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ASHA in danger!!!!!(new story @page 34) (Page 3)

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Srishti.

IF-Dazzler

Srishti.

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 2679

Posted: 21 February 2013 at 6:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by neerkhan88

Originally posted by poorvisinghcd

Originally posted by neerkhan88

congrats poo for becoming a senior memberTongue

Thank u sooo much aapi
Aap ka hi aashirvad tha mere saath bas isliye itni aage badh gaye
Big smile   Embarrassed
aap yani meri aapi itne sweet ho to mein to sweet hungi naa
Rite didi

awww u r really sweet meri jaanHug
aapi agar aap otne sweet ho to mein bhi to sweet hungi naa after all aapki sis hun
Btw did u c d pics i posted in poo disscussion corner Embarrassed

Edited by poorvisinghcd - 21 February 2013 at 6:37am

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DreamyDeepz28

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DreamyDeepz28

Joined: 11 July 2011

Posts: 2882

Posted: 21 February 2013 at 7:43am | IP Logged
Hey Poorvi Wink ( Hope I can call you so)

I read your THE HAUNTED FORT story


You have done a
It was so interesting yaar Big smile
I loved the whole concept Clap

I just want to tell you that please don't post stories in a hurry without checking yaar because I felt lot of mistakes in typing
Want to also tell you dear don't use light bright colour for text it hurts the eyes to read yaar.

For the story it was nice... Woh Winnie the pooh idea
tumhein kaha seh mila mujhey pata hain Tongue
I loved villain calling Bachaa LOL
I know even about that idea too Tongue

I am confused ki waha 323 log mare theh ki 32? Confused
tumney alag number dia hain

The story plot was quite interesting to the middle
I wish it was more long
just to hold it a suspense Wink

If possible please increase font size
ya phir keep some space yaar
padhney mein kaafi takleef huveeh

Just want to tell you :


for the next coming stories Big smileThumbs Up
Thumbs up for ur story + best of luck Tongue





Edited by DreamyDeepz28 - 21 February 2013 at 8:30am

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

gadhadadaPadmpriyaSrishti.misha.as

Srishti.

IF-Dazzler

Srishti.

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 2679

Posted: 22 February 2013 at 3:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by DreamyDeepz28

Hey Poorvi Wink ( Hope I can call you so)

I read your THE HAUNTED FORT story


You have done a
It was so interesting yaar Big smile
I loved the whole concept Clap

I just want to tell you that please don't post stories in a hurry without checking yaar because I felt lot of mistakes in typing
Want to also tell you dear don't use light bright colour for text it hurts the eyes to read yaar.

For the story it was nice... Woh Winnie the pooh idea
tumhein kaha seh mila mujhey pata hain Tongue
I loved villain calling Bachaa LOL
I know even about that idea too Tongue

I am confused ki waha 323 log mare theh ki 32? Confused
tumney alag number dia hain

The story plot was quite interesting to the middle
I wish it was more long
just to hold it a suspense Wink

If possible please increase font size
ya phir keep some space yaar
padhney mein kaafi takleef huveeh

Just want to tell you :


for the next coming stories Big smileThumbs Up
Thumbs up for ur story + best of luck Tongue








aww di soo sweet

call me whtever u like i.e poo, puru, poorvi, srishti srish, pooo or whetever yaar, lol
hmmm u are rite yaar, i did make many mistakes, i corrected a few of them, but then i don't know i was struck by laziness, sorry di i will immediatly edit it and make the corrections, hope u liked my other threee stories as well

winnie the pooh n bachaa wala idea mujhe kahan se mila sab log jante haiEmbarrassed
I wish GD reads the story i want to see what she has to say after reading that lolWink
the bright colour thing even vis di told me
i used a little less brighter colours but if it is still hurting the eyes i will not use the colours, i just use the colours as it attracts peoples attention to it, but if it is hurting the eyes i won't

and i will make the necessary changes n yes everyone told me to write longer stories with more suspense and i will definatly do that for my 5 story pakka

n yes i will definatly increase the font as well as the space

i apologise for those mistakes

btw di what u posted was ur honest opinion thank u sooo much for dat, many people don't do that, one of them later told me that they feel ki i will get upset or angry so one thing i want to clear ki i will not at all get upset yaar, instead i want to know about mistakes so that i don't repeat them again

thanks soo much deepz di n i just love those cute animations yaar, sirf ek winnie the pooh missing heLOL
just kidding thanks again di n i hope u read m next story as well

and i promise it will be more betterSmile


Edited by poorvisinghcd - 22 February 2013 at 3:30am

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PadmpriyaDreamyDeepz28misha.as

misha.as

IF-Sizzlerz

misha.as

Joined: 17 December 2012

Posts: 12236

Posted: 23 February 2013 at 1:09am | IP Logged
congrax senior member poo.. Clap for award and this THREAD...
Ur stories are awoesome...Clap
sorry I m late here

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Srishti.

Srishti.

IF-Dazzler

Srishti.

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 2679

Posted: 23 February 2013 at 1:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by misha.as

congrax senior member poo.. Clap for award and this THREAD...
Ur stories are awoesome...Clap
sorry I m late here


thanks diSmileEmbarrassed
don't worry u not late
there are many who have not even seen this threadBig smile

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misha.as

gadhadada

Coolbie

gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53834

Posted: 23 February 2013 at 8:11am | IP Logged

POOWink
Yesternight I read Ur Story but yaar Mera Lappy nahi chal raha tha tou Main FB nahi day paaya...Angry
I love the way U portrayed the Casual Conversation between Girls...Clap
Mera khayal hay Mujhy Casual conversation Apni Stories mein daalny kay liyey tum say 2/3 Classes leeni parein gi...Big smileBig smileBig smile
the Starting was FabulousClapClapClap... feels TASHA Sleepy VoiceStar, KAJAL excited tone when exchanging about that SLIGH FORT...Star
then the Meeting which started little Late due to WINNIE THE POOH Late Entry...LOL
then ASHA MAAM entry was really DhansooClapClapClap... the way She pointed out Girls Gang Mistakes and Errors and then Involved Her Sharp Mind in Planning is Really Fabulous...StarStar
Some how I m not Satisfied with the whole FORT scene yaar... OuchOuch
Next time try to stretch the EventSmileSmile... wesay I love ASHA MAAM Bullet Shot...Evil Smile
BTW Baccha, I dunt think that ASHA MAAM took that decision rather Arrest Him...
The Maniac Guy did not tell why He was doing that, how did he smuggles and all...ConfusedConfused
at Initial level U also put some Police Work out too...SmileSmileSmile
The Best Part... NO Mans allowed in UR Story except DCP...WinkWinkWink
ye kya baat hui...LOL
Fabulous... Keep it Up...Clap

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

DreamyDeepz28Srishti.misha.as

Srishti.

IF-Dazzler

Srishti.

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 2679

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 2:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by gadhadada


POOWink
Yesternight I read Ur Story but yaar Mera Lappy nahi chal raha tha tou Main FB nahi day paaya...Angry
I love the way U portrayed the Casual Conversation between Girls...Clap
Mera khayal hay Mujhy Casual conversation Apni Stories mein daalny kay liyey tum say 2/3 Classes leeni parein gi...Big smileBig smileBig smile
the Starting was FabulousClapClapClap... feels TASHA Sleepy VoiceStar, KAJAL excited tone when exchanging about that SLIGH FORT...Star
then the Meeting which started little Late due to WINNIE THE POOH Late Entry...LOL
then ASHA MAAM entry was really DhansooClapClapClap... the way She pointed out Girls Gang Mistakes and Errors and then Involved Her Sharp Mind in Planning is Really Fabulous...StarStar
Some how I m not Satisfied with the whole FORT scene yaar... OuchOuch
Next time try to stretch the EventSmileSmile... wesay I love ASHA MAAM Bullet Shot...Evil Smile
BTW Baccha, I dunt think that ASHA MAAM took that decision rather Arrest Him...
The Maniac Guy did not tell why He was doing that, how did he smuggles and all...ConfusedConfused
at Initial level U also put some Police Work out too...SmileSmileSmile
The Best Part... NO Mans allowed in UR Story except DCP...WinkWinkWink
ye kya baat hui...LOL
Fabulous... Keep it Up...Clap



thank u soo much GD
i have been really clumsy this time yaar, everyone has told me about that fort part, wait i will edit the story
i am glad u liked everything else
actually was feeling very lazy towards the end
and
NO MEN EXCEPT THE DCP BECAUSE I WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
EVERYONE WRITE STORIES MAINLY ON THE DUO AND ACP
SO THE GALS ARE COMPLETLY DIFFERENT
AND MAYBE THEIR IMPORTANCE MIGHT INCREASESmile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

gadhadada

gadhadada

Coolbie

gadhadada

Joined: 27 August 2010

Posts: 53834

Posted: 25 February 2013 at 2:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by poorvisinghcd


thank u soo much GD
i have been really clumsy this time yaar, everyone has told me about that fort part, wait i will edit the story
i am glad u liked everything else
actually was feeling very lazy towards the end
and
NO MEN EXCEPT THE DCP BECAUSE I WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
EVERYONE WRITE STORIES MAINLY ON THE DUO AND ACP
SO THE GALS ARE COMPLETLY DIFFERENT
AND MAYBE THEIR IMPORTANCE MIGHT INCREASESmile

U think in a wrong way POO as Everyone knew DCP Importance... khair chalo its totally upto the Writer... Sorry if I Hurt U or Anyone Else...

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