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DOTW - Gender-Bias (Page 2)

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-AarYaholic-

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Posted: 07 February 2013 at 4:08am | IP Logged
We girls should be called unfortunate, that we are able to write on this topic...its our misfortune that we have experienced such things hitherto

A woman's/female's fight starts right from her birth..."should we give birth to a girl child", "will we able to cope up with the burdens that will increase and keep increasing till she one day leaves for her house"

Yes, the previous members were right when they said, it is we women who do not regard respect to each other...The few instances named above by you members are very well known and experienced by so many women unfortunately!

MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT EQUALS...no one can even think of equating the two, they will remain different for me forever

Coming to some contemporary issues :
A self-proclaimed Godman, blames a girl for not being able to protect herself from a sexual attack...he thinks, begging before the perpetrators and folding her hands would have not lead to this attack on her modesty!...Now could this man for his God's sake tell me how he came to this pitiable conclusion...why in the world did he think all a woman can do is to beg before her (superior) species of males?...What kind of world are these people living in? what kinds of morals do they possess and what kind of message do they wish to give to India's younger males

Another self-proclaimed Godman...he voluntarily bans a group of female artists, thereby imposing a Fatwa (A ruling on a point of Islamic law given by a recognized authority.)

We women should learn respecting and believing in ourselves...would a female employee like to wait for some overtime hours in her office? Most probably not...thus, males are often given precedence at times, in fact, I'e read things like "We do not hire women" just because women will not be able to dedicate as much time as their male counterparts would

Its a collective responsibility of all to eradicate this from our society...but look what's happening around...I'll share some info I had come across a few months ago

 - If a boy is asked if only one of the two, a son or a daughter would be given a chance to go to school, who should it be?
The boy answers, it should be the son, since daughters are bound to get married and go away..the parents should rather think about giving the son a better future

 - If we ask him, is it okay to physically abuse one's wife if she disagrees and keeps violating your commands...
He surprisingly says Yes again!

This is not what today's male generation should be like...we have shed so many disgraceful beliefs, then why couldn't anyone do away with this one?

I think I am biased too...towards the females, both the kinds of biases are unacceptable, but I don't think mine shall go that easily

P.S : This is one of the finest discussions we could have had..come on PVians, lets get more views)

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Kittya_Cullen

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 2:58am | IP Logged
This is a fantastic topic, but the fact remains that we have to find a way to share this beyond our niche in India-Forums.  However, since we are discussing this, let's not only look at the world beyond Punar Vivaah. 

From the time that I have been watching Indian television content, it has portrayed more wrongs against females than the other material I've viewed. (Now believe me when I say that I have been through content from English culture, Chinese culture, African culture, etc. so I am not speaking simply for the sake of speaking.) There were often times when I wondered what in God's name I was watching, for I would be at my wits end staring at yet another woman crying her heart out at her state of helplessness because it was in her "destiny" and the "right" thing to do. Now, I agree, not all Indian/Asian television content is like this, but like I said, I am going to examine our Punar Vivaah.

In a show which was considered a strong advocate for bringing societal injustices back into active discussions, there are a few things that have not been addressed still. For example, the entire phase of Aarti's post-Mumbai life, not the PPM (Post post Mumbai where Yash is an angel turn god). 

Now like any other viewer, I do not expect perfection in my television content, but I could not believe that some viewers were actually alright with the maltreatment Aarti had received from Yash. I agree that as a wife, a woman should stand beside her husband and help him through the various situations in his life. However, can anyone here really say that they would have allowed their sister, daughter, mother or friend to remain in that situation if it were in the real world? If the answer is yes, then surely we need to re-examine our standpoint on what a woman should or should not accept from her male counterpart, isn't that so?

Now let's say that I choose to overlook that which has occurred in the journey that led to Yash becoming his PPM self. I am still unsure of how I feel about him hurting his wife because he thought that she had committed infidelity. I'm referring to the armband moment. As a viewer, I agree, Gurmeet did come across as attractive in the darker avatar, but is that really something that any parent or sister would want her son or brother idolising? 

"When I grow up I want to be just like Yash!"Confused

Alrighty then, so say I ignore all of that for the sake of love, and I glance around India-Forums, not PV only but other forums and enter into the world of fan fictions. Everyone's "favourite" reading material. The "angry young man" concept. Compare these FFs to the viewer content. Believe it or not, most of them are actually different! And not in a good way. In the television shows, these "angry young men" who manhandle, mistreat and fling their lady loves around all in the name of the classic love/hate relationship do not do so simply for the sake of it. There is usually some deep rooted problem stemming from years of some crap not worked out nicely in a gym or therapy room. Now in the case of the FFs, some writers have missed this concept altogether and are simply spawning angry young men, whose jealousies, mistreatment of their female counterpart, and insulting words are the epitome of romance. Meri Bhagwan ki kasamh! Do you REALLY want a man who flings you against the wall because you forgot to iron his socks precisely at 9.46 p.m.? Sure, that is a hyperbole, but it just looks that way to me in terms of the content being spewed. At first, things like that can be over looked, but then we get the "rape" FFs, shows, etc. My turn to say "what the rumplefunk is that?!" How is it entertaining to see or read that some woman falls in love with a man who brutally raped her? Or how is it "love" when an angry husband forces himself on his wife? Errmmm...W*F?! Simply, reading such things tells me that the material being shown on television is being internalised, but not correctly. It's changing the compass's distinction between acceptable, and good versus dangerous and unhealthy. If that's what is being revealed by the young, impressionable writers and some not so young writers, then it makes it appear that we have become so numb to these events they now look "cool", "hot", and "romantic". Yeah...that's really what I want in my life, some angry idiot who barely misses punching my face by smashing the mirror instead...of course I then lovingly wrap his hurt fist up with a piece of my expensive, hard to come by clothing so that he can then push me away in "angst".

All of these things have become such a norm in entertainment content geared toward female viewers, that one has to wonder what information is being absorbed. How can we talk about males needing to respect us, as human beings and females when some of us have ceased to do so? Shouldn't it be troubling that we have rallies and protests demanding people not to abort girl babies, but we don't mind watching someone constantly yap on about males carrying on the family line and name? How is it that we can become upset by a television character being thrown around the room, but if a daughter or niece shows even the slightest indignation at her brother slapping his wife, or some other unfortunate female, she too receives reprimands and silence? 

It is scary that any woman stands the chance of being mistreated by the males in her life, but it is even worse when other women become enablers in the situation. I'm fed up of viewing depictions of helpless women "shuttering" their eyes and conscience by lifting the edges of their pallu. How can we expect sons, and brothers and nephews to grow into decent individuals when double standards exist all around unchecked? Like other posters have mentioned so far in this discussion, women themselves advocate the "male is better than female" perspective. Sure, in all religions, there comes a point where it is stated that the man is the head of the woman. However, where in any of these religious texts, etc does it say to disrespect your wife or mother? How can there be a religion where men worship GODDESSES and still think it's fair to eat in comfort, while their wives stand behind them to serve them after hours of chores before they can also eat?

All in all, I guess what I'm saying is that Gender Bias has become such a norm in our respective societies that sometimes we don't even notice these things. And that is where the darkness slips in and destroys our various generations, giving us beasts and demons for future husbands, mother in laws, sons, brothers, and other poor misguided, uninformed, ignorant souls.

(Sorry for the rant you guys, but this is something I feel strongly about. Don't even get me started on my views about marriage and my perceptions of the Hindu wedding vows.)




Edited by Kittya_Cullen - 08 February 2013 at 3:10am

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ..Sadiie..

Oh don't get me started on this topic!

 

 

BIAS WORLD! Pinch

 

Period!

 

Woman are treated SO Unfairly that it is hard to say "Humanity exists". And the sad thing is, such woman are SO Bloody forgiving, giving an upper hand to the man who's done wrong! *Face palm*

 

'Your Husband cheats on you; the woman forgives him saying "he was strayed" whereas if the woman cheats on her man, she's a wh**e.'

W*F!

 

Okay either way the man and the woman are wrong but WHY the Bias behaviour when a Woman does it?!

 

 

The woman is made to change herself and mould herself into this Man's world, where she HAS to be a step behind the man and let him have the upper hand in everything.

 

 

I have 3 sisters (I wanna kill one of the chit today Angry)

And you'll have these stupid aunties going to my mum "Oh so sad..you don't have a son"

 

HOW RUDE!

 

How dare you indirectly say I and my sisters are UNLUCKY To have a brother?!

 

This is mainly on the mentality of the people that are around you. I'm a huge Rebel, I don't give two hooties to such crap my Family talks about now and then (Yes, typical Asian family that HAS such a mentality..we're the only ones that have no brothers but sisters so everyone discourages us by saying we're unlucky to have a brother. They go and say "Maybe one of you sisters could have been a boy and it would have changed everything; note, EVERYTHING." Kill me already Dead ) Instead, I'm making a point by showing em all a woman CAN Be as good as A man. Hoping I can succeed in that.. Stern Smile


Sadiie x


@bold: abd this is wht pisses me off the most Angry

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
not only girls but even guys are being discriminated against for example

a guy hits a girl (I'm not saying this is correct) but everyone is quick to jump on his case and say "u don't have any upbringing, is this what ur mother thought u... blah...blah...blah"

a girl hits a guy for no reason " very good this proves tht the girl is strong and can handle herself and I'm sure the guy was probably touching her or sumthing"
 I mean this is so sickening there are miserable girls out there who hit guys for nothing, sum of them even take advantage of the principle "a guy can't hit a girl" and bullies the guy. Yes I hit guys too but only when they aren't listening to me lyk if I am telling them to leave me alone abt 3-4 times and they don't listen to me I will hit them to let them knw their place but I won't hit a guy for no reason at all.
I think some girls need to knw tht it is not right to bully guys and take advantage of their niceness or else it can be turned around on them one day


Edited by swaggerchick16 - 08 February 2013 at 12:59pm

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 1:11pm | IP Logged
Agreed Kesh!

Edited by Kittya_Cullen - 08 February 2013 at 2:44pm

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
also another thing is rape

when a guy rapes a girl its a huge thing sometimes ppl make it into a big thing although in some countries ppl just mind their own business which I hate
but wht really irks me is wen a girl rapes a guy ppl laugh at him, make fun of him don't believe him etc. I mean y can't ppl stand up for a guy and support him if a girl rapes him these things happen u knw

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 1:29pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by swaggerchick16

also another thing is rape

when a guy rapes a girl its a huge thing sometimes ppl make it into a big thing although in some countries ppl just mind their own business which I hate
but wht really irks me is wen a girl rapes a guy ppl laugh at him, make fun of him don't believe him etc. I mean y can't ppl stand up for a guy and support him if a girl rapes him these things happen u knw


It's a harder violation to prove. Unless a female uses a foreign object on the male, you really can't prove that he was raped. Rape is still predominantly considered an invasive crime and biologically speaking males are the ones seen as capable of being s*xually invasive. I can only imagine that makes it harder for male victims of s*x crimes perpetrated by females. For any victim of s*xual misconduct not being believed is equally as traumatising as the experience. In fact it makes the experience worse since there is a sense of vulnerability.

Since we're on this, what about male victims of domestic abuse. It exists but we hardly ever hear about it. Once again- Gender Bias.


Edited by Kittya_Cullen - 08 February 2013 at 2:44pm

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Posted: 08 February 2013 at 1:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kittya_Cullen

Originally posted by swaggerchick16

also another thing is rape

when a guy rapes a girl its a huge thing sometimes ppl make it into a big thing although in some countries ppl just mind their own business which I hate
but wht really irks me is wen a girl rapes a guy ppl laugh at him, make fun of him don't believe him etc. I mean y can't ppl stand up for a guy and support him if a girl rapes him these things happen u knw


T's a harder violation to prove. Unless a female uses a foreign object on the male, you really can't prove that he was raped. Rape is still predominantly considered an invasive crime and biologically speaking males are the ones seen as capable of being s*xually invasive. I can only imagine that makes it harder for male victims of s*x crimes perpetrated by females. For any victim of s*xual misconduct not being believed is equally as traumatising as the experience. In fact it makes the experience worse since there is a sense of vulnerability.

Since we're on this, what about male victims of domestic abuse. It exists but we hardly ever hear about it. Once again- Gender Bias.

yes n tht is wrong and the biggest gender biased thing in trinidad is tht guys get to go out and do whtever they want, while girls have to stay home and cook roti huhAngry

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