Originally posted by Accio_kajenI am copy-pasting my post from the thread that I had opened...All the people who are making the issue of the slap,I would tell you that in the end,it is a show.I am not justifying the slap,but do people understand that the show has a story line where ASAD AHMED KHAN is a male chauvinist?They are trying to show that he is like that.He has been brought up in that conditions.People tend to become impulsive in their lowest emotional movements and the "slap" was a reflexive action.The slap was to a woman,that is why it is being made a big issue!No this can not be termed as domestic violence because domestic violence is constant abusing of a person of ANY gender.Many others shows have showed domestic violence but this is being made an issue because it is by the main lead.
Laila: I go into the worst parts of town and have listened to some horrific stories of abuse and just because someone has had some issues in life does not give them an excuse or a carte blanche to slap people. Slapping does not constitute a relfex action - it can be controlled.
Did you do something about it then??Have you helped them?Constantly speaking about how the show is promoting "domestic violence" isn't helping people. I agree that his issues in life does not give him an excuse but the show is showing the reality.Slapping can be controlled but it can also constitute a reflex action.People when in their lowest emotional states tend to become defensiveThis happens with both men and women.I am not saying it is justified,just answering your question.
Laila: Yes I have. Can you say with evidence that it will not make any difference. Slapping is not a reflex action - please look at biology 101.
Can you say with evidence that it is affecting people?If yes,then I am wrong and I'll leave it at that.And the reflex action point is seen from this example-When a woman is being troubled or eve-teased,then slapping is a reflex.He was getting pissed off and angry,and slapped her on a reflex.
Laila: Yes, we have studies conducted for the past 20 years - some published. When a woman is being troubled and slaps she does it in self-defense. Asad was not defending himself, he took his anger out on a girl - he knew what he was doing. Don't compare the two to justify what Asad did.
When Balika vadhu started,nobody thought that they are encouraging child-marriage but now the show has reached a point where the "Balika Vadhu" has become an independent woman.Qubool hai is the same.Maybe this is the point where changes in Asad start to appear.
Laila: And the show did just that hence the reason I do not watch it or want to discuss it.
You know television is a medium where some shows are trying to change people.Especially in India!Because most cases are seen here and the main audience is women.I agree Zoya should stand up for herself and I think she didn't stand up for herself because she knew his mother was dying!She knew speaking up at the moment was not right!
Laila: Look at your sentence here and then your response in red to me - you contradict yourself.
I don't understand how I am contradicting myself.Yes I am saying television is a medium and read the underlined sentence in red in my response.
Laila; Either television has power or it doesn't decide.
Secondly,they have to show the story line as that because Asad who thinks girls are meant to be in their limits,respect their traditions,culture to the T,not speak up is going to fall for a girl who is completely opposite to his thinking.She is modern, independent and demands that girls should be respected.And she is right in that!She is here to make Asad understand that women have a right to be respected.You cannot form opinions from one episode when there is whole lot to come!Atleast you can further watch the episodes and try to see if they are trying to promote "domestic violence" or maybe trying to curb it.
Laila: It takes one incident for something to be classified as domestic violence - did you know that? No
One incident can also classify as domestic violence,right?Some parents slap their children when they do something wrong!Is that also classified as domestic violence?No!
Yes it is. It actually constitutes to a report to child protective services.
I am not talking about constant beatings,I am just talking about one slap.
Laila: Yes, one slap constitutes it.
You know what would've been domestic violence if he would've hit Zoya at every time she committed a mistake,if he would have hit Najma when she cut her hair or lied to him.
Laila: Incorrect. BTW, r you an expert in the field? If not, then you're embarrassing yourself cause I am.
No I am not an expert on the field.I have read somewhere that one slap cannot constitute to domestic violence.It depends on an individual-It may be warning bells for one while nothing for another.
Laila: "I have read somewhere" Well, let me tell you it does.
Do you realize that Asad has made a lot of mistakes regarding Zoya,and he is regretting them.Each time he regrets,the more changes will appear.It is the journey where Zoya is going to change his male chauvinist thinking.
Laila: That is not her job if it comes at the expense of getting abused.
But that is the story's plot.I am speaking for myself,I am watching the show,because maybe Zoya is here to change Asad.What do you want the story to be then,Asad is perfect and Zoya is perfect and everything happens happily ever after.Sometimes to change something bad you have to show the bad to make the public aware.Shows like crime patrol show the cases to make us aware,but according to you all they are promoting the crimes,right?I'll stop watching the show if they are not going to take any steps to improve Asad's behaviour.But till then I am going to keep hope.I am not judging the show in two episodes.
Laila: Again, it is not her job to fix him. Actually, I would prefer the show to be about a nonabrasive relationship where two people heal each others wounds. Exactly how is Asad going to heal her wounds when he inflicts them on her each day? You will have to after tomorrow cause he will say sorry and give her cup of coffee and all will be well.
But they don't make shows for one person,right?You think it is not her job to fix him but the makers do.Yes I will stop watching the show if they continue such behavior.I do not watch the show for its love-story because personally I don't ike AsYa as a couple.I watched the show to see Asad change because there are people like Asad..
Laila: Ok watch it for the reason you want, but be prepared that this will brushed under the rug after tomorrow.
The slap is not justified but it is necessary for the plot,maybe to change Asad.And KSG and Surbhi are just playing the characters,so now stop blaming them.Nor Zoya is wrong,nor Asad!Both are justifiable in their positions.It is just a matter of opinion of how people see them.
Laila: How was it necessary? Do you build a romance on a slap?
Did I say they are going to build romance on a slap?No.I am saying some people change!You cannot be pessismistic that people don't change.This happens with many people,you know?Children who have grown up seeing divorces,parental fights or suffered in life tend to react unlike some other people.Maybe the show is trying to show that.Now you'll ask me why Zoya is not like that?Because I said SOME.
And the other reason is she's brought up in USA.In some places in India,people keep taunting you when one parent leaves.These things affect how a child has been brought up.Asad has become defensive and impulsive,and doesn't want anything to happen to his mother and sister.Nobody else matters to him!
Laila: Ma'am, I can be anything I want. The show is trying to build a romance on an abusive relationship - that is exactly what you implied when you said it was necessary. Explain otherwise. We know he doesn't want anything to happen to his mother and sister - so what is your point here? That it legitmized slapping her? 
I just want to conclude that this is not promoting "domestic violence".Do you think a person is going to watch the show and say he is slapping the heroine,I will also slap other people. If it happened that way,then every husband would be romancing with his wife at every opportunity given as the daily soaps show.If people take wrong things,why can't they take right things?
Instead of going on and about how the show is about domestic violence,you can atleast go and help those people.This site is full of teenagers,your long messages about helping those people isn't going to change their mind.That is why I want the show to raise the issue!Because when the villain does it,the people don't mind but since the main lead is doing this,and they try to change him then maybe people will learn.
Laila: You really are not understanding what this has conveyed to the young girls here do you? You have completely missed the point. When a positive character legitimizes something that is wrong, it is very serious. We have a lot of young impressionable young girls who think this is acceptable...if one girl learns it is not, then everything is well wroth it.
And what makes you think I don't help people? Mmm? You're awfully rude telling me what to do - kind of like telling me to get lost. Not cool.
Laila2009
