Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain


Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

LOvE AT PLaTfoRM !!!!!! [SS]

drishti112 Senior Member

Joined: 10 March 2013
Posts: 438

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 4:35am | IP Logged
HEY guyz !!! dis is my first story n i am just inspired by some people to write a story!!!!! i am new to dis website n i am goin to post a story i hav been writing ! i really hope dat u people like it :)  

chapter 1-page1
chapter 2-page 2
chapter 3-page 4
chapter 4-page 6
chapter5-page 9 
----------THE END--------

Edited by drishti112 - 20 March 2013 at 7:40am

The following 17 member(s) liked the above post:


drishti112 Senior Member

Joined: 10 March 2013
Posts: 438

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 5:11am | IP Logged
                  CHAPTER -1
viren was standing on the metro platform with his heavy cricket kit on his shoulder,waiting for the metro. he was again late for his training session.
     "coach is gonna screw me today"he thought.
  The angry face of his coach,Amrinder sir.came to his mind and made him more nervous.Also,his new shoes were biting his feet.He kept adjusting his shoes to get some relief,but in vain.He was cursing himselfnfor having been fooled by d deal and blown away ten days of his salary on those useless fancy shoes.He toyed with the idea of flinging them on d tracks f d metro,but then he calmed down,reminding himself of the high price he had paid for them. 
  Suddenly,his  wandering eyes stopped at a figure.He stood transfixed.a frission of excitement shot thru his entire body.She was there.He didn't know her name or who she was...All he knew was that he had seen her often on this metro platform.Neither f them had ever spoken.She didn't even noticed him ever.But he had always managed to find her in d crowd,whether he had deliberatly searched for her or not. 
  Her beauty mesmerized him.She was fair n slim wid innocent eyes n a pretty little nose. Silky tresses that cascaded to her waist,golden earings,shining teeth and glossy pink lips added to her charm. Her simplicity made her look more appealing.Today,she was wearing a sky blue-n-white striped saree which was tellin silently dat she either wrked in a bank or an MNC. 
       The train arrived.She adjusted her dupatta and stepped in.He too jumped inside alongside her,effortlessly.His head was blank since the time his eyes had alighted on her face.The fear of being scolded by the coach and even d pain f d biting shoes had vanished. The heaviness f his cricket kit too did not seem to bother him any longer.Somehow everything seemed pleasant now.Standing at a distance,he kept watching her from d corner f his eyes.He knew hw was behaving weirdly,but he could not stop himself.she fely his fixed glance,but didn't say anything.. 
        "VIREN"someone patted him on his shoulder.He came out of his trance like state n turned aroun.It was Subodh,his team-mate,the fastest bowler f his team n olso a gud frn. They would practice and play sessions together.
       "Where were u man?Even ur cell phone is switched off.."Subodh questioned.
  Viren didn't reply,just threw an annoyed look at himand kept on watching d angel (yes,this was d only name that he cud think f her).
        THe metro was running on d tracks and so were his heartbeats,as his station was drawing closer wid every passing second. 'Why the hell is driver drivn so fast?'he murmured to himself.tHE arrival f d train in Saket was announced.This was where he would have to get off...Damn!! 
    HE reluctantly picked up his kit and braced himself to get off.She also got up from the seat to de-board the same station. 
  "THank yoU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU GOD!!" IN excitement,he unconciously folded his hands and looked up to payy his regards to the great Almighty for his extreme kindness.Subodh,who too had movd towards d door , noticed VIREN's fast-changing expressions n was puzzled and unable to comprehend anything.
  THe train stopped at d station.She got off and walked towards d escalotors.Viren did d same and followed her till the exit gate of d metro station.
  "Who was she?" Subodh enquired,after she left.
 "ANGEL"the word spilled out from his mouth.
 "NOThing"he smiled wider...

The following 28 member(s) liked the above post:


MehakGera Goldie

Joined: 18 January 2013
Posts: 1722

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 5:34am | IP Logged
yeah i am d first one
ok d update was just ossm
loved d wy u described both of dem
and it was ossmly written
plz update soon,i mean everyday or else u know whats going to happen 

Edited by mgera3024 - 15 March 2013 at 5:52am
shobrakapooor IF-Rockerz

Joined: 29 November 2010
Posts: 6958

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 11:47am | IP Logged
oh , just cheering over here, in the success of ur first attemptClapClapClapClap
New concept, nd it was totally brilliant!
I can just imagine Viren's reaction on seeing Jeevika, beautifully describedStarStar
U were into the story...
Continue soon...

Edited by shobrakapooor - 15 March 2013 at 11:52am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


little.angel56 Goldie

Joined: 29 September 2012
Posts: 1594

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 12:11pm | IP Logged

Welcome to the writing section firstly, haah! ROFL

Now the story!

Love at platform, the title interests me a lot, and at Metro with his cricket kit and his shoes bitting, omg, imagining Viren in such a way is not at all tough. He looks so cute!
And that figure, i am going to wait how will you show their first conversation,!

Written beautifully! It was flawless, each and every thing described was complete!

Perfect start! You look awesome at this work!

Continue soon 
romanticgurl070 Goldie

Joined: 26 November 2010
Posts: 2374

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
first attempt nice one  Clap
loved it
-vish- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 06 August 2012
Posts: 6618

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 6:39pm | IP Logged
awesome update..loved
loved hw u described jeevika n viren's reaction on seeing her..He is so cute
thanx for pm...continue soon
..Amrita.. IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 November 2012
Posts: 7409

Posted: 15 March 2013 at 8:15pm | IP Logged
amazing thought...lovd how u describer the part...cntinue soon & thanx fr the pm

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