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What was Bhabo thinking?

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ummesulaiman

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 3:28pm | IP Logged

Hmmm...So I saw the episode today and I'm not quite sure what to make of it.  Stern Smile  And that really sucks...considering I'm supposed to be the most insighful member of this forum...Ermm

 
Let me be honest I watch DABH first and foremost for Bhabo. Smile
 
Sure Suraj is sweet enough to give you diabetes...and I like him. Embarrassed
 
And Sandhya is a real trooper.  DABH is her story...she's been through so much...I feel for her...Cry...and yes I like her too.
 
But as SurYa...they are quite mild...you know...thanda.
 

That's just my personal POV...if you don't agree...tomatoes chalein ge cause I can always use them for sauce but no chappals please...LOL

 
So the 3 main players were in the mix in today's episode...one that left me wondering...Just what was Bhabo up to? Confused
 
For her...izzat...her izzat...her family's izzat means everything.  Aur aaj khud hi public tamasha ker ke...wohi izzat Bhabo ne mitti mein mila di. Ouch
 
She usually doesn't dive Daisa and her gang a chance to even smirk...but today...
 

Why?  What was she trying to prove?

That she knows how to dance. Dancing
 
That everyone is going to find out so I better out the truth first. Evil Smile
 
Or that she's never going to change.  That it's either "My way or the Highway".
 
She's hurt.  And I don't blame her.  She has always been up front and honest about the kind of DIL she wanted for her family.  She was lied to by Ankur.  By Sandhya.  By Suraj.  But this time...it was the straw that broke the camel's back and she's not going to take it lying down.

 

Bhabo is the way she is...and again to some extent I don't blame her.  I don't agree with her though.  I don't agree that a grown up married child of mine cannot live his own life...cannot make life altering decisions on his own...cannot do something to please his wife.  That his dreams and vision for his life has to be the same as mine or else.  That everything has to be reduced to choosing or pleasing either the mother or the wife.  Because if Suraj loves his wife, it doesn't mean that he loves Bhabo any less.

 
Bhabo needs to let go...but she can't...and I blame Suraj and Sandhya partly for this.  Remember...tomatoes...but no chappals. LOL

 

Why I say this?  Because they are giving Bhabo mixed signals.

 
On the one hand they semi-rebel against Bhabo and secretly go for the night college option.  And then on the other hand...they put Bhabo on an unnecessary high pedestal again. 
 
They fold their hands together, cry buckets, swear they never meant to hurt Bhabo, and offer to give up their dreams.  Heck Suraj even jumped in the lake just to mana-o-fy her.  Shocked
 
In the words of another famous TV character..."What the..?"
 
 
There's a saying...You can please some of the people all of the time...you can please all of the people some of the time...but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
 
Suraj especially needs to follow his father's example and respectfully but firmly put his foot down in front of his mother.  He was the one who literally backed Sandhya into a corner and pushed her to join college...so now rather than abandoning her and becoming a mute, he needs to stand by his wife and stop Bhabo's nonsense.
 
 
I don't understand why he just stood there frozen like a statue and let his mother make a fool of herself and Sandhya...that too in front of Daisa...when he could have easily said..."this is our private family matter...please leave". 
 
 
But to stand up to Bhabo you need guts...and they don't sell them at the local general store.

 

On a side note...I want to know why Sandhya (and everyone else too) looked like Bhabo had ripped her clothes off when she removed her pallu from her head.  I mean, it's not like she wears it other than in front of Bhabo anyways. Ermm

 

Ah...it's never a black-and-white moment in the Rathi house...more drama awaits tomorrow. Ouch



Edited by ummesulaiman - 22 January 2013 at 3:41pm

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
Fatima ammi it's seems that after watching the episode you're talking so much with yourself.LOL.

I'd like to throw cranberries instead of tomatoes on you. Make a juice n drink it. It's good for health in winter.Big smile.

Answer of your title in Bhabho's famous one liner is:- Dil Main Mere Hain Dard-E-Disco.

N wait a minute:- As usual very insightful post. Keep it up your award title.

Sorry don't wanna jump into serious discussion n boil my blood. Disapprove

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 4:17pm | IP Logged
Nice post. My interpretation of the episode. Bhabo found herself cornered by Bhabasa. She could not refute his claims. She was clearly outwitted. Suraj and Sandhya had already betrayed her earlier with their secret night college admission. Her ego is badly bruised. She finds power slipping away from her hands. She sees Bhabasa's passionate speech and Suraj's betrayal as the first sign of revolt. She understands all her tel maalish and attempts to wean away her son from the pursuit of his wife's IPS dreams have failed miserably. Her husband who did not object to her stopping Sandhya earlier has now gone to the other side. She does not think the support of Chavvi Mohit or Vikram is enough to sustain her anti IPS campaign. She makes a resolve to wash her dirty linen in public. Enlists  the support of her peers to quash the idea and nip this revolt in the bud. She knows very well they will be on her side in this battle. She also knows that they will ridicule her behind her back for all the tamasha. However it will mainly achieve the purpose of putting societal pressure on SurYa to rethink their options. For this she is willing to take the sarcasm from her friends.Suraj is half hearted in his support. Cannot carry forward anything on his own. He is incapable of standing up for his wife despite promising her full support. I do not think it is weakness. If it is so will he allow Sandhya to humiliate his mother and still be quiet . If Sandhya shouts, screams and insults his mother before the entire Hanuman Galli will he exercise the same restraint and keep quiet. Is his wife's self respect less important then that of his mother ?What kind of love is this that you allow your loved one to be humiliated like this. Did you marry her for that?.This problem can only be resolved or Bhabo can only change if you stand up against her or walk away. No change happens on its own. You have to fight for it. The traditional forces will fight back, you have to be steadfast in your determination. Bhabo broke away from Maasa to escape suppression or economic reasons. We do not know but she broke away. Let Suraj follow his mother's foot steps and do the same. If Bhabo can establish a nuclear family why not Suraj? Why selective following of parampara do it all the way.

Edited by UMDU - 22 January 2013 at 6:06pm

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
Nice post Fatima...agree with your and Uma's comments.
 
I think putting pallu over the head is a sign of respect to others...if youngsters put the pallu in front of elders, that is a sign of respect to the elders and similarly, when elders put the pallu over young ones while blessing, it again indicates a sign of blessing/safeguarding.  So that is the reason for shock when Bhabho removed the pallu from Sandhya's head.
 
What is Bhabho thinking at this time who always shouts ghar ki izzat, ghar ki baat baahar mat dikhao, mere purukon ki pagdi values more than my son, etc. is clearly unclear other than to humiliate.  Going by the precap, she has no intention of backing out from allowing the IPS dream, then why to create all this.
 
The rest is in Suraj's hands to do something other than being guilty for hurting his mother. 

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ummesulaiman

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by UMDU

Bhabo broke away from Maasa to escape suppression or economic reasons. We do not know but she broke away. Let Suraj follow his mother's foot steps and do the same. If Bhabo can establish a nuclear family why not Suraj? Why selective following of parampara do it all the way.

Excelent point UMDU Ji. Clap

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ummesulaiman

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ami_dabh

Fatima ammi it's seems that after watching the episode you're talking so much with yourself.LOL

No Emy...it's from working too hard to prepare and then staying up too late to party over at Sushant's B-day celebrations LOL

I'm still in full zombie mode from lak of sleep...and .not even sure if my post made any sense...Confused

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ummesulaiman

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ummesulaiman

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by b2011

The rest is in Suraj's hands to do something other than being guilty for hurting his mother. 

I agree completely. Thumbs Up

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Posted: 22 January 2013 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
loved your post...but if bhabho change...what will be left in DABH...she is the one who is making the stroy interesting for viewers...

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