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Misbehaviour with a girl by her own cousin

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ShivTRSS

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ShivTRSS

Joined: 15 September 2012

Posts: 3514

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 1:33am | IP Logged
A VERY SENSITIVE TOPIC- PLEASE DECIDE FOR YOURSELF

Hi guys,
I am here, first time creating a topic in Debate Mention, because I need an answer.
I am feeling really so much frustrated right now. But I suggest, read it, only if you think you are matured enough to take it and if you are not much sensitive.
This is probably the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of, so thats why.
Guys, mere ghar ke baju me ek ladki rehti he. Usaka naam Purva he aur bahot khubsoorat ladki he. She is 16 years old. And hamare aur usake ghar ke bich family jese hi relations he. She is my younger sister's best friend and looks upon me as an elder sister. Really very nice, humble and sensitive girl.
And a girl who never ever in her life thought bad about anyone. But from about two years, she is completely shaken up. Mene esa newspapers me etc suna tha, but never ever expected in my life that I will see such a thing.
Jab wo 14 years ki thi, then her own cousin- her mama's son, tried to misbehave with her. Mama's son, means technically, jis ladke ko usne rakhi bandhi thi hamesha se, jise bhai bhai kar ke wo bulati thi hamesha, that very bhai misbehaved with her. How disgusting!
And if that was not enough, he brainwashed her and threatened her. She, the girl who used to be very intelligent and brave, her cousin, brainwashed and misbehaved with her or tried to at least
And she was so innocent, that she did not know how to react to it. By sheer senses, she pushed him always, but the limit was when, about a month ago, he literally tried to misbehave with her and it made her snap.
She ran away from house, taking just some money, food and clothes and without telling anyone she ran away, because her cousin was going to stay there.
And you know, they are gujarati and very conservative family, jo bhagwan se dar ke chalate he, and esi condition me rehene wali ladki, she could not even share this with anyone. Because she knew nobody would trust her. Bas 2 sal se andar andar, kese react karu esa sochke ghuntati rahi thi.
Ham sab ne bahot dhundhne ki koshish ki, but no one knew wo kaha he. Usake friends ko, kisi ko pata nahi. Usaki mummy ka to ro ro ke bura hal tha. Bhagwan ne thoda rehem kiya and thank god she called me. She knows ki me kisi ke bareme jaldi opinion nahi banati aur hamesha use samjha he to she called me and told me wo kaha thi and usne muje kaha ki wo mujse kuch bat karana chahti he, bahot important to me akeli usase milu. And I went to meet her. Abhi kuch din se me jo out of town gayi thi wo isi wajah se and she cried in front of me. Usne muje sari bat batayi aur itana royi he, itana weep kiya he. Seriouslly, she is a really talented girl and 2 sal se she was suffering like this. Her results were going down and down, wo kisise jyada milati nahi thi, sehmi sehmi rehti thi and finally she told me and weep karate karate mere lap me so gayi.
Now, I don't know ki me esi situation me kese react karu? Jo karana chahiye, wo he, us ladke ko sidhe police me de dena chahiye. For misbehaving with Purva. Par wo itani dari hui he apni conservative family se, ki kisi ko bata nahi sakti ye bat, na hi us ladke ko ignore kar sakti he as family functions etc me milana padta he. And wo nahi chahti ki usaki mummy ko ya usaki family ko ye bate pata chale jo ki bahot sensitive bat hogi. Technically, ek bhai ne apni behen ke sath... How disgusting!
She is feeling only a bit better now ki usne muje ye bata diya and mene use kuch galat judge nahi kiya he. But she is just so scared and I want solution for this matter. If anyhow you could help me.

Me abhi use leke aayi hu ghar pe and aunty ko jhuth bola he ki wo kaha gayi thi. I have handled the situation. And she is staying with me only. But I really want to know,
Basically, I want to know, ki jab hamare apne hamare sath esa kare, to hame kya karana chahiye. Mostly, you all are indian, to sab ko pata he hamari families kesi hoti he. Esi situations agar samaj me isake bareme sabko pata chale to bahot badnami hoti he. So, what is the solution in this kind of situation. I really hope, I get an answer from here. I'll really appreciate it.

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Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

Forever-KA

Joined: 01 April 2009

Posts: 5426

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 7:49am | IP Logged
As an elder you should advice her to go back to her home first. Running away like that is not a solution. It cannot last forever. She should then inform about behavior of this cousin to parents and ask them to contact parents of that cousin.
 
I dont know the nature of "misbehave" so what should happen to that cousing depends upon his actions.
 
My point is this current situation cannot go on forever and running away and putting your family in stress is not the answer. If they are conservative family then a girl running away will not be taken in good light also. I dont know wh she chose that option.
 
My best wishes for a proper solution.
 

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moomin4455FreshDaisy

ShivTRSS

IF-Dazzler

ShivTRSS

Joined: 15 September 2012

Posts: 3514

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 8:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by King-Anu

As an elder you should advice her to go back to her home first. Running away like that is not a solution. It cannot last forever. She should then inform about behavior of this cousin to parents and ask them to contact parents of that cousin.
 
I dont know the nature of "misbehave" so what should happen to that cousing depends upon his actions.
 
My point is this current situation cannot go on forever and running away and putting your family in stress is not the answer. If they are conservative family then a girl running away will not be taken in good light also. I dont know wh she chose that option.
 
My best wishes for a proper solution.
 


Thank you for your wishes dear
And these are almost same words for what I said to her.
She is living with me i.e. near her home so no problem.
And you are right, some action must be taken.
But just hoping that no one ever faces such creep people.
Poor girl is so much depressed that she just might need treatment.
But I am surely not leaving her or running away.
Thanks again for replying

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moomin4455

Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

Forever-KA

Joined: 01 April 2009

Posts: 5426

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 8:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ShivTRSS

Originally posted by King-Anu

As an elder you should advice her to go back to her home first. Running away like that is not a solution. It cannot last forever. She should then inform about behavior of this cousin to parents and ask them to contact parents of that cousin.
 
I dont know the nature of "misbehave" so what should happen to that cousing depends upon his actions.
 
My point is this current situation cannot go on forever and running away and putting your family in stress is not the answer. If they are conservative family then a girl running away will not be taken in good light also. I dont know wh she chose that option.
 
My best wishes for a proper solution.
 


Thank you for your wishes dear
And these are almost same words for what I said to her.
She is living with me i.e. near her home so no problem.
And you are right, some action must be taken.
But just hoping that no one ever faces such creep people.
Poor girl is so much depressed that she just might need treatment.
But I am surely not leaving her or running away.
Thanks again for replying
 
Such situations can have a long lasting impact on your life. You already mentioned her studies got affected by that. One option is to keep things inside yourself and continue living like that. I think that will not be proper as it will continue to affect her. The option of going back, telling parents, and sharing this with important (but very few) people will lessen her misery.
 
The only problem I see and the reason she might not be doing this or is afraid to go this route is that maybe she is thinking people will doubt her and she will get some accusations in return as well. Families might fight.
 
Thats a risk she has to take. That is the unfortunate thing besides what she went through. No one should be put in this situation and that too at such young age.
 
Anyway I dont have much else to say. tc

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ShivTRSS

TheBoss

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TheBoss

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Posts: 4702

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 9:34am | IP Logged
I really want to find out what happened but the wall of text gave me seizures. Cry

Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

Forever-KA

Joined: 01 April 2009

Posts: 5426

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 9:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

I really want to find out what happened but the wall of text gave me seizures. Cry
 
boss, you are looking great. lol
 

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TheBoss

ShivTRSS

IF-Dazzler

ShivTRSS

Joined: 15 September 2012

Posts: 3514

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

I really want to find out what happened but the wall of text gave me seizures. Cry


Oh geez. Sry. I have a bad habbit of it
Basically, my friend had a misbehavior experience from her own cousin so technically her brother.
So, I am worried about her and need a solution.

BirdieNumNum

Senior Member

BirdieNumNum

Joined: 07 October 2012

Posts: 967

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 10:09am | IP Logged

i think you should ask your friend if you can speak on her behalf with her mom. I wouldn't send her off home unless i can feel that she will be treated well. She had to have a very strong reason for running away in the first place, and you wouldn't want her to do the same again. Next time she might not even seek you out and might be lost forever. You have to tell her mom or her dad that what she did was a natural reaction. As someone around her age, you would have greater credibility doing that. You have to make it easier for her to be accepted back. If her own parents cant stand up for her, then she's out of luck. Just my humble opinion.

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ShivTRSS

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