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Samarpan (An FF) Part 11 (Thread 1/Page 139) (Page 2)

MelodiousDreams IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 8:33am | IP Logged
Indu! A new story?! You're asking us if this has potential or not? I haven't read the prologue yet, but you should know my views on the aforementioned matter. I received such a happy shock when I saw this after I came online just now. So happy to see this!
 
Samarpan: Prologue
 
Returning to the Prologue after having read 10 parts of this story...Reading everything through a semi-retrospective lens is something I had been looking forward to as I progressed with the updates as they were posted, and I am finally doing so now!
 
"...You always give in to her...She certainly has a way with words."
 
"Yes, she has...And to think there was a time when she hardly ever spoke...to anyone, though all that changed when our fates finally merged and stayed interwined," Yash smiled a faraway smile.
 
Ah! I had been so intrigued by this little exchange between Aayu and Yash when I first read this. Yash's acknowledgement of Aarti's way with words is so deep-rooted. Who would know the impact of those words more than him? "When our fates finally merged..." And this is where I am (where we are) currently in this story of surrender as I am typing this. That is why I felt the need to come back and elaborate - before you come up with another update that leaves me stunned, I should give you a few of my thoughts. That's the least I can do. This deserves so much more than that!
 
Try as he might, he couldn't imagine his mother as a silent lamb. He recalled the dressing down she gave that bully in the school bus last month for pushing his weight around and making the primary students do his bidding...Nah, his mother could be a tigress if required, especially where her cubs were concerned.
 
This makes me smile, because I had a similar reaction about Aarti's silence after reading about the quick anecdote about the "tigress" in her. Any mother would be a tigress for her dear little ones, I would hope! But this is also making me think of the amount of courage that Aarti cultivated over the years since her own schooldays. I am thinking of a certain spray bottle...
And also, quite suddenly, I was reminded just now of William Blake's "The Tyger" Tongue The lamb and tigress...But here, they are one and the same, two facets of the same woman.
 
"A better part of her life she communicated only with the flowers, the trees, the birds, the stars, and, of course, her diary. Words'the written ones'became her companion almost as soon as she learnt to form sentences."
 
And, of course, her diary...I loved this part, and still do, where Yash describes everything that had been Aarti's silent companions throughout those days of her life - nature and the blank pages of a book, into which she poured out her feelings and story - and it also hinted to me that Aarti was one who must have found a sort of sanctuary in nature, among those things that coexisted peacefully with her and her thoughts. Sitting quietly in the middle of such places, with a diary and pen in hand - I can imagine her thoughts and feelings flowing easily onto the pages of her diaries and journals.
 
"She may not have naanima with her, but she had nanaji, so why would she be so silent? I can't imagine a day without talking with you or Aayu or mumma wherever you are...especially mumma. I so love to hear her voice when she speaks...and she speaks so well."
 
More contrasts and moments from upcoming parts are coming to mind! I am marveling at how your details fit together like pieces of a puzzle that is so large and so pretty...That mention of "nanaji," the reference to Aarti's voice...And Payal saying that Aarti speaks so well. Who would have thought that the woman that Payal is talking about would have spoken to Yash years ago in a way that could not have been termed "outspoken" in the tigress-like sense of the word?
 
Yash looked proudly at his beautiful daughter. She may not have Aarti's looks, but she was turning out to be a clone of her mother in every other way'the same softness, the same caring nature, the same penchant to set right every wrong in sight, and the same gift of believing in the goodness of life and of the living.
 
Such a beautiful description of both mother and daughter. I knew I would love your Aarti immensely as soon as I read this. The significance is understood even more strongly now. Aarti's inner beauty and inner strength, those qualities that she has...Payal has imbibed them. How could Yash not be a proud father and a proud husband, too? Smile
 
We learn a bit about Aayu and Payal in this prologue itself. Aayu, the naughty, protective one, with his love for nature and penchant for trying to capture things that catch his interest...Payal, with her romantic notions of love, curiosity about her parents' relationship, and her own issues relating to life and love...And Yash's relationship with both of his children - he seems like a wonderful father, one who listens to his children and gives advice and guidance in ways that maintain both authority and respect in addition to approachability.
 
Those last two lines. Loved them then, love them now! Embarrassed And on that note, I continue on...


Edited by MelodiousDreams - 07 April 2013 at 12:17am

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InduG64ZetterSaiSlovely_nikki

sheema_rajoo IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 8:49am | IP Logged
OMG OMG OMG... Indu when I saw your name and the title Samarpan( An SS) I was literally jumping in joy..

You've no idea how I terribly missed your writing. I was really hoping so badly that you would write a new SS and now knowing that you've started a new one, I'm over the moon happy... YAYYY.. One of my favourite writer is back in action.Dancing

Again another title which made me go wait what's Samarpan. Thank goodness you explained it and the prologue is so intriguing Indu. I absolutely loved it and am starting to get really curious as in to why Aarti was silent before.

Please please please do continue.. It has all the potential in the world, especially if the writer is you.. Plus asking that question itself is a crime. Love it and love you for starting a new one.
Here is a jhappi and super tight hug from an overly excited me...Big smileHug




Edited by sheema_rajoo - 21 February 2013 at 10:33am

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InduG64SaiSlovely_nikki

maha9 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:04am | IP Logged
Wow wow this story is so nice dear. and the speciality lies with the grown up kids and i like aayu so much !!!
 
This is really lovely and the way yash describes his love for arthi is so sweet !!! Please continue the first part soon dear i am so eager to read it

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InduG64SaiS

Zetter IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:16am | IP Logged
Awww very intriguing start Pal Clap Clap Clap...Glad to see that you took that leap of faith Wink Hug

ooh Aayu and PayPal are too adorable Embarrassed Heart

Can't wait for what comes next Big smile

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InduG64SaiS

kdsubs IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:19am | IP Logged
Indu - pal, that's probably the silliest question you have asked!! Of course you should continue - and that answers your niggling doubt - yes ma'am, it definitely has potential, a lot of potential.

Did I miss Ansh in the prologue? I liked the glimpse into the older Payal and born-and-decisive Ayu. He's sooo cute!!

Yes definitely - do continue.

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InduG64SaiS

taahir004 IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:23am | IP Logged
Samarpan ...wow just wow
prologue extremely interesting

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InduG64SaiS

padmavar Goldie
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:23am | IP Logged
Indu, you started another story, thank you. I loved Sparsh and was sad that it ended. I love your style fo writing and looking forward to Samarpan. Awesome prologue.

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InduG64SaiS

MaTanGini Groupbie
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Joined: 07 February 2013
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Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:24am | IP Logged
Wow Indu. Are you going to write a story? Whats an SS? Well everyone seems very excited about this and so am I. I love stories.

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InduG64SaiS

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