The Seven Year 'Hitch' - Thread 2 link pg 1

             Chapter Six

               Chapter Seven

Edited by Onir - 10 years ago

                                          Chapter 1:       

        There's darkness engulfing the whole room with its eerie silence & loneliness. This room is my study, my own workplace in this big mansion. A place where I would certainly be found, if untraceable anywhere in the mansion as I spent most of the time at home here, especially since last few months. A big mansion made of bricks, which her entry years ago & her presence since then has made it to be a home. The study tonight presents a very contrasting image to that of the routine nights. Any other night this place would be illuminated with bright lights, the table a scattered mess of piles of files, the stand board having blueprints mounted on it, the laptop on the couch having numerous applications & project details with the internet on. Along with it all, would be me pouring over them all simultaneously, paralleling & deeply engrossed in them. But tonight there's just darkness that is present, overpowering everything in this room, not in the least bit sparing me. The darkness is very symbolic to the pain, hurt & guilt that has engulfed into its clutches my entire being. So much has transpired & happened in the time interval of two days.

         

             The multimillionaire, business magnate, person with a Midas touch - Maan Singh Khurana who is unaffected & never distressed with his ever increasing & expanding work, or ever bogged down by the deadlines for projects/deals/contracts, & most importantly has never experienced or been associated with the term Failure ... Tonight that very same Maan Singh Khurana is distressed & experiencing self-disappointment.

         Only these thoughts are swirling in my mind, while staring out in the darkness surrounding & engulfing everything around. I'm burdened with the weight of guilt, pain & hurt I'm living through now. Apart from these, most importantly I'm going through the feeling of being a failure in the most important relation & bond of my life - my Marriage.

       

          I hear the buzzing of the alarm that I had earlier set on my mobile to remind me of the time elapsed & my time to face it. To come up with few words for reverting it all back as it was before & setting everything right between us, so that the weight of the guilt would somewhat lighten. The clock on my mobile shows the time to be 23:00 hours. As I exit the study and walk across the corridor rephrasing all that I want her to know, having a fear within me of whether I will ever be able to make it all better. I move ahead to reach the room diagonally opposite - our bedroom, an abode of love  that we, my wife & I have built & are still building since the last seven years. A place where we became one soul, which has witnessed all the treasured moments of our life that is part of just us, a secret which only the two of us share. It's here that we have cried, laughed & fought & then loved each other completely with unrestrained passion, without any inhibitions & increasing in fervour each time.  This along with the ever present moonlight that touched our lives in those hours, the moon being the only witness to our union - that always peeked through our bedroom window, from the balcony, reaching out & touching us with its soothing light, in a way blessing our love & then hiding within the clouds moving across the sky, giving us our own privacy. Throughout my walk I ponder over the last 48 hours, as it was this very hour, two days back that started my journey of committing one of the biggest mistakes of my life & forgetfulness that made me realise my failure. Thinking of it, I regret that whatever I do I can't reverse it all & can't bring back the time elapsed & reverse the consequences of my actions.

          As I reach the entrance of our bedroom, from the doorstep comes into my vision my beautiful wife, my life partner of seven years - Mrs. Geet Khurana. My Mishty. But the sight that meets my eye causes a deeper pain to me. She sits there with a forlorn look in her eyes all lost in thoughts. Is she regretting it all? Has she given up on me? She sits by the dressing table in her nightgown brushing her silky hair, but not a bit into the task, she is far away from it all. I guess far from my reach too.

        

          But then I see her immediately turn towards my direction gazing towards me with worry written all over her pretty face. It's then I realise that I had exhaled a breath, a deep sigh similar to exhaustion or fatigue. This just shows how attuned she is to me, my presence & my worries. Her doe shaped hazel coloured eyes beckon me. I walk towards her as she covers the distance between us. I look deep into her eyes, the hazels that always just hold undying love, only for me. Tonight too it holds love just for me, in its full power but what overpowers it is the deep hurt I caused her, to reflect through her eyes & pierce through me. As this thought crosses my mind, she reaches out her hand towards my face & touches my right cheek with her left palm, her soft palm grazing my rough stubble trying to sooth the hurt that her pain has caused me.

         She peeps deep into my eyes, keeping my gaze locked onto hers; as if trying to convince me of what she is going to tell now... like she's had a long contemplation over it & all of it is coming from deep within her.  She cups my face within her palms and even before I can formulate words to convey my apologies to her, she beats me to it.

                    "I'm sorry" & her voice trembles but no tears seep through. That's all that she speaks & those words cause a stir within me & inflicts a deeper pain, because she doesn't need to apologise a least bit. She started again "I'm sorry, for all that I said this evening, in context of the hurt & pain I felt by your words & actions." I try to stop her from it & also attempt to tell her that she doesn't need to say this. But words just cease from coming out. It's as though her gaze has me completely captivated. She continues as if reading my mind, "..No don't try to deny that you weren't hurt or pained with my words, because I know you well enough, to understand this. These years have made me a part of you. Your body language & the emotions in your eyes said & conveyed it all; you just can't hide it from me..." I just stare at her & look on mesmerised & amazed with the level of fine tuning she has with me & how easily she can read me.

       

         "I'm guilty of hurting you with my harsh words, especially the tone & manner in which I projected it all towards you & brought everything forward."

She pauses for a moment then again continues "...Believe me I was deeply pained seeing the hurt reflecting in your eyes after I spoke them all. I never intended to hurt you but I guess I can't take those words back, as once spoken they hold their own existence, own meaning and power..."

         I now start feeling all the more guilty & weighed down by the consequences of my deeds; & at that same moment her whole being radiates pain & sorrow as though it pains her more for hurting me. I understand it well as it's very similar to what I'm going through after hurting her. But she doesn't know that her this confession & apology has pushed me more into the guilt & pain of hurting her, as the enormity of my deeds & at her large heartedness,  that in spite of it being me who hurt her very badly in comparison to her words which were actually her pain pouring out. And it all hits me hard, tenfold than what I expected.

          

              I'm pulled out of these thoughts by the tightening of her hold on my cheeks. She seems to be struggling within her to come off it, which mostly is choking her deep within. She continues as I look & stare towards her in silence listening to it all & trying to soak in all her pain, understanding the level of hurt I've caused her. Though it's causing me hurt to see her go through it all, but I deserve it & much more than it. She continues "... but still I don't regret of what I implied & meant to tell you through the use of those words.  I'm sorry for the tone & way of putting it forward. I needed to get it all out, else all of it would've only bottled up within me inflicting deeper gashes within me which would in turn pain you more than me. And that I can't allow happening..." She is still thinking about me & my pain, I so love her with all my being, just the words don't seem to seep through as I'm choked with emotions & can't get pass through the lump in my throat. I realise that by this time both of us are shedding tears yet our gaze unwavering.

          Finally when she gets a control on herself after endless moments of us shedding our pain in from of tears flowing down our cheeks, she wipes off my tears with the pads of her thumbs as I do the same to her tears trickling down her eyes onto her cheeks.

         

           She then requests, "... Let's put all this behind us and move ahead from this incident..." and pecks my cheek with the softest of touches. I feel her love radiating through my whole being by that Kiss but yet the warmth is missing. She tells me to get ready for bed till she sets the bedding and gives me a smile that is so much like her, yet tonight it fails to reach her eyes, the twinkle is missing from her hazels. I merely nod, as words fail me again, & head towards the washroom.

       As I wash my face & freshen up I feel so useless & helpless because of my nature. Being a man of few words, & then going by the recent moments in the bedroom I even lacked conveying through my actions. I come out in my black vest & track pants. Mishty turns towards my direction at the sound of the door being closed. Her eyes show a flicker of emotion on seeing me in the night wear that she loves me in, but then it's soon lost and is replaced with blankness & lack of twinkle in her hazels.

         She lies down on her side of the bed as I take to my side, she wishes me a goodnight with a smile that she always gives me since years but again I can feel the lack of its true form. I too wish her a good night with a peck on her forehead as a practice that I'm following since years.

       She then turns her back towards me & sleeps facing the wall further away from me, something that she hasn't ever done in the last seven years. Again I feel a deep pang within me. I wait for sleep to engulf her, as in my case sleep is far away from my eyes.

        As she falls deep in sleep she turns back towards me & comes much closer to me, this brings a smile to my face as I realise that all is not lost &... there's chance for us again.

Edited by Onir - 11 years ago

First of all, congratulations for the story. And I'll say what I told you earlier. Anytime! I could do this much for a friend, couldn't I? 🤗

I started highlighting the points which I really want to say something about, the ones which had me thinking how deep and wonderful they are but I realised I've highlighted the whole chapter so I'm just going to talk about it generally. 😆

The way you described the darkness in Maan symbolising the darkness surrounding him just made me agree to everything written there. Isn't it always the case that a person sees everything to be the way he feels inside? Maan could have described darkness and silence as being soothing, or he could have related the lights and the hustle bustle with the disadvantages that come with being that big a businessman. (The lights symbolising the fame and the difficulties associated with the game, and the hustle bustle as the restlessness of such a life.) but no, he took darkness to be how he felt inside. It was his inner feelings seeing things around him, taking them to be the darker side of the two facets they could contain... But it was all very well penned down!

The guilt, the sadness and the pain you feel at knowingly or unknowingly urting the one person who loves you the most and whom you love the most, is just too big to be dealt with easily. On top of it, if a person already depends more on actions than on words, it becomes more difficult to face what you've done... I don't know what Maan has done that has hurt both of them this much but I certainly do feel sorry for him for not being able to let out his feelings, to convey how much he wanted to apologise for his actions and words.

Geet's character and heart are real strong. And righteous too. I moved the fact that even though she is apologising for her tone, she still held on to her opinion of the topic being correct. She still told him that she isn't regretful of what she said, just of how she said it.

I've often heard that marriage is a relationship which is as sensitive as glass yet as strong as rock. It can break into a million pieces if not handled carefully but it gives the strength and support that a person needs to live life. Maan's apprehension of it all being the end reminded me of this... But Geet's take on all of it makes up for the rock that their relationship is. She is strong enough to let go of the pain even after being hurt herself. The last line though, made me smile. Hope is never truly lost, is it? The whole world tests on hope's shoulders and so does Maan. Even though the whole chapter gave the gloomy, sad feeling, the last line cancelled it all for me. There's still hope for them and I'm betting on Maan to make the best use of it. 😊

I almost forgot to mention SBV! Couldn't stop yourself, eh Onir? 😆

Thanks for this Onir! I'm really eager to read more of it! 🤗Edited by mayyo13 - 11 years ago

Finally got a chance to read this and can I just kick you for telling that you can't write. Bahaha. If your first work and which according to you is so amateurish would be like this, then I can't wait for the one where you'd say you're happy with a work you write. Anyway I will postpone my lecture to some other time. Let me jump to dissect it Doc

Let me tell you that the title itself conveyed something to me. Tell you what you and Zarin have picked up themes which might not be everyone's cup of tea, because everyone or at least most of the crowd would like to read a simple story with happy ending, but you two had made us think about after that supposedly happily ever after. That prickly times when everything you had built on for so long in your marital life seem to fall apart and you don't know what you want to do or what you can do anymore.

Maan here, a person who's guilty of his deeds and who wants to make it up to her but didn't know how to made me feel for him. It wasn't his fault that he was a man of few words but at times you need to speak only to keep the other person from hurting more. You should show them at least by your actions that you care.
And Geet here is brilliant. I am in awe of the lady, the strength of her character. Her apologizing for hurting him not once expecting an apology for the hurt he caused her instead shows the beauty of her heart, while she telling him that though she didn't mean to put the words in the way they'd come, the meaning wasn't too far from reality showed her honesty. Often we say things, which we very much mean but we may not mean in the way they'd come out, and she had recognized and made that clear between them, and that's what had made me love the woman.

I can't take those words back, as once spoken they hold their own existence, own meaning and power...
 
So true. Words once spoken can't be taken back and many times the uttered words change the entire relation you've built over years.

The lack of warmth or her turning her back, small gestures and things like these might prick him, and might give him an impression that they might not share the same bond anymore, but if he'd try, he'd definitely be able to build a new bond with her altogether. And I for one can't wait for that. Loved it Doc 🤗

Edited by .Maggie. - 11 years ago

it was nice..

only a true life partner can understand unsaid words.. (aisa pada or suna hai..)

i loved the ending though. not evrything is lost.. still a hope is there...

keep writing Onir.. we will keep raeding. promise...😊😊😊
Edited by mannubhardwaj - 11 years ago

CONGRATS FOR THE STORY

Originally posted by: punam2712

CONGRATS FOR THE STORY

WAITING

😊 

Originally posted by: Onir

Hello everyone!!!

This is my first attempt at writing anything, so please bear with it.

This ones is specially for you Avi... 🤗. As it was you who introduced me to it all & also it was you who started this whole Aandolan so that I post some story here...

Also Mayyo, a big thank you for all the help, & Being so patient, 🤗

For the Bhoot mafia, Here it is... & you are already warned!

Read at your own risk... 😊