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Is love a good thing? (Page 5)

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Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
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Posted: 15 February 2013 at 11:34pm | IP Logged
Ultimately, love is about companionship. Most of us tend towards long-term domestic relationships, someone with whom we share our time (not all our time), a home, family, etc. That sharing and growing together feels good. Co-habiting feels good for some people. But I also know couples who have been together for a long time who prefer maintaining separate residences.

Love is a good thing if you accept/practice the following principles:

- it doesn't mean you have ownership over all of the other person's affections (including sexual affection), energies, and time. You get to enjoy quite a bit of it when you're in a committed relationship with someone, and that's great, but you have to be able to have your own life and not expect that person to be your whole life (which is pathetic anyway, but that's just me).

- it is possible to love many people, and to love more than one person romantically (whether or not that goes anywhere or one acts on it is another thing altogether)

- it is not a license to treat someone like crap (being controlling, manipulative, getting jealous, dictating what they should do/wear, whom they should associate with/avoid, etc.)

- it is not "unconditional." Of course it's conditional -- on the other person not being a jerk, on the other person being able to grow/challenge themselves, on them being receptive to constructive criticism, opportunities for emotional growth, and so much more.

At least that's my point of view. I wouldn't be able to accept that someone "loves" me if the above wasn't true, and same goes for what I feel for someone too.

Overall, a pragmatic and progressive approach towards human relationships is important. We are all fed so much sentimental stuff on a daily basis (because card companies need to sell cards, and magazines need to sell sex advice, and cosmetic companies need to sell insecurities and so on). I think deep down we are all beautifully complex and are able to live with respect for one another, as long as we are able to challenge many of the norms and assumptions that come with romantic relationships.


Edited by --arti-- - 15 February 2013 at 11:29pm

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Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
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Posted: 15 February 2013 at 11:38pm | IP Logged
But all said and done, a lot of people these days live fulfilling lives without having relationships (it doesn't mean they don't have any romantic love or any sexual interactions). I think in many ways the primacy of coupledom is challenged more today than before. I also think that many queer couples or even straight couples with feminist values are able to challenge some of the patriarchal assumptions around how a romantic relationship should be practiced.

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Forever-KA

-Believe- IF-Stunnerz
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Joined: 03 December 2005
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Posted: 15 February 2013 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by McNinja

Is it really possible to love without expectations though? Just in general, it's part of human nature to want and expect certain things, not just in relationships. That's an ideal I feel is hard to meet. 
 
True, I believe love simply gives..It is not money or product...dont expect , give...and I think love and freedom go together, thy are two wings of the same bird... whenever u see that your love is going against your freedom, then you are doing something else in the name of love...Smile

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BirdieNumNum Senior Member
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Posted: 16 February 2013 at 3:15am | IP Logged

yeah, love is a good thing, a very good thing. Remember:

good love is hard to find,
good love is hard to find,
you got lucky babe,
you got lucky babe,
when I found you

LOL

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Forever-KA

epiphany. IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 February 2013 at 5:27am | IP Logged
It is unrealistically theoretical to believe in unconditional love. There are conditions that your significant other fulfills, that's the whole reason why you love them. Love is a good feeling when one makes it into their strength even when circumstances make sure to weaken them because of their feelings. For, there are factors and issues regarding loving people and the problems that love entails. But I'd like to believe that given your heart is in the right place, you'll make it. And that way, love would be a good thing indeed. Otherwise, it could really affect us and our lives the way we allow it to. I personally believe that it is through love we learn to appreciate and respect qualities unlike us even if we make the choice of who we love. And that is wonderful.


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Forever-KA

zorrro Goldie
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Posted: 16 February 2013 at 8:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by King-Anu

I have prepared a MCQ. lol. To love stricken people. please pick one option
 
A

B

 
What option was that King Anu and can a love stricken person choose? I mean no one would willingly choose to undergo any suffering if they can help it  Smile

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abcNAVYA Newbie
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Posted: 16 February 2013 at 9:47am | IP Logged
According to me, love is something like a patience, i mean something aberrant from the movies and t.v.s. A thing which can't be expressed from your mind or from any logical view... it's an adoration which comes because of true feelings toward some person or thing. it's a real nature where you can the reality of the world.
in another sense, if i try to convene you toward this fiction (which true actually) then i must say that just forget that there is some girl and boy, just think that two things are there then just try to acquaint with the sense that, that why two person come close to each other like they are made for each other and what is between them that they just try to absolve problems of their beloved one, what's that actually? if you are reading from your heart then you can get the answer that when two strangers come close to each other without any worry of world that means they are akin means they are exactly a true nature which is mostly not good according to the world's rules. as we absolutely know that we can't accept truth easily till we absolve our defaults. similarly, the true love can't be abided easily it requires struggle and many more obstacles in its path to become gold after suffering in fire. 
Smile

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Heart Senior Member
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Posted: 16 February 2013 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
Its almost funny how our mind works... most of us feel that love is a bad thing and we're better off without it, yet Valentines day is one of the most celebrated days of the year by not only couples but also by singles.. :D 

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