Joined: 22 November 2011
Joined: 14 April 2011
Joined: 14 April 2011
Joined: 14 April 2011
The word Wabi-Sabi
Well next chapter deals with some complex emotions so m just giving you a sneak peek of the term that has inspired this story...copy pasted from wiki.Do read before you read the chapter
Wabi-sabi represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete". It is a concept derived from the Buddhistteaching of the three marks of existence (??? sanboin), specifically impermanence (?? mujo?), the other two being suffering (? ku) and emptiness or absence of self-nature (? ku).
Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, asperity (roughness or irregularity), simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.
"Wabi-sabi is the most conspicuous and characteristic feature of traditional Japanese beauty and it occupies roughly the same position in the Japanesepantheon of aesthetic values as do the Greek ideals of beauty and perfection in the West" "If an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi."
The words wabi and sabi do not translate easily. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, remote from society; sabi meant "chill", "lean" or "withered". Around the 14th century these meanings began to change, taking on more positive connotations. Wabi now connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.
After centuries of incorporating artistic and Buddhist influences from China, wabi-sabi eventually evolved into a distinctly Japanese ideal. Over time, the meanings of wabi and sabi shifted to become more lighthearted and hopeful. Around 700 years ago, particularly among the Japanese nobility, understanding emptiness and imperfection was honored as tantamount to the first step to satori, or enlightenment. In today's Japan, the meaning of wabi-sabi is often condensed to "wisdom in natural simplicity." In art books, it is typically defined as "flawed beauty." 
From an engineering or design point of view, wabi may be interpreted as the imperfect quality of any object, due to inevitable limitations in design and construction/manufacture especially with respect to unpredictable or changing usage conditions; then sabi could be interpreted as the aspect of imperfect reliability, or limited mortality of any object, hence the phonological and etymological connection with the Japanese word sabi, to rust.
The Japanese kanji characters ? (sabi, meaning "rust") and ? (sabi, as above) are different, as are their applied meanings, yet the original word (pre-kanji, yamato-kotoba) is believed to be one and the same.
A good example of this embodiment may be seen in certain styles of Japanese pottery. In the Japanese tea ceremony, the pottery items used are often rustic and simple-looking, e.g. Hagi ware, with shapes that are not quite symmetrical, and colors or textures that appear to emphasize an unrefined or simple style. In fact, it is up to the knowledge and observational ability of the participant to notice and discern the hidden signs of a truly excellent design or glaze (akin to the appearance of a diamond in the rough). This may be interpreted as a kind of wabi-sabi aesthetic, further confirmed by the way the colour of glazed items is known to change over time as hot water is repeatedly poured into them (sabi) and the fact that tea bowls are often deliberately chipped or nicked at the bottom (wabi), which serves as a kind of signature of the Hagi-yaki style.
Wabi and sabi both suggest sentiments of desolation and solitude. In the Mahayana Buddhist view of the universe, these may be viewed as positive characteristics, representing liberation from a material world and transcendence to a simpler life. Mahayana philosophy itself, however, warns that genuine understanding cannot be achieved through words or language, so accepting wabi-sabi on nonverbal terms may be the most appropriate approach. Simon Brown  notes that wabi-sabi describes a means whereby students can learn to live life through the senses and better engage in life as it happens, rather than be caught up in unnecessary thoughts. In this sense wabi-sabi is the material representation of Zen Buddhism. The idea is that being surrounded by natural, changing, unique objects helps us connect to our real world and escape potentially stressful distractions.
In one sense wabi-sabi is a training whereby the student of wabi-sabi learns to find the most simple objects interesting, fascinating and beautiful. Fading autumn leaves would be an example. Wabi-sabi can change our perception of the world to the extent that a chip or crack in a vase makes it more interesting and gives the object greater meditative value. Similarly materials that age such as bare wood, paper and fabric become more interesting as they exhibit changes that can be observed over time.
The wabi and sabi concepts are religious in origin, but actual usage of the words in Japanese is often quite casual. The syncretic nature of Japanese belief systems should be noted.
Joined: 14 April 2011
As they walked inside the restaurant, Soumitra found the place delightful and soon the attendant ushered them to the best table .It was not very large ,the restaurant, the walls and the ceilings were intricately painted and etched with soft warm pastel tones. Her heels clicked on the floor as she swaggered behind the attendant still not looking at Soumitra who followed her curious and upset.
"She was Right the place is wonderful", he thought, though It had an indescribable smell of alcohol, everything was strange ,exquisite yet so warm and friendly. The warm golden hues from the tiny lamps bathed the little bar and the neatly placed tables were cosy and welcoming. The china looked fresh and Soumitra was amazed to see antique brass hookahs placed in one corner. In short, he had never been to a place like this. The guy at his age had never been to lounge! He had been such events a complete waste of time, he had developed this as a cheap resentment, but strangely he felt nice.
The attendant left them to their table and he cast a fleeting glance at Urmila's annoyed face.
"I guess she is upset", he frowned and when she was about to pull her chair Soumitra after placing those sheets on the table jumped and pulled the chair for her. A wickedly lingering smile was captured by his eyes, her cheeks flushed with flattery and she whispered gently , "Gentleman huh..SUPERLIKE", Saying this she suddenly unbuttoned her coat and neatly placed it on the nearby chair and sat down face to face with him.
Soumitra swallowed- Swallowed a huge lump in his throat staring at her. Her knitted sweater was perfectly ending near her waist and the skirt was shorter than he had imagined. Her skin beautiful, her face even glistening ,her bronzed cheeks glowing in the radiant dim light.He was quickly sent into a state of suspended activity. All that his eyes could focus was her earthly splendour and divine charms. They had a table right next to a huge glass window. The light brown teak wood of the table shined, which was gilded by warm blaze of the neon streetlights streaming through the window panes and the timbering of the ceiling cast its shadows on her face .Soumitra was breathing rapidly looking at her.
"What?", the baritone of her voice and her narrowed eyes caught him red handed.
Embarrassed Soumitra tore off the gaze but not being able to resist her charms, his big bright eyes gain focussed on her.
"Did you expect me to come all grinning, blushing and shy clad in a heavy saree with a cup of tea in my hand , parading before you like Siya Bhabhi did for Raghav jiju", she spoke again sensing his gazing spree
"No I mean ", he shook his head in denial defying her accusation quite cheekily.
"Then Stop Staring", she lowered her eyes ,her honeyed voice casting a spell on him.
She smiled so beautifully that her face shone like the morning glory. Soumitra tried hard but could not avert his gaze. After fighting with himself for seconds, he decided to indulge in this guilty pleasure. "Might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.", He smiled at his thoughts
"Oh Hello Ma'am how are you today? Hope you can sing again like you did for your friend's birthday?" , the attendant smiled at Urmila breaking his spell.
"Oh Wow you remember that?", she turned her face craning her neck, her countenance lit up with a sudden brightness.
"Never forget a pretty face and a golden voice.", the attendant smiled and continued, "What will you like for Drinks'",he handed over the menu to them.
Soumitra was amazed at her comfort level when dealing with people, she was seamless, a pro. She had an exemplary conduct and effervescent charm. He had never seen a woman with such contrasting qualities blended perfectly together. Soumitra was floored.
"umm How about a '",he watched her sleek fingers scan the menu and her eyes curious, "But wait don't you serve half glass", she turned her head a little more and Soumitra was stunned. His eyes wandered a got fixed over an angel tattoo behind her neck. It was beautiful. Who was this woman he wondered.
"Ahh Never mind'For me I would like z Kiwi Martini and You'.", she took charge and asked Soumitra
"Feroo Rochee Chocolate shake'", He blurted out the first thing he saw on the menu without even caring to check further. He had better things to watch.
"What That's it?", her lips pouted in wonder
"Yea'", he nodded his head.
"You don't drink?", her eyes twinkled with fervid enthusiasm.
"No",he folded his hands across his bosom.
"Never ",her eyes widened in disbelief
"Never Ever'",he nodded his head, while the attendant left .
"Whoa !!", she exclaimed and threw herself back on the chair , "you seem quite a package ",she chuckled.
"What? Package ? Is that all that I am for you?", Soumitra stuttered ,his mind raced in feverish bewilderment.
"Oh no Do not get me wrong but you are a very rare combination .I mean you just already fit in my checklist pretty well score almost 5 out of 10 '",she grinned.
"What Don 't tell me you have a checklist'?",Soumitra was surprised. Every moment he tried to decipher her, her flashing wit made him confused. This woman was surely driving him to the point of insanity.
"O yea'See",she pulled out her sleek android phone and swiped through a note .
"Godd Lord she has a list" ,Soumitra wondered cursing himself for his hasty generalizations.
You don't drink Check
You are rich Check
So quite a package Right. Don't tell me you don't have one'", she showed him the screen with gushing enthusiasm.
Soumitra stared at her dumbfounded; he scratched his head trying to find the right words to answer her.
"Sir Ma'am your drinks"
Had not the attendant intervened ,he would have definitely proved to be an idiot as he really did not have any expectations from this alliance .Everything was strange for him .Every moment was coming as a pleasant surprise to him and he was enjoying it to bits.
"Ahh excuse me..", Soumitra signalled the attendant, "Can you please just dim the lights some more and please can I have a salad fork too and get me another napkin. This looks old and can you just remove the ice and crushed chocolate chips sprinkled and Can you please change the music'It sounds so old school", His instructions never seemed to stop.
"No please I love the music'" ; she intervened
"Ok fine let it be. Please do carry out the other things", Soumitra said in a monotonous tone while Urmila wondered, her mouth gaped like a fish
"Sure sir", he left with his drink quickly.
"Arghh are you always so uptight all time 'God '",She threw an irritated look
"No I JUST LIKE THINGS TO BE Perfect'", Soumitra replied casually
"What's with this obsession of men with perfection? ",his answer triggered a huge debate
"Oh well Perfection is beautiful..It is absolute!!",Soumitra answered carelessly.
"You know Soumitra there is beauty in imperfection too. Ever heard of Mona Lisa's half crooked mile or Wabi-Sabi In Japanese? The best things in this world are imperfect. They are beautiful for their imperfections. These napkins have impression paintings if you closely have a look at them they are not dirty. But to witness art and beauty you need to shed your subjectivity. Nothing lasts, Nothing is finished, and Nothing is perfect. In art books, it is typically defined as "flawed beauty." Wabi-Sabi.Ain't it? So why this obsession about perfection .We are all flawed and that's make us beautiful", She said in a serious tone. Soumitra was shocked to be precise reading her words trying to process her gifted intelligence. A woman with a childlike free independent spirit , gorgeous splendour was not only beautiful but she had a wonderful thought process.
"Ahh this debate is going to be fun", he chuckled and continued, "Ah.. Art is abstract'I am an architect, I ought to believe in perfection, else who would want an imperfect architectural structure huh'"
Soumitra was more than excited, the conversation intrigued him. An intelligent woman was a treat and her figurative eloquence enamoured him.
"Oh So Mr Architect!! Hmm let me explain in your language .Well ever heard of the Leaning Tower of Piza? Imperfect architectural structure yet in the wonders of the world. You need not be so stiff always, flexibility can be beautiful, imperfection can be beautiful too.. Right?", she said triumphantly with a profound conviction. Her face had a strange smile as if she already knew that she had won the debate hands down.
No doubt was left!!Soumitra was charmed and rendered speechless; He looked at her with an awed admiration. Her impish humour was a real turn 'on for him and now the smart conversation was just the cherry on the cake.
Soumitra could have stared at her for hours but the attendant came with the request for food orders.
He watched her intently. She bit and chewed her lips, her fingers scanned menu asked about plate rates etc. Soumitra gauzed her restlessness and signalled the waiter to come back in a few minutes.
"Listen Relax'I WILL PAY THE BILL. Order whatever you like'.", in the spur of the moment he placed his hands on her palms. The touch was warm and caressing, her hands, it thrilled him.
"Excuse me", she pulled back her hand startling him and said in a stern voice, "who told you I cannot take care of my expenses well regarding the bill we will share. I don't like to tag along '.", she almost fumed. There was pride and a flash of inherent dignity in her demeanour
Soumitra became tremendously upset rubbing his nervous palms against each other.. He never knew the moment where he crossed his formal talk and connected to her. His heart had warmed up to her and her harsh words just made him terribly angry at himself. His eyes were lowered and his smile had faded.
Urmila noticed him ,she was caught in her own stands ,but his unhappiness bothered her. An idea flashed across her mind and she winked at him breaking the silence between them, "Waise Haath pakdne ka bahana acha tha,..You are not at all boring as I had expected you to be'" she replied cheekily and watched the grin and embarrassment on Soumitra's face again. Her stern defiance had left him disheartened but her charms had gradually started working upon him again.
"No ..Its umm '.",her nodded his head. Her unpredictability made him awfully nervous. She confused him keeping his mind racing all the time. She was bashful and meek, she was fragile and flamboyant, she was dominating and docile, she was dandy and dignified, she nice and naughty. The more he tried to read her , the more enigmatic she seemed. Soumitra was intrigued terribly. She was an untamed tigress with a docility of a fawn. How can someone be so contrasting yet so balanced at the same time? "Arghhh Urmila I already hate you..", he thought.
"Ahh Never mind. I got something for you'",she opened her bag and a golden yellow gift wrapped box was laid just before Soumitra, she slid it in front of him with a little hesitation.
Soumitra blinked his eyes; the golden lace was neatly tied in an artistic bow.
"Arghhh You fool..You couldn't even get flowers for her. What she must be thinking" ,he thought, wanting to strangle himself in embarrassment, "A girl gets a gift for you and you 'you of all persons turn out empty handed on a date'WAIT ARGHHH THIS WAS NOT A DATE", Soumitra shook his head trying to control his thought process.
"This was not at all needed",he cleared his throat ,his beady eyes still fixed on the gift ,curious to see what was there.
"ahh stop being so formal will you?",she placed the gift forcibly into his hands.
"Open it", she said excitedly
"Now ",he raised his brows
"Yes", her chuckle grew louder and her eyes twinkled with mischief.
Her excitement inflamed Soumitra's curiosity as well. He slowly held it in his hands, the gift, neatly undid the knot, the lace it slipped and fell on the table and his fingers dextrally tried to remove the cover; the process being awfully slow. The fact was Soumitra did not want to tear the wrapping, the packing was beautiful, in fact perfect and moreover it was his first gift from a girl. His fingers worked slowly and his eyes stuck to it with hypnotic fascination.
"Ahhh let me do it for you..", She snatched it from his hands in impatience
"Aww wrapping paper ,I am gonna tear you off please don't cry'.",she chuckled and Voila within a second tore it off opening the box and laying it in front of his eyes.
Soumitra was suddenly hit by a lightening. His heart skipped a beat , his eyes grew wider in surprise, his breathing became rapid in panting eagerness.
He held it between his fingers, the golden tie pin with a crystal studded in the middle of it. He felt as if he could die any moment. The metal was cool to touch, the glow just perfect .He was sent to some other world in pleasurable excitement.
"Aise mat dekho..It's not real gold ,I could afford only a Gold plating one'",Her words fell on deaf ears as Soumitra had already transcended the boundaries of space and time and found himself standing in Kanpur eight years ago.
FLASHBACK 8 years ago
The vows had been taken, the holy fire crackled and slowly died its own death ,but the warmth and enthusiasm did not fade away. The girls giggled, the men joked, the eyes of the bride's parents dampened awaiting and counting the number of hours left for their beloved daughter to depart. The party and dinner was in full bloom. Soumitra marched on the lonely first floor towards the terrace when he heard the voice of his Kaki calling him.
"Lucky yahan saman rakha hai beta ,kuch kimati jewellery bhi hai shaadi ka ghar hai thodi der k liye yahan ruk k dhyan rakh tab tak main kahin safe jagah rakhne ka intezaam karke ati hun'",Sundari Kaki called him and asked him to guard the whole room which was stuffed with gifts jewels etc. Soumitra took a deep breath and paced to and fro outside the room switching off the lights and leaned towards the courtyard below gazing at smiling, whimpering,amusing faces .Some guests were busy filling their plates with more food than they could digest as of there would occur a drought ,the very next day and they would starve for the rest of their lives. Some women gossiped about jewellery .Some of the notorious relatives cribbed about the food being too oily.There were girls and jewellery everywhere. Like it was beyond his control, his mind suddenly wavered and wondered about her whereabouts-the girl where she was. Her gang of girls was instantly recognised by him but she was nowhere. He scanned faces , his gaze wandering from one corner to another .
His attention was caught by a voice, some rustling and some things falling from inside the room.
"A thief ", his mind was alarmed .
He slammed open the door and warned, "Who's there", fully alert ,his feet walked towards the sound, the fine red light streaming through the balcony dimly illuminated the room .Out of a dark corner of the room , ran a shadow towards the balcony .Soumitra towards it and dived hugging the shadow in his arms, "Kahan bhag rahe ho chori karne aye the'."
.A loud bang sound continuously echoed in the environment , a huge thali collided and spinned on the ground beside him and laddoos scattered in the air. Completely in shock ,Soumitra gathered his senses to look at himself and realised he had trapped someone in his arms, The thief. He could tell the figure was female. Her form was refined and petite and her long, tanned braid slapped his cheeks. His heartbeats quickened as he was mesmerized by the very essence of her. He stared at her face intently , she was the same girl in orange ,her face slightly lit up with shadows and red lights flickering with the breeze. She was squirming in his grip. Soumitra quickly passed into a trance as the diver slips into a fathomless deep. His whole body which was relaxed till now became slightly rigid .There was twitching in his muscles and nerves but there was no movement as both his hands lay around her waist completely crushing his bosom against her which made him realize that their hearts almost hammered together .Was it the rush, was it the unexpected turn of events. Soumitra's mind was yet to fathom. Her fine wrist wriggled in his grip, and the shoes in her hands slipped rubbing across his body. She squeezed out of his grip and pushed him back with all her might, Suddenly Soumitra dis balanced, "Ahh" , a scream escaped his throat and even before he knew he was hanging from the railing ,his feet dangling in the air struggling with his grip on the railing. She ran towards him and squealed in horror.
Soumitra screamed as he looked beneath a huge shade of glass was beneath him and if he lost his grip and fell he would never open his eyes again. Her eyes grew terrified.
"Go get some HELP ",he yelled.
She ran towards the door for a while but suddenly stopped and ran back towards him. Soumitra was appalled and angry as he watched her. She pulled her dupatta snatching it off her shoulders and twisted firmly like a rope, one end she tied around her waist and the other making a fold around her wrist flung it towards him. Soumitra stared at her still struggling to pull him up.
"Hold it'silly'Look at me and hold it", she yelled at the panicking Soumitra.
Without wasting a second Soumitra grabbed it and she leaned extending her hands, "Hold it and pull yourself up'"
The progress was gradual and the struggle was pathetic but still she managed to pull him back. A loud thud and he fell on the floor as his feet stepped back toppling over her, twirling and twisting over and over again rolling himself and her in his grip .As he lay on top of her absolutely motionless and her fingers buried in his warm biceps trembled. Her fingertips were cool on his skin and almost caused him to gasp. Soumitra slightly tilted up his face to look at her more carefully. Her eyes were nearly but not wholly closed .The eyeballs not turned up but were fixed as she shivered in his grip due to the sudden shock. The lips were parted in a beatific and indescribable wonder, disclosing the gleam of her white teeth. Soumitra's heart almost flipped with incomprehensible urges and feelings as he looked at her in a trance.
She got up in haste pushing him back when suddenly his tie pin got stuck in her sleeves and as he parted from her his tie pulled the fabric tearing it off and the pin broke into two halves finally falling on the floor.
" Sorry and Thanks for..',His words remained stuck in his mouth as she screamed looking horrified.
"Hat pare kurta phad k rakh diya'",she pushed him back and was about to walk away picking up those shoes and fixing her dupatta when she heard him speak.
"Tum tum yahan kya kar rahi thi'",he breathed heavily trying to wash off the heavy fragrance of scent from her which still lingered in his mind.
"Joote churane ayi thi'.",She waved the shoes at him and continued, "aur tumne socha ki main..Khair chodo'",She quickened her steps
"Yeh bhaiyya k hain",He blocked her way instantly recognising them.
"To jootein churana saliyon ka right hai'Samjhe'",She giggled and signalled him to leave her way.
"No tum ise yahan se nahi le ja sakti inpe bhaiyya ka haq hai",Soumitra folded his arms across his bosom.
"Oh to tumhare bhaiyya ki shaadi to meri Di se ho rahi hai to inpe unka bhi haq hua and btw Sali is adhi gharwali so adha haq mera bhi hai inpe ..", She teased him squeezing her eyes.
"To sirf ek milega adha haq you see..", Soumitra tried to snatch away the shoes from her hands but she hid them behind her back.
"Acha ..bachoo kadva karela bolta bhi hai' not funny hai'main ise le ja rahi hun..rasam hoti hai jab tumhari shaadi hogi to tumhe pata chalega in sab k barein mein'",She smiled her crooked smile and walked past him.
"Mujhe shaadi nahi karni'.",Soumitra blurted in confusion.
"Ghabrao mat ",She turned back and winked at him, "tumhari shaadi ho bhi nahi kabhi.. ..Kisi ladki ko apani kismet kharab karni hai kya tumse shaadi karke'.Ek to Karela upar se neem chadha'",She twitched her face and started climbing down the steps.
"Arghh you cannot take this away without bhai's permission you idiot girl'ruko'",He ran towards her blocking her way again.
"Gai jab punch uthati hai to gobar hi karti hai'Gosh bhagwan na karein tumhari kabhi bhi shaadi ho'rasta choro mera'.",She tried to push him but he was ready .What followed was a struggle.Urmila's feet slipped but Soumitra held her firmly.Her big sooty lashes cast their shadows on her cheekbones as she fluttered them in annoyance.
"Ufff ab kya raat bhar hum dono ek dusre ko bachate hi rahenge..I have better things to do'.",She gave him a condescending look shoved his hand away and hurried down the steps leaving him dumbfounded. Soumitra kept on staring at her dazed
"What you didn't like it..", She leaned forward towards his face and touched his shoulder. Soumitra was so lost in his memories that he had to be called twice before he could react.
His voice just choked almost overwhelmed by looking at the gift.
"She actually remembered", this thought absolutely thrilled him.
"What you don't like it..", she mumbled.
He saw her brows creasing in confusion , "No its beautiful.. Thanks.. ",he smiled and watched those folds ironed out and her angelic face lit up with enthusiasm.
"So wear it na ..",she rubbed her palms excitedly.
"Let me'just",she got up from her seat and hovered near him. Soumitra grew extremely uncomfortable as she leaned near his face and clipped started clipping the tie pin on his tie.
There were strange butterflies in his stomach, unknown amorous desires started throbbing him.Her ambrosial charms and her fragrance engulfed him. Her flawless skin, her perfect eyes and her slender fingers. Soumitra felt intoxicated. Her tanned hair slipped from her shoulders and brushed past his cheeks and Urmila seemed clueless about the havoc she was creating on him.Soumitra felt as if he died and floated in heavens. The stupor was pleasurable and enchanting .His eyes forgot to blink watching her .
"Ya Perfect",a smile escaped her lips as she finished her task admiring him
Her voice brought him out of his trance and he was mortified. He was here to tell her that he could not marry her but instead he was floating in an altogether new fantasy trip. Soumitra shook his head and blurted, "I can't marry you'"
There was silence for a few seconds as both Soumitra and Urmila stood face to face in shock.
"What..is this some kind of joke'",Her eyes questioned him ,utterly confused. There were thousands of questions that stormed her mind.
"No I seriously cannot marry you I am'.",He said clearing his throat but even before he could complete his sentence she blurted ,"Excuse me I 'll be back'",Saying this she walked away quickly and Soumitra watched her running towards the washroom.
Joined: 14 April 2011
The water from the tap splashed against the translucent grey bowl sink, creating vapors due to being lukewarm, swishing loud enough to muffle her sobs.Her slender fingers reached out for the tissue box sliding one tissue after another, trying to wipe off the stray tears which refused to listen to the commends of her mind. Somewhere deep down, her heat broke crushed into innumerable pieces which she tried to gather in vain.
"Stop crying will you'.",She threw the tissues in the dustbin, breathing heavily. Rejection can be painful and she had already been through this process quite a few times. An arranged marriage and its drill can be excruciating and she was more than drained after meeting almost 14 suitors.
"This is not the first time someone rejected you",She wiped off the last traces and clearly did some damage control diffusing her smudged mascara .
"'Maybe I am a little overweight '",She glanced at her reflection in the mirror carefully ,turning sides .
"Arghh why are you being affected by some random guy'Bada aya Architect kahin ka '.", She screamed as if the arrogance of a woman would subdue in the child in her reflection which still wanted to run to her sister and cry a lot. She ruffled her hair ,gently setting it to place .Pulled her sweater fixing it properly ,took a deep breath, "I know this is not easy but ",A long pause ,she pointed her fingers towards the mirror, "Be calm. .Ok'Finish the dinner and go off to sleep as if nothing happened OK'Next morning you will forget everything Right!!"
She slammed open the door ,her gait more crisp than before as if constantly reminding herself to be stiff .
"I will forget everything tomorrow ",she kept on reminding herself walking back with an air of dignity trying to smile. It was only that her heart knew something. Memory is the treasure of the mind and how was she supposed to forget such a major incident in her life when she had yet not been able to forget Soumitra's face even after all those years.
"You have to be strong",She nodded herself and walked back.
Those few moments had been tormenting for Soumitra. Saying no wasn't easy .He fought with himself,calculated everything in his life.She was a nice girl,she was a beautiful girl and above all she was just someone whom his heart couldn't help but notice.But he knew she wasn't a girl who should be given any false hopes.She deserved better,someone who would cherish her,someone who would give her the warmth his cold calculative heart was incapable of.She should move on and rather be stuck with a man like him.He saw her walk in ,her leather peep toes clicking on the wooden flooring.No one said a word and she sat back quietly trying to pretend unaffected by the torment which happened a few minutes ago.In her absence the food had been served. She sat without even looking at him ,her fingers neatly unfolded the napkin on her lap and looked at the food.
"Looks delicious",She dug a portion and served some for Soumitra and then served herself, "Bonn appetite",She feigned chuckle and her lips bit the food. Her dramatic liveliness choked Soumitra.
There was something in her ,her alluring demeanor ,her endearing charm 'everything about her drew him like a magnet but Soumitra had to clear the air as soon as possible for her. Life hadn't been easy for him. The deceiving mists at the rough hands of time swamping his sun-graced life had left him in shambles. Everyone had moved on but, his heart had sunk back into such bleak depths that it was impossible for him to trust anyone anymore now. Once bitten twice shy. Soumitra's guilt sat in the pit of his stomach like a handful of cold gravel as he saw her chewing her food completely disoriented, her face pale, all the blush and smile having left her the moment he had blurted those words.
"Listen I did not mean to hurt you..I am sorry..", He cleared his throat mightily trying hard to mask his uneasiness.
"Duh'Do you think I locked myself in the washroom and cried buckets when you rejected me.. lol Its been hours I have left my place Nature's call you see'",She smiled trying to normalize the situation , though it irked in her heart, the rejection ,but her honour would not allow the forlorn desolation of her heart to emerge on her rounded ruddy cheeks.
Soumitra's eyes met hers.
"Ahh Liar ",he thought , "How do women be so good at acting .Like I did not see her sunken eyes with a mild puff beneath them", he wondered. Her gaze was painful ,scraped his eyes blazing him. A gaze which tore him off , made him uncomfortable .He knew she was lying as the tiny drop of tear hadn't escaped his eyes, the last thing he saw before she had left for the washroom. Urmila saw his grave face , red with discomfort and jaded with a hint of sadness.
"2500 rupees", her sharp cutting tone broke his trance.
"What..?",his curious voice stuttered looking at her carefully. Redness on her face had mitigated a bit ,there was a wicked smiled on her face.
"Yes please pay me. ",she extended her palms and then a brief pause as she gulped a glass of water, "I spent this on your gift. Thought k Baad mein vasool kar lungi'But never mind.. now I can't take it back it's of no use for me..My money has been wasted. So pay me back! And yes Mr. Nanda RIGHT now..I like cash payment only'.NO CREDITS'.", She rasped a gurgling chuckle, her face still grave without any hint of softness.
Soumitra stared at her deep ,in a state of shock, whatever her statement meant, it was something his mind took minutes to process. Their gazes locked for a few seconds and then he saw her twitch, biting her lips and without even wasting a second, peals and peals of laughter hit his numbed senses. There he saw in front of her, the lively girl back, laughing at his plight .First a sudden embarrassment gripped him and he did not realise when ,how and why,he joined her too laughing like a child, feeling free ,as if he was a different person altogether.There was no effort,the transition was seamless almost making him slip into happiness.Urmila gave a triumphant glee , "This fun won't spare you Soumitra ..I want my money now'"
"Oh here you go..You are such a miser ..Thank God I am not marrying you else my life would have been miserable", Soumitra frisked his pockets and paid her which she happily stuffed inside her wallet.
He suddenly became stunned at his careless words, darting a look at Urmila that she remained quite aloof to his comment but his guilt returned swooping upon him, this time trebled in intensity making him choke.
"Listen I did not mean to offend you'I know I should have not said yes for this meeting in the first place itself'I am ..",He blurted making her stop chewing her food.
"Is it because I am a little fat..?",her innocent eyes questioned him ,her own pretence almost gave up,the girl inside her revealed herself ,panicking.
"Oh no no not at all , It's not you ,it's just me.In fact you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life'So it's not because of you but it's me..Stop blaming yourself please'.",Soumitra's voice cracked .
"God I am such a brute",He harshly reprimanded himself in his mind. How could he have the heart to say such words to a woman like her. She was everything a man could want from his wife and even more. If only ..He sighed heavily as her words broke his trail of thoughts.
"Hmmm looks like someone knows how to please a woman'",Urmila smiled,her cheeks regained their rosy hue, the caressing smile back on her face.Soumitra was relieved a bit as she continued, "At least we can have dinner ,Itna khracha kiya hai to'.Lets at least finish dinner ,Smile-- have Fun and move on with our lives 'Chill Big deal yaar'",she said carelessly serving another spoonful of rice on his plate, "Want some more.."
"No Thanks.",He nodded his head still in a dread of breaking her heart.
"God you eat so less no wonder you are sukha kakdi'",She teased him and served him forcefully.
"Oh wow after a kadva karela(bitter gourd) now m a sukha kakdi(dry cucumber)",Soumitra wanted to chop of her nose which she twitched while teasing him.
"You should eat more. Your diet should be proper", the genuine concern seeped through her eyes and Soumitra 's heart was reduced to a mere lump.
"May be we never meet again but Promise me you will smile often, it's beautiful- your smile",the complimentary glance knocked the wind inside his lungs and he tried not to look at her .
Her comforting reassurance and her carefree attitude made him restless.
"How can she be normal so soon.How could she so easily move on.Did I mean nothing for her?",the conflicting emotions choked him.He was confused .He should be happy that she was now least concerned about this whole idea of being married to him ,instead her casual talks irritated him a bit.
"I hope you are not angry with me..",in a desperation to make her come back to the topic ,he threw in this line.
"Chill Why would I be?,its not we were committed or something ,I will find a guy much better that you haaha " she replied.
Soumitra flinched , "Wow she now wants to move on'Cool ",the thought of Urmila with another man made him twitch with a hint of jealousy.
A guilty conscience needs no accuser. Soumitra was even more confused now.The next few minutes were silent without any words ,both lost in their own world.
"Tell me something Soumitra '",her voice grew firm , Is it because you have someone else in your life..I mean do you have any girlfriend?",Urmila asked with concern .
"I don't have time for girlfriends..",He shot back in restlessness.His conflicts had left him drained.
"Oh poor Lucky No time for love'",She teased him giggling which further annoyed him.
"What a caustic sense of humour",Soumitra fumed wondering and thinking.
"Shh",Suddenly Urmila leaned forward coming close to his face and her fingers signaled him to come near .Soumitra's brows creased and looking around he moved his face closer to her .Inches apart was her face,his heart pounded ,though winters yet her autumnal lavender fragrance making him dizzy.His eyelids fluttered as her breath washed his face. " Listen..",she said in hushed tones, "Is it because,I mean'The world is changing'I really Don't mind if you have a boyfriend'?",Urmila's beady eyes gazed at him in wonder.
"What?",He flipped back ,his eyes balling out in anger and embarrassment, " no'.Are you crazy'.Stupid Girl",He gulped a glass of water. His cheeks flushed with anger,his plams grew warmer breaking into a clammy sweat.
"Phir koi aur baat hai kya'.I MEAN..There are so many Medical revolutions ,we can take you to a doctor if you'.",Urmila nodded her head with genuine concern.
The appalling accusation made Soumitra furious.The bristling temper raised its head again.Soumitra roared in anger grabbing everyone's attention, " Arghh OK enough now'" ,he banged his fist on table and got up and shoved his hands in his pocket for a second and in seconds rubbed the bridge of his nose yelling , You know what I have had enough now. You don't know me ,you don't know anything about me and you are being judgmental ,fuelling your strange fancies thinking about me as impotent even without knowing me. How will you know that I need a doctor'Haan tell me 'How do know it. Tell me .Tell me how will You know it'haan How do you know'?",Soumitra gritted his teeth in anger and squeezed his eyes .
Urmila was flabbergasted ,she looked around as now every eye in the restaurant was focused on them.She rolled her eyes and ,whispered holding him ,trying to make his sit.
"I was just guessing just Relax ..Please ..I thought..",She muttered
Guessing..How can you just guess..jab se mili ho Kuch bhi bole ja rahi ho kadva karela sukhi kakdi and now ab to had ho gayi '.God you are such a freak. No inhibitions whatsoever .This is how you accuse your husband. Is this the way to talk to your husband ?..Huh'",Soumitra leaned forward yelling loudly holding the edges of her chair.
Urmila was shocked and insulted ,she shouted back ,"How can you yell at me like this You are not my husband 'We are not married'..",she almost choked with fear and humiliation
"Ok fine " he moved back, "FINE m not your husband now but ..Is this the way you treat your would be husband '.".he fumed
"But you only said you can't marry me'.",Urmila fluttered her eyelids still refusing to believe what he said and his outburst.
Soumitra froze rooted to his spot, a sudden chill ran down his spine looking around flabbergasted ,amused faces and then cast a glance on Urmila whose eyes misted with a thin film of tears and her face as pale as if she had seen a ghost.
Soumitra bit his tongue recalling his outburst ,his own words echoed in his ears, "Is this the way to treat your husband.."
The fine droplets dewed his forehead and the stream of perspiration almost drenched him looking at Urmila's parted mouth .
"SOUMITRA NANDA YOU ARE CAUGHT",His eyes widened in shock .
Joined: 01 November 2012
Loved it a lot.. Supercool update.. Urmila is such an enchanting girl!!! So extrovert and her attitude is awesome..How come Soumitra not fall for her!!! Impossible!!! He has to fall for her so badly..
The FB is thrilling and romantic.. Didn't expected the whole turn over and how Urmila saved him..The tiepin was a nice touch!!!
How Soumitra rejected her.. Not fair at all..Though he may ve his own reasons!!!
Awww..She broke down after his rejection..How come 14 guys rejected her??? Think she too loved him from the beginning.. Just like Soumitra..
Liked how he teased him..From being gay to impotent.. Awww..Soumitra got angry.. But all this made him to confess his love..
Looking forward and thanks for writing a fabulous update Piu..
Joined: 08 October 2010
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