Originally posted by koolsadhu1000Yes Kalapi i was totally zapped to see Archana guiding Teju in ulta direction
why should she or Sunny change even a bit from what they r , they liked each other as they r
He liked her although she did not believe in decking herself up like other girls , was tomboyish ,
she liked him although he was not super rich simply coz he was impish and smart
why the hell should they change
this change is the start of ghutan and unhappiness as you are not what you are but somebody else
i had objected to even Arjun changing as some part of a test
why should he change ...he was born rich , has good culture , an only dad who loves him , is succesful professionally why the hell should he change to please others
i cannot understand this concept of 'change' ...is it not possible to accept others by sheer respect and tolerance of another lifestyle without any change in who you are
Kools - I absolutely agree! Even back then I had thought about Arjun's need to be a chawl-man and mechanic like Manav to please mother india very stupid and absurd! She started off as having a problem with him two-timing her daughters and then suddenly proving himself capable to earn 10 K without his father's name, became the standard for winning her approval? How are the two even connected? By living it out in a chawl and earning money, he was proving his love to the daughter? But how did that absolve him of breaking his engagement unceremoniously to her other child? Or absolve him of two- timing the two by lying and hiding the truth from both, out of his own cowardness? Archana had basically decided to steal the golden murgi from Ovi to hand over to her golden girl Purvi. She did not care much about Arjun's character.
And then, she talks about changin to Teju? How much did Archu change after coming to sasural. she did what she wanted, she is still going against her MIL to arrange the marriage for Teju, she did the court case, hurting her husband and in laws, she lost her son to sister, despite Manav feeling hurt and angry, she has always hidden facts from him and done pretty much as she pleased, even her over-involvement in maika...then who is she to ask Teju to change in her sasural? Hypocritical mother-daughter dup Archu and Purvi are.
In all this, I do think that Ovi, having been farthest from Archu's upbringing and boring unfitting lectures on life and marriage, had actually done a good job of growing up by herself ( through the suicide, the shaky foundation of marriage, the unloving husband, the indifferent mother, the whipped father, the conniving sister and the drinking problem post pregnancy). She has emerged from all of it, a better person, a better wife and a better mother to her unborn child.
I do think everyone has to adjust, accept flaws and sometimes even compromise in a marriage. It is called adapting to a new person or life. but you don;t have to change the basic nature of your being. You cannot live a dual personality and think by changing yourself, a relationship with your husband or in laws is goign to be successful. Archu's advise was very wrong. She should have told Teju, to be herself and understand the functioning of sunny's house. If she has this chance of living in sasural before marriage, make smart use of it to see whether she will be comfortably and able to "ADAPT" to this new rules and new family. Not change herself to be less tomboyish or whatever. Silly notions of a silly mother.
P.S- Tiya- loved your post and the "dharti-maa" reference. gahahahaa..Too funny!