Phir Subah Hogi


Phir Subah Hogi
Phir Subah Hogi

FF LEARNING TO BREATH..updated pg 25

Vinnie79 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 13 June 2012
Posts: 5395

Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:49pm | IP Logged



As he wandered down the street, ignoring the stares of the strangers who were probably  wondering about the disheveled look he was sporting. Whispering to each other about the presence of this stranger unwelcomed into their little community.

All he wanted was solitude and death, since death  seem to be long in coming he would make do with solitude. By chance he glanced at him self  on  the passing glass door of some store. It took him a moment to realize the person staring back at him was  non other than him self. He was dressed  in an all black kurta, a pair of chappals on his feet,  he could not remember the last time he had a shave  resulting in what looked like  the beginnings of a very salt and pepper beard.  His hair was a little to long for his liking. 

The sensation of  something  being knocked into his back  snapped  him out of  brooding. "S'Sorry!" said an old frail man who was looking st the floor his head bowed.

"It's Ok" he replied , but before the words were out of his mouth  the old man was hurrying of in the other direction as fast as he could.

He smiled ruefully, my how the hands of fate can change ones life in a second, ten months ago he was  Thakur Vickram Singh, a respected man in the community, a business tycoon, people  would  run over back wards to fulfill his every wish.   How the mighty have fallen , he thought.

Why did he fall, he still could not believe that  he could...he closed his eyes  shutting out the memories that were trying to  invade his brain.  He would have enough time  to relive the nightmare when he rested his weary body...but for now he could not afford to let the memories crawl in.

Instead he decided to listen to his pangs of hunger. He may wish for death but until it comes a few basic need had to be met. Looking around he spotted a small diner   with the sign board "Sugni"s House of Smiles"  Funny Name!  Crossing the road he made his way into the  mostly empty establishment.

Looking  around he he spotted a few customers who were trying not to make it obvious  that they were staring . Ignoring them he made his way to the counter where a red  sign with a Sunshiny smiley face declared "please place your order here!"   No one was in attendance and there was no bell or anything to alert any one. 

"Hello?" He called , his voice coming out soft and scratchy from lack of use...He cleared his throat and tried again...

"Hello!"  A bit more loudly this time.

"Hold on  be there in a minute!"   A chirpy voice answered from behind a wall , that he realized had to be the kitchen.

After a few minutes   a girl who looked to be  about  20 walked out  from  a  door  way  in the back. She made her way to the counter with a smile on her face, that reminded him suddenly of the sun.  However it quickly disappeared  as her eyes took in his appearance.  It was odd that  a weary expression  filled her face.  A look akin to fear.  He knew he looked a bit odd, maybe unkept  but terrifying  really?

Stopping behind the cash register, trying her best not to make  direct eye contact with him

"Uhh Yes?" She  said.

"Hello" he said softly, for some reason  he wanted to reassure her and he could not understand why, it had  been a while since what others thought about him  bothered him, but he was feeling something close to that.  Doing his best to ignore it he continued
"Can I have the breakfast special  please?"

"Sorry the breakfast special was over 15 minutes ago, you would have to order something from the Lunch menu"  She answered. Still standing stiffly  behind the counter. He suddenly realized that she did not move a muscle  since coming here,  odd.

Glancing back at the  Menu board , he quickly made another choice, not really caring what it was as long as it was food.

"No 10. That will be  25.00, take away yes?" She asked.  He had a feeling she wanted him to leave.

"No I'll have it here, if you don't mind ," he said  looking around  at the mostly empty  eating area.

"o-of  course not.please have a seat  ...I'll bring your order as soon as it is ready in a few minutes." She said, smiling a very uncomfortable looking smile.  Not wanting to be another source of discomfort to her he paid for his meal and made his way to the table furthest from the front. No need to scare away  any more customers she might have.

After a few minutes she came back out with a try laden with his purchase, as she laid it on the table he noticed he hands slightly shaking, my she was very nervous.  Silently he watched as she laid the food on the table.  "Thank you!" he said  smiling slightly , another thing he  could not remember the last time he did it.

She nodded her head and like the old man before  scurried away.  Trying not to let that bother him, he started on his meal.  He felt as though he had not eaten in a month , the food was delicious and after a few initial bites he slowed down so he could savoir the taste.

Belatedly he observed his surroundings , the  diner was as the sign, all bright colors, red tables and yellow chairs, each table had  the same smiley sun symbol in the center.  A small place about ten  sets of  tables and chars, only three of them occupied  with single customers including  himself. Odd again, if this was lunch time  in here should be filled,  after what he tasted.  Maybe the crowd just did not kick in yet.

Suddenly the door swung open and two men walked in, one of them dressed similar o him,  making their way to the counter. The other two customers   got up and walked out, their meals  left unfinished. 

One of the men started to bang on the counter rudely. A burly looking man.  

"Sugni ..Oh Sugni...darlin ..where are you we don't  have all day" he said  both men laughed.

Comming out  from the back, she took her position behind the register as befor.

Taking a deep breath  she said:

"What do you want?"

"You know what I want Sugni darling" he said  starching his hand to touch her face. Moving out of range . She said

"Look can't you wait till this evening,  I am  still waiting for  the lunch time rush,  look, I will have the installment by the end of the day ..please  just leave"

"Ohh  that is what you said yesterday  and last week, and your payments are always short,  you know the deal, if you continue to fail in your monthly instalments...the boss will pay you a personal know that right, "

Watching the exchange  silently  he suddenly realized she had her hand under the counter, his guess was she had her hand on a weapon. These men were oozing intimidation and from the look on their faces  they were enjoying  making her uncomfortable..

"Please  leave"

"Ohhh we will but how about some food huh..a breakfast special..."

" breakfast special  is finished"

"Then make it, sweet heart  that is what you do naa"  leaning over  he suddenly grabbed her arm pulling her away from the counter.

Vickram had seen enough.  Getting up slowly he made his way to the counter , tapping the guy on the shoulder.

"I believ e the young lady said the breakfast was over...please leave"

Dropping his hand the guy turn around and looked at him..

He was about his height , with curly shaggy hair and a beard , He had a dead look in his eye . He gave Vickram a once over.

"Who the hell are you"

"Just a concerned  costumer!...please leave! Come on come one leave.."  His partner  moved to stand strategically  behind  Vickram. . It;s been a while since he was in a fight and he  braced himself. 

The guy infornt of him started to laugh. Turning to Sugni he said

"Since when did you get a body guard , Sugni,  Listen stranger it's best you stay away from things that don't concern you.  You better leave."

Vickram bowed his head and closed his eye,  Moving as quickly as a snake  he connected  the guy  behind in a swift elbow to the chest knocking the wind out of him sending him to the floor ,  Which started a chain reaction   as he swiftly dealt with  the one in front of him .. In the space of a few minutes both men were on the floor writhing in pain.  Kneeling next to them he said:

"Now  can you get up and leave or do you need help??"   With a bit of a struggle  they made their way to the door...The burly one  said  "Sugni...the boss will pay you a visit  sooner than you think..not good"   They left.

 Turning to look at her , she made her way shell shocked  and sat  on a chair. Her eyes filled with tears  silently they spilled over and down her face.

 "What did you do?"  She whispered "Oh my God..oh god"  she began to breath heavily  like she was on the verge of a full blown panic attack.

"I am sorry," he replied.."But they were misbehave..."   he cut  himself off when he realized she was still  mumbling to herself.

"Now what do I do...Oh God...What ...My ..."

"hey hey" Grabbing her shoulders he shook her slightly snapping her out of her  escalating panic attack. She looked at him in shock and he immediately  dropped his hands.

"I was just trying to help !"

"Help!? You have any idea what you just did...God they will destroy me now..they would have left did not have to" help". God I will be lucky if I have a diner to come back to  tommorw, help?  Oh  God"  She said ..talking so fast  he had trouble keeping up.   Suddenly she was pacing shaking her head darting him angry ,yet fearful looks.

All off a sudden he was feeling like a five year old being scolded. But his mother always told him never leave a lady in a problem and what he was seeing this lady was in some kind of problem. She continued her ranting  at such a pace  he stated to wonder if she ever stopped to take a breath!   "You have any idea the mess you put me in..."  She stopped , turning to stare at him with those big brown eyes of hers.

He about  had enough her scolding him, and he did something he did not do in over  ten months,    he laughed,  hearty, this spiff of a girl had the gall to blame him for taking her out of a bind, that should have made him mad, but he had this overwhelming   urge to  laugh. Taking a deep breath  to control his emotion  that were  dormant so long suddenly bursting out  of him.  He folded his  arms  crossed  his ankles , and asked in his most sarcastic tone

"No Tell me exactly what mess did I put you in...?"  

He was even more surprised  when she did...

Edited by Vinnie79 - 07 April 2013 at 9:03am

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octopie Senior Member

Joined: 07 October 2012
Posts: 317

Posted: 25 January 2013 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
Vinnie ! That's awesome ! gosh there are many writers here ^-^ Shocked

I lovedd it, please do continue ! Also I really love how you're writing this story from Vickram's perspective (and that too of him as a recluse) and I could see these scenes happening as well when I read through your fan fiction Embarrassed and this is your first attempt at fan fiction too? amazing... I really enjoyed it and hope you would continue especially with that cliffhanger, please do ! Star

Edited by octopie - 25 January 2013 at 10:28pm

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croziaxx Goldie

Joined: 30 August 2011
Posts: 2098

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 6:08am | IP Logged
  Vinnie ! this is really very nice   i liked .. Heart
specially as u described " sun sign"Embarrassed  vikram really need light..and as u described about his past and present..  destiny   and natural need of daily life ..this is very ralistic  Thumbs Up
but i wanna kill u  Angry  why u did end this part at this line..Confused

He was even more surprised  when she did...

aage kya huaa jaldi likho ... Big smile

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payal7 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 14 August 2012
Posts: 3669

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 6:25am | IP Logged
Hi Vinnie
I love it. Its like a Jack Reacher novel (you know the character created by Lee Child)
Keep going. I cannot wait for the next installment

Edited by payal7 - 26 January 2013 at 6:21am

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OmkaRaman IF-Rockerz

Joined: 28 March 2012
Posts: 7154

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 6:31am | IP Logged
Hi Vinnie.
Absolutely Luved itBig smile
Congrats on your 1st FF...really sounds like you've written before.
It was damn awesome. Thumbs Up
Plz continue, can't wait for next installmentHug

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croziaxx Goldie

Joined: 30 August 2011
Posts: 2098

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 6:52am | IP Logged
wrong post..

Edited by croziaxx - 26 January 2013 at 6:48am

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Sandy66 Goldie

Joined: 12 June 2012
Posts: 1647

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 6:59am | IP Logged
SmileAwesome VinnieClap, beautifully written. Love the backdrop/ 
setting. The atmosphere suits Vickram mindset/ mood. Keep itThumbs UpWinkLooking forward for chapter 2. 

Edited by Sandy66 - 26 January 2013 at 6:55am

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JulieD IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 June 2011
Posts: 3018

Posted: 26 January 2013 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
Brilliant Vinnie!!!
But like Mansi I want to kill you!! What was he surprised about?   I can't take the suspense!!! You need to continue ASAP...

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