Joined: 18 January 2006
Joined: 02 September 2012
Joined: 29 January 2010
Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
Joined: 20 June 2008
Joined: 03 September 2012
If I understand correctly ( I could be wrong) the bones of contention she has with you are
- You accused women of being stupid or suffering Stockholm syndrome for not leaving abusive relationships. This is a quite common misconception and is a major sore spot for victims and those who have worked with victims. For the longest time I used to think the same as well ' I don't let anyone even talk balk to me let alone beat, have some self respect, just leave. Upon growing older and seeing women in society, I understood that it is easier said than done. There are many factors make leaving an abusive relationship a complex and difficult issue. From what I understand the worst most demeaning thing to tell an abuse victim is "Why don't you just leave?"Each case of abusive relationship is unique and the conversation starter should be "What is going on here and what is the best way to go about helping the victim"
- You seemed to state that this was only an "Indian issue". A lot of people from the west tend to view only India. Middle East or similar developing nations as the only places that have misogynist abusive cultures. That is an offensive and hurtful stereotype, and another hot button issue. The truth is that it is a global issue. The only difference tends to be how society views women's right and abuse.
- You also want to try to retrofit the western approach to abuse to India. The problem is that each society and culture is so different that one size fits all solutions tend to make matters worse. The problem is that many men haven't even been taught how to treat women and what constitutes abuse. Society doesn't understand the need for a woman to leave such relationships. Before we even tackle abuse, we have the daunting task of addressing these hurdles.
You may mean the best, but these opinions sometimes come off as brazen or unfair.
Joined: 16 May 2012
Joined: 21 February 2008
1. Report incidences of domestic violence that one notices in ones neighbourhood to a designated helpline. Waiting for a victim to lodge a complaint doesn't seem very logical.
2. More pro-active role by the Woman and child commission and NGOs in the country.
3. On receiving complaints the commission needs to ensure that prompt and stern action is taken
4. Regular visits to such homes by social workers/volunteers /NGOs to ensure safety of the woman
5. Support offered to the woman in the form of some vocational training and opportunities to earn a decent livelihood.
6. Decent crche facilities for the women's kids so that she can work without worrying about them.
7. Make domestic violence punishable. ( Short term jail would suffice in most cases to put the fear even in men claiming to possess a "spine" who somehow always prefer to marry spineless women!)
8. Professional counseling for the couple .
9. Repeat offenders to get jail term with compulsory training to make round chappatis. If they fail shove toilet paper down their throats.
10. Set up Reformatory Homes for repeat domestic abusers. Unlike the juvenile board there should be no release unless certified as reformed.
*Feel free to add to the list …
Joined: 07 October 2012
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