"Geet, you think I have big eyes like Rawan?"
She looks at him scared while he hovers over her dangerously almost lying on top of her, half way. She could feel his body heat, his breath was close to her neck, she felt chills every time he breathed. Geet held the blanket in her hands tightly making a fist while she looked into his eyes.
"Answer me Geet. Am I a Rawan?" (He cooed near her ears making her halt in her breathing. She inhaled his scent; it was so masculine making her drown in it. She felt his hand touch her hand making her open one of the fist. He laced his fingers with hers as he gently kissed her neck. Geet just laid there stiff not knowing what to do.
Maan was kissing her neck when he felt something wet. He looks up and saw tears coming from her eyes, as she laid there with her eyes closed. Maan lets go of her hand and backs up a little.
"Am sorry. I shouldn't have done this"
Geet opens her eyes and saw Maan looking at her with guilt. He sits on the sofa looking out at the moon from the big window. He leans back resting his head on the sofa. Geet slowly removes the blanket as she walks towards him.
I cursed myself for getting carried away with Geet. I shuld've known she is still uncomfortable to take anything to the next step. She is not ready. How could you be so stupid to do this? How can you force her like this? After a long time, she is finally near you. She is slowly opening up to you and now you go around do this crap? I don't even know how to face her anymore.
I felt her presence near me. I knew she would come here to console me but how would I console her mind and her soul? There are so many wounds and pain within her because of me, how would I ever remove it? I turned a courageous girl into a meek person. I still remember when she had slapped me in front of everyone. That one thing made me like her instantly. No one ever stood up to me the way she had. I knew in my heart that she would be perfect for me but I was too stubborn and wrapped up in my wealth to notice it.
Now, the Geet that is with me is not the same person anymore. This person is scared of me and of my mere presence. What have I done? Guilt was taking over me again this time greater than before. Did i even deserve to be here with her? I should've just came here by myself and gave her a divorce.
"Its okay Geet. You don't have to say anything. In fact, I should be the one to say sorry to you. I just got carried away. I promise it won't happen again."
I looked straight into her eyes as she stood close to me shocked with what I just said. Was she expecting me to say something different? Was she not expecting this change from me? Of course, its not easy for anyone to accept this change just yet.
I get up trying to walk away when she held my wrist.
"No. Geet please don't say anything. I should've known that you are still scared of me and my presence. I hurt you so much Geet. Its just you have a big heart that you were willing to come with me far away from your friends and family. I am not like that Geet. I can be very selfish. My love for you makes me selfish Geet. I am trying to be a another person for you, Vicky and even Anamika but I always end up doing something that makes you fear me."
"Its true right now I was scared. When you were kissing me I couldn't respond to you. Maan I am scared to loose myself again. I uhh just need some time to take this new phase of our lives to the next step." (Maan closes his eyes in pain hearing the words from her mouth)
"Maan our first night didn't go the way I had imagined. The memory of that first night just came back to me when you were kissing me."
I could hear her voice chocking. That night, when I raped her. Tears started to flow out of my hears when I still could hear her screaming voice begging me to leave but I didn't. I was wrapped up in my own revenge and anger.
"I guess I just need time to forget everything. Don't take me the wrong way but over time..I uhh"
"What do you want me to do Geet? I will do anything that will help you." (I looked at her with tears.)
"Lets be friends."
"A friend?" (I wasn't sure if she was serious)
"Yes. Before husband and wife lets get to know one another. Maan truth be told I don't know much about you besides your favorite dish and how work-a-holic person you are. I know Maan you know everything about me from likes to dislikes, from my favorite color to my favorite food but there are still more things that I would like to share with you. Like my childhood, my mom, my favorite activities as a kid. Everything. I would like to know about your childhood Maan. How you were as a kid, everything. That is only possible if we become friends first"
"Okay, Geet. Lets be friends. I promise I won't cross my line until we both are ready to take it to the next step. I will sleep in different room until than. Its important that you are here close to Anamika."
I wipe her tears away and slowly hugged her. After few seconds, she reciprocated that hug. It felt so unreal to me. A friend. Hopefully, that would help our relationship I could wait my whole life for her, if that is what it takes. I will do anything. I slowly broke away from the hug, even though I didn't want to. I helped her lie down on the bed as I was about to grab some pillows for the other room.
"Maan we could share this room and this bed. I know you won't do anything. Please."
"Are you sure?"
Maan smiles as he got lay on the bed pulling Anamika on top of him again. Both looked at each other before dozing off. Tomorrow was going to be a new day for both of them.
Geet woke up feeling refreshed and light after having the talk with Maan. She knew no matter what Maan won't break his promise. If there was one thing she could count on was his promise. He does what he says and means what he says. I looked over to my left for Anamika but she was not there. He must've put her in her crib. I slowly walked toward her room when a little noise caught my attention. It was coming from the bathroom. The door was little bit open. I know its bad manners. I was about to ignore it when I heard him talking to someone inside the bathroom.
Who could he be talking to? I slowly opened the door and saw the most shocking and amazing thing. Maan was washing Anamika. He had her laid down on the baby washing seat in the bathtub. While he held a soft sponge cleaning her off gently making sure there was no soap near her eyes. Anamika splashed the water with her hands and legs. Maan talked to her nicely while washing giving her little toys to play with.
Maan turned to look at me with a smile and I knew he was little embarrassed for being caught like this.
"Looks like you got my less vocabulary disease" (Maan laughed focusing his eyes on Anamika)
"yeah, looks like it. I thought to clean her up before you wake up."
"ohh okay. You want me to help with anything?"
"No. I could handle this. You might want to handle Vicky before he gets up."
Maan continued on doing the cleaning while Geet left to check on Vicky. Soon after Vicky was ready, Maan brought Anamika for her feeding while Maan and Vicky ate their breakfast.
Geet where should we go first? We just have this weekend to enjoy with the kids. On Monday, Vicky will leave for school. (Maan said as he came to the room after eating his breakfast. Geet looks at him shocked and surprised)
"Why is he leaving? The school is only half hour away. He could commute"
"No. I want him to live there"
"Why?" (My tears started to form in my eyes) "What has he done wrong?"
"Nothing. Geet he is becoming too dependent. He has this fear that I will leave him. I don't want him to live like this. He needs to know that no matter what we will be there for him. Him staying away will make him realize this."
"but nothing Geet. I know he will throw tantrum but you have to be strong and make him understand. He needs to know he cannot live in fear. Now, lets get ready. I booked a boat for us. Vicky will enjoy it"
Geet nodded her head and went inside to get ready. Maan looked after Anamika with worry. I hope whatever I decided for Vicky was right. It will be for his benefit. He cannot live in fear like I did. He needs to know I will be always there for him, no matter what. I know it will pain Geet more than me but how can I explain properly? I just hope Vicky will be able to forgive me and understand over time.
I watched Geet being over protective with Vicky. Not once she left his side. She smiled whenever he pointed or talked non-stop. I was going to make this weekend very memorable for him. I sat at the corner holding camera taking their picture. Everyone seemed so happy. In between, she would look my way and smile. I would smile back and capture that moment. I always want to see her happy and will do anything to make sure she is happy.
Vicky jumped into my lap hugging him with a smile. I hug him back holding my tears. One more day to spend with him before he goes to school. I don't even know if I have enough strength to do what I have planned.