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Discuss about THE SLAP Here! NO New Topics! (Page 2)

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Laila2009

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Laila2009

Joined: 27 October 2009

Posts: 7412

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
One of the biggest issues i have is how this slap has been justified as valid because a life was put in danger. Anger is justified but simply slapping someone is wrong no matter what. the person who did this was a gun man and his uncle - go after them. Don't take it out on the person who is there. The justification of the slap really bothers me. This is simply not done. Foul language, yelling etc - fine..this was uncalled for. 

The goal of the writers is to build a romance...how do you build a romance on a abusive encounter - an ugly slap? The writers have simply had Asad feel bad and then hand her some coffee Ouch Sad...it just bothers me to see how this incident is going to be romanticized. 

A real man never slaps a woman...if he cannot get his point across without violence, then he has a real issue and by making Asad slap Zoya, his character has been ruined...probably way beyond repair for me and that has ruined this show for me, my sister and friends...we might continue to watch...but not with the same enjoyment. 

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narangi314

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narangi314

Joined: 30 November 2009

Posts: 4569

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 6:18pm | IP Logged

The Feb. 4th episode of QH was regressive TV at it's worst. It sought to normalize an act of violence. What's even more obscene is that it tried to portray violence as part of romance between a man and woman. Such portrayals only perpetuate the cycle of abuse against women: abuse-apology-forgiveness-abuse-apology-forgiveness...ad nauseum, ad infinitum. This is dysfunctional and unhealthy and socially irresponsible. It is NOT entertainment.

As for "justification" - there was none. In my book, the only time violence can be justified is when it is in self-defense. That does not apply here. As for this act being "natural", there too I will strongly disagree. Yes, we are all subject to our baser natures. But what makes us civilized is our ability to control ourselves. What distinguishes us from other species is our ability to make ethical decisions - to know right from wrong. 

All that we saw on Feb. 4th was brutish act of violence. It was not provoked, it was not justified, and it was certainly not romantic.

Why am I making such a big deal of this?

Because I believe that what we see on TV and in movies and other media, has social consequences. There is enough scholarly research that connects societal attitudes (including violence) to media. Therefore, it is important to me to be an informed viewer, to be an informed consumer of entertainment. Often we are told by the entertainment industry, that "we make such movies, or such shows because that what sells, that's what you buy." Well, I don't want to buy this. So I make my voice heard. I want to make sure that makers know there are people who feel strongly that the abuse of women cannot be the subject of entertainment or cannot be taken lightly and irresponsibly.

Sure I might be in the minority now, but I am confident, that one day that will not be the case.

Mira


Edited by narangi314 - 05 February 2013 at 6:50pm

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Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4734

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 7:29pm | IP Logged
The extract below was what I earlier posted and they closed it for reasons I am unable to comprehend...whereas...there are numerous posts open where they are defending the Slap and Violence...ppl are ridiculing Zoya and are even going forward in saying that she deserved it. 

So my question to the moderators is ... Are you being fair? A third person would say NO. You are openly being partial ... 

I will not tolerate this kind of discrimination and report this incident to the respective people who has the authority to see into the matter with an open and impartial mind.

Now friends...this is my earlier post...

i live in USA and I work in a domestic violence shelter...I see victims of domestic violence and interact with them on a daily basis...in general women here are very aware of their rights and specially the laws. Women in general has zero tolerance towards any kind of violence against them or the children...there is a 911 service where anyone irrespective of women or men is protected by the law enforcement. If reported no one can get away with a crime and especially a crime like domestic violence or child abuse.

I am appalled at the fact that such haneous crime against women are been promoted in national television and is been treated so casually. Keeping in mind Zoya is an Indian American and very aware of her rights and surroundings hasn't shown to take any action against Asad...I know the circumstances and she might be feeling guilty...but the least I wanted to see was her out of the house. But looking at the SBS segment it looks like she will continue to stay in the house and has forgiven him. 

So basically Ms Gul has successfully turned an extremely smart, independent and self respected woman like Zoya into a person with no self respect. Zoya was the reason I still kept on returning to watch QH but this whole scenario of domestic violence and Zoya's acceptance of this crime in return has shocked me. 

I thought the mentality of Indian men towards women will change after the very dreadful and shocking incident that happened in Delhi...but, like many others I was wrong too...some things never change and unfortunately the state of affairs of women will not change either...women will be battered...tortured both mentally and physically...will keep on getting raped ...and maritally raped...there will be women feoticide...women will be killed for dowry...and such haneous crimes will continue because the women will not speak out or stand up for themselves in the very patriarchal and male chauvinistic society.

As a woman I am just grateful to my parents that they brought me far away from that society when I was 6 and has giving me the right and privilege to live a free life as a woman in USA. USA is not free of crimes or pesticides violence either...but here a woman is not stigmatized or is in fear to go to the police...here I know that if I am attacked...I have the liberty to call 911 and the police will find me in 10 minutes and will listen to me whether judging me. 

We as women have a voice and in majority cases the voice is heard...so Ms Khan...you portraying as a woman who didn't stand up against domestic violence is not acceptable.

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narangi314

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narangi314

Joined: 30 November 2009

Posts: 4569

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
@Rupunzel

Thanks for re-posting. I am pasting my response again.

The problem of domestic violence is extremely pervasive in India. Women's groups have been fighting for better laws for decades. The Protection of Women against Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) came as late as 2005! It was a landmark piece of legislation in many ways (such as bringing people who cohabit into the ambit of the law, not just married couples), but still leaves much to be desired.Not all states have even ratified it yet I believe! The problem with the definition of domestic violence that many people are having just shows how ignorant people are of the law. There doesn't have to be a romantic (!) or marital or familial relationship between the abuser and the abused. That's what the PWDVA act of 2005 did - expand the scope! "Domestic" means having a shared household! 


Have you read about the recent ordinance that was passed by the govt. as a half-hearted adoption of the Verma committee report ? Can you believe that "marital rape" is still considered controversial in India?! They need to "debate" this before making it illegal! That is how behind we are.

Anyway, did you see the Sataymev Jayate episode on domestic violence? It was the second episode I think. It's worth watching to get a sense of how pervasive and casual it is and how it cuts across all communities and socio-economic groups. 

It goes without saying that violence against women is a global reality, but we have a long way to go in India.


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Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4734

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
Many are stigmatizing us ( ppl talking against violence) by saying that ...we are somewhere supporting a woman hitting a man...

Please let me explain ...none of my friends nor me have ever supported violence against a man...

We are voicing against Violence...it doesn't matter whether its against a man or a woman...

Violence is unacceptable period. 

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Aalia_A

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Aalia_A

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 316

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 8:02pm | IP Logged
I'm honestly surprised that many threads which had the most insightful and civilized discussions going on were closed Confused Anyways I'm making it a point to report every pro-slap and drooling-over-the-hotness-of the-slap threads because they should not be open either. It thoroughly escapes me why we cannot have a mature critical discussion on this forum Thumbs Down

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narangi314

IF-Dazzler

narangi314

Joined: 30 November 2009

Posts: 4569

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 8:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Rupunzale

Many are stigmatizing us ( ppl talking against violence) by saying that ...we are somewhere supporting a woman hitting a man...

Please let me explain ...none of my friends nor me have ever supported violence against a man...

We are voicing against Violence...it doesn't matter whether its against a man or a woman...

Violence is unacceptable period. 


But that is totally illogical! 


Edited by narangi314 - 05 February 2013 at 8:01pm

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adeeti10Rupunzale

Rupunzale

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Rupunzale

Joined: 05 June 2012

Posts: 4734

Posted: 05 February 2013 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by narangi314

@Rupunzel

Thanks for re-posting. I am pasting my response again.

The problem of domestic violence is extremely pervasive in India. Women's groups have been fighting for better laws for decades. The Protection of Women against Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) came as late as 2005! It was a landmark piece of legislation in many ways (such as bringing people who cohabit into the ambit of the law, not just married couples), but still leaves much to be desired.Not all states have even ratified it yet I believe! The problem with the definition of domestic violence that many people are having just shows how ignorant people are of the law. There doesn't have to be a romantic (!) or marital or familial relationship between the abuser and the abused. That's what the PWDVA act of 2005 did - expand the scope! "Domestic" means having a shared household! 


Have you read about the recent ordinance that was passed by the govt. as a half-hearted adoption of the Verma committee report ? Can you believe that "marital rape" is still considered controversial in India?! They need to "debate" this before making it illegal! That is how behind we are.

Anyway, did you see the Sataymev Jayate episode on domestic violence? It was the second episode I think. It's worth watching to get a sense of how pervasive and casual it is and how it cuts across all communities and socio-economic groups. 

It goes without saying that violence against women is a global reality, but we have a long way to go in India.


hi naraangi ( sorry , don't know your name)...i am Priyanka...I recently read an article in Huffington post about " marital rape" still considered as controversial in India...honestly,I am not shocked. Can you imagine a woman being blamed for been raped...there has been numerous cases where they said the woman asked for it because she was inappropriately dressed or she was drunk or she was the one who accompanied  the rapist. People still don't get the idea that it doesn't matter how she was dressed or she was alone or not or she was drunk... If she says NO to sex...it's rape... It falls in the marital rape laws too.

Did you know  some think that Slapping doesn't fall in the category of violence and think that to define domestic violence the woman and man has to be romantically involved...? 




Edited by Rupunzale - 05 February 2013 at 8:08pm

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