XariOuch But the topic will refresh meBig smile

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