Debate Mansion

   

Foreign Citizenship Desi Girls: A Trade off? (Page 2)

Post Reply New Post

Page 2 of 9

Page 1
Page   of 9
Page 3 Page 9

TheBoss

IF-Dazzler

TheBoss

Joined: 06 October 2011

Posts: 4693

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 10:06am | IP Logged
Originally posted by McNinja


Marriage for green-card is the most sought after thing in our culture. It's cool though, marriage itself is a business deal...you get some, you lose some. Can't hold it against anyone for wanting gains. 

Yes, the homeland-bred seedah saadahs  are the worst of the lot. I do love hypocrisy though. Always a good laugh. 

Agreed. Granted that it is one of the perks for the betterment of their future. However the problem on hand is that there are a lot of people who have been taken advantaged of, only to be duped and dumped later after a year or so.

Everywhere I read left and right this problem seems to be only getting worse, its getting so bad in here where I live that women are particularly shying away from people back home because it takes a lot of financial commitment, emotional toll on one just to marry and bring somebody over here only to find out that it just false hopes.

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Foreign Citizenship Desi Girls: A Trade off? (Page 2)" in Debate Mansion forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

McNinja

IF-Rockerz

McNinja

Joined: 30 August 2012

Posts: 9175

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 10:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

Agreed. Granted that it is one of the perks for the betterment of their future. However the problem on hand is that there are a lot of people who have been taken advantaged of, only to be duped and dumped later after a year or so.

Everywhere I read left and right this problem seems to be only getting worse, its getting so bad in here where I live that women are particularly shying away from people back home because it takes a lot of financial commitment, emotional toll on one just to marry and bring somebody over here only to find out that it just false hopes.

I've seen it happen first hand, a girl getting duped. It sucks. But I believe in just playing the hand you are dealt.

If you're going to marry a guy from the motherland, then he needs to be from a ridiculously well off family. The way I see it if the guy has enough connections and money to travel anywhere he wants, to live abroad if he wishes to, then he doesn't need me for a green-card. But most of the people who are able to do this, are usually part of the elitist class. Call me shallow. No qualms. 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

TheBoss

Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

Forever-KA

Joined: 01 April 2009

Posts: 5426

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 10:26am | IP Logged

1) If two people like each other and marry then daheej, green card, beauty etc does not matter.

2) If the marriage is among relatives then one knows the other party so its relatively safe.
 
3) Your point is basically relevant in an arranged marriage environment. This is a difficult situation as one does not know the other person and his or her family well and therefore there is an element of risk. The risk is in the sense what is the motivation to marry. There are some stereotypes
 
3a-  Boys/Girls back home are more traditional and less into western culture.
3b-  Boys/Girls back home want to come to west and therefore more interested in visa etc 
 
On the other side
 
3c-  Boys/Girls in west are not traditional and do not have desi values like respect, morality etc. Even if they are conservative they are likely to be more independent.
3d-  Boys/Girls in west want a pet. lol.
 
I don't think there can be manafactured loved and likeness in an arranged marriage system. The thing to judge (after jaheez and beauty aspect is sorted out lol) is interest. Is the other side interested or just doing it for some reason. Even there one is allowed to think in that manner as everyone wants a better life. However how far can they go? Is their behavior towards you an act? They dont like you but compromising in order to get benefits. That is what needs to be judged in an arranged marriage situation.
 
Its a gamble in my opinion. You can perform some initial tests but the eventual result will come later.

In conclusion, girls and boys, go out and find a girl/boy or boy/girl for youself (preferably matching your own environment i.e. in west if western) and interact, get accustomed, like, love and marry. If you are family type then give it an arranged marriage cover by involving families. In the end be happy with what you did and dont blame others later. And do not ruin your own and other person's life by marrying without any interest. Thats the key. 


Edited by King-Anu - 28 January 2013 at 10:29am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

TheBoss

TheBoss

IF-Dazzler

TheBoss

Joined: 06 October 2011

Posts: 4693

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 10:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by McNinja


I've seen it happen first hand, a girl getting duped. It sucks. But I believe in just playing the hand you are dealt.

If you're going to marry a guy from the motherland, then he needs to be from a ridiculously well off family. The way I see it if the guy has enough connections and money to travel anywhere he wants, to live abroad if he wishes to, then he doesn't need me for a green-card. But most of the people who are able to do this, are usually part of the elitist class. Call me shallow. No qualms. 

Exactly and I doubt much of the rich and elitist are interested to come and settle down here. I know a few bunch of people who are really well of and they particularly prefer to live back home because if you have the money then there is no better to place to be than back home. Life is much more comfortable and entertaining for the folks there instead of us people in here who are mostly living pay cheque to pay cheque and paying off our mortgages.

So now that brings it back that those who do want to want to come here are not so well off to begin with and therefore they are bent by hook or by crook to live the American dream at all cost and on anyones expense.

As you know the girl has to work her butt off to make sure her income is qualified enough to sponsor somebody. And when the guy runs away and takes advantage of her, she is on the hook sometimes to pay off for the guys social assistance and what not, and not to mention she takes a hit on her integrity so the next time she tries to sponsor somebody else she has to go through much more harder time by the immigration authorities.

Now that was just the financial aspect, I cannot even begin to describe the emotional toll that it takes on those who feel betrayed and played. The people who do this think people here have no heart and are numb with feelings so its not big of a deal; but little do they know the implications and ramification of them using others as stepping stones.

BirdieNumNum

Senior Member

BirdieNumNum

Joined: 07 October 2012

Posts: 967

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 11:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TheBoss

Originally posted by McNinja

You could always marry your own ass. Your head seems to be there most of the time as it is. Embarrassed

I cant be the only guy. Everybody I know are doing this too. There is no such thing is true love, people mostly marrying the girl for her passport. There is also a common perception that people in the west are often spoiled. 

And people in the west consider people back home to be very seedha saadha and shareef.

very generally speaking, that's not been true for a very long time. Show me a scam, and i'll show you a desi whose scams are anything but seedha sadha. Other than pockets of old India, even the chicks have gotten progressiveWink. Seen what they're up to in metros? They're making up for all the lost years when they were not very 'active'  and they're on pace to be the best at it nowLOL


DulceTentacion.

IF-Sizzlerz

DulceTentacion.

Joined: 18 December 2009

Posts: 12760

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
Marry me and eye the color of my passport? Naa. Get going. 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

TheBoss

TheBoss

IF-Dazzler

TheBoss

Joined: 06 October 2011

Posts: 4693

Posted: 28 January 2013 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by DulceTentacion.

Marry me and eye the color of my passport? Naa. Get going. 

Why not? I will be out of your way soon. I promise to dump you within 6 months once I have my paperwork ready. Couple of years down the road I will sponsor my true love then.  Embarrassed

asha...

IF-Rockerz

asha...

Joined: 05 August 2011

Posts: 6198

Posted: 29 January 2013 at 2:01pm | IP Logged



The last I heard...its quid pro quo !

You pay some... you get some (The passport ). Be ready to fork out a couple of hundred thousand pounds LOL


The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

TheBoss

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Should Foreign Language be a requirement? ..RamKiJanaki.. 9 506 12 April 2009 at 5:00pm
By rogna
Free Trade or protectionism? Cute_Tulip 9 487 04 March 2009 at 6:13am
By AsliiGuy
Wall Street virtual stock trade game aeslemsan 0 286 13 February 2009 at 8:59am
By aeslemsan
People of Foreign Origin!!!

2 3 4

IdeaQueen 31 1686 22 October 2007 at 11:34am
By Guardian Angel
The Foreign Hand! realitybites 2 250 23 July 2006 at 10:32am
By SolidSnake

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Debate Mansion Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.