Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain


LOvE AT PLaTfoRM !!!!!! [SS] (Page 2)

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Joined: 19 June 2012

Posts: 1108

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 12:50am | IP Logged
awesome n different concept...
title is nice love at platform...
superbly written...
loved the way u described viren's situation...
continue soon ...

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Joined: 10 March 2013

Posts: 438

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:33am | IP Logged
Next day! 

Viren reached d metro platform at d same time.Subodh was also wid him,but his eyes were searching for her only.He walked through the entire platform but she was nowhere to be seen,today.One by one the metro's came;he let them go n remained standing."What d hell r u doing,man?WE're getting late."Subodh shouted,when yet another train arrived and viren missed it tooo...

"Did you notice the girl I was following yesterday?"Viren said in reply to Subodh.
"Yeah !! But who is she ?"
"Even i dont know who is she yaar,but I want to know..."he mumbled to himsel frather to subodh,banging his fist against his left hand.Eventually,he explained to subodh how he felt she was his girl;the girl for whom he had been waiting for ages.As he was talking to Subodh,suddenly he spotted her emerging from d elevator.His face lit up,his heart jerked into a see-saw,his words started to flatter and his eyes froze at that same terrific blend of innocence,elegance,the same blue-and-white striped saree and silent inviting lips which seemed to be loaded with unsaid words.
In d meantime,one more train entered d station.the'angel'got in and occupied the only empty seat available.They too jumped in the same coachand kept on looking at her till d train haulted the next station.They followed her up to the exit gate and went for their practice session,later.

Viren,a prominent batsman of d south delhi cricket club,was expecting to get selected for d next Ranji session.All his team-mates and his coach believed dat he had d talent to play for the indian cricket team one day.Though he was persuing his masters in sociology from Hindu college,cricket was his prime passion,his life's main motivation.The lower middle class to which he belonged supported his dreams completely.He too worked hard to realise his dream of playing for India.He worked at the Mc'donalds in his spare time after his college and cricket practice.

For d next few days Viren kept following his angel compulsively and grawking at her all the time while travelling by the metro from Kashmiri gate to Saket.He had never felt like this before and was unable to understand himself.Sometimes he felt like he was in love with her even before he knew she wxisted.
      Why did he feel compelled to wait for her on d platform everyday?
      Why couldn't he take his eyes off her?
     Why wasn't he able to concentrate on his game either? 
     WHY?WHY?WHY?Was dis love or was dis infatuation?
A number of questions bristled in his mind,which he had no answers to. 

Days passed.It was almost a month since viren had seen her for d first time.THat day,he had no practice but he was still traveling by d metro,onlu to catch a glimpse of her.Suddenly her phone started ringing,while she tried to pick it up ,it slipped from her hand and fell on d train's flour.Before anyone or she can react,Viren got down on his knee to grab the phone;he picked it up and gave it to her as if to warn everyone present there,
"don't dare touc it...it was only my privilige and duty to serve her." She noticed his gesture and smiled.
   "THank YOU!" she said.
   "Why are you thanking me,rather i should thank to you for your smile."he thought to himself.HE wanted to say "welcome"and opened his mouth,but no words came out;he tried again but the result was same.He smiled at her stupidly and continued standing there like an idiot! 
She smiled again.
"she must be smilig at my idiovy1how stupid i am!!"he was cursing himself when his train of thoughts screeched to a halt,with the interpretation of voice. 
  "Hi...i am jeevika,"she said,extending her hand towards him.
  "Oh! hello..i am...V..V...Viren."Finally he managed to speak. They shook hands.
  Though it was noisy inside d bogie,silence stretched out between dem.
"Can i ask u something?"she initiated their talk aftr a few mins.
 He nodded.
 "i have been noticing from d last few days that you have been watching me during our journeys.Why so?"
 He was caught red-handedand had no clue as to what he could say in such a situation."Umm...I...am not...watching...I...am..sorrryyy..."That was all he could mutter,dropping his shoulder and staring at d floor.He felt like a con.
"Hey...I was just asking that.Chill!"she smiled."By th way where is your bag?Don't you have a match today?"
  "why the hell is she asking question dat i can't answer?i admit dat i am a fool but why is she trying to prove it?huh" he thought."No..I mean i am going somewhere else.,"he answered and looked at her nervously ! 
 "So,what do you do apart from playing cricket?"she continued d convo.
 "I am doing a Masters in Sociology from hindu college and I also work at Mc'donalds part-time"he replied,a bit firmly this time.
 "THat's cool!You're independent !"she looked impressed."College,Cricket and part-time job...must be hectiv,no?"
 "YEah..." he smiled,"and you?"
"I work for an MNC,as a front-office executive,"she replied with the same elegance.

So this was their first official talk !! :)



The following 31 member(s) liked the above post:





Joined: 09 November 2012

Posts: 7540

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:51am | IP Logged
another superb part...finally they talked...u described viren's feelings really very well...hope he realises soon...jaldi update kar




Joined: 05 November 2012

Posts: 15525

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:57am | IP Logged
aww this is such a sweet and different story!!!
Really like this new concept and can't wait to read more about Virika's interactions Big smile

It's a very different concept and really fun to read, so great job! Clap




Joined: 19 June 2012

Posts: 1108

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 2:21am | IP Logged
this update was damn cute...
viren's desperation to see her was beautifully written...
their first convo was amazing...
continue soon...




Joined: 15 March 2013

Posts: 1259

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 3:15am | IP Logged
nice update ...Big smile
continue soon...
firstt convo mast thi...Clap




Joined: 29 September 2012

Posts: 1595

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 5:28am | IP Logged

So this was really a nice update, a quick one too.

Their official meet was like fun to read, it was difficult to express, but you did a successful job!
loved how you told about Jeevika catching him red handed!
Haha, this was much fun to read. Viren and Jeevika's official meet!

Continue soon!




Joined: 20 August 2012

Posts: 4794

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 7:54am | IP Logged
loved it how he describing jeevika  pm me continue soon

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