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Is it OK to be a wife beater? (Page 5)

return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 11:31am | IP Logged
^^

IMO, feminism unfortunately has a negative connotation. Feminism is merely ensuring equal opportunity, dignity and respect for both men and women and trying to undo generations of patriarchy. If men choose to stand up for their mothers, sisters, wives, daughters and friends, I personally find that impressive and honorable. There are male feminists, and there is absolutely nothing wrong in being one. I'd like to take the negative connotation out of feminism and also combat the stereotypes like mahila mandal and feminazis.


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BirdieNumNum Senior Member
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 11:53am | IP Logged

i dont get all the violence. If you must beat, then beat an egg. Better still, just beat it if you are not already beat or look all beat-up.LOL

bottom-line, never hit women. Instead let them hit on you.Wink LOL

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TheBoss

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Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 11:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

Thing is I feel like you are getting worked up, while Im discussing the issue you are questioning my intent and agendas behind it. And not sure why me questioning some issues makes me a feminist or somebody from the mahila mandal?


A feminist is someone who has an analysis of gender and power in the world. Everyone should aspire to that, I think. It's a moral response to systemic inequality.

Intent and agenda matter a lot. There are a lot of do-gooders in the world with little actual compassion or analysis of the circumstances of the people they are proclaiming to save. Your posts are supposedly full of outrage against the way women are treated, but they also contain a lot of assumptions within them that I am challenging, and that others have also challenged. When you post something in a debate forum about such a serious topic, you are going to get responses, including critical ones that challenge your assumptions. You don't have to take them up. You could just ignore it if you want.

However, I think it's really counter productive to tell me that I'm "getting worked up" and it's also a really stereotypical response to a critical response from a woman, unfortunately.

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LovesLowCulture

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Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
I want to make sure you understand something. I am not downplaying gender violence (if any of my posts in ever have, feel free to point out how and where) in any part of the world. It is wrong, but it is also "thick-headed" to blame women for not having a hollywoodesque response to it, where they pick up their things and walk out. Real life is complicated, so just give women who suffer violence some credit. Your over the top characterization of women who are victims/survivors of violence, and your use of extreme stereotypes do not exactly help one discuss this topic with a level of seriousness.

I am opposed to anyone making sweeping generalizations about an entire ethnicity of people or an entire region of the world. Especially when they know so little about all the people in that part of the world who are fighting against oppression in so many ways. It is disrespectful to their struggle, and frankly it follows a racist logic. Not everyone thinks the same way in South Asia because our social position and privilege has a lot to do with what we experience and how we think.

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TheBoss

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
Its not my assumptions its opinions and we all have one just as you do. Besides Im not saving anyone, Im no messiah Im simply speaking out things that I have witnessed first hand.

You being a woman, or me being a man does not make me or you qualified or unqualified to say who are right. Just because Im a man does not mean Im a feminist, infact the feminists would hate me for the kind of person Im.

I just have an issue with how you deem me unfit to speak my mind and label me with siding with the white folks, being a feminist, being a man, being ill-informed as if your solution to keeping quite to the wrong doing is the right way of going by.

How about you respect the fact that there are a lot of men who are not OK with the shit that goes on in the world and they are just doing their part in pointing them out instead of joining the masses and it does not make them a documentary maker or a feminist looking to get their 15 seconds of fame.
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Kasturi, RKS Banner Contest Winner
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
I think I have been fairly clear, but I won't ask you to read my posts if you don't want to.

You're victimizing yourself as if you've been subject to some kind of attack on this thread. You have simply received some challenges to the assumptions that underlie your opinions, particularly about your repeated generalizations, and about your lack of respect for women's sometimes contradictory and difficult choices in their own lives. How about you respect that?

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TheBoss

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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by --arti--

I think I have been fairly clear, but I won't ask you to read my posts if you don't want to.

You're victimizing yourself as if you've been subject to some kind of attack on this thread. You have simply received some challenges to the assumptions that underlie your opinions, particularly about your repeated generalizations, and about your lack of respect for women's sometimes contradictory and difficult choices in their own lives. How about you respect that?

If it happens too often then its no longer generalization. Feel free to drinking the kool-aid and thinking everything is jolly and well in our community and those evil Americans are the real problem. I just don't believe in turning the other cheek over and letting people walk over yourself because I deem myself to be feeble and weak, gladly there are a lot of strong women who are emerging from these societal shackles and standing up pound for pound to be independent, strong and wise.

Anyways lets agree to disagree with move on, we just feel strongly about the same issue. We just have a different way of looking at it.
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Posted: 30 January 2013 at 12:43pm | IP Logged
Actually no, because your response to my response is to say that I must be weak or drinking the kool-aid. You get that that's disrespectful, right? You have no idea about my own life experience or what kind of work against domestic violence I might be involved in. Does it occur to you that maybe you are wrong about some things? That your view on this issue isn't as evolved as you think it is?

BTW, by generalization, I was referring to how you refer to "our community" and "people back home" as if they are all idiots. Which is also disrespectful. There are women in India who could school you on gender violence, left, right and centre.


Edited by --arti-- - 30 January 2013 at 12:42pm

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