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On becoming responsible parents

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swasthi

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swasthi

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
At which point does one become a responsible parent?

Is it when you are seen caring for your child? Perhaps when others know that you are looking after your child? How about when you find yourself giving a bit away each time when you are with your child?  

It seems to all sound confusing? 

For Ahem this has been a life changing moment as he was just getting to know his wife and had wanted to spend more time with her. For Gopi this has been a blessing as it was an extension of her love to Ahem. Through her self sacrificial ways she looked forward and now is always there for their child.

Both of them believe in taking care of each others needs regardless of how their day was when spent apart. Both regard each other as one who cannot be without the other, hence their team effort in caring and looking after their child. The rhythm of life moves forward for them in synergy with their child.

For Rashi her desire to want a child stemmed from seeing the material gains Gopi enjoyed on becoming a mother. Now with the child she is making sure that others, including Jigar, will have to mend their ways to cater for her childs' needs. She has even shown that she is willing to do anything, including altering the pressure cooker, just to have her child sleeping. For Jigar he wanted to satisfy his wife's desire and complied to her, all because he loves her. Had he not been told to help out he would have willingly done the tasks, but once he was told he loathed it. Even then, when he gave in he was still told off. The rhythm of life for them, especially for Rashi, is to have their child to be central in their life.

So, at which point does one become a responsible parent?

What do you think?

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NazimKiDewani

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
wow...Swasthi is back with has post.. Great post Star

well for me parenthood is like taking caring for ur child ont only mother infect father also put their effort..coz baby is for both not only mother... Today this thing we clearly seening in GoHem..being responsible father Ahem knows his reponsibilities he also knows Meera chores isnt only for Gopi he also putting his shares.. Ahem is become a long way..our arrogant n anger man now become fully caring n lovable hubby n daddy.. He knows how much Gopi does work whole day n also she had Meera chores.. He itself not feeling well but beside all..he loving do his daughter work..Ahem retruning home early n stressing i felt it just a reason for spending some quality time with Gopi n Meera.. After Meera awake.. Ahem wide smile or brighten face to seen his princess awake now he ready to play with was remarkable though.. Embarrassed or Gopi also understand Ahem's gesture or his unconditional love n concren for Meera hence why she after one stop dont forcing him alot n let them do what he want.. GoHem understand n love shows their muturity abt their relatioship n parenthood.. Smile

now as for RaJi concren..so i strongly felt after todays their arugment..they are not ready for any other responsibility.. Here Rashi gets irritate, there Jigar get furstated.. Both still not understand the fect of parenthood..i know its takes time or i want Rashi especially will understand this or not throwing tantrums on Jigar for baby.. In RaJi today i seen lack of muturity.. Both sounds so much childish.. Rashi ordering on Jigar n Jigat gets irritate for doing.. Baby handling isnt a easy task..how they become furstated only in one night.. Rashi complaing abt less sleep Jigar also..we never heard Ahem complaning abt this..Meera also cries whole night.. RaJi will takes time to understand the fact.. Smile especially Rashi..coz baby is her willing not Jigar's..now then she have baby so handling him like all mothers does..why she complaning Ouch


Edited by -GiNa- - 30 January 2013 at 12:59pm

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Justlikethat1

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Amazing post Swasthi and very balanced on how the two couples reacted to being parentsClap I wish I had the same generous view on RaJi that you have. But still here is what I felt seeing the episode.

GoHem:

Gopi and Ahem have grown solidly in their relation before and after they became parents.. Is it because Ahem had time to see how much Gopi cared? Is it because he enjoyed being part of his baby, their love growing and finally taking shape in the form of a girl that he so much wished for? But there it is.. Their love shines in their eyes as both Gopi and Ahem look at each other and see their souls mingle as they try to outdo each other.

Mingled with this love is the respect for each that shines and for me so important. Smile Woman who stay at home are not on a picnic like Rashi called it. They have hundreds of things to do everyday. Similarly men working put in a lot of work. In a family there needs to be a balance and a respect between spouses.
A very solid respect for the other makes life easier and also instills confidence and happiness in the marital life. GoHem seem to have found that balance. Ahem's obvious understanding of just how much work Gopi does at home and Gopi's worry and concern about Ahem and his health.. These two respect each other and care of each other a lot. Their love adds to this and now with Meera, their life revolves around her.

It is heartening to see Gopi giving Ahem the confidence to be himself with his daughter. A new dad, Ahem is still a little worried about whether he is doing all the right things and like the saathiya she is, Gopi is assuring him at every step that all Ahem needs to do is be himself. His daughter will love them both like her parents love each otherSmile

RaJi:

Their bickering today reminded me of all those things this couple forgot to talk through before jumping in for an adoption. I get Rashi and Jigar's anger at each other. However the anger and irritation at each other is too early and the way Rashi keeps demanding that she be listened to really does rile Jigar up a lot. 

Unfortunately, although these two have got a child, the child is highlighting the lack of understanding and trust between these two. Today Rashi's need for help from Jigar was right but what was wrong was the way she assumed and demanded Jigar to help her. Given her husband's nature, he would have come to her aid if she had been politer and had made it a request. But Rashi considers that she is entitled to demand and also Get everything she demands because she has Vansh now. Unfortunately Vansh is not a leverage to get her things..

Jigar on the other hand I think is ill prepared to handle all this. He is also human. His work at office finds little appreciation with his wife and he comes home to a highly irritated and often gets high handed treatment from his wife. 

A marriage needs to have appreciation between two partners and that is missing between these two. Unfortunately I do not see that happening between Rashi or Jigar. Rashi does not respect Jigar and his work.. Jigar finds Rashi childish but cannot handle her in any other way other than giving in to her demands..
Vansh unfortunately happens to be in the middle of this all. So the question remains as to whether Rashi or Jigar really love Vansh as their own or are they taking care of him because to one, he is the way to fulfill her dreams and to another, he is the way to have his home quieter. Confused

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Xarina

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
Yayyy!!!!  Welcome back Swasthi and good post.  There are many emotions that figure in becoming a good parent. What you see Ahem and Gopi expressing is a love and understanding for each other.  The cliched wheels of a bicylcle come to mind.  They are cycling in perfect harmony with little Meera sitting on the handle bars.  This is something which Rashi and Jigar never had and may not have for some time.  Their bike is punctured and the wheels are buckled.  Hence the irritation and one upmanship that is taking place between them.

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cvdprasad

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
Was waiting for your post...
Lovely post as Always...

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delsi

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
Wonderful post Swasthi
todays scene prove how he has been changed it was mindblowingSmile
Ahem become more and more caring and lovable to his daughter and towards his wife, he is willing share his wife duties,and do whole heartely he comes home only to spend time with his wife and daughter, he di't want to leave a few second from both of them that why he execused from his work and join to his angel din't mind of his headhe but once he saw she is sleeping peacefully he shift his gase to his wife who work whole day and help her lovingly after he saw Meera awake he become more enthusistic to join her what a cute lovable fatherSmile
 
 
 

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ANJ4

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 11:51pm | IP Logged
loved the way ahem started to help ... clean up and folding clothes without been told ... what a wonderful husband...   how he has changed is right ...

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-nilani-

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Posted: 31 January 2013 at 2:18am | IP Logged
After along long timeTongue
Nicely written as alwaysTongue

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