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Krani

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Krani

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:44am | IP Logged

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Krani

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Krani

Joined: 27 September 2008

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:44am | IP Logged
I was meant to do 4 res-s, instead of 3, so that means that the story so far is going to be cut short. 
Sorry!

Trailer for this story!






Here is the youtube link:



Story from Thread 5

Aman is shown to try and get the article by S. Sharma settled down before the company finds itself in more of a controversy, when he gets a call from Arnav, and has another errand to run. 

It's shown that Arnav gets a present early morning the day after their fight, and places it in the room, not before clearing up some of the mess. He is sure the present will make Khushi forgive him, and he leaves from there, feeling smug. However when Khushi comes out of the room, it seems as though she has not seen the present. 

Meanwhile Nandini makes an appearance and tells them of their plans for the trip - Arnav tells her that he doesn't need her, but she refuses to get fired. Khushi intervenes and talks to Anjali when Nandini threatens to call Anjali, and Arnav meanwhile takes a shower. 

Arnav comes out of the room, freshly showered and approaches Khushi, when suddenly the doorbell rings, and NK makes an entry. 

NK seems to make Khushi feel completely at ease, and Arnav is taken aback by the carefree Khushi that is in front of him. 

When NK leaves, telling them to meet him for lunch in 20 minutes, Khushi goes into her room, and Arnav silently follows her. Khushi sees the gift, and Arnav waits for her to forgive him. The present backfires, and Khushi tells Arnav to earn her forgiveness instead of trying to buy it. 

Arnav's ego and pride makes him snap at her, and leave the room, leaving Khushi dejected at the turn of events. 


Index




Thread 4

Thread 5

since Thread 5 was closed before I could post the links to the parts posted in there, I'll post the links to the parts in thread 5 here. 
Sorry for the inconvenience. 

Part 29

Part 30 and 31

Thread 6

Part 32 - below 

Part 33

Part 34

Part 35






Edited by Krani - 21 February 2013 at 6:02am

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Krani

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vfordonkey

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:48am | IP Logged
Your way of writing is very... Filmy. I don't mean this in a bad way or anything, just that the emotions of the characters and your style of writing raises all sorts of visuals in my head. The words repeating themselves in his head, the visual of a beach and him introspecting. The way the kameez clung to her after being doused with the water... All that? It is a very... visual form of writing. The type of writing one would expect in a film script... That style is to be found here. Your writing is so visually gratifying that as opposed to reading, I'm watching a film... If you know what I mean.

Coming on to the chapter - the realisation of ues he had done something wrong was beautifully potrayed. I love your sense of romanticism... When she wanted to make this work, he didn't care... Now that she's given up, Arnav ji is going to push... And push hard.

Absence makes a heart grow fonder. When she was there... He felt nothing but apathy and disgust. Now that she's moved away, he misses her. He doesn't realise it, but her soft smooth skin... The flash of hurt in her doe eyes... her silent strength. He misses her... In his own way... He doesn't even realise it (the bloody FOOL) but he misses her.

I cannot wait for the day there kids will walk up to them and ask them how they met. I can see it, you know? That look they will give each other, which will plainly say what a story that had been.

-Vee




Edited by V323 - 25 January 2013 at 8:22am

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:48am | IP Logged
Rr

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:50am | IP Logged
Update soon!

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Krani

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:50am | IP Logged
Congradulations!

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Krani

Kishmish

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Posted: 25 January 2013 at 7:51am | IP Logged
  PartyCongratulations for the new thread ... 


Just loved the chapter ... 

I love the way you have written the conflict going on in Arnav's mind ... 
Arnav introspecting his behaviour and feelings towards Khushi ... 
Loved him in this pensive mood ... playing with sand ... looking at the ocean ... 
removing all constricting clothing ... shoes ... socks ... tie ... jacket ... 
battling with his thoughts and feelings ... 
feelings that are quite alien to him ... love and attraction ... 
the growing attraction for Khushi ... 
things which he had never noticed about her ... 
her smile ... her hair ... little little things about her which had not interested him earlier ... 
His irritation towards his cousin because he was able to get along with her without 
much effort at all ... 
Just could not get over the fact that she had refused the gift he had given her ... 

Waiting to see Arnav in wooing his wife mode ... LOL Embarrassed







Edited by Kishmish - 25 January 2013 at 10:42am

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