I know…this comes out of the blue😛…but I miss him sooo very much😭…still can't get over this show😲 …...don't know if I ever will😊…..Hope there are equally crazy people out there willing to give this a shot😉…Thank you…It's so good to know that you are not alone in your craziness
Context of this letter is Holi celebration in Kesu's hostel after almost 3-4 years of being away…..Hope you find it interesting….
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Gulaal,
Aaj bahut dino baad tujhe khat likh raha hu,kya farq padta hai tujh tak toh yeah kabhi pahuchega nahi-yehi baat maine apne aap ko samjhaane ki na jaane kitni baar koshish ki hai,per tu toh apne Kesar ko jaanti hai na,Kuch cheeze kabhi nahi badalti..nahi unhe badalna chahiye…tujhe bhi kabhi nahi badlna chahiye tha Gulaal…..
Kyun nahi nafarat kar paata main tujhse…. kyun nahi apne sawalo ko kabhi saamne hi rakh paata tere,kyun nahi mana paata apne mann ko jo aaj bhi tujhe gunegaar manene se inkaar karta hai…
Aaj ke din rango se ghiri teri woh chunar aur usme chupa mera woh shararti chehra bahut yaad aa raha hai,Gulaal tujhe rang lagane ka adhikaar aaj bhi sirf mera hai, hai na…..aaj bhi mere liye yeah janena bahut jaruri hai Gulaal….Soch ke hi kaap jaata hu..gusse se..shayad..samajh nahi paaya hu….apni iss bebasi ya bechani ya jalan ko…..kyun nahi bardaasht kar paata kissi ka tere kareeb aana ….ya tera kissi se hash ke baat karna..chahe phir woh Talli hi kyun nah ho…kyun aisa lagta hai ki sirf tujhe mere saath hi rang khelne ka chahiye,kyun tu sirf mere hi saath hase,baithe,baate kare,mere hi liye khaana hi banaye..maine jo suna uske baad toh mujhe tujhse sirf nafarat honi chaiye na sirf nafarat..phir bhi…
Phir bhi..har subah hostel ke darwaaje ke bahar meri aanke teri hi raah takti hai,mere yeah kaan teri payal ki aawaz sunene ke liye har waqt bechain rehte hai…aur mera yeah mann dur se teri ek jhalak dekh kar daudta hua tere paas pahuch ke tujhe apni bahao mein samet leta hai … kabhi na chod ne ke liye….phir tere wapas jaate hue kadamo se hatash hote hue iss maan ko….fariyaad se nam hoti in aanko ko aur tere naam ko apne andar hi dabate hue in hoto ko ladkhadate kadamo ke sahare lekar jab wapas iss suni chaar diwaro mein lauta hu toh apne aap ko bahut kosta hu …per samaj nahi paata aisa kyun karta hu Gulaal…shayad bada hone per yeah samaj pau…kab tak aise hi kashmakash mein jeeta rahuga Gulaal….
Aaj Itne khushi aur hashi ke mahol mein bhi mere mann mein kyun itni khamoshi hai Gulaal,kya iski wajah tu hai,agar ha toh teri kami mujhe itna kyun tadpati hai…main toh tujhse nafarat karta hu na Gulaal…sach hai na yeah Gulaal…