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*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! (Page 16)

kalki2007 Coolbie
kalki2007
kalki2007

Joined: 02 November 2007
Posts: 2849

Posted: 23 April 2013 at 10:33am | IP Logged
Satish best of luck with your new project - you are going to do fabulous job

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s.satishkumar

s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006
Posts: 2310

Posted: 23 April 2013 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.

Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," said Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" replied Daisy.

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spain

spain Senior Member
spain
spain

Joined: 29 January 2007
Posts: 596

Posted: 24 April 2013 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
Oh, 'no bull'!
I don't know why it took me so long to understand the literal meaning of that...
I guess this is what happens when u overload ur head with a lot of bull!!
Thanks for sharing and making me smile. Smile

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s.satishkumar

s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

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Posted: 25 April 2013 at 1:54am | IP Logged
Sardar is great...

Sardarji in the Aisle Seat

Two Radical Pakistanis  boarded a  flight out of London .

One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat...

Just before takeoff, a Sardarji came sat down in the aisle seat.
 
After takeoff, Sardarji kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Paki in the window seat said, 'I need to go and get a coke.'  '
 
'Don't get up,' said the Sardarji , 'I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you.'
 
As soon as he left, one of the Paki picked up the Sardarji 's shoe and spat in it.
 
When the Sardarji returned with the coke, the other Paki said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.'

Again, the Sardarji obligingly got up to get it. While he was gone the other Paki picked up the Sardarji's other shoe and spat in it.
 
When the Sardarji returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Sardarji slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Paki neighbors . . .
 
"Why does it have to be this way?
 
How long must this go on . . . ?
 
This fighting between our nations . . . ?
 
This hatred . . . ?
 
This animosity. . . ?
 
This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes"
s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006
Posts: 2310

Posted: 25 April 2013 at 7:41am | IP Logged
ha,ha,ha oh the wit of the man is killing.quotes by mark twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."


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ac_durga

s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006
Posts: 2310

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 4:40pm | IP Logged



 
MY DOCTOR...
 
Let me tell you about my doctor. He's very good!
If you tell him you want a second opinion, He'll go out and come in again.
~~~~~
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years
Before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~~~
Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, So, the doctor gave him another six months.
~~~~~
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said,
"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible."
The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."
~~~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled,
"Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops."
~~~~~
One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem."
The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"
~~~~~
I remember one time I told my doctor
I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."
~~~~~
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases.
One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these - If they don't work, give me a ring."
~~~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards.
The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."
~~~~~
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places,
He told me to stop going to those places.
~~~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating.
You wait a month and a half for an appointment, Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."




?

 

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ac_durga

s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006
Posts: 2310

Posted: 04 May 2013 at 4:38pm | IP Logged
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'


    The nun agreed.

    A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
    The nun replied, 'He went that way.'

    After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,
    'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Afghanistan .'

    The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

    The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

    The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of b...s ... I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.' 
s.satishkumar Goldie
s.satishkumar
s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006
Posts: 2310

Posted: 08 May 2013 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
15 Fascinating Facts About Toilets


Toilets – we all use them but seldom like to talk about them. The flushing toilet was invented by Sir John Harrington in 1596 for Queen Elizabeth I. He was originally barred from the Royal Court for spreading smutty stories, but after his invention, he was allowed back.

1. The film "Psycho" was the first movie to show a toilet flushing – the scene caused an inpouring of complaints about indecency

2. Pomegranates studded with cloves were used as the first attempt at making toilet air-freshner

3. Hermann Goering refused to use regulation toilet paper – instead he bought soft white handkerchiefs in bulk and used them

4. Over $100,000 US dollars was spent on a study to determine whether most people put their toilet paper on the holder with the flap in front or behind; the answer: three out of four people have the flap in the front

5. King George II of Great Britain died falling off a toilet on the 25th of October 1760

6. The average person spends three whole years of their life sitting on the toilet

7. The first toilet cubicle in a row is the least used (and consequently cleanest)

8. An estimated 2.6 billion people worldwide do not have access to proper toilet facilities, particularly in rural areas of China and India.

9. The Roman army didn't have toilet paper so they used a water soaked sponge on the end of a stick instead!

10. The toilet is flushed more times during the super bowl halftime than at any time during the year.

11. 90% of pharmaceuticals taken by people are excreted through urination. Therefore our sewer systems contain heavy doses of drugs. A recent study by the EPA has found fish containing trace amounts of estrogen, cholesterol-lowering drugs, pain relievers, antibiotics, caffeine and even anti-depressants.

12. Lack of suitable toilets and sanitation kills approximately 1.8 million people a year, many of them children.

13. The toilet handle in a public restroom can have up to 40,000 germs per square inch.

14. While he didn't invent the toilet, Thomas Crapper perfected the siphon flush system we use today. He was born in the village of Thorne – which is an anagram of throne.

15. In a 1992 survey, British public toilets were voted the worst in the world. Following quickly behind were Thailand, Greece, and France.
Jamie Frater

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