[QUOTE=koolsadhu1000]The reason i explained the past of Onir point was because it was brought up in this thread and i felt that it was accepted as a reason for getting out of the marraige by Purvi in the Purvi Onir marraige .
So i gave my opinion about how the past point was irrelevant .
But rayadallie i will now give a direct answer if u wish to ur direct and simple question .
If u fall in love and have the fortune to marry that very person , good for u .
If u get married to another person u can get out till children have not come in the picture if u feel that i just cannot forget the ex
But if children come in the picture , they have to be given priority than any personal feeling of 'love'
Children r a stamp or seal on the institution of marraige .
It then becomes a question of priorities . Children or love ?
Children , as they have a full life ahead of them and they did not ask to come in the world .
For them , one has to make the marraige work . There r no two ways about it .
One cannot go on fretting about past 'love' and break up marraige up for it ...it means you are giving priority to your personal feelings and not giving priority to life of children . It is a selfish act .
This pampering of your emotions even above little children is what i find as extremely spoilt behaviour .
If u put ur mind to it u can make ur marraige a success . U can love again . Love can be controlled , love can be channelised wisely .
The excuse for the divorce given is unhappy environment for children .
It seems this environment is there in the Arjun Ovi marraige . And it seems it will be very unhealthy for a child .
Well who has made the marraige unhappy by just not accepting Ovi ???
The problem is not from her side . She is ready to be a good wife , is a good bahu to his father and has no problems with him , she is ready to love him and make him happy .
It is he who is just not ready to give her a chance .
It is not even as if the wife is ugly or something . That he has to swallow it and make a big adjustment . Ovi is beautiful . She is ready to make any adjustment for him , she even wore a sari simply as he brought it though she wears dresses .
All she wants is a little love and a chance which he is just not ready to give .
He makes faces like he is swallowing bitter medicene and says 'yeah' with pained eyes .
How ridiculous , immature and spoilt is this decision of just not giving marraige a chance even when children come in the picture . Even when the wife is ready and willing .
Why go far . See Onir . That marraige is a success and has a loving environment for a child coz he is determined to make it a success . He is determined to give the child a loving environment . That marraige is a success bcoz of him , not bcoz of Purvi and her tyaags .
See Arjun . Onir is determined to make his marraige a success inspite of the child being not his own ...he is determined to do this as he believes that no child deserves an unhappy upbringing . But Arjun is not ready to make any adjustment emotionally even for the sake of his own blood . Constantly with his pained eyes and sighs and dialogues that he can love only the mother of his child and that he is doing a husband's duty by giving wife the necessities like food , shelter and clothing he gives his wife and marraige the message that love is even more important than children ...one must hang on to the memories for life [ whereas in Jab We Met it was shown it is best flushed down the toilet] he is obstinate about not making his marraige a success .
This obstinacy is hailed as love and applauded and it seems one must be even more obstinate and break up a marraige ...the excuse now being the happiness of the children
Children require stability ...first criteria of their happiness . Broken marraiges and destruction of their stability is not giving them this environment and if the adults need to put a lid on their feelings and grow up , they should .
Anything else is unacceptable .
Love stories on graves of children are the worst examples of spoilt behaviour .
[/QUOTE) I beg to differ as Staying in marriages that are not healthy just for the sake of children is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard of. Parents divorcing does not do any harm to the children if they both continue to play their part in their children's lives.
I am a result of a broken marriage when I was three mths old and it was not a love marriage. I grew up with my mother and grandparents and today I am proud of who I have become. Had my mother stayed in that marriage, I may not have her here with me up until now as she would have either commit suicide or die of stress at a young age. If I am not happy and stress free, how can I make someone happy - my children, my wife, my husband? I have to be happy and comfortable first and foremost before I can make anyone else around me happy.
Although many arranged marriages are successul, there are quite a lot that are not. I have been married for years and to someone I love and its a very different feeling than to live with someone you just cannot love. we are all human and i guess you would experience in someway that there are just some people you cannot handle no matter how much you try. It does not necessarily has to be a boyfriend, it could be your aunt, your cousin, a neighbour etc.
Sometimes i do think that people need to think fairly in the whole situation by looking at the cup half full and half empty at the same time. But I respect your opinion. no hard feelings sis
Edited by rayadallie - 30 January 2013 at 10:57am