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Weekend Treat: VIRIKA SS:Unsought Love (End Pg 34)

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Amii90

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Amii90

Joined: 30 June 2005

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Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
Hello, Peeps (If anyone of you actually remembers) its me again! Back with a Weekend Treat upon request and threats from some :p (only after 6 months, no big deal). And yes SPECIAL MENTION goes to: NEHA.K :) I intended to write an OS but kinda went overboard so it became more of a SS; I also wanted to post all of it in one go but due to technical issues and time constraints, that won't be happening BUT rest assured, I will definitely be posting rest of the parts either later tonight or tomorrow!!! Writing after a long while so have completely lost the plot but here goes ...



UNSOUGHT LOVE

Her mind was still pondering over the quote that she had heard on the radio while driving back earlier in the evening. Retiring to bed after completing domestic chores, she took off her comfy slippers to quickly adjust herself in a cozy blanket and fixed the pillow to rest her back comfortably. She then turned to the drawer right next to her bed pulling out a black diary along with a silver writing utensil to inscribe her journal like she always had. She would often share her thoughts with her personal diary; not on daily basis but every now and then. She turned to the new page jotting down the basics such as the day, date, and the time of entry and then took a small pause wondering what to account for today's journal till the sight in front of her caught her attention. A soft smile crept across her face and instead of taking the usual route of writing her thoughts down, she chose to revisit some of the journals of the past leading up to the very present moment that her eyes were witnessing while her fingers automatically reverted back some pages.
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Journal # 1 - Thursday - March 8, 2012 ' 10:30 PM

They say "It always rains the hardest on the people who deserve the sun" and hearing this quote, I would always think of those who are poor, homeless, malnourished, and had to beg for even the basic necessities of life. I, fortunately, never found myself in that position; I was never poor, homeless, malnourished, in fact I had it all!! Yes I had it all sans the emotional necessities of life; grew up in a huge mansion where nobody seemed to find a time on their watch to sit together as a family, was financially secured by my parents who thought they were expressing their love by showering me with expensive gifts, had relishing meals throughout the day but with no one else to share a conversation on the dinner table! What do you call one who has always been deprived of love, care, attention, and that too from their own parents - Poor or simply ill fated? I always longed for my mother to hold me in her embrace, to pick and drop me from school, my father to teach me cycling as a kid, and all of those "normal" things that all kids of my age then did with their parents but how would they? They were too occupied with their lives and its affairs and when they were not busy with their meetings and social parties, they would be busy fighting with each other! It began to seem as if all of it was my fault, as if I somehow deserved this as a punishment for something I did or didn't do! Amidst all this, I had some hope somewhere down in my heart that things will get better, if not for me at least for my parents, but obviously it didn't take them long enough to shatter that hope of mine as they presented me with their divorce papers few days after my 18th birthday. And what followed afterwards was even better- both of them arguing and telling each other to take me in post separation; I came to their rescue and saved them the trouble by announcing that I would be moving out and living on my own.

I still vividly remember the day I arrived in LA for my post-secondary education few months after living alone back home post 18th birthday and today marks my last day of the four years I had been living in this city for. These last three delusional years of my life have been nothing but years of memories I shared with him- the one who I met an year after arriving into this city. It took me a while to get accustomed to the city, its culture, and its people; I took initiative to get to know people near my surroundings and tested the waters to find the right ones. I was advancing that search to find a"friend", to find a circle to belong to, to fit myself to not feel like a loner and just commence a new life altogether. Then, I did meet the one I had been looking for, what started as a friendship had slowly developed into something that I cannot describe in words; over these last three years, for me, he became everything- from a friend to that special someone who made me feel loved. After facing constant disappointment from our close relationships and from the ones we expect, we often begin to seek those relationships, those emotions, in faces of others who give us that love and importance, and perhaps this was the case with me. For me that emotion had always been "love", which I had always longed for and suddenly when I was exposed to such love and sense of belonging, I had embraced it with open arms. Love has no reference point because love is not comparable but for me love really had no reference point because I had none to begin with; for me it was what I felt and saw through his eyes! Be it love of parents, a friend, a romantic partner- love is love! I never knew how it feels to be loved, how it feels to see that your presence in someone else's life matters to them, how it feels to be embraced, and much more and I probably hadn't if it wasn't for him! For me, He became everything that I had always expected and sought for, everything BUT that...!!!

These past three years I had been living in a world of "dreams", which fortunately or unfortunately shattered today showing me the real image in the mirror of "LIFE"! Its rightfully said that "make friends, but don't build your life on them alone, its an unstable foundation" and this is where I went wrong! It became so easy for me over the years to surround myself and my world around him; I had nobody else but him- I began to see the world through his eyes, his friends became mine, and I gave in my 100% to our "relationship" because I never got that 100% from ones I had expected from. I had build my life around him; for me he was my everything but for him, I had always been what we he wanted me to be- just his "girlfriend"!!!!

Today, as I sit here writing this journal controlling my tears and engulfing my abdomen with left arm, I can't help but question myself and question my definition of love! Can love ever be wrong? If that wasn't love, then what was it? Perhaps it was me who expected more and perhaps "desperate" would be the right choice of word to explain what I did; I was desperately seeking that love, that attention, and when I did, I welcomed it without contemplating it even further. Perhaps I gave in too much, too quickly, and that too to a wrong person? Are three years not enough to know someone? If it wasn't love what I saw in his eyes for me, then what was it? If that wasn't love what I saw in his eyes on that night few weeks ago, then what was it? The night that I could never forget, that night when I was showered with his love, the night when I felt myself most comfortable laying in his arms as he stroked my hair. Thinking of that night, I could still sense his touch, his lips slowly trailing down my face planting kisses, and warmth of his tight embrace. That was the night when our souls intertwined captivating one another and united becoming one. It had felt so right and his loving gaze had affirmed the same; we laid there holding each other tightly reeling in all the emotions awaiting the sunrise welcoming us as "one".

"Regret" had not crossed my mind even once and his behaviour following that night had not alluded any such thing either except...well today...today when I revealed the news to him! I was initially apprehensive when I learnt the truth myself; however, just the thought of him standing tall next to me holding my hand had instantly eradicated that fear. But my delusional world shattered hearing his fierce voice and tormenting words shortly after I had disclosed the reasons behind my uneasiness and sickness from the past few days!

"How can you do this to me?!! We talked about this before and you know me damn well...I don't want anything to do with this! Listen to me carefully... its still not too late, get rid of "it"!!! Don't let that one "mistake" ruin your entire life and If you really want to do this, let me tell you, you will be on your own! I won't be a part of it!!!

"But...its our..."

"Don't be an emotional fool,.it happens, no big deal!! Get over it! Shit!! We shouldn't have done this!"

After sitting in the dark and crying endlessly for the last few hours, I have managed to emotionally gather myself and think this through; obviously I was not prepared for this either but I did not regret any of it knowing that we would somehow work this out but alas...
*************************************************************************************************************

JOURNAL # 2- Sunday, March 11, 2012 ' 9:00 PM

And here I am, in the new city- A city that never sleeps- and the view I capture through my eyes from the window of new apartment building, disambiguates that definition; one can easily lose track of time engrossed envisioning what lays in the front of them. Sitting here on the couch by the window after a long day of moving in and sipping a hot cup of coffee almost made me forget everything that happened in the last few days till I mentally recalled the reason of my presence here in the new apartment, in the new city!! After much contemplation, I decided I needed to do this, it is now or never!! He had not returned after that day and all my efforts to contact him went to vain; his absence was an implicit message of him not wanting to be there for me, for us!!!! After spending the last few years in a world that I now know did not really belong to me, now is the time for me to re-discover myself, my strengths, my abilities, to make my own world with a "new" me!!! More than me, It is about the little one who does not deserve to go through all of this; I just don't have the heart to leave this little one on its own in this world to endure what I did as a child. I can't really forget the past, especially not after having this little one serving a constant reminder of that; however, I need to initiate a step further towards my future...our future- for someone that I can proudly call my "own", someone that would motivate and challenge me to make it all work!!! A new day, a new life awaits...us!!!!
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JOURNAL # 3- Monday, April 9 , 2012 ' 9:30 PM

Its been almost a month now for us in this new city; time is going on its own pace and life...well...that is also going along with it but emotionally I stand still. Moving on and letting go is not easy, but it is definitely less painful than holding on! It had distraught me knowing that he did not want anything to do with us and didn't make any attempt either to understand what I want and what I will go through! But I am making conscious efforts to cope with this tribulation and with recent turn of events, all of that is becoming slightly easy. Luckily after a short job hunting venture, I was able to secure an employment as an Senior Accountant in a reputed Accounting Firm in Downtown, that now occupies most of my time of the day and not to mention, secures me financially as well. The day usually starts around 7 AM for me when I complete the basic morning chores and leave the house around 8:15 AM to catch the train from the nearest subway station. Crowded subways especially during early hours of the morning and late hours of the evening makes it apparent that the entire New York City relies on subway as their only way to commute. 20 minute commute back and forth from work isn't problematic; however, just the fact that you have to stand and get pushed around for that entire 20 minute ride, is really not that appealing.

After routinely travelling on the same train and around same work hours, one begins to identify few familiar faces and there is one such face that I have been coming across ever since I started work. I had seen him walking to the station during my first week of work and while coming back, he had taken the same path back which led to my apartment building. I remember I had mentally mistaken him to be following me but that doubt of mine was shortly dispelled when I saw him taking out the keys and opening up his apartment which was opposite mine across the hallway. Not only that I am now accustomed to his presence in the train, but have also become accustomed to the daily struggle that takes place between him and his belongings while managing to drink the coffee without spilling on himself or the others standing next to him. While travelling in a packed subway and that too standing, with a phone in one hand, the coffee mug in another, and laptop bag constantly sliding down the shoulder, it now makes sense how a simple task such as drinking coffee can be so problematic. I honestly feel for his Armani suit though in case someday that drink was to spill. After few weeks of mutually acknowledging each others' presence by exchanging a courtesy smile, we introduced ourselves to each other the day I was struggling with the groceries to carry them upstairs and he had offered his assistance on his way out. In fact he stated that he had noticed my absence in the train in the evening as I had taken a slight detour that day on my way home from work owing it all to grocery shopping that was needed to be done. After placing my belongings on the kitchen counter, he put his hand forward with a smile on his face and said

"I guess its about time for introductions, myself...Viren! And You are?"
"I am Jeevika!"

He further introduced himself as a Marketing Analyst working at a Corporate in Downtown for the last 3 years which explained our same work routes and routines. Now, after a month, we have become habitual seeing each other first thing in the morning heading out to work; more like actually waiting for each other at times to walk to the station together and engage in a 5 minute basic conversation about the day on way to and from work.

Apart from that, today I addressed another important affair that required my attention and is now my utmost priority. One particular billboard at the subway station grabbed my attention while I was heading back home form work few days ago and it suddenly struck me that amidst of settling in etc, I had completely forgot about this. But then I was quick enough to jot the information to retrieve it for later use and I did. So, today after work, I went to consult my gynaecologist at St.Paul's hospital to ensure me and my little one were doing okay. I slowly walked up to the reception and with my trembling voice, I stated the reason for my presence. More than anything else, I missed his presence terribly at the hospital today, I wished for him to appear magically out of thin air and hold my hand, support me, utter few loving words to calm me down, and simply be there for us for our first medical checkup. Shunning these thoughts, I made my way into the cabin and took the seat upon doctor's offering. Without much further ado, my gynaecologist had begun the process which lasted about 40 minutes till all the medical formalities were done. She explained everything stating that everything was normal as of now and I had breathed a sigh of relief till she casually queried about the father of the child! I somehow managed to hold my tears in and make an excuse for his absence stating that he is out of town but in reality, he was out of my life... out of our lives!!
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To be Cont..











Edited by Amii90 - 05 May 2013 at 7:42am

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48876vsilverashoceanview-Rosy-Princyptlktluver11vijikaRuby728virika4evakryanforeverPriyaNarakryanvirika05aa_mnhssabeehaaashna.iraniLove_Familymariarauf48sweetdollashitaCara86ammyanshujenna_promanticgurl070preetivravni_19dmg123pinky.padda.ChammakChallo.shine123NishuMradzzz123DaddysPrincessstarstellie--Iqra---vish94-arshiasushmaMarziiAngelic.gurlSaaraa.Zehra.-Aaliya.KryAn-.Tanvi._Ridz_Neha.K.Kays94

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Neha.K.

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Neha.K.

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Posts: 15589

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
aap mention karna bhool gaye.. isliye main bata ra hun ki YEH treat MELE LIYE HAINROFLROFLBlushing

main lejerbbb kaling... I lub u duchmanBlushing

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Amii90

Amii90

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Amii90

Joined: 30 June 2005

Posts: 3320

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Neha.K.

aap mention karna bhool gaye.. isliye main bata ra hun ki YEH treat MELE LIYE HAINROFLROFLBlushing

main lejerbbb kaling... I lub u duchmanBlushing

hahaha Right!!!! Edited my post for your special mention Smile

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starstellieNeha.K.

aa_mnhs

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aa_mnhs

Joined: 30 May 2011

Posts: 397

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
can't believe im the first to like,and the second to comment. willgetback after reading ;)

Amazing story Ami! Absolutely in love with the concept and especially jeevika. This was overwhelming. I really wish all women around me could be as strong as your jeevika. Shes been through so much but still stands firm, and has so much self confidence. Please update soon as i cant wait to read what happens next and how the two get together.

And whoa! 6 months and we've been deprived of the weekend treats. Not fair. Even this short story wont help you this time ;) The only compensation for the long vacation will be a treat every other weekend if not evey week.

Love
Sarah

Edited by aa_mnhs - 04 March 2013 at 12:11pm

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Amii90-Pj-

romanticgurl070

Goldie

romanticgurl070

Joined: 26 November 2010

Posts: 1579

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
WOW AWESOME
so if i'm not mistaken jeevs is pregnant n her partner considers it as a mistake.
A little confusion: is jeevs friend n viren the same person?


Edited by romanticgurl070 - 01 March 2013 at 2:43pm

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Amii90

Neha.K.

IF-Sizzlerz

Neha.K.

Joined: 16 January 2007

Posts: 15589

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Amii90

Originally posted by Neha.K.

aap mention karna bhool gaye.. isliye main bata ra hun ki YEH treat MELE LIYE HAINROFLROFLBlushing

main lejerbbb kaling... I lub u duchmanBlushing

hahaha Right!!!! Edited my post for your special mention Smile


hawww... tu te serious ho gayi.Stern Smile. i was kidding..
par sohna lag reya hai naam mera.. ju seee... shining shining in sauce wala redROFL

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Amii90

sabeeha

Senior Member

sabeeha

Joined: 02 November 2011

Posts: 872

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
!!!!!

!!!!!!

!!!!!!

I thought Weekend Treats were something we'd only hear about in history books from now on, but lo and behold!

I'll read and comment soon once I can thoroughly wind down and relax with some coffee since your stories just call for complete undivided attention.

PS: Interesting title, me likey :)

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Amii90

Love_Family

Goldie

Love_Family

Joined: 25 October 2012

Posts: 1318

Posted: 01 March 2013 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
It was awesome 

First time reading your work and I'm amazed at your amazing writing just love it 

Wonder who jeevika had the baby with????

Plz continue soon and do pm me plz

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Amii90

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