Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee

   

The Escort Business Thread 1

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-Diamonds-

Goldie

-Diamonds-

Joined: 19 July 2011

Posts: 1894

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:04pm | IP Logged


The Escort Business Is Officially Back!!!LOL

Yes I know I said 3 weeks for this as well but I couldn't help posting it..



Index 

Click to read Complete FF 


Part 1- 18 below...

Part 19

Part 20

Part 21

Part 22

Part 23

Part 24

Part 25

Part 26

Part 27

Part 28

Part 29

Part 30

Thread 2


Edited by ...Tanya-K... - 22 August 2013 at 3:44pm

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Goldie

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Joined: 19 July 2011

Posts: 1894

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:05pm | IP Logged

Prologue


I stood looking down my window, with my arms around myself, self-hatred and disgust overtook my mind, I heard him leaving through the door, soon silence covered my duplex apartment.

That's one done for today, another one tonight, I mentally reminded myself as I've got another client booked for tonight. My head turned towards the monitor, I heard the whimpers of my baby, instantly a smile crossed my lips, I walked over to the nursery, she was sat up and holding the bars of the crib, calling for me. I picked her up and showered her face with kisses. Has my Ameera woken up? I asked as I looked at her, she cupped my cheeks, giving me her toothless grin which brightened my mood. Then rested her head on my shoulders wrapping her arms around my neck, I stroked her curls, hugging her tight, reminding myself I need to survive for her, just for her.

 

Part 1 - 18

 

"You bitch, how dare you question me?" He shouted coming towards me, I felt his hand across my cheek making me fall to the floor, I rolled onto my back, protecting my stomach to prevent hurting my baby who was inside me.

 

He bent down, grabbing my hair in his fist; I winced as he pulled my head back, tears rolled down my eyes, "Remember!!! Women are meant to be below men, tumhari aukaat mere jhoote ki neeche hai", he spat out then pushed me and got up to leave.

 

I cornered near the wall hugging my knees, crying endlessly, I was helpless, no one to help me, I'm only 18, I hated my parents at the moment, they got me married and didn't even care to know about the man whom they're marrying me off to, they just gave me away thinking I was some sort of burden. I hated my mother, she is the one who should protect me but she didn't, she didn't because she was insanely in love with the man who's my step father, since that man came into our lives my mother ignored me, she gave more priority to him and his so called children whom she bore, my step brother and sister were innocent, though I don't have such a good relationship with them I still love them, unfortunately I couldn't spend time with them because i'm a bad influence.

 

Sharad came home from a long day at work, as he entered the living room, he saw Geet playing with his and Ahana's son. His mind boiled seeing her.

"Geet mere bete ko kyun chu rahe ho?" he asked enraged, Ahana came running from the kitchen hearing him

 

"I was just playing" I answered softly

 

"Playing? I don't want a filth like you to play with him, stay away from him"

 

Tears stung in my eyes, I looked at my mother to say something, but she kept quiet then broke the silence by telling me to go to my room

 

I hated her, I put Imran down and walked out of the room and went upstairs but I could hear his voice.

 

"That bas***d's daughter!!! He had to leave her behind! She's just a f**king problem in this house"

 

I didn't get hurt by his words as much as my mother's silence hurt me. I wish died with my father, I want my father not this man who hates me to the core.

 

I came back from college, I heard him taunt me as usual.

 

"Why are you studying? What is the point, you're only going to get married off soon"

 

I was shocked, I turned to him, "what do you mean soon?" I asked hoping it was another mean joke of his.

 

"My nephew is coming from India, you getting married in 2 weeks, so best start preparing" he asked nonchalantly but with a stern voice.

 

"No... No you're lying, mama wouldn't let me get married so soon, I'm only 17" I cried.

 

"Geet it's true" I heard her voice from behind.

 

"please don't, mama please"

 

"it's decided, if you try to protest you can't live in this house" she said angrily, then told me to leave, I left the room, I could hear his laughter, with my mother's, how can my own mother do this to me, I'm her first child, but she treated me the same as that sick disgusting lovers of hers.

 

I heard the door open, making jerk back to the present, I watched my so called husband enter the house, he was drunk and laughing to himself, he came near me, I tried to back away, but he held onto my hand.

 

"A...are...yyy..you ang..angry wit...with meee?" he slurred out, I made a disgusted face, I could smell the stench of the alcohol.

 

"I'm... sorrryyy" he slurred out,

 

"I want to go to sleep" I spoke out, slipping my hand away, and tried to walk away, but he held onto me and pulled me back.

 

I wanted to get away as I knew very well what he wants, "leave me" I tried to protest but he dragged me into the room, soon behind closed doors, only the echoes of my screams could be heard.

 

I woke up in the morning, I looked to my side to see my husband asleep on his stomach, the stench of the alcohol could be smelt, I felt an uneasiness in my stomach, I touched to feel my stomach, I became restless, I sat up hurriedly, grabbing my torn dupatta, I wrapped it around myself running into the washroom, my world collapsed as I bled. Changing into a decent dress, I didn't bother to shower as my baby's more important than my body odour, I rushed to the hospital, crying out, bumping into people as I ran to the reception area, I muttered a sorry to them and continued to cry as I ran. I didn't want to lose my baby, no, my baby was the only thing which is my support, the only reason for my being.

 

I was checked up on immediately as this was a serious and urgent matter, my heart cried out, I prayed silently that I hope my baby is still there, cocooned in my womb. 

"Your baby is fine Mrs Singhania, but you need to tell your husband to be careful next time" the nurse spoke, relieving me.

I thanked God so many times that I lost count, I thanked the midwife and left, I didn't want to go home, so I decided to pop into Lisa's flat, I knocked on the door, she instantly hugged me knowing very well what might have happened, I cried in her embrace, wanting to release all my frustration out. She offered one of her dresses and told me to shower and change while she puts breakfast on. I stood under the shower, crying, scrubbing my body wanting to get rid of his touch, I hated it, hated it because it didn't give me the shivers of pleasure but it made me feel filthy, I was disgusted at his touch, they say a husbands touch is pure and it's a touch which is out of love, but my husband's touch wasn't pure, it was impure, dirty, and it was out of lust, LUST.

I felt fresh and clean as I came out, the feeling was so relaxing, my heart felt contented as if his touch has been washed away and drained.

I changed into the long dress which she gave, I walked into the kitchen, I smiled at her seeing she made my favourite breakfast, toast, tea, baked beans and egg. I licked my lips, it felt like ages since I had food like this, these past few months I have been having roti, roti, and roti. I sat on the table as she brought me the breakfast, I ravished the food, making noises of pleasure, she laughed.

 

"what??" I pouted smiling.

 

"nothing.. Keep smiling like this, you look nice" she answered.

 

I gave a faint smile, tears glistened as I remebered last night, I forgot the last time I had actually smiled.

She hugged me, I held onto her.

 

"Shh, Geet, it's ok"

 

"it's not lisa, it's not ok, I'm tired, tired of fighting"

 

"then divorce him"

 

I broke away, and looked at her in disbelief. "I can't" I managed to whisper out.

 

"Why?" she asked me getting angry

 

"Because I know my daughter needs her father, I would've left him happily but my daughter? What will I say to her? She's going to ask me one day"

 

"tell her the truth"

 

"No.." I stood to my feet, and walked across to the window. " I don't want my daughter to feel unloved, as I felt after my father left, I can't make her go through what I'm facing, maybe he'll change after she's here".

 

"And what if he doesn't?"

 

"Then I don't know myself". I whispered out, hoping I'm proved wrong, hoping that my husband will prove he will change, for me for our baby.

I touched my stomach, "daddy will change baby, he will change". I spoke softly.

 

It'd been a year since that day, but I wasn't proved wrong, he hadn't changed even one bit, he still abused me, even when I had given birth to Ameera, a day later he abused me even knowing how much pain I was in, he didn't care.

 

I wiped away my tears, and walked into the nursery, it was time to feed my princess, my Ameera, I picked her up and settled into the chair, I unbuttoned my shirt, then positioned Ameera against my bare curve, she instantly latched on, sucking, her cute small hands curled into a little fist, her eyes closed, she looked so peaceful.

 

Part 1

 

"You bitch, how dare you question me?" He shouted coming towards me, I felt his hand across my cheek making me fall to the floor, I rolled onto my back, protecting my stomach to prevent hurting my baby who was inside me.

 

He bent down, grabbing my hair in his fist; I winced as he pulled my head back, tears rolled down my eyes, "Remember!!! Women are meant to be below men, tumhari aukaat mere jhoote ki neeche hai", he spat out then pushed me and got up to leave.

 

I cornered near the wall hugging my knees, crying endlessly, Was it wrong to ask him when he will get a job? He was jobless, I couldn't work as he wouldn't allow me, no money was coming to the house, and he was spending money as if we're millionaires. We need the money for our baby. My bank account is nearly empty because of him, he spent all my savings and the money which my daddy left me in his will. I was helpless, no one to help me, I'm only 18, I hated my parents at the moment, they got me married and didn't even care to know about the man whom they're marrying me off to, they just gave me away thinking I was some sort of burden. I hated my mother, she is the one who should protect me but she didn't, she didn't because she was insanely in love with the man who's my step father, since that man came into our lives my mother ignored me, she gave more priority to him and his so called children whom she bore, my step brother and sister were innocent, though I don't have such a good relationship with them I still love them, unfortunately I couldn't spend time with them because i'm a bad influence.

 

Sharad came home from a long day at work, as he entered the living room, he saw Geet playing with his and Ahana's son. His mind boiled seeing her. "Geet mere bete ko kyun chu rahe ho?" he asked enraged, Ahana came running from the kitchen hearing him

 

"I was just playing" I answered softly

 

"Playing? I don't want a filth like you to play with him, stay away from him"

 

Tears stung in my eyes, I looked at my mother to say something, but she kept quiet then broke the silence by telling me to go to my room

 

I hated her, I put Imran down and walked out of the room and went upstairs but I could hear his voice.

 

"That bas***d's daughter!!! He had to leave her behind! She's just a f**king problem in this house"

 

I didn't get hurt by his words as much as my mother's silence hurt me. I wish died with my father, I want my father not this man who hates me to the core.

 

I came back from college, I heard him taunt me as usual.

 

"Why are you studying? What is the point, you're only going to get married off soon"

 

I was shocked, I turned to him, "what do you mean soon?" I asked hoping it was another mean joke of his.

 

"My nephew is coming from India, you getting married in 2 weeks, so best start preparing" he asked nonchalantly but with a stern voice.

 

"No... No you're lying, mama wouldn't let me get married so soon, I'm only 17" I cried.

 

"Geet it's true" I heard her voice from behind.

 

"please don't, mama please"

 

"it's decided, if you try to protest you can't live in this house" she said angrily, then told me to leave, I left the room, I could hear his laughter, with my mother's, how can my own mother do this to me, I'm her first child, but she treated me the same as that sick disgusting lovers of hers.

 

I heard the door open, making jerk back to the present, I watched my so called husband enter the house, he was drunk and laughing to himself, he came near me, I tried to back away, but he held onto my hand.

 

"A...are...yyy..you ang..angry wit...with meee?" he slurred out, I made a disgusted face, I could smell the stench of the alcohol.

 

"I'm... sorrryyy" he slurred out,

 

"I want to go to sleep" I spoke out, slipping my hand away, and tried to walk away, but he held onto me and pulled me back.

 

I wanted to get away as I knew very well what he wants, "leave me" I tried to protest but he dragged me into the room, soon behind closed doors, only the echoes of my screams could be heard.

 

I woke up in the morning, I looked to my side to see my husband asleep on his stomach, the stench of the alcohol could be smelt, I felt an uneasiness in my stomach, I touched to feel my stomach, I became restless, I sat up hurriedly, grabbing my torn dupatta, I wrapped it around myself running into the washroom, my world collapsed as I bled. Changing into a decent dress, I didn't bother to shower as my baby's more important than my body odour, I rushed to the hospital, crying out, bumping into people as I ran to the reception area, I muttered a sorry to them and continued to cry as I ran. I didn't want to lose my baby, no, my baby was the only thing which is my support, the only reason for my being.

 

I was checked up on immediately as this was a serious and urgent matter, my heart cried out, I prayed silently that I hope my baby is still there, cocooned in my womb. "Your baby is fine Mrs Singhania, but you need to tell your husband to be careful next time" the nurse spoke, relieving me. I thanked God so many times that I lost count, I thanked the midwife and left, I didn't want to go home, so I decided to pop into Lisa's flat, I knocked on the door, she instantly hugged me knowing very well what might have happened, I cried in her embrace, wanting to release all my frustration out. She offered one of her dresses and told me to shower and change while she puts breakfast on. I stood under the shower, crying, scrubbing my body wanting to get rid of his touch, I hated it, hated it because it didn't give me the shivers of pleasure but it made me feel filthy, I was disgusted at his touch, they say a husbands touch is pure and it's a touch which is out of love, but my husband's touch wasn't pure, it was impure, dirty, and it was out of lust, LUST. I felt fresh and clean as I came out, the feeling was so relaxing, my heart felt contented as if his touch has been washed away and drained. I changed into the long dress which she gave, I walked into the kitchen, I smiled at her seeing she made my favourite breakfast, toast, tea, baked beans and egg. I licked my lips, it felt like ages since I had food like this, these past few months I have been having roti, roti, and roti. I sat on the table as she brought me the breakfast, I ravished the food, making noises of pleasure, she laughed.

 

"what??" I pouted smiling.

 

"nothing.. Keep smiling like this, you look nice" she answered.

 

I gave a faint smile, tears glistened as I remebered last night, I forgot the last time I had actually smiled. She hugged me, I held onto her.

 

"Shh, Geet, it's ok"

 

"it's not lisa, it's not ok, I'm tired, tired of fighting"

 

"then divorce him"

 

I broke away, and looked at her in disbelief. "I can't" I managed to whisper out.

 

"Why?" she asked me getting angry

 

"Because I know my daughter needs her father, I would've left him happily but my daughter? What will I say to her? She's going to ask me one day"

 

"tell her the truth"

 

"No.." I stood to my feet, and walked across to the window. " I don't want my daughter to feel unloved, as I felt after my father left, I can't make her go through what I'm facing, maybe he'll change after she's here".

 

"And what if he doesn't?"

 

"Then I don't know myself". I whispered out, hoping I'm proved wrong, hoping that my husband will prove he will change, for me for our baby. I touched my stomach, "daddy will change baby, he will change". I spoke softly.

 

It'd been a year since that day, but I wasn't proved wrong, he hadn't changed even one bit, he still abused me, even when I had given birth to Ameera, a day later he abused me even knowing how much pain I was in, he didn't care.

 

I wiped away my tears, and walked into the nursery, it was time to feed my princess, my Ameera, I picked her up and settled into the chair, I unbuttoned my shirt, then positioned Ameera against my bare curve, she instantly latched on, sucking, her cute small hands curled into a little fist, her eyes closed, she looked so peaceful, if only she knew what was happening in her surroundings, if only... I caressed her plump cheeks, I smiled as she had most of my features which I was truly happy about, but she had her father's nose though.

 

3months later.

 

I had finished feeding Ameera when I heard him come in, he walked over just giving me a glance, he took Ameera from my embrace, then told me to get food ready for him. I stood and walked into the kitchen, I took out the curry and put it on the cooker to reheat as I prepare to make fresh roti, he hated stored or ready-made ones, every day I had to make it fresh. I set the table, and went to call him when his phone rang, I picked it up, and heard a female voice asking for him before I could answer he snatched the phone off me telling the caller he'd call back.

 

"Who is she?" I asked wondering why at 11 in the night a woman would call for him.

 

I fell onto the floor as he punched me, shouting how I dared to pick his phone, how dare I question him, I cried out in pain, I saw Ameera in his other arm crying, I wanted to take her, he kicked me on my stomach with his leather boots so hard I spluttered out blood, he kept hitting me continuously, hearing her sharp cries, I pushed him, taking Ameera forcefully and ran to the nursery locking the door so he wouldn't be able to come in, he was enraged and slammed on the door, fear overtook my senses, I shivered like a leaf, today I had fought back, I hadn't a clue what to do but used my instinct, I picked the phone and dialled the one number which I didn't dream of calling.

 

"999 whats your emergency", I heard the operator ask. "my... my husband's hitting me, I've got a 8month old daughter, please come quick.

 

"Please stay on the line maam, can I have the address".

 

I answered her questions, relief filled me as I heard the sirens, he slammed harder and harder wanting to break the door coming to know I had called the police.

 

"you bitch, I'll kill you, I'll kill you and that f**king daughter of yours" he barked out.

 

Thankfully the police broke inside and dragged him out, assured he left, I unlocked the door, my whole body was shaking, Ameera didn't stop crying, the police woman escorted me to the hospital for a check-up.

Once I was safe with my daughter, I filed for a divorce and filed for custody of my daughter for good without his interference, I wanted him out of our lives.

 

My mother came round hearing I got him arrested and filed for divorce.

 

"How dare you?" "Do you know how much that man did for you?"

 

"What do you mean he done so much for me?" I asked her annoyed and angry.

 

"Who looked after you? Who's been shopping, who's been looking after your daughter, the house, who put food on the table?"

 

"He emptied my account, he spent money like water, he raped me day after day, he went to other women when I needed him the most, where was he when I was in hospital giving birth to our daughter? She isn't just my daughter, Ameera's ours. He's her father."

 

"Enough!! Do you know how much you have shamed us because of this. Your father's depressed. If you divorce him, I'll forget I ever had a daughter." "Firstly he's not my father and secondly you forgot me the day he came into our lives".

 

My mother looked at me with anger and disgust, but today I didn't care at all, I didn't hurt because I'm used to it. I watched her storm out the door, I felt relieved for some reason like a burden was off my shoulder, the burden of having to please her all the time was finally off my shoulder.

 

**********************************

 

Over the past weeks, I've been out looking for jobs to provide for me and Ameera, because the account had been emptied out, no one would take me in due to my lack of education, they were looking for people who at least done their A levels which I couldn't complete because of my so called parents who got me married to that monster. I went to bars for work, but they were all staffed, I couldn't afford to pay the mortgage, the bills, I had to start selling my clothes, furniture, the only things which were left was a bed, 3 pairs of clothes for myself, items for the kitchen but my Ameera's nursery and things was still intact because I wanted to provide my princess with everything.

 

With Lisa's help I had luckily found a job as a waitress at the local caf, I was paid a decent amount but that was only because I worked overtime and even on the weekends, my boss was an old man, he was jolly, and really nice, he offered a room for me to leave Ameera whilst I work, his daughter Angelina offered to look after Ameera if I do her shift as well, I would be paid of course, I happily obliged as I need the money.

 

Angelina came over the weekend, I let her in, she came with another friend, both were stunned to see the house, Angelina played with Ameera, as I came with tea and biscuits to the living room, both friends and Ameera was sat on the floor.

 

We engaged in a small conversation, talking about the general things, I did mention the money troubles.

 

"I know a woman who'll give you a job that'd pay better". Her friend Jodie spoke out.

 

I became interested as I need the money, she told me that a woman takes women on and all they do is to meet a few 'people' and earn a few hundred in just an hour or so.

 

"really? Where does she stay?" I asked

 

"Well not here, it's down the city".

 

"seems like goodbye to that, I don't have enough to travel". "If you change your mind, here's her card" Jodie passed the card.

 

Finishing off their tea, both left as they were going out tonight, I bid them bye, and wondered about the woman whom Jodie told me about. I put the card safely in my purse just in case I ever need her help.

 

***********************************

 

All the necessities of the house were done, bills paid, Ameera's need were met, I was settling down as the money was coming but...

 

But the caf was shut down suddenly, I panicked, I called the owner, I called his daughter, none of them could explain the reason.

 

I just wanted all my troubles to end, but it seemed to keep on coming. Money was tight once again.

 

I went to the bank taking Ameera with me, I checked my card, seeing that only 250 was left, I knew I had to get a job quick because the bills were due, Ameera's nappies, food, milk formula was needed.

 

As I scanned my purse for my other card, I came to the card which Jodie gave me a few weeks back, I knew I had to meet this woman as I've no other choice.

 

So I had decided to take the 250 out, and go meet the woman today itself, I hurried home, packed a small travelling bag with all the things which might be needed. I couldn't take Ameera, so I had called Lisa to look after her till I come back, she asked me where I was going, I told her I had an interview on the other side of the city. I couldn't tell her the entire truth because I didn't have a clue what was in store for me. I called the woman, her name was Sarah, Sarah Whites, she asked me to come over.

 

I travelled by train, then took a taxi to the given address, I looked at the apartment before me, it looked quite elegant, I knocked then met the eyes of the woman whom I spoke to, sarah.

 

She was kinda big, round bout size 18, aged 40+, height was reasonable, she was really friendly and asked me in.

 

I explained to her my money problems, she was really sympathetic, and asked me what I knew the job was about.

 

I told her the description Jodie gave me.

 

She laughed, " is that what she said"

 

I nodded innocently as I didn't know.

 

"You don't just meet people, it's men... and you don't also meet but you have to sleep with them". She said, shocking me.

 

"you.. you mean sex?" I asked regaining my voice after the initial shock.

 

She nodded, I told her I need some time, she understood and let me be, I thanked her and walked out the door, I decided to walk to the station as I came to know it was nearby, I sat on the bench waiting for my train to come.

 

I called lisa and enquired about Ameera, how she was doing, I could hear Ameera in the background talking to herself, her voice was like a balm to my aching heart.

 

Cutting the call, my mind reeled back to home, the situation of our home, the financial state we were in, the bills, Ameera's needs. The train arrived, I looked at it, wondering whether I should go back and never turn my face to this place again.

 

I walked, walked back towards the woman's apartment. I need the money, need it to survive. Need the money to give my Ameera the best life she could ask for, give her the life that I never had.


Continued Below.. Please do like and comment Smile



Edited by ...Tanya-K... - 10 February 2013 at 7:39pm

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Goldie

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Joined: 19 July 2011

Posts: 1894

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:05pm | IP Logged

Continued...

The woman took measurements of my body, and noted it down, she called round trying to see if anyone was willing to see me today.

I heard her explain my body shape and size over the phone ' tall, wheatish complexion, size 10, busty" I looked at my breasts, were they big? The woman had found someone, she gave me address and told me to go there

 

"Now?"

 

"yes.. why?"

 

"it's just I've travelled really all day, and I'm sweaty".

 

"Hmm.. run into the shower, it's that door there" she pointed to her shower.

 

"Thank you so much".

 

"Wait" she stopped me, I looked at her for a moment, she went to a room and came back with a dress

 

"Wear this.. you can't wear your asian clothes".

 

I nodded and took the dress and went to shower, finished with washing myself, I changed into the black dress which reached my knees, as I walked out, she took me to her room and sat me down on the dressing table chair.

 

I watched her dry my hair, then straightening, she done a messy bun at the side showing my shoulder, then came out her make up. She applied foundation, then powder on, my eyes were given a smoky look, she applied pink lip gloss, then brushed rosy coloured blusher on my cheeks.

 

"There... all done" she said proud of her work.

 

I looked at myself, I did look quite beautiful, for the first time in may be my whole life I felt beautiful.

 

"Here put these on" she passed a pair of heels which were about 3 inches. "You wouldn't need big heels as you're tall enough" she informed as I slipped in.

 

I thanked her immensely, she guided me to the door and explained to me what is to be done and how much to charge the man.

 

Though I nodded and left, my heart started beating fast, I was getting nervous and scared, I scolded myself as I myself didn't know what I was getting myself in for. I hailed a taxi and went to the given address.

 

My steps were heavy and slow as I walked down the path way to his house, it was a big house, and quite beautiful.

 

I knocked, and was greeted by an middle aged man, who seemed 30, he smiled at me and let me in. As we sat, we talked a little, it was like a friendly conversation, he offered me a drink which I kindly denied as I don't drink. He made me feel comfortable and was a true gentleman compared to that ex-husband of mine.

 

"It's my first" he told me.

 

I looked at him confused, wondering first time to have sex or first time to pay someone for sex.

 

He chuckled seeing my puzzled face, "My first time of paying" he said, I smiled.

 

**************************************

 

I came out after an hour, with a thick bundle of cash, 300 I earned for an hour, coming back to the woman, she smiled and asked me how it went.

 

"I was nervous at first but he made me feel comfortable, so it went well" I told her honestly, she took her share of the money, and gave me mine. I knew what I needed now, I knew what I'd have to do.

 

I sat in the train thinking about the road which I'm about to take, I didn't know whether I'm right or wrong, but all I knew was I need to do this, not for me but my daughter, to provide her with the best life, the life which I never had, I need to give her a life will secure her future.

***************

I entered my flat after a long train journey, I was tired and utterly numb due to the journey and the event of this day, I didn't know if I did the right or the wrong. Was I right?? I questioned myself, I took a deep breath and walked into the washroom, shredding my clothes off I stood under the shower letting the feel of the unknown man wash away, i bent my head up letting the water splash onto my face washing the make up, my eyes were closed, tears burned beneath my eyelids, I'm at such a stage where I've had to sell my body to an unknown man... Since I was young, I told myself I'd always belong to one man, and that too only to my husband, but it seemed the way I wanted my life is something I wasn't destined for, what else is in store for my life, what else will I be facing to survive... I scrubbed each and every part of my body, tears cascaded down my eyes unwillingly. I tried to stop myself from breaking down, but fate wasn't on my side, I sobbed, sobbed like never before not even when my husband beat me had I cried like that, I fell on my knees crying endlessly, scrubbing madly, trying to get rid of the feel of the man's hands...

After a good long shower, I stepped out and changed quickly as I had to pick Ameera from Lisa's house.

******************

Over the week, I realized it will be better for me to move away to the other side of town, Sarah had helped me alot, she chose a good duplex which I could afford to rent and helped me settle, I left silently without anyone knowing, I couldn't gather the courage to let even Lisa know, afraid of her judging me as a person, a woman, a wife, a mother... I didn't want anyone pointing fingers at me, it'd only kill me even further...

Over the coming months, I had earned quite a bit, I was doing well in this escort business, it was probably because I was newbie...

I had hired a nanny to look after Ameera whilst I'm busy with the clients, each week I had about 4/5, some I'd go to dinner with and pretend in their woman, and with some straight down to business meaning spending time with them in bed... However never had I stayed over 2hrs, that was a condition I told Sarah about, which did make her frown at first but after I mentioned Ameera , she understood and always forewarned the clients about the 2hr duration... Over these months, I met all the needs of my Ameera then mine along with the house, As I had begun earning a good sum, I had decided that I wanted to look for a proper job, and leave this business... Because in this escort world I was suffering, guilt, confusion, worry burdened me, my Ameera's future was in danger, she was going to be looked down on, and it will be all fault, I definitely didn't want my daughter's future jeopardized... But once again destiny played a cruel game...

Hearing my landowner was going to give the.duplex for sale, I panicked, because if I lost this, I'd end up in the street, having no choice I bought the duplex with all the money which I saved over these months incase of emergencies, which in this case it was an emergency...

Having no choice, It seemed to me I have to carry on being an escort...

I sat on the bed cuddled up, Ameera asleep in her crib, I looked at her beautiful angelic face, innocence radiated from her, she was sleeping peacefully, without a care, if only... If only I was able to sleep as peacefully as her, if only sleep came to me as easily, my eyes burned again, I was about to cry but stopped myself, I rubbed my palm on my face getting rid of the stinging sensation in my eyes...My brain hurt and my heart ached, I yearned for a warm embrace, so I could hold onto and cry My head turned to my left as my phone rang, sighing deeply, I picked the phone

"Hello.."

"hello geet it's me Sarah."

"hi Sarah"

"I've got a 8 o clock for you, he's a new client, just wants you to accompany him at a dinner.."

"yep.. That's fine...Name?"

"it's a Maan Singh Khurana"

"ok... And the address?"I asked as I jotted the name down,

"xyz hotel..."

"alright thanks.." I then bid bye to her and cut the call...Then made a call to Christie who is the nanny, and asked her over.

I showered, changed into a cocktail dress as it's a dinner I'm attending, but incase the client changes his mind I took a pill and washed it down a glass of water...

I put the little bit of make up as usual as I preferred my natural look rather than the fake, and plastic like...

Doing my hair in a side bun, giving myself a sophisticated look, I slipped into a pair of heels. After half an hour, I heard the door bell, I stood to my feet and walked over.

"hi Christie.."

"hi Geet" she greeted as she entered,

I looked at the clock and realised I need to set off in a bit, " I've fed Ameera, and she's asleep now, but if she wakes up just give her a bottle, I'll be 2hrs tops.."

"ok...and don't worry enjoy yourself"... I smiled at her, then grabbed a shawl and made my way out... If Christie had a clue of my life I doubted she'd tell me to enjoy... I sat in my car, and drove towards the given address to meet my client for the night, Maan Singh Khurana... As usual he is another client however I never knew my life is about to change... For the better or worse, I don't know but it's going to change...

**************

I knocked on his room door, waiting patiently for it to be opened, I heard the click and looked at the figure that appeared, I wondered why he'd need an escort, he was quite good looking compared to a few of my clients, I'd say he was handsome compared to my previous clients' Oh well I didn't care why he needed an escort, I needed the money.

Maan looked at the woman who he paid for the night, she looked beautiful in the cocktail dress, if he hadn't known, he would never have guessed she was an escort. She was pretty hot he told himself, and he was glad he had hired her, his eyes drank her curvaceous body.

 "Mr Khurana?" I asked just to make sure I hadn't made a mistake, he was like my previous clients, he's got the gaze of lust.

"yes..it's geet right?" I nodded, he invited me in, leading me to his lounge he asked me to make myself comfortable as he needed to make a few things clear.

 "we'll be going to a dinner party which will have quite alot of guests, many of them are business men who are known" his voice was deep and so masculine, this man is truly God's gift to women, he had the looks, was rich, well according to me who paid a bomb for an escort was rich and he probably had the life many men desire, whoever's his future wife, she is truly lucky. I nodded but I was unable to guess why he'd wanted me to know that.

"I need you to be my date for tonight" He told me straight, I nodded though I was curious why he was paying for a date, with his good looks he would have many women who may want to date him. "can I ask a question?"

"sure"

"why pay for a date? With your looks you'd get any girl saying yes for a date"

He chuckled, " yeah I know, but I'm not serious about dating, and the women I've dated tend to be clingy, I prefer the one nighters"

"so..what do I have to do exactly?"

"be by my side, and ward off the women who look like they wanna pounce"

 "interesting' I ward off the women but you prefer the one nighters?"

"not tonight'I've got the company of a beauty" his gaze studied me.

I smiled, guessing he meant me. "how do you want me to ward them off?" I asked getting back to business, I can't get too comfortable.

 "well however you lot do it, I don't know much about escorts, it's my first time" I nodded understanding him, but I needed to know his limits.

"limits?" I asked

"limitless" he chuckled, well at least it made my work easier.

"well that'd be 300? he looked quite surprised, first time I reminded myself, it's his first.

 "I guess I've learnt my lesson, I'll pick a proper date next time" he chuckled out, he wasn't aware of the rates, that'd be why he looked surprised when I told him the price.

Well he should be glad Sarah picked me, had she called any other girl, they probably charge double. He took out his wallet and gave the bunch of cash.

***

 We both stepped out the limo, wrapping our arms together we entered the party, many eyes landed on us, he was confident and looked rather'actually he looked emotionless, no smile, I didn't see the playful eyes as I'd seen in the hotel. Damn this man was an enigma! I was a little nervous and clamped my arms tighter around his. I've been to parties before with clients but they weren't as large as this party plus in the previous parties there was no media.

"relax'" he mumbled beneath his breath, it didn't look like he moved his lips, I merely nodded and took deep breaths to calm my fraying nerves.

Many men walked to him, greeting him.

"and who's the pretty woman?" one of them asked.

Seeing their lusty gaze hadn't taken me by surprise, I studied the man, he was probably devouring me with his eyes, I think maan must've guessed as well, since he bit out to the man that I'm his girlfriend, he had the man downcast his eyes, this man was powerful. The announcement for the dance floor echoed, many walked their respected partners.

Maan was busy with his business partners, I was beside him but my eyes roamed to the couples. There was one particular couple who caught my eye, the woman was beautiful, innocence and grace oozed from her, she was draped in a chiffon white saree, only a pair of earrings adorned her, and her mangl sutr hung her neck, she must've worn it with pride, her husband was pretty handsome, both looked heavenly, he held his wife with such pride as they moved slowly with the soft music, they didn't have to grope one another to show the world they loved one another, their love radiated around them, it was innocent and pure, both were truly lucky to have such life partners.

 I smiled at my fate, they had the love I desired since I was a child, it was the love I longed for with my husband, my eyes stung, I knew unwillingly I was about to cry, but I fought with myself reminding myself over and over, I'm working, I'm not Geet Singhania now, I'm just Geet, only Geet.

I looked away from the couple and turned to see Maan, he was conversing with a different man now. I noticed a woman approaching him, with a look like that she's probably dreaming of entertaining him in bed.

 "hi maan'" she purred out.

He smiled thinly, "Miss Kaamini", he pressed my arm tight, I knew this was my cue to ward her off. "May I?" she offered her hand, asking for a dance,

"no you may not" I answered confidently, snuggling closer to him. The woman wanted me dead with that look, 'well back at you' I mentally told her.

"I asked Mr Khurana" she said, biting it out.

"well Miss Kamini, it's my boyfriend you're asking now"

"it's Kaamini" she grit out I smirked, rolling my eyes, obviously I knew that but I'd done it purposely. She walked away, Maan smiled at me.

 "well that was pretty good, it was more than good actually' you made my money worth it" he whispered so no one but me, would hear. I chuckled, and nodded at him appreciating his comment. "dance?" he asked, I nodded since I'd rather be there than have men devour me with their looks.

He wrapped his arms around my waist while I encircled mine around his shoulders, we danced slowly moving gently with the soft music which played in the background. Maan swayed along with geet, his eyes studied her face, she had beautiful eyes, her colour contrasted her hair, her nose was cute, it was small, her cheeks were plump. Plump not fat, and her lips shaped equally and beautifully. She's probably caught him eyeing her lips, that'd be why she had bit her bottom lip and looked elsewhere, he unconsciously brought his hand to her face, and traced small patterns on her cheek slowly, he played for a bit before he cupped her jaw, she looked directly at him, he moved his head closer, eyeing her lips then met her gaze from time to time, before taking her lips into his, their lips locked together, mingling, dancing to a tune, oblivious to the world around them. Breaking apart, he pressed his forehead to hers, smiling softly, but he noticed Geet hadn't smiled, she didn't have a girly blush or any emotion in fact' She was cold and still.

For a moment he forgot he paid her, he forgot she's an escort, she probably knew it was coming. I watched him move away gently, yes I kissed him back, it was part of my profession, he had a look of awkwardness, which made me uncomfortable.

***

 Two hours passed so quick I hadn't realised till my phone went off. We were just called for dinner, but I couldn't stay, I pulled maan aside.

"I need to go"

He furrowed his brows, I closed my eyes in frustration, Sarah hadn't told him about the two hour curfew.

"Sarah hasn't told you?" I asked to double check.

"What?"

 "I only stick around for 2hrs, whether it'd be dinner or other erm business" I swallowed the lump,

"I need to go" He looked frustrated by the looks of it, "I'll pay you double, I need you to stay till dinner" I needed the money but that didn't mean I was going to neglect my baby.

"I need to go Mr Khurana, I don't deal or compromise" I told him with finality, he sighed and decided we leave together or it'd gain suspicions, plus if he stayed women will jump him.

***

 As he parked at the hotel, I thanked him and bid bye, without waiting for his reply I left, I was getting late, it's been half an hour already. Maan watched as geet drove off, she was pretty mysterious, he noticed the look of disgust she'd thrown to men throughout the party, if she'd hated it then why choose such a profession? She hardly talked, she'd done her job pretty well, he couldn't argue with that but what intrigued him was her two hour curfew, why? And she was sweet, sweeter than anyone he'd ever kissed, but how could he forget that she's an escort, even if it was for a moment. He needed a cold shower and that too now!

***

"Geet today you've got an afternoon appointment, he's coming round yours" Sarah informed me, I thanked her and hung up. I held Ameera closer to myself, cradling her closer to my chest as she suckled hungrily. I caressed her face, drawing patterns on her forehead, I was tired, I wanted to cancel the appointment but my mortgage was due along with a few other bills I need to clear this month.

***

I gave a call to Christie, telling her today she was to take Ameera out, she agreed and promised to be there in 20minutes, using the time, I dressed Ameera in a fresh clean frock and packed her travel bag with her favorite toys and given a bottle feed along in case she felt hungry. Christie arrived on time, I then bid both a bye and went to dress for my client.

***

 It turned out to be a regular client of mine, Daniel. I invited him in, he bought chocolates and a bottle of wine as always. "I'm going away for 2weeks" he whispered as he nuzzled against me, I stiffened like always, letting him do whatever he wanted. "I'm going to miss you" "Daniel!" I warned him, I've told him many times not to get personal with me, or else I'd drop him, I wasn't going to get personal with any man, I've had enough of being pushed around. "sorry'I won't" he answered back continuing'

 

A month went by pretty quick' "Hello"

"you've got an 8 o'clock appointment with Mr Khurana at yours tomorrow"

"hmm..ok" I cut the call, I wondered why he'd book me, last month he had booked me only to be his date, oh well who cares'

I went back to my cooking, today I was free which I highly appreciated, I've been booked the past few days, I hardly had time for Ameera. So today was mother daughter day. After lunch I dressed Ameera in a pink little frock which I bought for her recently, I changed into one of my suits and locked up. I strolled of to the park which was nearby, I looked at her innocent eyes which lightened up in fascination, she jumped in my arms and giggled in excitement. She had started walking a little by now, about 2/3 steps till she tumbles, I longed to hear her first words, I wondered what will be her first word, hopefully it's mama' I reached the park, greenery surrounded the entire place, with a stoney pathway, it looked like painting. I set her down on her feet, holding her tiny hands supporting her as she tried to walk.

"yayy' Challo.. Challo" I encouraged stepping away so she could walk without my support. She became excited and tried, bless her, but fell. I picked her up, she began crying but that turned to a heartily laughter as I hit the path. Scolding at it for hurting my baby. Her laughter made my heart swell with joy, I lifted her in the air and threw her up she laughed louder as I caught her, I laughed along with my baby and I realised that I had genuinely laughed in such a long time.

***

I walked Ameera to the nearby pond, it was the home of many ducks, I remembered the days with my father, every Saturday afternoon he took me to our park, there was a similar pond which was the home to the ducks. We'd always buy a loaf of bread so we fed the ducks, I always enjoyed watching the feathered birds swim across, and with one peck the bread was disappeared. I tore a piece of the bread and threw it across, the ducks swam gliding on the water for their share, Ameera was excited seeing the birds gather around the edge.

***

I looked at the clock, I had half an hour before Maan arrives, I looked at myself, I needed a shower to kill off the aching muscles, that bas***d Daniel'I even had to call Christie to come pick up Ameera, well Christie always turns up in 10 minutes, so I decided to shower then give her a call, I turned the monitor on and went to shower. My muscles ached so bad, I needed to drop Daniel, he had promised he wouldn't get personal but it seems his promises take a back seat as he lands on top of me. I mentally noted to call Sarah and let her know, I lathered the shower gel on my skin, washing off any traces of his touch, the scent of him washed away from my body, draining away with the dirty water. I switched the button off and grabbed the fluffy robe.

Drying my hair quickly with the hair dryer, I donned on a tank top with cut jeans shorts. I applied kohl and a little gloss to my lips. Glancing at the clock, I quickly called Christie unfortunately she had gone out of town due to her mother's ill health. What the hell could I do now? I've always kept Ameera away, she may be still a baby but I didn't want my baby to be in the apartment when her mother sold her body off plus I've never ever let Ameera be known to any client of mine, it wasn't s risk I'd take, many escorts suffer with a baby in hand if the client comes to know.

Especially if the client becomes attached or possessive, they'd use the baby as a means to own the escort. I wasn't risking such a chance, I'd have to cancel when Maan gets here, I heard the doorbell, strolling out my room, I went over to open the door. I looked at the man before me, he looked younger compared to a month back. He was dressed casually, in jeans today with a t-shirt and a pair of sneakers. He looked awesomely handsome in formals but today he looked quite dashing and had a boyish charm.

"I don't mind being drooled at" he winked at me,

I chuckled "please don't flatter yourself too much"

"many girls die for this"

"really? So what made you come here?"

"your kiss" "what?"

"I'll explain in full detail if you let me in"

Ameera came to my mind, "I need to cancel tonight" "what? Why?" "personal commitments"

By the look on his face, he looked puzzled. "don't tell me you thought I don't have a life beyond this?" I stated,

"yeah pretty much"

"you're not as sharp in life are you?"

"I'll ignore that"

"can you reschedule? Or call Sarah she'll book.you with another escort"

"no'it's fine, I'll be on my way" he took out a 50 note and forwarded it, I looked at it confused, he thrust it in my hand.

"I didn't do anything" I tried to hand it back but he stopped me.

"you did" he said, then took my lips into his, enthralling me in a kiss of need, he kissed me with hunger, raw hunger. Pulling away, I looked at him, both of us out of breath.

"one month' One whole month I went without a woman warming my bed, since that night' I tried but I wanted to have you" he spoke, my insides stilled.

"I'll see you later" he turned to leave but before that I needed to clear one thing.

"Maan'I'll tell you now, during these interactions never try to be personal, I'm an escort' Don't get too attached, many clients have and I dropped them with a blink of an eye, one hint of becoming attached I will drop you"

He nodded, "don't worry' Its harmless fun for me.. I'm not the clingy type' You might not have to drop me, I might"

"thats fine by me' I needed to let you know"

He bid bye and left, I watched his retreating back then closed the door.

***

I had to cancel my appointments, Ameera had fallen ill, she caught fever and had an upset stomach. She wasn't sleeping much, I was so damn tired all the time, the entire week I'd spent looking after Ameera I wished darkness consumed us, putting us to sleep forever. I lay down on the bed with Ameera engulfed in my arms, my life flashed before eyes, since my father's death, I've been engulfed by misery, I can't remember the last time I actually smiled from my heart. Not even when Ameera was born I was happy because I knew that bringing her to this world will only give her sorrow, I was surrounded by darkness, such a darkness that killed my inner self, its destroyed me completely, I could feel the warm tears slipping my eyes. I wondered if my tears will ever dry up, I looked at her, she looked pale and so weak, I wanted to put an end, an end to the darkness. My mind focused on giving an end, I wanted just set fire in the kitchen, and let the smoke engulf the both of us and put us to sleep forever. I slowly unwrapped her from my arms and lay her down, I was determined to finish off everything, as my feet touched the carpeted floor, Ameera woke up, she whimpered crawling into my arms as if she sensed what I was about to do. Cradling her in my arms, I realised what I was about to do, I was about to finish off our lives, I was about to kill my own daughter, I was probably even worse than my mother. I sobbed holding her tight, the sleepless nights caught up with me, I was drifting into a place where it seemed death was the answer to all my problems'

 

 

I handed Ameera over to christie as she was taking her away for the afternoon since I had a client over. I bid bye to them and went to dress for the coming client. I changed into a pencil skirt dress, with v cut neck, I done my hair done in a messy bun with a few curls hung out framing my face. I did little makeup as usual, slipping into my stencils, I walked towards the door hearing the doorbell.

I opened the door.

"Geet right?"

"I noticed it was a new client, I nodded."Sean Davis if i'm correct?" I asked just to be sure.

"Yes.. thats right, Well shall we?" he asked me offering his arm.

"Sorry?" I was confused, when one comes to my home they've always been entertained in my apartment, not out.

"Hasn't Sarah told you? I'm only taking you to dinner" he informed me.

Great sarah forgot to mention that, I smiled at him politely and excused myself to get my clutch.

I joined him after getting my clutch and took my pay in advance, he seemed nice, tall muscular build I guessed assessing his biceps under his suit, formal wear suited him, he had blackish brown hair which accentuated his eyes.

As we came out the building and reached the street, there was a limo parked up, he led me to the limo and escorted me in. I smiled mentally only had all my clients this nice, there were a few exceptions who were pretty good to me but some were outright rude, all because they pay me. It wasn't as if I asked them to come, they came themselves yet they treated me like an object.

"So... what do you like to do?" he asked me breaking the silence.

"Nothing much, you know just the usual as anyone else, meeting with friends etc.." I lied blatantly though he wouldn't know, it wasn't that I wanted to lie but I couldn't tell him the truth ever.

I wish just once.. Just once I could've unburdened my past off my shoulders but everyone in this world was selfish, they always think of themselves, not one person is genuine.

"what do you do?" I asked him sensing the silence was quite boring.

"I own a tech company"

"Oh.. "

"Yeah it sounds pretty boring"

"no..its good"

"I know it sounds boring, I've had my ex partners say it to me"

"Its a better job than having mine" I whispered totally forgetting my stance for a second, I recovered quickly wishing he hadn't heard me, thank God for the traffic, he missed what I'd said as he asked me to repeat it, to which I nodded no.

"So what am I meant to do exactly?"

"Be my partner for the night and stay by my side"

I nodded understanding my purpose for him, be his trophy to show off in other words.

We reached the venue, I looked out the limo windows and guessed it was maybe a dinner party, His driver opened the door and he stepped out, and offered his hand to me, i accepted and followed him inside, our arms entwined, as we passed quite a few people looked familiar to me, but I'd forgotten where I had seen them.

"Come" he said as he escorted me towards a group of people.

My eyes roamed the group casually till I met the eyes of Maan's, he looked straight at me, seeing his right I could see his partner for the night, she was pretty good looking, tall, gracious and quite naturally beautiful.

Sean introduced me as his girlfriend, I smiled at whoever I was introduced to, I had no intention to remember any of their names.

"Geet this is Maan Singh Khurana and this is his lady Sameera"

I smiled at them.

"Geet how about we leave them men to talk about their business and join the other women in the hall?" Sameera asked, she seemed nice.

I looked at Sean as I was meant to stay by his side.

"yeah thats fine, just as long I don't lose you" Sean joked and leaned down to peck my lips.

I walked away with Sameera, as the men conversed over their business.

Sameera introduced me to her friends who seemed nice though they had the venom of snakes towards those who were beneath them, had they come to know my stance in life, I guessed they'll look down on me as well.

"Dance?" I heard an all too familiar voice, I turned to meet his eyes.

"Daniel?" I asked hiding my anger in my tone, he stood there in his 3 piece suit, he looked quite good with his growing stubble which made him look older than his age and gave him a mature look rather than his chocolate boy look.

He smirked, offering his hand, the women looked at him as if he were something to eat, I accepted his hand not wanting to create a scene.

He wrapped his arms across my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"what are you doing here?" I bit out since no one was close to us.

"You dropped me" he accused me childishly ignoring my question

"You know why I had done that"

"I know, I'm sorry Geet but I really, really like you"

"Enough.. or else I'll walk out now"
"Why don't you give a chance?"

I scoffed, "I'm fine as I am.. thank you very much"

"So who's the lucky guy today?"

"Daniel!" I warned him

"I promise not to do anything" he assured me, I knew he'd never to do anything that'll hurt me, I knew when he told me he developed feelings for me, the sincerity in his eyes was enough but I was never going down that lane, even if I loved the person I was never going down that lane ever again.

"May I?" I looked behind daniel to see sean had come, daniel nodded and kissed my cheek lightly and left, sean took his place.

"Who's the guy?" Sean asked

"no one" I answered

"Old client?" Sean guessed.

"I ain't answering sean"

"fine.. so hows the party?"

"to be honest, its quite boring" I informed him, the party was really quiet, people only talked amongst their own little groups, and the conversations were of either business and the women bitching.

"Yeah I agree, I wouldn't have attended myself but I need to"

I nodded at him, "When's the party most likely to finish?"

"I know you have to leave in 2hrs therefore you can leave I'll make some excuse for you"

"Alright.. by the way the women you socialize with are bitchy" I stated in a serious tone

He laughed, a deep throat laughter, I've never had anyone laugh like that, many women eyed him, lusting...

The dinner was announced, sean led me to the table where his associates were seated, I ended up near Maan. On his left was Sameera who was clung to his arm, muttering and laughing whereas maan was just smiling.

Sean got busy talking to his associates, I felt utterly bored, Maan turned his head and offered a smile.

"Hi.." he greeted as Sameera was busy talking to the woman seated next to her.

"Hi yourself"

"So Sean's your next client?" he questioned me with a smirk

"Why? Are you jealous?"

"Oh yeah.. can't you tell my hearts bleeding" He chuckled.

"So.. Sameera?" I asked

"Well you see, when i called sarah i found out you were booked"

"Oh really?" I took a sip of my soft drink.

"mmhmm"

Our started was served, I looked at the food given, it was scallops and a salad dressing, which made me look at it distastefully, this wasn't my type of food.

Maan noticed my face, he chuckled a little.

I scowled at him, "it isn't funny"

"Try it, its not that bad"

"it still looks raw" I poked at the scallop with my fork, making sure it wasn't moving

"try it first, you may just like it"

"No thanks" I used my cutlery, cutting pieces to make it look like I ate.

"Food good?" Sean turned and asked me

"No... I expect proper food after this dinner party, and you're paying"

He snickered and agreed

"Good.. how can you lot eat this? its tasteless and bland"

"I guess you're a woman who can eat"

"Is that bad?"

"Nope.. not at all, I like my women who have appetites"

I smiled and took a sip of my drink wanting to quench my dry throat, I was literally starving, I could eat a horse at the moment.

The main and dessert looked rank as well, I couldn't eat any of it, too bland and tasteless for me and the dessert was sour and sweet.

I bid bye to Sean's associates and walked out with him, he hailed a taxi.

"I've still got an hour left"

"I know but I don't want you starved"

"Here" he passed some money, I looked at him confused.

"I can't leave but this is money to buy yourself some dinner, sorry none of the food was of your taste"

"its ok.. don't worry about it"

He pecked my cheek and went back inside, I was about to get in when i felt a hand on my elbow, I turned to see Maan there.

"Dinner?" he asked me.

"I'm on my way"

"How about dinner with me, except I have coffee"

"and why would you do that?"

"because I'm a gentleman"

"well a gentleman doesn't leave his lady alone"

"I wouldn't have left sameera if she didn't have another man's tongue down her throat"

"awww... she dumped you" I chuckled out.

"it wasn't as if I were dating her, so she can go to whoever"

"an hour is all i got" I said agreeing to his earlier question.

"Thats fine, How much for an hour?"

"Its ok, Sean's paid me for 2 hours"

"A freebie from you, how nice"

"I am nice aren't I?"

he chuckled, "Alright lets get some food in you"

He led me to his car and opened the door for me, and then took his place.

"Which place do you prefer?"

"go to the nearest cafe, I'm damn hungry and I don't think I've got the patience to wait in a restaurant"

"ok.." he chuckled and drove to the nearest Cafe there.

 

**********************************

"Oh that is delicious.. you should try it" I praised the chicken pasta salad, which was damn scrumptious.

"Are you offering?" he asked me, I looked at him for a second, then forked some pasta and offered it.

He took the bite and relished it, "Yeah its pretty good"

"it is isn't it.. I love this place, its one of my fav"

"Would you like anything else?" he asked me seeing my pasta was nearly finished.

"erm.." I licked my lips, licking away the pasta sauce that lingered on my bottom lip. "A chocolate cup cake and.. erm.. apple pastry"

he gestured the waiter and ordered for me.

"So.. What made you choose this business?" he asked, stunning me.

I chugged down a gulp of my drink, "Well it brings money in faster than any other job"

I noticed the look on his face, he was shocked with the blatant answer, I couldn't obviously tell him, I wasn't going to.

******************

"thank you" I said as he dropped me off outside my building.

"it was my pleasure" he smiled.

"bye" I turned to leave but Maan called out.

I looked at him, a little confused as he was lost in his thoughts.

"are you free tomorrow?"

"I'm free at 8 in the evening, why? you wanna book me tomorrow?" I smirked.

"yep.. from 8 till 10 I booked you" he stated.

"fine.. but I need to know are we going out or staying in"

"in.. definitely in"

nodding and bidding bye I walked into my building and made my way up to my apartment.

"Ameera..." I called out from the kitchen, I had let her go crawling away since she hated the playpen of hers. I lowered the gas of the cooker and went in search for her.

"Ameeeraaa" I sang her voice out, I could hear the small patter of her feet and hands, her small voice reached my ears as she chuckled and moved away into hiding.

"Amy"

She chuckled and moved quickly away from the corner of the sofa, hiding beneath the coffee table.

I think she heard my footsteps near her because she crawled away to the edge of the tv stand, hiding away in the small corner where she wasn't visible to my eyes but I could tell by her small laughter.

I decided to give her a surprise, I crept slowly going behind the sofa on my hands and knees like her, reaching near the stand, I grabbed her, her squeal of laughter echoed, cradling her in my arms, i tickled her endlessly, her small laughter tugged at my heart.

 

"come on angel, time for bath" I said, she clapped her two tiny hands together, she loved her bath times.

I placed her in the crib of her nursery while I filled her baby bathtub with warm water in the washroom, just warm enough for her. She watched from the crib, holding the bars for support as she stood and watched.

I smiled at her way, sticking my tongue out at her, she wrinkled her face showing me she was upset.

I played with the water a little showing her, I knew she'd get restless to come, she kicked one leg up and down indicating her want to do bath. She even tried to climb the bars, I laughed at her innocent behavior and made my way towards her.

Undressing her of her clothes, I wiped her bottom with the wipes after removing the nappy  and placed her in the bathtub.

I gathered the clothes in my hands and chucked towards the laundry basket, and threw the nappy in the waste bin situated in the corner of the bathroom, then turned my whole attention to her.

 

*********************

I only had an hour left till Maan was to arrive, I'd fed Ameera and dressed her for her outing with Christie, I just waited for Christie to arrive then I'd go and get ready.

Within the next 20 minutes, christie arrived and took Ameera away for the next two hours, I went to my room and showered quickly.

I changed into a red tank top and jeans short, slipping into a pair of slippers and clipped my long straight hair up, using as less make up, just a clear lip gloss and eyeliner,I opted for simplicity since I was going to be home today,I heard the doorbell and padded towards the door.

I opened the door and looked at the man before me, he was dressed well, in jeans and a casual t shirt, where his muscles were clearly defined. He worked out for sure, he was the most worked out guy from my clients, my clients were either lean or just a skinny, none had the toned look of Maan.

I gave him a once over and looked at him, he smirked with pride, Men and their Ego.

"You aren't that good looking" I commented letting him enter

"sure.. whatever you say honey" I could hear the sarcasm in his voice.

"Well you've got two hours and I highly doubt you'll waste it on talking so its 500" I told him directly, I wasn't going in circles or playing, they came for one thing and I charge for that.

 

He smiled and took his wallet out and placed the cash in my forwarded hands.

"There... I like your straightness"

"thanks.."

"You're welcome" a small smile tugged at his lips,

"Want something to drink?" I asked since it will be too rude to head straight to the bedroom.

"yeah... You"

I laughed and led him to the bedroom, for some reason I took him to my room not the room which I use for the other clients. I don't what caused me to do that, maybe it just slipped from my mind but I took him to my room.

I hadn't even closed the door, Maan pulled me towards him,locking his hand behind me, while one of his hands laced into my hair, his lips fell upon mine, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and did as I did with the others, responded robotically, It was a method for me, all this, sex, kisses all of it was a method for me, a duty, I never had any pleasure from it. I don't even think I ever came with any of them, I hadn't ever come for my own husband. 


***Blog*** Please pm for the link.. part of the ff e.g TEB part 1 or 18...


I slipped into my silk gown as maan dressed into his clothes, two hours passed really quickly. Neither of us realised, I led him to the door, as I opened the door for him to leave, he stepped out, but turned once more.

He kissed me one more time, "Thanks for everything"

"its ok... it was part of my job"

He smiled and left, I  closed the door leaned against it, my shoulders sagged and shook as I cried, How could I left myself enjoy that, I felt guilty, I wasn't meant to enjoy this, especially not anyone.

***************

"Geet... come to the hospital quickly" I heard christie scream over the phone, my stomach dipped in fear, I was scared, scared to death.

"What happened Chris?" I stuttered

"Just come quick"

I cut the call and stood hurriedly from the dinner table that I was sitting on with my client.

"I've got to go tom" I tossed his money back at him and left the restaurant in a hurry.

I rushed to the hospital, my heart thumped fast, I prayed silently everything was fine, I hoped it was nothing major.

As I reached my whole life seemed shattered, I came to know Ameera was seriously injured as a car had bumped into the sidewalk, knocking christie off and Ameera had been stuck beneath the broken car door.

I looked at my daughter who was laid on the bed, she had wires attached to her small body, she was practically using the support of wires and machines to survive on. My eyes burned with anger and tears, I hadn't suffered all these months to have my daughter to be stolen from me.

"Who's the driver?" I asked Christie

"A young girl, she was joy riding without a licence"

A young damn girl I thought to myself.

"Is she going to be arrested?"

"She was but was released quickly due to her family, they bailed her"

My anger grew more, my eyes were fierce, I turned my face to christie, "Whats the address?"

"xyz..."

"Keep an eye for Ameera, and call me as soon as they come up with something" I hurriedly said, no matter what happened that girl wasn't escaping from my hands, I was living in hell for my daughter these years, I wasn't about to lose her without a fight, I will fight for her, I wanted that girl taught a lesson. Life wasn't easy. I called the police whilst I was on my way there.

I reached the given address and saw why this girl had it easy, her family was filthy rich, this wasn't a house but a mansion. I barged inside seeing the doors open, I wasn't going to wait for the police to come, I entered and saw a young girl pacing the room with worry, a man sat on the sofa and an elderly woman with a worried look.

I walked towards her without a damn about anyone present, she looked at me in confusion, the elderly woman stood along with the man.

"My daughter is lying in hospital, on a life support machine, she's using wires to breathe" I said in a hoarse tone since I lost my voice remembering her small body just laying on the bed.

The woman gasped, holding her heart and the man held onto her, I didn't care, my eyes fixed on the girl before me, she was terrified and nervous. She looked a few years younger than me, about 17/ 18 yrs old.

"Look..." she pointed her forefinger at my face, stuttering "you've got the wrong person"

Had she not stuttered I may have believed her for a while.

"You got away with leaving a little life to fighting for her life" I walked towards her making her move back.

"How could you? How could you do that to a baby?" I shouted grabbing her by her forearms, shaking her.

"She's fighting for her life! My daughter is fighting to breathe" I pushed her back, my tears cascading my cheeks.

I turned to the woman and the man, "How could you bail her?"  I bit out

"Look, just leave" the man said

"Not till she's arrested, police are on there way".

"Bro please do something, my life's going to be ruined" She muttered, her eyes wet with tears, I could've sympathised but not while my daughter was suffering.

I heard the padding of feet entering the room and turned to see the police, "I want her arrested, I would like to file a report against her"

"yes maam" the policewoman said, the policeman arrested her after taking in my report.

 "no.. no please... dont... please its an accident" she screamed crying, the woman and the man went behind trying to speak with the police.

I got into my car and drove back to the hospital, I entered, christie informed no change had come in Ameera.

I sat on the chair beside her bed, her face was pale, she had marks of dry blood on her lips, her arms had scratches, her face had a long scratch from her cheek to her chin, I wondered what she might've felt at that moment. I felt guilty inside, she would've wanted me at that time but I wasn't there. My heart ached with the pain of seeing her in this state, if anything happened to Ameera I was going to die for sure, I was living only for her, I was living hell for her just to make sure she was being fed and clothed properly. My years of hell would have no meaning if something happened to her.

I was going to kill that girl if anything happened to Ameera.

"geet" I turned to see christie stood there,

"hmm?" I asked her uninterested.

"the girl's family is here to see you"

I nodded and asked her to watch Ameera while i dealt with the family.

As I walked out, I froze on the spot seeing the same familiar face, It was Maan.

He was stood there, in just as much shock as me.

I hadn't seen him for a month now since that night, he did call me to ask whether I wanted to go out but I refused scared. I was scared of building any kind of relationship with anyone, Let alone him.

The woman walked to me and pleaded with her hands folded.

"please bete, report vapas le lo, meri annie ki zindagi kharab ho jayegi" My eyes were fixed on maan, I looked whether he said anything.

I stepped away from the woman looking away from him. "please leave.." I said in a cold tone indicating that there were going to be no discussion about of me withdrawing my report.

"Dadima chaliye" Maan pulled her back.

"Maan annie ke zindagi ka sawaal hai"

 she turned her head to me and pleaded "please bete mere bacchi ke zindagi ka sawaal hai"

"Aur yeh meri bacchi ki zindagi ka sawaal hai, aapki bacchi hospital mein nahi hai, uski saans ke liye woh ladh nahi rahi hai, lekin meri bacchi uske har ek saans ke liye woh ladh rahi hai, ek pal ke zindagi ke liye woh ladh rahi hai agar aap mere jagah hote kya aap report wapas le lete" I asked her.

She stopped, stood to her place, I looked at her, pity covered her face, I ignored these moments of pity will go away as soon as she'll realise I wasn't going to allow her granddaughter live peacefully, that girl wasn't going to be released so easily.

I never let my husband go when he threatened my daughter so what was this girl?

"Please leave"

"Dev dadima ko leke ghar jao" Maan said, the woman and the man walked away leaving only me and maan stood out in the corridor.

"Geet I'm truly sorry"

I didn't say anything and walked back to the room where Ameera lay.

please like and comment.. Smile



Edited by ...Tanya-K... - 22 August 2013 at 1:53pm

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Goldie

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Joined: 19 July 2011

Posts: 1894

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:06pm | IP Logged
Continued 

Maan

 

I was taken aback when I came to know Geet was the mother, I realised she'd been avoiding me the past few weeks but why? This was her job right? I knew I liked her a little, because since that night I couldn't see myself sleeping with other girls. I was sexually frustrated and pissed off. It was the night at the club when I lashed out I realised I liked Geet.

 

Today when I came to know she's a mother, I wondered why she'd do this work when she was a mother. I wanted to know more about her. What could've caused her to choose this job? I knew there couldn't be anything I could say that will lessen her pain but I had to apologise for Annie. Annie was at fault but she was my sister so I'd have to think of something to make sure dadima isn't hurt and neither Geet. Her daughter deserved justice for what happened? but annie herself was a child.

I was torn between the right and wrong. I had to think of something wise that will be accepted by geet and dadima.

 

Geet

 

I looked at my daughter lying there, I wanted her up and moving about, I wanted her naughty self, I wanted her to pester me to no end, I wanted her to hold me possessively just like she does when she sleeps near me, I wanted her to scream and be stubborn when I refuse to give into her silent demands. I wanted my Ameera awake.

 

The girl before me isn't her, she isn't my Ameera.

This isn't my Ameera.

 

A tear slipped out my eye as I looked at her, I remembered her laughter before she'd left in the morning.

 

Flashback

 

"Amy..." I scolded seeing her throw her little baby biscuit away, she was covered in little wet and mushy pieces of the baby biscuits. Her hands covered and her mouth was covered with her mush and saliva.

 

I frowned at her, giving her a glare but my daughter only laughed at my face, slapping her dirty palms together only to splatter bits of her mush everywhere.

 

"Ewww..." I scrunched my nose playfully as I picked her up from her high chair taking her to the sink to wash her hands and face.

"What did my baby do?" I asked as I carried her near to the sink.

 

She seemed to think then showed her hands to me.

 

"Thats dirty" I commented as I turned the tap and proceeded to clean her.

 

She ignored and tried to grab the water in her hands as it were a solid object. She circled her palms around the flowing line of water then clasped them, she splashed the water in anger seeing it wasn't in her palm.

 

"Ameera... Stop..." I washed her as quick as I could since she was getting wet and making me wet.

 

I placed her on my hip, grabbing a towel I wiped at her damp hands and face.

 

"Ameera naughty girl" I said as i dried her.

 

She smiled cheekily, her smile warmed my heart, I blew rasberrys on her cheek, she laughed loudly as it tickled her very much.

 

Present.

 

And that was the last time I heard her laughter, when will I be able to hear it again?

Would I be able to hear it again? She lay there quite, her small chest only heaved as she took small breaths.

 

I heard a knock at the door, I was didn't want to move from her side, I ignored the knock, then i'd heard the door open slightly, I turned my head to see Maan poking his head in.

 

"Can I speak to you?" He asked me, he was tentative.

 

I nodded and stood up, walking towards him, he opened the door for me and waited just outside the room.

 

"What do you want Maan?"

 

"Geet I know what Annie did was absolutely wrong, and she deserves to be punished but."

 

"Stop!" I interrupted, If he thought I'd forgive her and take back my report then he was wrong. Totally Wrong!!!

"Dont even think about asking me to take my report back"

 

"Geet I'm not asking you to but please be a little lenient, she's still a child"

 

My anger grew beyond limits, how dare he say an 18yr old is a child, I was married off and pregnant when I was 18yrs old.

How could he even expect me to be lenient to her.

 

"A child?" I bit out angrily.

 

Maan tried to speak but I held my hand up stopping him instead I grabbed his hand, pushing the door open I stormed towards the side of my daughter's bed where she lay, I stopped, letting his hand go.

 

"You call your sister a child then what do you call her?" I questioned pointing at my daughter.

 

Maan just looked at Ameera, no words came out.

 

"Tell Me!" I asked wiping away my tears angrily.

 

"What do you call her Maan? what do you call a baby who is only one? she's only one Maan and how old is your sister?" I asked, sarcasm in my last question.

 

Maan looked away, "Im sorry Geet. I didn't know, I honestly had not thought it was this serious, I was thinking a few scratches"

 

"Leave!"

 

"Geet I.."

 

"I said Leave... or else I'd have you arrested for harassing me"

 

Maan walked away, his head bent down, his eyes casted down to the floor, as he reached the door, I spoke up once again.

 

"Maan"

 

He stopped and turned to face me, but I had my face to my daughter, I continued.

 

"You can fight me in court all you want to save your sister, I will get London's biggest lawyer if I have to, to get her a sentence, and IF anything happens to Ameera.." I paused and turned my head to face him. "If anything happens at all I Will Kill Your Sister With My Own Bare Hands"

 

I saw shock cover his face, he knew deep down I meant it, and I did, if anything happened to her I will seriously kill her, I only lived for my daughter, just for her sake I was living in hell, if she's not here then what was the point of my life, what was the point of going through years of hell. I lived for Ameera, only for her.

 

Maan

 

I seriously had not thought her daughter would be serious to that extent.

God! what had annie done?

Now even I can't help Annie, it was a child involved. A seriously injured child.

Her daughter is only 1 yrs old. Damn..

I couldn't face geet, how could I? How could I expect her to be lenient? Seeing her daughter I could feel the pain of seeing an innocent child who'd been hurt. But I wouldn't be able to understand Geet's pain. She was a mother. A mother of an innocent child who'd been injured severely.

The promise she'd given, seeing her eyes I knew instantly Geet meant it, she really will go to any extent, and I can't blame her at all, she was a mother.

I dreaded going home and telling dadima the news. I didn't want to break it to dadima that I can't do anything to free Annie.

 

***

I held her tiny hand in mine, I wanted just one, just one movement from her, why wasn't she moving, just once.

 

"Ameera move for mama, wake up baby, mama's here, please wake up baby" I whimpered, caressing her cheek, I wanted her to wake up. I wanted to take her in my embrace, hide her away from the world, but she was too fragile, too fragile. I blanketed her from everything then how could she have been harmed like this? Just thinking about that girl made my blood boil, knowing she was still alive pained me, a part of me wanted to go and get revenge, I wanted to run her over by a car, have her go through what Ameera had been through, I wanted her to feel what my daughter felt.

 

I heard my phone go off, reluctantly I picked it up.

 

"hello"

"Geet its me, I heard about your daughter, I'm sorry"

"Its ok Sarah" I answered.

"Is she alright?"

"No, Doctors can't say anything till 24hrs has passed"

"Oh... didn't they say anything at all?"

"Nope"

"Alright then you take care, do you want me to bring anything?"
"no, thanks anyway"

"dont be silly, call me if you need anything at all"

"Sarah" I called as she was about to cut off

"Yeah?"

"Can you please find me a good Lawyer"

"Lawyer?"

"yeah, A good one, I filed a case against the driver, so if the family fight it, its going to go to court"

"I'll contact a few people then I'll let you know"

"Thanks"

"Your welcome"

 

I cut the call, taking a deep breath, I sat on the chair beside Ameera, gazing at her I remembered the times I spent with Ameera. My mind reeled from the time she was born to this morning. Her cheeky laughter echoed in my ears, her self gurgling, her hiding from me when it was time to eat.

Was I a bad person? Had I been a good daughter my father may not have left me, my mother would have still loved me, she wouldn't have resented me, if I had been a good wife then maybe my husband might not have wounded me so deeply, he wouldn't have seeked another woman's warmth, had I been a good mother I would've been with Ameera today, I wouldn't have left her with her nanny and go out to lunch with a damn stranger.

 

My eyes burned, I was a bad person, which woman in the world has sex just for money my mind screamed at me.

 

"But I'm helpless", I muttered softly, "I'm helpless"

 

***

 

"Mama" I heard a soft cry, I turned in all directions, I couldn't see anything but white, though I could hear the cry, a cry of a child.

"Mama" she cried once again, I turned to see something but nothing came to view, It was all white, not one bit of darkness nor colour. Who's the child? And why was she crying?

"Mama" I saw an image flashing, it was Ameera, my Ameera under the car crying for me.

 

I jerked up, panting heavily I looked at Ameera who was still in the same position as yesterday, I sighed relieved that was just a dream, it was a dream I told myself.

I rubbed my face, closing my eyes I cried, I couldn't help but cry, it was of pain, angst and frustration. I can't do anything, anything at all to take Ameera's pain, I feared losing her, why isn't there anything I can do to save her.

 

I walked into the washroom and washed my face with cold water, I looked at my face in the mirror,  I was pale as a ghost, my eyes had dark bags, both my irises had patches of redness which clearly indicated lack of sleep.

 

I felt a  burning warm sensation in my throat, I lunged my head forward into the sink and vomited, I could hear a woman come from behind supporting me, she held my hair back and rubbing my back. I gargled water to get rid of the bitter taste in my mouth, then washed my face with cool water.

 

"Are you ok?" the woman asked, looking at her I saw she was a nurse.

 

"Yes, thank you"

"Have you ate anything yet?"

 

I nodded no, she was helping me walk out the washroom, when once again I felt sick, I covered my mouth and lunged for the sink once again.

 

I waited near the sink for a while after vomiting the second time, incase I be sick again, the nurse waited with me.

 

"I think you should see the doctor" She advised.

 

"No thanks, I'm fine"

 

"Being a nurse I can only say that this morning sickness indicates pregnancy"

 

I gulped and looked straight at her, my eyes filled with pure fear and shock, No I cant be pregnant, I told myself, I cant. I was always careful, I always took the pill, and always made sure all of my clients used protection.

 

All But One... Maan Singh Khurana.

 

No! I can't be, I denied. I just can't.

 

I looked at the nurse, composing myself I straightened up.

 

"I'm fine, its nothing of the sort" I told her, she looked sceptical then turned away and walked back to the room, I followed after her.

 

I sat on the chair whilst she checked Ameera and then the machines, I wasn't paying attention, I mentally fought with myself, A part of me wanted to take a test but another part told me it was impossible, but also a part of me feared, feared the results.

 

I was jerked back out of my thoughts hearing Sarah and Christie come in, they both looked at me with sympathy. I noticed the nurse had left.

Sarah walked over and gave me one of her motherly hugs, I smiled at her.

 

"How is she?" she asked

"They aren't saying anything till 24hrs pass"

She scowled, "Damn these doctors"

"hmm" I hummed, I turned to Christie, "How are you?"

"I'm fine don't worry about me"

"Have you been hurt?" I asked

"Not as much as Ameera" she muttered.

I nodded, then looked at Ameera who was still in pretty much the same position as the last 16hrs.

 

"I've cancelled all your clients this week" Sarah spoke, I panicked for a while because Christie didn't know what I was doing, and if she knew I feared her judgement. No one knew what I do except my clients and Sarah. But not all them know that I was a mother.

As Ameera's nanny, Christie had become a friend, after Lisa she'd become close to me.

"I know what you do Geet" I heard Christie say, I turned I wonder if she judged me, my heart throbbed anticipating someone else to judge me.

"I understand why you do it, Sarah told me"

 

I looked away, a part of me ashamed to meet her eyes, my eyes were stinging with my unshed tears, but before I could start crying I felt the bloated feeling, I rushed to the washroom covering my mouth with my palm.

Sarah and Christie followed after me, both helped me.

 

***

 

"But thats impossible" Sarah spoke as I told her what the nurse said, I looked at her, "You hadn't slept with anyone for the last month, I booked your appointments, it was all for dinner dates"

I nodded, I knew, Of course I knew, I just hoped she didn't join any dots.

"But you had that last client" she paused, "What was his name?"

"I don't know" I answered too quickly

"Geet" She called my name tentatively.

I didn't meet her eyes, "I'm not pregnant!" I stated with finality.

No one spoke after that.

 

***

 

"Aaarrrggghhh" I screamed, lashing out in my living room, I broke each and everything in the room, No this wasn't possible, It wasn't, No! My mind screamed.

I fell to the floor and hugged my knees, I sobbed violently, Its not, its not possible.

I can't, I can't simply do it.

 

But It Wasn't A Choice. It was Only For My Daughter.

 

Here I was the next day to meet him, to meet the man whom I thought I had got rid of. I was meeting My Husband once again.

Yes! For the sake of my daughter I had to meet him, I needed his blood, Ameera was in need of blood, and my blood didn't match the type that was needed, and in the damn hospital they didn't have enough.

 

I was escorted to the private visiting room with my lawyer beside me, As I entered I saw his eyes. They had a glint of satisfaction, and smirk tugged at his lips.

 

"Wow! you look so..." He started as I entered, "Ravishing you could say"

"Mr Singhania! We are simply here to talk to you about your daughter" My lawyer spoke for me.

"Is she still alive?" He scoffed,

I wanted to punch him at that moment, I looked away in disgust.

"Ameera's in hospital, she needs blood" I muttered, I wondered was there any point to this.

He nodded but with arrogance. "You need me Geet, admit it"

I lost the little patience I held within me, I stood up to my feet, I wasn't going to let him win this time, "No.." I shouted at him.

"Mrs singhania" My lawyer said, but I wasn't going to succumb to him again, I can't and I won't. He'd tortured me enough, and that was it, I wasn't going to let him succeed.

 

"You Know I thought you might change after all this time, but you are still a bas***d!" I told him, He stood to his feet in anger, the policemen stood right behind him reminding him if he lashed out then he was going back to the cell.

 

I walked out with my lawyer. 

"You need him Mrs singhania"

"No I Don't!"

"For your daughter"

I stopped, "No! Because you will get a court order, and that means he's got no choice but to give his blood"

"It will take a few days"

"I'll pay you anything please, Look Jack I need it as soon as, its my daughter, and I could've pleaded my own husband but then that will mean he'll always one over me"

He nodded understanding, "I'll contact a few people"

I thanked him and left.

 

***

 

I entered the hospital as soon as I reached back, I walked through the door as fast as feet was taking me, I hadn't seen Ameera for the last couple of hours, I needed to see her.

 

I stopped in my tracks seeing Maan's grandma. I seriously didn't need this. I wasn't going to listen hence I walked past but stopped as she held my hand.

 

"bete humare baat suniye"

I turned to meet her eyes, I jerked my hand off, "please leave"

"Bete yeh mere Annie ke zindagi ki sawaal hai, woh lawyer bann na chahti hai, usne kitne sapne dekhi hai, sab kuch barbaad ho jayega" she whimpered.

I didn't answer, I took out my phone and made a call.

"Get Here And Take Your Grandma!" I didn't wait for him to speak and bit out the words.

I met her eyes, "Maan is coming, Please leave!" then walked into Ameera's room.

 

Maan

 

I was surprised when I saw Geet had called, I answered only to hear her bite out to come get dadima. I was damn angry not at Geet but dadima, I told her the seriousness of Geet's daughter, but it seemed she didn't see anyone passed Annie.

I left the office and drove as fast as I could to get to hospital.

 

"Dadima chaliye yahan se" I reached her and tried to take her, but she was being adamant.

"Nahi, hum yahan se nahi jayenge Maan jab tak woh report wapas nahi leti"

"Dadi.." I started then I heard someone shout then two nurses rushed into the room, I wondered had anything happened, but was stunned when they brought Geet out in a stretcher, she was taken into another room, I followed unconsciously, what happened to her? A part of me worried.

 

I stopped a passing nurse, "What happened to Geet?"
"We don't know yet sir, she just fainted"

I nodded, dadima followed me.

"Maan"

"Dadima chaliye" I turned and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Nahi, Maan chodiye" she pushed me away and stood to her place.

"Dadima!" I bit out.

"Bas, hum nahi jayenge"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes frustrated. Damn woman!

She just took a seat on the chairs, and crossed her arms, I knew she waiting for Geet to appear again.

"Dadima, pehle toh uski beti bemaar hai ab woh bhi bemaar hai aur aap hai ke uske mushkil aur badha rahe hai"

"Main apni bacchi ke liye kuch bhi kar sakti hoon"

"Annie ne jo kiya woh maafi ke layek bhi nahi hai"
"Maan! Woh aapki behan hai"

"Jaanta hoon, agar woh meri beti ho ti na usse zinda ghar deti" I stated, Dadima's eyes widened, she knew I meant it, For Annie's joy it was a life that hanging in the balance.

I took a seat next to dadi, I held her hand and pressed it, "Dadima samjhne ki koshish kijiye, Geet par kya beet rahi hai, zara sochiye, woh ek maa hai aur woh bhi ek saal ki bacchi ke"

Dadima looked down, she was finally understanding a little, before I could proceed the same nurse whom I asked about Geet came to me.

"Sir"

"Yes?" I looked at her a little confused, why had she come to me?

"Congratulations Mrs Singhania is pregnant"

I heard the words, I was shocked, damn shocked, this news knocked the breath out of me.

But a question nagged me, "Who's the father?"

 

***

I heard the nurse tell me I was pregnant, I denied having a test all these days because I lived on everyday denying that there was a chance for me to get pregnant. The  words rung in my ears, as if I hadn't had a plate full of problems already.

I couldn't bring another child to my life, not to the life I was living.

I looked at the door and saw Sarah rush over to me.

 

"What happened? the nurse called me and told me you fainted"

"I'm pregnant" I whispered out, my voice failing me.

"What? but How? you said.."

"Yes I know" I snapped, "I know what I said" I knew what I told them that day, that I'm not pregnant and I can't be.

"I'm sorry Geet, its just a complete shock"

I looked away from her, it was damn shock to me.

"how many weeks?" she asked

"A month"

"Who is he?" she asked, with her tone I guessed she knew that I know who the father is.

"No one!"
"I can always check the diary you know" She told me reminding me that she has all my clients names and the dates I met them on.

She pressed my hand to comfort me, "Who is he?"

"Maan Singh Khurana" I stated, then turned my head hearing a gasp, And I saw him look straight at me.

 

"Maan" I whispered...

 

***

"I'll leave you two alone" Sarah spoke up.

"Its ok Sarah, there's nothing to discuss" I said, I wasn't going to discuss about this, there wasn't anything to discuss here, " I'm going to see Ameera" I got out of the bed and fixed my clothes,

"Geet I think you need to rest" Sarah spoke.

"No.. I'm fine" I walked by passing Maan, he looked at me, as I passed he held my wrist stopping me.

"Just 5 minutes, I need to speak to you" he told me.

"Fine but not now, I want to be near Ameera" I told him wanting to delay this '5minutes' as much as possible, a part of me was worried, I didn't know what he would say.

I walked away, lost in my own thoughts, there was a baby growing inside of me, another Ameera cocooning in my womb once again. My heart bled as I knew what I decision I was going to take, I couldn't have this baby, as much as I loved babies, I wasn't lucky for another child, my destiny wasn't for another child, I couldn't ruin another innocent life, if I brought this child to this world, the child will suffer in the long run and I didn't want that, my Ameera was going through it and I didn't want another innocent life going through it. I was living in guilt everyday already worrying about Ameera's future because of me her future could be tarnished.

 

Maan


Geet was pregnant and that too my child, I was shocked, even that seemed like an understatement, I couldn't describe how I felt, I was confused, utterly clueless and totally gobsmacked. That was my reaction when I heard. I told her I wanted 5 minutes, I needed to know how. How could she be so sure that I'm the father? What will I tell dadima? and what will be her reaction when she finds out Geet is an Escort. One thing I knew was if this is my child then I want the heir brought to this world.

 

Geet

 

I sat on the chair beside her bedside, numb to my surroundings, Ameera was critical and she needed blood, I waited for Jack to call me, I wanted to know whether he was able to get the court order.

I prayed silently hoping each second that my Ameera overcomes this, I felt like a failure, my daughter was hanging between life and death and I could only watch. There wasn't anything I could do at all. Nothing!

Why is there no hope on the other side for me?Why did it seem all door were closing for me? Nothing in my life seemed to have any shades of colour except grey. My Ameera was my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but now.. Why did everyone I seemed to love end up leaving me. My father left me, my mother turned away from me, My husband detested me, and now my daughter. No My Ameera can't leave, I won't let her, I was living this life just for her.

 

My hand reached and held her little hand very carefully, I was scared, scared to hurt her,

"Ameera.." I whispered bending my upper body to near her face. "Ameera wake up baby, wake up for mama..." My voice hoarse and choked with the sobs. I sniffed, kissing her little fingers very lightly, "baby if you wake up for mama I promise to be there for you all the time, I know mama was being bad but I promise, I promise to be with you all the time" I promised her, A part of me just wanted to shake her awake, order her to wake up.

I caressed her temple with my fingers, lightly grazing her soft skin, "Baby please wake up, Ameera wake up for mama pleasee" I pleaded, tears cascaded, whilst sobs choked in my throat.

 

I stood to my feet and rushed to the washroom, crying endlessly, I washed my face wanting my tears to stop but it was useless, I couldn't stop crying.

I rubbed my face with my palms, swiping at my cheeks.

I fell to my knees on the floor, "Please... please wake up" I pleaded.

 

"Geet" Sarah rushed to my side, she took me in her embrace rubbing my back.

"tell.. tell her to wake up please... sarah tell her please.. she likes you, she'll listen to you"

Sarah closed her eyes, she muttered words of comfort unfortunately they didn't ease me, I wanted Ameera to respond once, even if she moves one finger that will satisfy me and give me hope because my hope was dying each day.

 

"Shh.. crying won't solve anything.. you need to be strong" she muttered as she tried to calm me.

How could I possibly stay strong, How? What hope have I got? Which thread of hope am I hanging on to. There was no good news about Ameera all there was she's critical and she needed blood. Nobody could assure me that nothing will happen to her.

 

***

 

It'd been 3days since I found out I was pregnant and met my husband. And these days I delayed my 5 minutes with Maan, I didn't want to speak to him, I was booked in for a private appointment with a doctor, I was going to meet him after my appointment not before. As for Ameera the doctors were doing their best, they did ask other hospitals but the blood group was too rare, the stock in the others were less as well and it was needed, Ameera was still battling for her life, and me, what could I say? I was sat, numb and still as a vegetable. Each day I felt a part of me torn away, I felt incomplete for some reason, I had the hollow feeling in my heart which only grew deeper.

My phone rang breaking me from my trance.

"Hello" I answered my phone,

"Geet its me, Jack"

"Have you got the court order?" I asked hurriedly hoping he had.

"Yes, they're going to bring him this afternoon"

I sighed with relief, thanking God a million times, I didn't care that I was going to face my husband all I cared was for the health of Ameera.

 

***

 

He entered with 3 policemen escorting him, I stood there with Jack and Sarah by my side, he was angry for sure, his face said it all, for the first time seeing his anger a satisfaction filled my heart, the fact I displeased him made me smile inwardly, I could say that I had one over him today. The daughter he wanted to kill, the daughter he mocked asking whether she was alive or not, he was going to give blood to that very daughter to save her himself.

 

I waited patiently outside, my eyes welled, maybe there was hope, even if its a little, there was hope. He stepped out with the officers by his side, then the doctor with the nurse. I stood to my feet, my heart racing rapidly.

"It matched, we've done it, we just have to monitor Ameera for 12hrs now, if everything goes well she'd gain consciousness for sure" The doctor announced, I felt as if my heart leaped out, she was going to be fine, my baby was going to be fine.

"She's going to be fine, my baby's going to be fine sarah" I muttered, hugging her with joy and happiness, my eyes filled with tears of happiness, yes there were filled with tears of happiness.

 

"Smile all you want Geet, it won't be lasting long" He spoke, I turned to meet his eyes, a smile tugged at my lips.

"Mine will last Mr Singhania, yours however faded the day I had you arrested" I retorted back.

He glared angrily, his eyes filled with fury, he clenched his fists at the side.

"Officers you can take him back" Jack told them, he was escorted back, back to where he belongs, the small 4 by 4 isolated cell.

I smiled as he left, my happiness knew no bounds today, my baby was going to be fine. Just another 12hrs... Only 12hrs I told myself.

 

I closed my eyes, silently thanking God over and over again, He saved My ameera, I couldn't thank Him enough, my eyes burned beneath my lids as I recalled the doctor's words. My daughter was going to be fine, she'll be fine.

 

*****

 

"Daddy... stop.. stop daddy!!!" I screamed as I ran behind him, mommy laughed from behind as she watched me run after daddy, he laughed as he ran.

I stopped, pouting and crossed my arms across my chest. He stopped in his place, resting his hands on his hips he said, "What's wrong?"

"you don't let me catch you" I answered pouting.

He walked over, pinching my cheeks, "But you said you wanted to play tag" he answered back.

 

"Yeah but I'm your baby na? so you should let me win" I reasoned.

"Hmm.. ok"

I flashed my teeth grinning happily, "daddy will you always let me win?" I asked innocently.

"Anything for you, My Geet will always win, in every moment of your life you'll be the winner, and daddy will let you win and be by your side always. Remember Geet every daddy loves their child and will do anything for that baby".

 

"Geet!" Christie shook me, I jerked my head off the bed of Ameera's side, raking a hand through my hair I looked around, confused, why did I see my father and why did his words seem like they mean something.

 

Could my father be right? every father loves their child? But... I've seen living evidence, my husband doesn't love my child, he doesn't love my Ameera and he is her own father.

I touched my stomach, there was another child nestled there, I would love that baby just like I love Ameera but what about Maan? If I kept this baby Would he love it, or detest it just like my husband? How will I survive if I kept the baby? How can I feed another mouth? No I can't destroy another life. At times I wished I never had Ameera, then her life wouldn't have been like this, she wouldn't have suffered in the long run.

 

"Geet"

I turned to see Christie sat on the little sofa situated in the corner.

"You wanna go home and freshen up? I'll be by her side till then"

"yeah, call me if you hear anything and if Ameera wakes up before I come back call me immediately please"

"Sure"

 

I glanced at Ameera one last time before I left the room, my mind occupied with Ameera and the upcoming appointment which I had made, tomorrow I was going to abort this baby. I had to, I can't let it suffer.

 

I arrived at my apartment, as I was unlocking my door, I heard footsteps behind me, turning around I saw Maan.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"I need to talk to you Geet" He told me softly.

 

I nodded, I think it was right only to tell him my decision, he followed me inside as I entered.

"Take a seat" I told him as I placed my keys on the tea table and took a seat on the sofa myself.

"We need to discuss about the baby" He told me, meeting my eyes.

"What about the baby Maan?" I asked firmly, I was curious to know what he wanted.

"I want my child Geet"

I sucked in a deep breath, I hadn't been prepared for that, Knowing him for some time now I  had thought he liked to enjoy his life, he didn't seem like a guy who liked responsibilities of someone, business was a different thing altogether.

"Geet"

"I can't have the baby" I told him, I wasn't going to go round bushes.

"What do you mean?" He stood to his feet, his eyes which were soft had turned cold and seethed with anger.

I stood and looked directly at him with the same attitude, "I won't have this baby!"

"You want to abort it"

"You heard me!"

"Geet its your child as well" he bit out

"I don't want this baby! I can't have it" I shouted

"Why?" He asked me.

I couldn't answer him, what could I say? What could I possibly say to him, no one knew my reason.

"Answer me Geet"

"Just leave please"

"You've got no damn reason! How can you even think about aborting Geet, You're a mother yourself, that child is a part of you just like daughter, If you didn't want a baby then why didn't you abort your daughter as well?" "I WOULD'VE... IWOULD'VE ABORTED MY DAUGHTER IF I KNEW" I screamed, my filled up eyes started watering, Did he think I wanted to abort this child just for my fun, he was the same as everyone else, judging me before he even knows the damn reason.

"What do you mean?" He asked me after a while.

"Get out!" I ignored his question and told him to leave.

"Look Geet I want this child"

I looked away wiping away at my tears angrily, I wanted to stop crying but my emotions didn't support me as well.

"Please let talk about this" He asked me softly.

I walked away to my room and slammed the door closed leaving him to stand there, I was angry, frustrated and tired, I slid down to the floor, hugging my knees I sobbed.

 

Maan

 

I wanted to know what Geet meant, why she said that she would've aborted her child. Have I thought wrong? When she said she didn't want the baby my first thought was she wanted to abort it for her job. I want to know what she meant, I need to know. I felt really bad hearing her sobs from outside the room, I wished I could comfort her but she wouldn't allow me to talk to her even since I made her cry. I closed my eyes wishing I could take back my words.

I walked till her room.

"Geet" I called out hoping she'd talk to me.

"Leave me alone" She shouted from the other side.

"Geet  I.. I'm sorry"

"Just leave me alone"

I sat on the floor instead, I wasn't going to leave, I needed her to know my stance in this, and I hoped she'd tell me hers.

"Geet I want this child" I started, my throat felt choked. "Geet I lost my first child because I didn't fight for it when my ex wife didn't want that child, and since she aborted that baby I felt guilty, and I've been living with guilt, but maybe this baby will help me recover from guilt". I explained to her, I remembered when my ex wife aborted our child behind my back and there wasn't anything I could do, but I wanted this baby.


Geet


This baby may help him recover from his guilt but it'll only increase mine, I did feel a little sympathy for him as I heard his part, we're both pretty much in similar boats, we both had f**ked up partners and both of us are living with guilt.

Having this baby will mean he recovers from guilt and deepens my guilt because I'm going to ruin another innocent life.

"My life isn't a bed of roses Geet as they mention in the media, I've had many thorns in my way to get where I am" he told me, "Please Geet I can't live with guilt"

I wiped away my tears, standing to my feet I opened the door to him, I looked down at him since he was sat on the floor.

He stood up and looked directly at me, I moved away from the door letting him in, we both then settled on each end of the bed since that was the only furniture we could sit on.

"I can't have it Maan" I started softly, he was about to speak till I stopped him, "Let me finish" I told him.

"you don't have any clue about my life" I paused, my eyes already burning with the sensation of tears, "I became an escort to survive, I had no options left in my life but this, this very line of work will have an effect on Ameera in the long run, she'll be ashamed to have me as her mother, who'd want a mother who sleeps with any guy who offers money".

"Geet you're doing it survive" he told, I wish it reassured me but it didn't.

"that's not how the world will see it, Ameera wouldn't see it like that, she will blame me when the world looks down at her, people will be cursing her when they come to know she's the daughter of an escort. Escorts are looked down on, no matter what their reason may be they are always looked down on" I told him, it was the truth of this world, it was a truth that wouldn't ever change, it was just in our nature.

"Having this baby will mean to suffer in the future, I don't want another child ruined"

He kept quiet, I gave him the reason that I didn't want this baby, all I hoped he understood my perspective.

"Marry me" he blurted out.

 

Maan

 

Hearing that she became an Escort for her daughter touched me, I've never met anyone who could be as selfless as Geet, I liked her I knew that, the admiration I had for her increased, I wish my ex wife had even one quality of Geet's. But despite hearing her reason I still wanted the baby and I could do anything, anything at all so I blurt whatever came to my mind.

 

Geet

 

I looked at him shocked from hearing the words, "What?"

"Geet you won't need this job then, I'll provide for you, Ameera and the baby" he told me, moving closer, he held onto my hands.

I pulled my hands out of his grasp, "No"

"Geet, you didn't want this baby because of your job"

"No I didn't want it so that it doesn't suffer like me and Ameera"

"Ok..." he paused, "Geet just think, Ameera won't suffer in the long run, she would never say she's ashamed of you, she'll be living a respectable life if you and I get married".

"If this so called heroic action is to save your sister from prison you can forget it"

"This isn't about Annie, its about our baby"

"Its not Our.. Its yours and mine there's no such thing as Our"

"Fine.. Geet give it a thought, we're both not going to commit so whats the problem?"

"How will you answer to your grandma, to your family to your friends?" I asked, he became quiet, I knew he hadn't given that a thought. "Tell me Maan, How will you answer a person if they came to you and mentioned that they've f**ked me? How will you stop people from talking?"

I didn't get a response, "Now you go and give everything a thought"

 

Maan

 

I didn't give a thought, how will I answer dadima if she ever comes to know Geet was an Escort, how will I answer. I stood to my feet, I needed time to think everything through, but before I left I looked at Geet.

"Please don't abort it, not yet at least" I told her, I could only hope she doesn't, then I walked away.

 

***

 

I rushed to the hospital as fast as I could, Maan had taken a lot of my time, after he left I jumped under the shower and freshened up as quickly as I could. I wondered If Ameera had woken up yet, I wished she had.

"Hey" I entered and saw Christie sat beside Ameera who lay in the same position.

"hey..."

"Any news?"

"Drs have said her heart pulse has returned to normal so has her breathing rate"

I sighed in relief, I took a seat, kissing my two fingers I placed them on Ameera's cheeks.

 

***

 

I heard a small whimper and jerked my head to Ameera, her eyelids batted a few times before she opened her eyes, her little palm moved up to rub her eyes, seeing her move after one whole week my heart dropped to my stomach, she'd woken up finally, my daughter had finally woken up. How could I explain my happiness, I felt as If I'd reached the 7th heaven.

"Ameera" I muttered and moved to her, Christie went to call the dr, I held onto her little fingers while I showered her face with kisses, she smiled brightly at me. The overwhelming sensation surged to each and every vein inside me.

The doctor entered, I was asked to move back till they check upon her, I wanted to protest but she needed to be checked, I watched her eyes wander to both the doctors one after the other, my eyes wouldn't move off her face, I watched her curious little almond eyes as they kept rolling from one side to the other. My baby was back...

 

***

 

I carried Ameera in my arms, she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck as I walked up going to my apartment. We were given the green signal today by the doctors, I was finally bringing my daughter home. I unlocked my door and entered inside, she picked her head up from my shoulder and looked around.

"we're home baby" I whispered kissing her cheek, she looked so curious like as if it were all new to her. I settled on the sofa with her, then slowly took her little coat off, she snuggled closer to me hugging me tighter. Once again I stood and walked with her to the kitchen to make her something to eat, she hadn't ate much these days, it was mostly fluids that she took, I grabbed her one of her dinner pots from the drawer with my free hand, turning the kettle on, I placed her on the counter, whilst I stood before her. My heart felt light, it seemed as if the burden of the last few days had been lifted off me. I played with her curls whilst talking animatedly to her, she laughed really loud, that was the laughter I was craving to hear through the entire week and finally it reached my ears.

"I love you baby" I snuggled her into my embrace pressing a kiss to her temple.

 

***

 

After I fed Ameera, I'd put her to sleep so I could have a long bath, the entire week went by with me having 10 minutes showers, I wanted to have a long bath.

Switching on her monitor in case she wakes up I made my way to my room.

Turning the tap on, I re-entered my room to grab a change of clothes and towel, I turned my head hearing the doorbell. Groaning silently I made my way to open the door.

 

I blinked, not once, not twice but a number of times seeing him stood there.

"What are you doing here?"

"can I speak to you?"

"No you can't!"

"Geet please, I went home and thought really hard about this"

"Congratulations, you want a medal for using your pea sized brain"

"that was a nice joke" he smiled.

"Maan please leave" I was tired and I really wanted to relax now not listen to his crappy solution, because for the solution that I'm in there was no solution for this, nothing. There will be no end to this, someone ends up getting hurt.

"5 minutes"

"You asked for 5 minutes last time, but you took a full 40 minutes"

"ok.. just 20 minutes of your time then"

"uff.. 20 minutes" I opened the door and let him inside.

 

"Go on" I said, wanting for him to get it over with.

He shifted uncomfortably as if nervous.

"I'm going to throttle you if you don't speak, I want to go and do a bath and relax so you've got 3 seconds to start" I threatened him.

"Ok.. Well I suggest.. suggest that we get married" he started tentatively.

"I heard that before and I said NO"

"Listen to me first"

I crossed my arms then waited for him to speak.

"We move away from here, this city and start a family unit"

I looked at him a little shocked. "what did you just say?" I asked thinking maybe I hadn't heard well.

"I want a proper family unit, and for that its best to start over Geet, dadima doesn't need to know what your profession was, i want this baby Geet, please... please don't deny this baby to me".

"Its not possible" I whispered out, my eyes filled up because he was showing me dreams that were out of my reach.

"Why? It won't be easy, but we could try, will you ever be able to live with the guilt you've killed another innocent Ameera?"

"I'll never forgive myself, but I'll be living with guilt if I brought the baby into this world"

"Geet think.. A whole new beginning, away from here, away from all the bitter memories" he paused, coming closer to me he grasped my hands in his, "please think about it"

I closed my eyes, the very dreams that my ex husband was meant to show me, a stranger was showing them to me, if I married him what guarantee did I have that he wouldn't hit me, he wouldn't abuse me, he wouldn't cheat behind me, what was guarantee was there he wouldn't resent me when he got bored. There was no guarantee, and getting myself into a marriage once again wasn't a risk that I wanted to take, I had Ameera and another baby nestled there, but Would I keep it?

"Why are you showing me dreams that might not come true?" I asked him.

"They're dreams that we can turn into a reality Geet, it won't be easy, there'll be sacrifices, compromises, a lot of hurt, obstacles, but there's a whole lot of happiness and joy on the other side as well, we've both been through a lot, and each of us know how much we went through, I think we do deserve our happiness as well"

"Why do I feel like these dreams will shatter away?"

"Its not you, but your past makes you think like that" he told me sincerely.

I looked away from him, the intensity of his eyes at times scared me, there was a depth of truth in every sentence of his. "your 20 minutes are up Maan"

He nodded and stood to his feet, before leaving he looked over his shoulder at me, "Please think about it" he muttered then walked away.

 

***

I settled in the tub, relaxing my aching body, my head arched up resting on the rim, my mind reeled over his words.  Could I really begin an entire new life, without my past lingering on, could Ameera really live the respectable life I wished for her?

Why had my life turned out like this? I questioned myself every so often. I was normal as any other girl, then why?

 

***

 

I sat in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to call my name, I had left Ameera with Christie, I touched my stomach once again, there was a baby nestled there, as a mother I should have been protecting this baby, I should've fought the world and brought the baby into this world, but I was such a mother who was ending this little innocent life for the sake of my baby's future. I was killing an innocent life, in this very womb my Ameera was cocooned once.

"Mrs Singhania" I heard the nurse call my name, I stood up and walked slowly, my eyes drifted to the pictures of baby posters hung up on the walls, my Ameera's face came to my mind, I stopped in my tracks touching my stomach, this baby was mine as well, it was equally mine just as Ameera, then how could I? I turned away from the confused nurse and ran down the corridor, not stopping at all, I ran down the stairs then out the building, I didn't stop for anything, it was pouring outside, but I didn't care, I just wanted to get back to the apartment, back to my Ameera.

 

"Geet!" I heard his voice from behind me, but I ignored and ran, wanting to get away from everything, I felt someone grip my forearm and turn me.

"Maan" I panted out, catching for my breath as I cried.

"Where are you going? pagal ho gaye ho kya?" he shouted,

I hugged him wanting some solace, "I couldn't do it.. I couldn't abort the baby, I couldn't" I cried onto his shoulders, he hugged me back, holding me tight against him. For the first time in another man's embrace I felt security, protectiveness.

 

***

 

"Geet! You ok?" Christie asked as she opened the door to me and Maan. He brought me back home, both of us were dripping wet due to the pouring rain.

I nodded and entered, maan followed.

"I'll get you some towels" Christie said as she walked away.

I slumped on the sofa, I rubbed my face with my palms, where have I reached, where was I going, there seemed no end for me, nothing, the future looked blurred.

Maan sat beside me, he held on to my hand, maybe to comfort me but that didn't help.

"i'm scared"  I muttered.

"Its going to be alright"

"no.. Nothing is going to be alright, nothing at all" I whimpered, my heart just felt heavy with the burden of everything, I had not only Ameera now but another baby as well.

"Here" Christie came back with two towels, she passed one to maan whilst she dried my hair for me.

"ma..ma" I heard Ameera call through the monitor, I was about to stand but Christie pushed me back down.

"I'll see to her" she told me and walked into the nursery.

"How old is she?" he asked me.

"15months" I answered, I wondered how I was going to survive now, my savings will last me for a few months or so but then what about the future?

I leaned back, resting my head whilst I tried my best to figure something out.

"what are you still thinking about?"

"How to survive? I can't do this job anymore since I'm pregnant"

"My offer still stands geet"

"I can't.."

"why? What's stopping you now, you've decided you want our baby now"

"Its not easy as you make it seem" I straightened on the sofa looking right at him.

"I'm not saying its going to be a cakewalk"

"I can't get married" I whispered, I feared marriage, it was once a dream for me but now its a nightmare, I can't depend on anyone, I feared losing my independence, If I depended on Maan what if he disappointed me just like my own husband did. I had 2 children to think about now, I didn't want them to suffer if we didn't keep to our promise.

"Why?"

"Marriage is a nightmare for me" I told him, he needed to know why I couldn't get married, "I lost my identity to my ex husband, I lost myself because of him, by the time I'd separated from him I didn't know who I was, I didn't have no identity left, no one knew me, not one person. I've now rebuilt myself and I'm scared.. scared I may lose myself".

He didn't say anything, I sucked in a harsh breath, "My marriage left me scarred maan, and left me and my child on the street, I don't want to go through that ever again, especially since I'm pregnant now" I touched my stomach, it seeped into me I was carrying another child.

"I will do everything in my hands to get rid of all your insecurities, I wouldn't make you regret this marriage, you'll find me by your side Geet, but we need to get married, dadima won't ever accept this child if its out of wedlock"

"Why don't you understand?"

"I'm trying Geet, I had a failed marriage myself so I understand" when he'd said that I snapped, how could he understand, he doesn't understand.

"No you don't!" I stood to my feet, "You don't understand, have you lived in fear for 2 years?" I shouted.

He didn't respond but looked at me in shock, I stopped myself just in time.

Christie came out with Ameera, she looked at the floor while she told me Ameera was hungry, I knew she'd heard everything. I took ameera off her, she quickly bid bye to me guessing I'd probably need some time alone which I was grateful for, If only Maan had left like that.

"I'll wait here" he told me.

I pressed my eyes tightly, trying to stop myself from lashing out at him, he wasn't at fault what'd happened. "Can we please talk later" I asked in a clipped tone, keeping my anger in check.

"Geet we're finishing this discussion, and that too today"

I walked into the kitchen, placing Ameera in her high chair, I'd taken a dinner pot of hers to warm. I heard his footsteps approaching, he stood by the door whilst I moved around the kitchen.

"Hello" I heard his voice, I turned to see him stood before Ameera's high chair, Ameera looked at him with her eyes lit up in delight, she loved meeting new people. She gave him her toothless grin, she clapped her hands in excitement.

"She's beautiful" he whispered.

I looked at my daughter, yes she was beautiful, no male had ever said that about my daughter, my husband detested her face and my step-father never even interacted with her.

"yeah she is" I said after some time.

"Do you know the meaning of Ameera?" he asked me.

I nodded, "yeah.. Princess"

He smiled, "I guess she's mommy's princess right?" he pinched Ameera's cheeks in a loving way. Ameera kicked her legs, grinning wide.

"thats why I named her that" I told him as I walked towards them with her dinner.

I grabbed her bib and tied it around her neck then began feeding her.

"I want us to have a stable family home" he began, I didn't answer but listened as I fed Ameera.

"I don't know what the future holds and neither do you, but Geet suppose there's a whole lot of happiness on the other end, the least we can do is give it a try, how will we know if we don't give it a try"

"I'm scared of trying Maan, all I have done all these years is tried hoping to find some happiness but all my tries have failed because I have received nothing but sorrow and misery"

"That was with others, not me, not everyone is Maan Singh Khurana"

"True not everyone has a pea sized brain as you"

He laughed, I bit my cheeks to stop but then I laughed with him.

"Ok.. I admit I ain't cleaver in family, relationship matters" he said

I nodded agreeing, Ameera had eaten so I picked her up to clean her, Maan followed behind me to the sink where I washed her hands and face.

"Will you please marry me?"

"Give me some time, I'll let you know by the end of this week"

 

***

I lay in bed with Ameera snuggled in my embrace, I thought of Maan's proposal, Ameera and the baby will have the security they'd need if I married him, and I'd never have to sell myself any more. His presence in my life was like as if he was a knight sent by God Himself.

I patted my daughter as she stirred, my fingers lightly caressed her little curly mass, I wondered if I agreed how would his family react, would they ever accept Ameera, would they accept me?

Will they accept this baby?

All these questions reeled in my mind.

 

Maan

 

I'd proposed, now all I could do was wait, when I had seen her daughter all well and fine it delighted me for some reason, Ameera looked exactly like Geet, I wondered how our baby would look, would the baby go on me or geet? I wondered if I had stopped my wife from aborting the baby, would our baby look as angelic as Ameera? Geet's selfless love for her daughter amazed me to the extent I wished I married her not my ex.

I know Geet would love this baby as much as she loved Ameera but would I? Would I be able to shower my love equally for her daughter Ameera and our child. I wondered will I be able to accept Ameera as my child. She was adorable that was true, but she isn't mine. I just hoped If Geet gives me a chance I'd hoped to conquer all my hesitations and be able to deliver my best to both children.


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Edited by ...Tanya-K... - 10 February 2013 at 7:42pm

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Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:06pm | IP Logged
Continued

I dressed Ameera in a yellow frock,  slipping on her coat, I picked her little mittens and put them on her tiny hands, and put on her shoes. Winter was here in London, typical England. We didn't even see no summer this year.

I put on her wooly hat and scarf then picked her up in my arms, I was on my way to meet Maan at the little cafe down the street.

 

I came inside the little cafe, it was more like my second home I always spent my free time here, I'd bring Ameera here whenever we wanted to go out somewhere closer to home.

 

"hi Anji" I greeted the waitress.

"Hey.. oh and hello" she coeed Ameera, pinching her button nose playfully.

Ameera scowled, slapping with her mitten covered hands.

"Oh someone's angry"

"yeah madam's angry because i'd woken her up"

"Aww.. mommy's nasty innit?"

Ameera nodded as if she'd understood.

"your usual?" Anji asked.

"yes please, oh and a separate coffee"

"ok, go and sit, I'll bring it over"

"thanks" I walked to the window side, my usual seat because there was a high chair next to my seat, I'd asked Mary the owner to place one there when I moved here.

I slipped Ameera in the high chair and took my seat, Ameera looked out the window, amazed by all the different passengers, she'd wave, then call out in her usual baby language.

Anji brought our order over and it was at that time Maan joined.

"Sorry I'm late, traffic" he told me, giving me his excuse for his delay.

"its ok, I ordered you a coffee, you do have coffee or are you a tea person?"

"Thanks, coffee's fine"

We sat in silence for a while both sipping our drinks, I wondered how I should start, and thankfully he'd spoke up.

"what have you decided?" he asked  as he took a sip of his coffee.

I sucked in a harsh breath then told him my decision. "I'll marry you but I want something from you"

"What?"

"I want you to open the baby a trust fund, I opened one for Ameera so you don't need to do anything for her, But I want one for the baby, I haven't got much left that's why I need you to open it"

"Ok but can I ask why?"

"There's no guarantee of this working, but if it doesn't work out, I don't want any of the children to suffer, I don't want to bring them on the streets"

"They'll never be on the street" he held onto my hand, "I'll never allow it, and I'll never let you go through hell again"

I nodded, a part of me believed him, a part of me told me I had a little hope.

I could only wish he didn't break me apart just as my husband did, because if I was broken once more I don't think I would be repairable once more. I didn't think I'd be able to build my life once again.

"Do you want to move away from here?" Maan asked.

Did I? Did I want to move away from here, I've left once before but I lost my friends that really cared for me, my family didn't give a damn. Will I be able to move again?

"I think we have to, If we're going to be living together then it'd be best to start afresh, and I don't my past job to affect anyone's future" I told him referring to Ameera and the baby's future. If we worked this out, what if someone told my children what their mother used to do.

"Any preferences?"

"I don't know" I shrugged, because the only places I'd ever lived was here and my hometown, I've no clue about other places.

"I want our children to grow up in a little town, the busy city life will be too hectic".

Hearing the word our children made my heart flutter and churn, I'd never given a thought that I will ever hear anyone see Ameera as theirs but me.

"What about your work?" I asked knowing he was some businessman.

"I'd still be working, don't worry about that, there's a little town that's about half an hour drive from here, our old holiday house is also there"

I smiled.

"ma..ma" Ameera kicked her legs in sheer excitement, she laughed and grinned seeing a dog that was outside, she screamed in her babbling tone at the dog.

I shook my head, it was her usual, Maan however watched amused as if he'd never seen a child so excited.

I took a sip of my drink as he watched Ameera.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Maan asked suddenly,

"What? In this weather?"

"oh yeah true, typical english weather" he chuckled.

"How about a drive?"

"What happened all of a sudden?" What did happen to him all of a sudden, why did he want to go out.

"Nothing, just I want to go out"

"Fine why don't you just go by yourself"

"Because I want to go with you and Ameera"

I raised my brows at him, why?

"Geet its best if we get to know one another a little before we commit to this, and it'll be good for Ameera to get used to me"

I nodded understanding, he stood to his then said "well come on then".

I gave him him a faint smile then picked Ameera.

"Can I?" he asked stretching his arms, I looked at his hands then at Ameera contemplating should I hand her over to him. I passed her over, Ameera jumped to him, hugging him by his neck, Maan smiled widely whilst I could only stare.

He led us to his car.

"You're going to have to hold her, I haven't got a car seat yet"

I nodded and took the seat at the back, Maan settled at the seat, he began to drive but stopped after five minutes, he asked to wait whilst he comes back.

When he returned he had brought a new car seater.

"Why'd you buy that now?"

"Might as well, we're going to need one soon anyway" he shrugged fixing it then took Ameera and placed her in her new seat.

"Now you can sit at the front because I seem like a driver with you and Ameera at the back and Maan Singh Khurana a is anything but." he told me.

I shook my head and moved to the front, he settled and resumed driving us.

We'd come back home, on the way back Maan had bought us take out, I carried Ameera up to the apartment whilst Maan followed with the bag of take out.

"I told you it wasn't needed" I said as I unlocked the door.

"I am hungry alright, and I'm sure you are as well, we've been on the road for over 3hrs"

I was hungry but I wasn't going to admit it, Ameera went to sleep after I fed her when we stopped at the side of the road, Maan had waited outside whilst I fed her, despite already seeing me he didn't mind waiting outside, I was grateful for that, I was grateful he'd respected me enough had it been someone else they'd have said what's there to hide, I've seen you already, but he didn't.

 Settling Ameera in her crib I walked back to the living room to join Maan who sat on the carpet, leaning his back against the sofa and the food all laid out on the tea table.

"You can sit on the sofa you know"

"I know, but its more nice to have take out whilst sitting on the floor" he told as he passed me a box of fillet meal when I joined him.

He opened his can of drink and took a sip, "I love their food" he told me before taking a chip into his mouth.

"When do you want to set the date?" he took a bite of his burger. I shrugged taking a chip into my mouth.

"I'm thinking the earlier the better" he told me.

"Why?"

"In a few months you'll start showing and I don't want anyone calling the baby illegitimate"

I sipped my coke, nodding understanding why, I agreed.

"Any specific date?"

"Whenever, your choice" I told him, I really didn't mind when we get married because I was doing this all for the sake of both my children.

"Its not going to be easy but please just trust me" Maan spoke, I guess he noticed I really didn't care much about the marriage or anything but the children.

"I know, I trust you enough to marry you Maan" I admitted, I did, I trusted him enough to marry him, I didn't know if I could ever depend on him, or even expect anything from him.

I wondered will we ever be able to live a normal life, especially me only I know what I'd been through. Will the bad shadows of my past ever leave me alone, or will it appear to haunt me? Will I ever be able to really start afresh?

 

***

Maan

I'd left Geet after we finished eating, now I was on my way home, I needed to tell dadi and convince her, though it won't be that hard once I tell her Geet is pregnant with my child, I just hoped dadi doesn't expect anything off her. I knew her mindset, she'd think since I'm marrying Geet that'll mean Annie will be allowed to be bailed. But I'd need to handle that situation or else I'll lose both dadi, Geet and my child in this. I didn't want another child of mine to suffer the consequence of us adults. The fact that I couldn't stop my ex from destroying a child still killed me within,  I was living with this guilt for the past 2yrs, and God now has given me a chance to become a father, the father that I wanted to become.

I would undoubtedly do my best by everyone, as geet's husband and as a father to Ameera and our unborn child. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I could only hope none of the children suffer due to us. One of my child has suffered already, Geet's child was suffering all this time as well, No more! I won't allow it. I arrived at KM, for a moment I just sat inside the car wondering how to tell dadi, how will she react? Will she accept Geet and Ameera? Will she accept this marriage or treat them as strangers even after I marry Geet. But there was no doubt about this marriage, I was going to marry her whether anyone likes it or not!

 

***

Maan

"Maan aap jante bhi hai aap kya pooch rahe hai?" Dadima said standing to her feet.

"Haan dadima"

"Maan unke vaje se aaj aapki behen jail main hai"

"Annie uske saza kaat rahi hai jis ke vaja woh khud hai"

"Maan woh aapki behen hai"

Why did dadima always have to say the same thing over and over again, its as if she thinks I've forgotten Annie is my sister.

"Dekhiye dadima jo annie ne kiya agar koi aur aurat hoti na toh zarur woh loug usko wahin maar dete, usne apne maza ke liye ek bacchi ke zindagi khatre mein dala ta"

"Teek hai, agar aap humara saat nahi dena chahte toh mat dijiye, lekin hum uss aurat ko nahi apnayenge"

I sighed deeply, this was going to be harder than it looks, the old woman is so damn adamant, I can't tell her of the baby, she'd detest Geet even more knowing how her mindset works.

"teek hai.. humare shadi iss hafte mein hi hogi"

"Aap yeh shadi karenge?" she'd asked me, I never wanted to hurt dadima, I wouldn't dream of it but there was my child, a broken woman's trust and her child involved, I couldn't take away their hopes when I myself have promised them.

I nodded, and walked towards my room, I had to think everything through and prepare. How my life was changing so fast I wasn't realizing but this may be for the best.

Geet

I picked the phone up, then placed it down, I wondered whether I should call Maan and let him know, I contemplated over it for a while, should I let him know or not, will he want to be there or not.

Inhaling a deep breath I pressed the numbers and made a call to him, he picked it up after a few rings, he knew it was me since he'd said my name instantly asking whether everything was fine.

"Yeah everything's fine" I answered then paused, swallowing the lump in my throat I spoke up once again.

"I've got an appointment with the nurse tomorrow, er.. its about the baby"

"Is the baby ok?" his voice was tensed and strained, he gets so worried and that too so quick.

"Yeah, its just a check up"

"Oh.. alright, so there's nothing wrong?"

"No, everything's good, I was jus.. I was just wondering would you like to come as well"

I didn't get any response for a few seconds, I wished I hadn't told him now, he didn't want to come, what was I thinking.

"Would you let me?" I heard his soft whisper, to me it rung in my ears, he wanted my permission.

"Yes"

"Thanks Geet, I'd like that"

"Ok.. then I'll see you tomorrow at 2"

"I'll take us there" he told me.

"Hmm.. bye"

"bye"

I cut the call and exhaled the breath I held inside me for so long, what had this man done to me? I was already hoping things, why? I needed to get a hold of myself, I can't delve deeper into this, I can't expect anything or else I'd be hurt in the end, and I didn't want to go through anymore, but Maan had promised to be by my side, he'd promised to do his part as a father, maybe, just maybe there was hope, and maybe I could be living a normal life, live the dreams which I wanted, But Could I?

 

Maan

 

When geet called, I'd worried was there something wrong, had something happened, I panicked for a while when she'd said it was about the baby, was I losing already before I had even begun. Hearing that she was asking me if I'd want to accompany her caught my breath, she trusted me enough and asked to accompany her, who'd want to miss that opportunity, I grinned to myself, happy that she had thought of asking me, after I cut the call I honestly couldn't stop smiling to myself, the little bit of trust that Geet had on me sent me grinning widely, I felt as if I'd accomplished something, it might not be an award or a lottery ticket but It was something big for me. A lot bigger than the worlds wealth. Gaining the trust of a broken woman was something big, it was special and out of this world for me.

 

***

 

"Ameera come here baby" I called her, she was stood holding the tea table for support, I reached out my arms for her to come to, she grinned and walked a few steps stumbling then standing back to her feet, then once again trying to walk to me.

"Yayyy" I picked her up as she reached me, "Wow... my princess can walk haina?" I nuzzled her nose with mine causing her to laugh out loud.

 

I padded over to the door with Ameera settled on my hip as someone knocked on the door, I pecked Ameera's cheek as she looked so cute looking excited as I opened the door, turning my head I was stunned to see Maan's dadima.

 

"aap?"

"Hum aapse baat kar sakte hai?" she asked me.

I nodded and opened the door further letting her in.

"Betiye" I offered, I knew I was going to have to be polite since I was marrying her grandson.

"Hum yahan baitne nahi aaye hai, hum aapse yahin jaan na chahte hai aapko kitne paise chahiye?"

"Ji?" I stepped back, stunned at her question.

"Kitne paise chahiye mere pote ke peecha chodhne ke liye"

I took deep breaths needing to calm myself, "Please leave" I wondered what Maan had told her, tears gathered in my eyes she'd openly insulted and judged me and that too for no damn reason.

"aap ek maa ho kar aap mere pote ko apne jaal mein phasa rahe hai, akhir aisa kya jadoo karliya ke Maan unke behen ka saat nahi dete, mere saat nahi dete, aapko ginn nahi ata ke itne neech kaam kar rahe hai, mere pote ka peecha chodh do"

I stormed to the door, opening it "Chale jaiye, chale jaiye yahan se" I shouted not able to keep my hurt hidden, her words pricked me, smashing the dreams I'd woven slowly.

I slammed the door and cuddled on the floor with Ameera in my arms, crying, why had I even hoped, why had I even started to weave dreams? Why?

I was angry, angry at myself, at my fate and angry at Maan, I swiped at my tears, frustrated and deeply hurt, I picked the phone up and dialled his number.

Before he could speak I spoke

"I won't Marry You!"

 

***

I was being foolish, a girl like me would never live a normal life, someone round the corner is always going to jump out and remind me of what I am, just like his dadima reminded me, she gave me the much needed shock to make me realize dreams don't come true, and that too for someone like me.

 

I looked down at ameera who was snuggled in my embrace suckling in her sleep, she smiled faintly against my breast, she must be dreaming, I walked towards her nursery to lay her in her crib, moving her off my breast and fixing myself I lay her down carefully. I knelt before her crib, just lightly caressing her hair. I promised myself I will never have my daughter's dreams shattered, I will make sure all her dreams are fulfilled to the best of my ability and I would go to any extent for that. I wasn't going to let my daughter ever go through what I have, I wasn't going to let her dreams shatter before her eyes and most of all I wasn't going to break her trust. I've been through it and I knew how much it hurts, I was feeling it now, why? Why did Maan show me these dreams, why did he even give me hope?

 

I heard the faint knocking on the front door, I didn't want to meet anyone now, I ignored it hoping the person would leave but the person on the other side decided to annoy me, banging the door louder and faster.

I grit my teeth then stood turning her baby monitor on, and walking out I closed the door behind me. Reaching the front door, I opened it wide to shout, but stopped seeing Maan.

 

Maan

 

What happened all of a sudden? why had she changed her mind, what caused her to be so angry? I was shocked, numb to be precise, if geet didn't marry me then I was going to lose, I was going to lose her and our baby. I admired her to the extent that it hurt me at times, it hurt me thinking about what she may have been through, I wanted to know everything, I wanted to be a part of her life. But now it seems as if everything is going out of my reach before I could grasp it. I just need to see her now, and I want to know what made her change her decision all of a sudden.

 

***

Geet

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked gritting my teeth.

"Why? Why did you change your mind?"

"Get Lost!" I wasn't answerable to him, I reached to close the door, but he stopped me entering inside and closed the door behind him.

"Get out Maan"

"No.. I want to know"

"what do you wanna know? huh? what do you exactly wanna know?" I wiped away my tears, "what the hell did you tell your dadima? Did you tell her I want you money or something?" I shouted.

"No! I never said anything but I'm marrying you"

"Yeah right! you think I believe you"

"Geet I.."

Don't... just don't" I backed away, "I regret trusting you, I regret it" I heard his small gasp, "If you think I'd marry then forget it, I'm not going to let my children suffer"

"Geet" he moved towards me

"I won't marry you" I whispered looking right at him,

"Geet.. How will you survive? How will you bring two children up all by yourself"

"I'd sell this apartment, remortgage it, move to a smaller one, I'd even sell all my clothes if I have to but I'm not going to marry you"

"Please just"

"Don't I said! Your grandma made me realize A wh**e is always a wh**e, is that what you see me as?" I screamed, crying.

He grabbed me shaking me, "NO!"

"You're a f**king liar, like all the rest of them" I struggled in his hold, "I hate you" I slapped at his hands.

"Trust Me!" he pressed me against the wall, resting his head atop mine, lacing his fingers into my hair.

"Trust me please" he whispered, wrapping his free arm around my waist and holding me tight to him. I stopped looking at his eyes, was he really honest?

"I never said anything, I promise" he spoke softly.

"Why'd you show me dreams for? why?" I cried softly.

"I promise I'll make them all true"

I shook my head, "You're lying"

"Please.. Please believe me, trust me" he moved closer, "Geet I like you, I like you that much that I wished that I had married you instead of my ex, I wish I could replace her place with you, I like you that much that it hurts just thinking about what you've probably gone through"

My eyes widened with his little confession, he moved closer, his warm breath falling atop of my lips, I felt his dry lips take mine, closing my eyes I let myself go, my fight dying in me, his eyes told me he was honest, he was sincere but my mind told me not to believe him, he placed little pecks, then slowly and tentative delved into my mouth, all I recalled was the first time he'd kissed me, I kissed him back but that was as a duty however today I done it with my own free will, I let myself go, go with the flow, wanting to melt, wanting to have this guilty pleasure for once. He traced the contours of my mouth thoroughly, pressing onto my body with his, my hands reached his nape then hair, threading my hands through his black mass and I curled them in my hand, fisting it.

"Maan" I gasped as he traced his tongue over my lips, placing soft pecks.

"tell me you trust me" he whispered, I tightened my eyes shut, wanting to cry of frustration,

"Tell me Please"

"I trust you.." I breathed out, "I trust you!"

He hugged me tight, cradling my head in his palm, "I promise I'll fix this, I'll fix everything"

I held onto him, wanting solace and comfort, I wished he did, I can't handle any more heartbreaks.

He pulled out then cupped my cheeks in his palm, "I'll make dadi understand, I'll tell her about the baby"

"No.." I pressed my hand on his, "don't please, or else she'd think I'd blackmail you with the baby"

"She won't"

I shook my head not willing to agree, he then succumbed agreeing hiding the baby for now will be better.

"It's late, Go and sleep" He told me walking me into my room with me embraced in his arms, it felt natural, all of this, his embrace, his kiss, I wanted to cling onto this till I can, what if this turns out to be a dream, what if Maan turns out to be a dream, nothing so good would really take place in my life.

He pushed the covers then helped me in, "I'll see myself out" he told me pressing his lips to my temple then covered me with the duvet.

I held his hand before he got up, "stay with me please"

He passed me a smile, taking off his shoes and socks, and then waistcoat along with his tie he slipped in then took me in his embrace, his embrace felt like home, it felt as if I belong there, where I belonged I had no idea but for me Maan's arms felt like home.

I lay on his chest just thinking of what else was to come, there will be many more people, many more obstacles, this itself hasn't passed yet what about the days that are to come. I closed my eyes hoping the morning sun will shed some light in my life.

 

***

 

The next morning was a little surprise for me, I'd woken up to Maan staring at me, I'd thought he'd have left as soon as he woke up. We'd both had a quick shower, me in my room and Maan in the spare room. He wore his pants with his vest since he had no clothes to change into and I had none here.

After I had showered, I went to check on Ameera in her nursery, peeking over her crib I looked at her, she was curled up with her thumb in her mouth and holding her blanket close to her. This was the heavenly sight I was always blessed with, I bent down kneeling on my feet, caressing her cheek gently, I called her.

"Ameera..." I took her thumb out her mouth only to have her take it in again, "Baby.. wake up"

She turned giving me her back, groaning softly.

"Ameera.. wakey wakey" I tickled her with my finger on her stomach, she smiled with her eyes closed fighting with my finger.

"Wakey wakey Amy"

She opened her eyes, shaking her head refusing me.

I nodded at her, "wake up baby"

"mama.." she pouted and shook her head at me then seeing me not giving in to her she lifted her arms.

I picked her up and stood to my feet, pecking her cheek I cuddled her to myself.

I took her to my room to give her bath, placing her on the bed with pillows surrounding her I went to prepare for her bath.

I could hear her playing and mumbling to herself, shaking my head I checked the water temperature making sure it wasn't too hot or too cold for her.

I walked into the room to see Maan sat beside, she wasn't mumbling to herself but to maan, she showed her plastic set of keys to him and excitedly went on with herself in God Knows what language. Maan smiled at her asking her for the keys, she hit him with the keys on his head shaking her head, and looking at him angrily.

I bit my smile, "Amy no.. bad" I walked over.

"I can see the smile Geet " Maan told me

"I wasn't smiling" I told him taking her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her stomach.

"Sure you weren't, I didn't know your dimples come out for no reason"

"fine.. It was kinda funny" I admitted, his expressions were priceless, "anyways I'll just give her a bath then come prepare breakfast" I told him.

"Can I help?" he asked me

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Can. I. Help?" He asked me once again, but slowly.

Of course I heard him the first time, but that was a surprise to me, no one had ever offered help like he did, my ex husband never did, he never lent a hand in looking after Ameera, he never lent a hand in changing, bathing or feeding her and no one had ever helped me with Ameera willingly so Maan asking me was definitely a surprise.

"geet" he said.

"huh?" I jerked out of my thoughts and looked at him.

"Can I? that is if you don't mind"

I nodded slowly at him, he beamed like a child as if he'd gotten a candy, we both walked into the washroom, and gave Ameera her bath together, Maan played with her, softly trickling water over her, changing and dressing her we both headed to the kitchen. I placed Ameera in her high chair then checked the cupoboards to find something for everyone to eat.

"What do you want to have?" I asked Maan who sat on the chair situated next to Ameera.

"Anything" he answered paying more attention to Ameera, she was fumbling with her toy, trying to open the parts of the doll up, Maan watched her amusingly.

I shrugged at his answer and put bread to toast and turned the kettle on. I took out the porrige packet for Ameera, warming milk separately I mixed the porrige powder and milk in her baby bowl and left it aside to cool down. I buttered the toast and made a cup of coffee remembering he has coffee and placed them on the counter for him.

"here" I told him.

"Thanks" he sipped his coffee whilst I made a cup of tea for myself, settling my cup of tea to cool and my toast at the side, I picked Ameera's bowl up to feed her. I tied the bub around her which she tried to pull off as soon as I did.

"Amy no.." I told her, but she carried on tugging it.

Why did she even try, she won't be able to free the knot then why? I spooned some porrige and offered. She stopped tugging taking the food then once again tugged at it.

"Amy.. baby stop" I moved her hands away, and passed her a plastic spoon, she picked her doll and pretended to feed the doll.

I took a bit of my toast after giving her another spoon, Maan looked at me, I raised my brows looking at him.

"nothing.."

"What time's the appointment?" He asked me after sometime.

"Half 2"

"Its just a routine check up?"

"yep"

 

After breakfast, Maan helped me clear up, we both headed to the living room, I sat on the floor with Ameera in my lap, Maan took a seat opposite me.

"I looked over a few houses" he informed after a while, since there was awkwardness lingering in the air.

I nodded, "and?"

"we can go look at them this week"

"It doesn't really matter, I just want it far away from this place so it doesn't affect any of you lot" I answered.

"Stop thinking about everyone else, I want you to see it and you to choose it"

"Maan"

"No.. Listen to me, for once think about what you want"

"I just want the children happy, honestly that alone is my happiness" I told him, Ameera crawled off my lap and settled beside me with her toy.

"Fine, I'll set up a few appointments to check the houses"

I nodded an ok, looking at her playing beside me, she was unknown to anything around her, unknown to the changes which will take place and give a different turn to our entire life.

"I've also spoken to a registrar" he told me referring to our marriage, "the earliest they've got is two weeks later, and I've booked it"

"oh.." he booked it already, I didn't mind but the fact of marrying once again had given me the shivers, not of excitement of happiness but a fear, a fear of losing myself once again.

"Geet what's wrong?" he asked me.

I shook my head, "Nothing, nothing at all"

"You're quite a bad liar you know that"

"I'm not lying"

"Sure you aren't, its natural for anyone to be scared or fear any changes"

"I'm not scared of changing or adjusting, I'm scared of losing myself" I muttered out softly.

He looked confused, and I couldn't explain it, I had no answer for him that I was willing to share.

"Sharing one's pain may lessen the burden and the pain" he said.

"not always, at times it only deepens the scar" I answered looking at Ameera, my hands playing with her curly locks, I swallowed the lump in my throat, it was true for me it only deepened my scar because I remember and relive it once again, I relive the moments when my husband raped me, I relive the times he hit me, I relive the moments of finding out he's cheated me, I relive the moments of him cursing me and Ameera, I relive each and every moment and it doesn't ever lessen my pain but it deepens.

I looked at Maan to meet his eyes, he looked at me as if trying to read my face, I inwardly smiled reading me was going to be a hard task not just for him but the world, I've lived like this since my father died, I lived with pretense half my life, I was an expert by now, I was living with pretense even now, had I not I would've died with all the pain, scars which have embedded in me with time or suffocated to death with everything.

From outside, people see me as a normal girl, wife and a mother.

But I had a dark side to it.

I was a broken girl, a battered wife and a mother who was surviving just for her daughter. I Was An Escort.

 

***

 

I took deep breaths as we waited for the nurse to call us inside, a part of me was nervous, there was no particular reason for it, but I just was nervous, Maan was beside me, he looked more worried than me, Ameera was in her pushchair playing with her teether.

"Mrs Singhania" the nurse called me, I noticed Maan clenched his fist gritting his teeth for some reason, I shoved away the thought and stood to my feet, gripping the handle of Ameera's pushchair and followed the nurse into the room with Maan behind me.

I took a seat whilst Maan occupied the next chair next to me.

"How are we feeling today?" the midwife asked politely as she looked into the computer.

"good" I answered.

"any morning sickness?"

"no.. I'm only only 7 weeks gone"

"Alright.." then she went on asking me another set of questions which I answered.

"Right as you know today is just a check up, we'll just be taking a blood test to make sure you're clean, free of any illness so that it'll prevent any problems etc.." she explained.

She took a sample of my blood then checked my height and weight, once done she sat back down on her chair typing into her computer once again.

"right its all done, we'll have the report in a week's time" she told me.

"thank you" I stood to my feet thanking her.

"you're welcome"

"Is that it?" Maan asked we left the room

"yes"

"but I thought it's a check up?"

"yes that was their check up"

"but don't they do like a.. a scan type thing"

I chuckled, "I see you've been watching a lot of films"

"I'm being serious here"

"ok.. they do the sonography on the 12th week"

He unlocked the car, I took Ameera out of her pushchair and settled her in the car seat whilst Maan tucked the pushchair into the trunk.

"wanna go somewhere?" Maan asked as he slid into his seat.

"Yeah.."

"Alright Where?"

"home"

"funny joke" he rolled his eyes.

"I'm tired, so I just wanna go home" I rested my head on the seat closing my eyes.

***

I carried Ameera up, Maan had dropped us off since he had somewhere to go, I walked up the flight of stairs as I approached near my apartment I noticed someone stood there.

"Excuse me" I called, the person turned facing me. "Jack" I was confused why was my lawyer here.

"Hi.. I tried to call you but you were unavailable, so I had to come here"

I nodded, unlocking the door I let him in.

"I'll be back in a sec, take a seat" I told him taking Ameera into the nursery since she'd slept in the car. Taking her coat, hat, mittens and shoes off I settled her in the crib. I walked back into the living room where Jack was sitting.

"coffee, tea, drink?" I asked

"No thanks, I need to speak to you regarding Mr Singhania" He informed me.

"Oh..." I was a little taken aback hearing his name.

"Mr Singhania's asked for bail" he told me knocking the breath out of me.

"h..how can that be possible?" I asked.

"he's served the minimum time so he's allowed"

"no.. no he can't come out" I shook my head not being able to digest the fact he could be free soon if his appeal for bail succeeds.

"Then you'll have to testify once again"

I closed my eyes, I didn't think I'd have it in me to go through the proceedings once again.

"I'll leave you to make the decision, but I need to know what you decide in a few days time, the date for the court will take place later on, could take a few weeks, or months in fact" he stood making his own way out, I was too shocked to move from my place, the person who'd ruined me could be free soon. I knew my husband well enough, he'd seek revenge from me once he's out, he'd once again ruin my life.

I'd have to prepare myself, I need to leave this city at the earliest because if he succeeds in getting his bail then, then he wouldn't sit peacefully till he seeks revenge from me.

***

"hello" I picked my phone up.

"its me" I heard Maan's voice,

"hmm" I rested the phone between my ear and shoulder as I picked Ameera up from the bathtub wrapping her in the towel"

"I've booked the appointment to see the house"

"mmm hmmn" I hummed acknowledging as I powdered Ameera and put her nappy on.

"today at 2" he told me

"that quick"

"yeah thats the earliest they've got"

"alright, I'll be ready for then" I slipped on her little frock.

"we'd have to set off at one, its 40mins drive from here"

"ok then"

He didn't say anything for a while,
"anything else?" I asked since he kept quiet.

"Yeah.. the registrar called, there's been a cancellation for next monday, they asked if I'd like that date, so I just wanted to ask you"

"whichever suits you best" I answered nonchalantly.

"Is everything alright?"

"yes its fine"

"no you just sound a little tensed"

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath to calm myself as I was still worried about my husband's bail, "I'm fine, book it whenever you think its best"

"It'll be better to be at the earliest"

"alright, just let me know the time, I'll be ready"

"its at 10 in the morning next monday"

"Ok"

"fine bye" he cut the call, I just looked at my phone, everything's moving so fast in my life, the marriage, moving houses, the baby, everything seemed to just pass me in a blink and top of that another problem, my ex husband's bail.

I picked Ameera up and walked into the living room, sitting her down on the play mat I went into the kitchen to prepare some food for her, I warmed a dinner pot up whilst I switched the kettle on.

"Ameera..." I called her, "Amy" I smiled as she walked towards me in little steps, she did tumble onto her bottom but she stood back on her feet determined to walk to me, I picked her up in my arms placing her in her highchair, tying the bib round her neck I grabbed her bowl. I stirred the dinner up to cool it down, bringing it near my lips I blew the spoonful of her baby food before offering it to her.

Once she'd ate, I settled with my cup of tea in the living room with Ameera playing with her toys on the mat.

"hello" I picked my phone up as it rang.

"hi.. its me sarah"

"hey"

"you ok?"

"yeah not bad, what about you?"
"I'm fine"

"hows Ameera?"

"she's good"

"Geet I called for a reason.."

"yeah?"

"You owe quite a bit of money"

"Owe? What are you going on about Sarah? I didn't take no loan or anything"

"Look Geet you left suddenly, and because of that I lost quite a bit of clients"

"then what's my fault in this? Sarah you very well know I can't afford it"

"I'm sorry but you need to pay or come back here" she told me with finality.

I grit my teeth, she was nice only because I'd brought her money now because I wasn't making any money now she'd shown her true colors to me. "How much?"
"3000"

"3 grand.. I don't have that sort of money"

"there are other ways of earning that sort of amount"

"I won't pay" I told her, I wasn't going to let her walk over me.

"Excuse me?"

"you heard me, I Won't Pay"

"Fine..." she bit out cutting the call.

I didn't what I'd done, whether it was right or wrong, but she never gave me any conditions before working under her, she never told me that I'd have to give her a notice before I left, she knew the reason very well why I'd left then why was she being like this now. But then everyone is only nice when they get their due money, once the money stops their faces come on show. Sarah was one of them. I wondered if she'd do anything, if I wasn't paying her.

***

Maan and I'd come back from viewing the house, it was nice, pretty spacious and perfect for a family home, it'd been recently fully renovated, we wouldn't need to do much work to it which was a plus advantage for us as we've got our hands full just with moving away from here.

"So what do you think of the house then?" he asked me whilst we walked up towards my apartment.

"well, its spacious and good"

"So thats a possibility?"

"yeah, it'll be alright for us, the garden's a good sized one as well"

"hmm, I like the back garden more it'd be good for the kids"

I chuckled, "i don't think they're old enough to play in the garden yet" My smile disappeared the moment I saw my apartment door had been broken. There was police and a number of people just gathered around.

"what happened?" I asked as I hurried over, Maan followed.

"Is this your apartment?"

"yes.. what happened?"

"Someone broke in, we don't know whether anything's been missing yet, would you mind checking?"

"er..ok, can you hold her please?" I passed Ameera to Maan as I walked into my room, I knew what I'd hidden there.

I rushed to my closet, bending on my knees I looked behind the shoes, getting the little box out, I found it to be broken, my heart sunk just with the thoughts of this.

I opened the box to find it empty, I inhaled a deep breath, 3 months of my Ameera's savings had gone, the full 12,000.

"Geet has anything gone missing?" Maan asked as he entered the room.

I knew who was behind this, Sarah, the greed for money made her steal my child's savings, I threw the box across the room, crying, the money which I'd saved for Ameera over 3 months had gone.

"Geet" Maan held my arm with his free hand as he lifted me to my feet, "whats wrong?"
"they've taken the full 12 grand, they've taken my Ameera's money maan, they've taken my baby's money" I cried, tensed, I broke down, why did they take her money for? Maan hugged me by my side, I held onto him as I cried. Why'd this happen to me for? Just when things were going well for me, why did something always go wrong for me?

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Edited by ...Tanya-K... - 10 February 2013 at 7:43pm

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srikrithi

Goldie

srikrithi

Joined: 12 June 2007

Posts: 1356

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 7:57pm | IP Logged
Thanks for putting the ff back.
Waiting for part 19.

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asmi123-Diamonds-

smallville

IF-Rockerz

smallville

Joined: 12 February 2006

Posts: 5711

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
Waiting ...

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-Diamonds-

sona-rai

IF-Sizzlerz

sona-rai

Joined: 07 July 2010

Posts: 21891

Posted: 10 February 2013 at 9:31pm | IP Logged
yayyy me so happy...
welcome back.
waiting for next update.

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-Diamonds-

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