Indu! A new story?! You're asking us if this has potential or not? I haven't read the prologue yet, but you should know my views on the aforementioned matter. I received such a happy shock when I saw this after I came online just now. So happy to see this!
Samarpan: Prologue
Returning to the Prologue after having read 10 parts of this story...Reading everything through a semi-retrospective lens is something I had been looking forward to as I progressed with the updates as they were posted, and I am finally doing so now!
"...You always give in to her...She certainly has a way with words."
"Yes, she has...And to think there was a time when she hardly ever spoke...to anyone, though all that changed when our fates finally merged and stayed interwined," Yash smiled a faraway smile.
Ah! I had been so intrigued by this little exchange between Aayu and Yash when I first read this. Yash's acknowledgement of Aarti's way with words is so deep-rooted. Who would know the impact of those words more than him? "When our fates finally merged..." And this is where I am (where we are) currently in this story of surrender as I am typing this. That is why I felt the need to come back and elaborate - before you come up with another update that leaves me stunned, I should give you a few of my thoughts. That's the least I can do. This deserves so much more than that!
Try as he might, he couldn't imagine his mother as a silent lamb. He recalled the dressing down she gave that bully in the school bus last month for pushing his weight around and making the primary students do his bidding...Nah, his mother could be a tigress if required, especially where her cubs were concerned.
This makes me smile, because I had a similar reaction about Aarti's silence after reading about the quick anecdote about the "tigress" in her. Any mother would be a tigress for her dear little ones, I would hope! But this is also making me think of the amount of courage that Aarti cultivated over the years since her own schooldays. I am thinking of a certain spray bottle...
And also, quite suddenly, I was reminded just now of William Blake's "The Tyger"
The lamb and tigress...But here, they are one and the same, two facets of the same woman.
"A better part of her life she communicated only with the flowers, the trees, the birds, the stars, and, of course, her diary. Words'the written ones'became her companion almost as soon as she learnt to form sentences."
And, of course, her diary...I loved this part, and still do, where Yash describes everything that had been Aarti's silent companions throughout those days of her life - nature and the blank pages of a book, into which she poured out her feelings and story - and it also hinted to me that Aarti was one who must have found a sort of sanctuary in nature, among those things that coexisted peacefully with her and her thoughts. Sitting quietly in the middle of such places, with a diary and pen in hand - I can imagine her thoughts and feelings flowing easily onto the pages of her diaries and journals.
"She may not have naanima with her, but she had nanaji, so why would she be so silent? I can't imagine a day without talking with you or Aayu or mumma wherever you are...especially mumma. I so love to hear her voice when she speaks...and she speaks so well."
More contrasts and moments from upcoming parts are coming to mind! I am marveling at how your details fit together like pieces of a puzzle that is so large and so pretty...That mention of "nanaji," the reference to Aarti's voice...And Payal saying that Aarti speaks so well. Who would have thought that the woman that Payal is talking about would have spoken to Yash years ago in a way that could not have been termed "outspoken" in the tigress-like sense of the word?
Yash looked proudly at his beautiful daughter. She may not have Aarti's looks, but she was turning out to be a clone of her mother in every other way'the same softness, the same caring nature, the same penchant to set right every wrong in sight, and the same gift of believing in the goodness of life and of the living.
Such a beautiful description of both mother and daughter. I knew I would love your Aarti immensely as soon as I read this. The significance is understood even more strongly now. Aarti's inner beauty and inner strength, those qualities that she has...Payal has imbibed them. How could Yash not be a proud father and a proud husband, too?
We learn a bit about Aayu and Payal in this prologue itself. Aayu, the naughty, protective one, with his love for nature and penchant for trying to capture things that catch his interest...Payal, with her romantic notions of love, curiosity about her parents' relationship, and her own issues relating to life and love...And Yash's relationship with both of his children - he seems like a wonderful father, one who listens to his children and gives advice and guidance in ways that maintain both authority and respect in addition to approachability.
Those last two lines. Loved them then, love them now!
And on that note, I continue on...
Edited by MelodiousDreams - 07 April 2013 at 12:17am
MelodiousDreams
sheema_rajoo
