Originally posted by TheBrat
Yes, mindset need to be changed. And how, by raising voice. Most problems are because of our silence. When we face harassment we are the ones who should open our mouth and complain. I don't know how he'd have taken had Dhriti raised her voice and had given him an answer he deserved when he targeted her, but she was wrong somewhere too by taking his bullshit or by not recognizing the indirect harassment.
True. We should but one does try to raise the voice against injustice, hundred more voices come up and that one voice gets lost in it. They don't let us speak up and just train us to get immune to it. And this really makes me sick and angry. Like I said we are taught to be submissive since childhood and by the time we grow up we become indifferent to such little injustices or harassment. Moreover some of these issues are still taboo to be discussed out loud. Its wrong but how do we deal with it? Honestly I fail to understand these matters.
Yes, violence and suppression starts at home. A simple sentence "You are a girl" could bruise your morale and way of thinking forever. We are told how to laugh, talk, dress, eat, behave at every point by every one. And often it is not only by men. It is by both genders. We do support it too, either by articulating it, when we are asking our girl child to behave or by being silent victims.
Exactly! That mentality is that which has to be changed. True both genders are equally responsible for it. Our mothers too because they tell us that this is how a girl is supposed to be. When I argue on this with my mother she always gives the same reply that this is how it has been happening and if I say time to change so she says you can't change everyone and since I have to live here so just adjust. Why the hell should I? Why can't I live the way I want and not the way the other people want? Just why? Often I give up because despite knowing what is right my own mother doesn't support me and tells me to do as society wants...really if we woman do that then how can we expect men to respect us. I'm disgusted at behavior of some women and just keep wishing for a change.
I know. Consider a simple example of submitting ourselves on wedding night to a stranger we don't really know. See, even there we need to be lucky to have an understanding person. There too we don't really have a right on our body and wishes. Isn't it?
You hit home there! YES!! It is so...wrong! I don't know which word to use here but it feels so wrong. Like just because he has been made our life partner does not mean that he owns us. Suddenly we don't even have the right to say no that to when it us about us! He may do as he wises to with our body, violate our personal space and we can't say a little uff why? Because suddenly he is everything and literally acts as he if bought us! Really, one would be quite lucky to find a man who would be understanding and sensitive enough to a woman's need otherwise mostly are not. One major reason marriages scare me.
Bingo. A male out there would ogle at you and try to get his hands on you, because he is a sick pervert, that i get it. But here's a man you love and want to share your life with, but expects you to forget that you have a life and couldn't take you talking to another male species, or would restrict you to work after marriage, things like these are so common but they give me chills. A girl, who was born, bought up and studied, made her career on her own wishes had to give up her entire life, entire dreams because her husband would like his wife to be there when he comes from office tired. How ironic.
Seriously! If a man can dream to have his own career why can't woman? Why is it always kitchen the only place for a woman? Why can't we get out of those stereotypical roles? Why can't she have her own identity? Why does she always have to be known first by her fathers name then her husbands name? Why can't she be known as who she is and not as someones better half!? And the insecurities they have! Oh I have seen it and yes it gives me the chills too, at times it makes me physical sick to think the horrors a woman has to live through each and everyday in her own home and at the hands of the man she calls her husband, her so called protector. Huh! Would it kill them to accept their wives as human and treat them with respect rather than objects or worse like their slaves whom they can use and abuse as they wish too? Moreover this society and the people make me feel sick who seeing this turn a blind eye and our parents tell us to go on live it.
I really don't see much hope for future under current circumstances.
Okay I don't even know what I ranted and if it's relevant at all. I needed to vent out too, just like you. Hope I didn't eat your brain. Thank you so much girl
No you made perfect sense, more than I had probably and you echoed my thoughts. Honestly all these things are what had been going in my mind but I don't express well but you said them all and so brilliantly! I don't know who you are but at this point I can connect with you completely. Thank you for this post. :)
And I may have gone overboard in my venting session above so you may ignore it if you want. =P