Collection of Unsent Letter-Updated 22/01/13

enchanted23 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 15 October 2011
Posts: 2669

Posted: 22 January 2013 at 9:28am | IP Logged
Sorry Guys it seems I cannot continue with the earlier post as the earlier topic is now closed by this forum. So I had to open a new thread.

I know…this comes out of the blueTongue…but I miss him sooo very muchCry…still can't get over this showShocked …...don't know if I ever willSmile…..Hope there are equally crazy people out there willing to give this a shotWink…Thank you…It's so good to know that you are not alone in your crazinessOuch

Context of this letter is Holi celebration in Kesu's hostel after almost 3-4 years of being away…..Hope you find it interesting….



Aaj bahut dino baad tujhe khat likh raha hu,kya farq padta hai tujh tak toh yeah kabhi pahuchega nahi-yehi baat maine apne aap ko samjhaane ki na jaane kitni baar koshish ki hai,per tu toh apne Kesar ko jaanti hai na,Kuch cheeze kabhi nahi badalti..nahi unhe badalna chahiye…tujhe bhi kabhi nahi badlna chahiye tha Gulaal…..

Kyun nahi nafarat kar paata main tujhse…. kyun nahi apne sawalo ko kabhi saamne hi rakh paata tere,kyun nahi mana paata apne mann ko jo aaj bhi tujhe gunegaar manene se inkaar karta hai…

Aaj ke din rango se ghiri teri woh chunar aur usme chupa mera woh shararti chehra bahut yaad aa raha hai,Gulaal  tujhe rang lagane ka adhikaar aaj bhi sirf mera hai, hai na…..aaj bhi mere liye yeah janena bahut jaruri hai Gulaal….Soch ke hi kaap jaata hu..gusse se..shayad..samajh nahi paaya hu….apni  iss bebasi ya bechani ya jalan ko…..kyun nahi bardaasht kar paata kissi ka tere kareeb aana ….ya tera kissi se hash ke baat karna..chahe phir woh Talli hi kyun nah ho…kyun aisa lagta hai ki sirf tujhe mere saath hi rang khelne ka chahiye,kyun tu sirf mere hi saath hase,baithe,baate kare,mere hi liye khaana hi banaye..maine  jo suna uske baad toh mujhe tujhse sirf nafarat honi chaiye na sirf nafarat..phir bhi…

Phir bhi..har subah hostel ke darwaaje ke bahar meri aanke teri hi raah takti hai,mere yeah kaan teri payal ki aawaz sunene ke liye har waqt bechain rehte hai…aur mera yeah mann dur se teri ek jhalak dekh kar daudta hua tere paas pahuch ke tujhe apni bahao mein samet leta hai … kabhi na chod ne ke liye….phir tere wapas jaate hue kadamo se hatash hote hue iss maan ko….fariyaad se nam hoti in aanko ko aur tere naam ko apne andar hi dabate hue in hoto ko ladkhadate kadamo ke sahare lekar jab wapas iss suni chaar diwaro mein lauta hu toh apne aap ko bahut kosta hu …per samaj nahi paata aisa kyun karta hu Gulaal…shayad bada hone per yeah samaj pau…kab tak aise hi kashmakash mein jeeta rahuga Gulaal….

Aaj Itne khushi aur hashi ke mahol mein bhi mere mann mein kyun itni khamoshi hai Gulaal,kya iski wajah tu hai,agar ha toh teri kami mujhe itna kyun tadpati hai…main toh tujhse nafarat karta hu na Gulaal…sach hai na yeah Gulaal… 

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minizz IF-Dazzler

Joined: 28 September 2011
Posts: 4972

Posted: 22 January 2013 at 9:55am | IP Logged
AditiHugI cannot tell you how happy I am to see you writing again and what a comeback.I have always been a fan of your Kesariya letters and this is no exception.The emotions expressed in this letter brought back all of those heart wrenching moments from the show when Kesar used to let out the pain hidden inside him while reading back those letters.This one is all the more heart wrenching because he is so confused about his feelings and there is absolutely no one he can share his pain with.The only one who could have proved to be a solace is the one he is trying to build a wall against.He does know...somewhere deep inside he has always been aware that Gulaal can never do anything wrong...she wouldn't betray his trust and I loved that you portrayed it here. I loved the the way he says "aaj bhi tujhe rang lagaane ka haq mera hi hai".His feelings for her are undergoing a change as he is growing up...they are becoming more intense na.That was beautifully written...just how Kesar would express it but bechara is so caught up in the web of anger and pain that he is not able to realize why is feeling the way that he doesCryoh that last para was just so emotional.It reminded me of the first scene where we Kesar sneaking a peek at the retreating Gulaal...awwwCry and nahi Kesarji you do not hate her actually its the exact opposite.Do not worry bahut jaldi samajh jaaogeLOL

A big hug for this beautiful letterHugand please...please keep writing ok.looking forward to something new from you soonBig smile

Edited by minizz - 22 January 2013 at 10:17am

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manzilmukul IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 14 April 2011
Posts: 11351

Posted: 22 January 2013 at 10:34am | IP Logged
The pangs of yearning and longing for HIS Gulaal who he claims to HATE but cannot...The one who is in his veins..The one who is his life...Adu..Needless to say you are BACK and that too with a BANG!!...My GodOuch Each and every word evoked in my so many emotions..I could feel and see Kesar writing that letter right in front of my eyes..HIs bebasi,his bechaini,his pain,his angst,his confusion all just echoed with the letter...Cry OVER...Never..coz I might never come out of the beauty of this show..Almost 2 years but still it pulls me heart..The letter was just BRILLIANT Adu...I wish..we could still watch Gulaal Cry and how it continued...I feel so DEPRIVED after reading this..I so wish...that we could have the show back..Such is the emotion that your letter evoked in me...Keep them coming...Keep them coming..AWESOME!!

Edited by manzilmukul - 23 January 2013 at 12:06am

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_Avatarana_ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 December 2009
Posts: 2720

Posted: 22 January 2013 at 11:34am | IP Logged
Your first set of Kesar's collections had prompted me to post a reply when I had almost quit the forum second time over. I have been fond of your writing ever since. I haven't mentioned this to you at all. Now I do.
This letter brings back all the fond memories of Kesar, especially Neil's portrayal of Kesar. I can't think of anyone else who would do justice of even 1% of what he did. You know very well what a hopeless  Abhi fan I am. Yet, I don't have to think twice to say Neil's best role to date has been Kesar.  Neil was at his expressive best as Kesar.
It had been role that gave me a totally distinct and diverse experience in tele watching . And the story concept has changed my perspective of right and wrong & forced and willingly nurtured relatioships too. To use a modified version of Neil's dialogue from KB, the show made me think '"Jo pehle mei galat samajhti thi, woh sahi bhi ho sakta hai "
As far as your interpretation regarding kesar's unsaid feelings., it is fantastic. Verbalising his thoughts through the letter, it reinforces the fact that though Kesar's conscious mind holds Gulaal guilty, based on what he overheard, his trust and faith in her is very much at a sub-conscious level, which is unknown and unfathomable to his own self. His anger is directed at her at a conscious level. Yet, when he is true to himself or his inner conscience, his sub conscious mind rules his thoughts giving rise to the conflicting emotions within him.
Keep Kesar's emotional conflicts coming...

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manzilmukul IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 14 April 2011
Posts: 11351

Posted: 23 January 2013 at 12:12am | IP Logged
Updated my comments..M GREEDY NOW!! WANT MORE!!Hug

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MR21 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 09 September 2011
Posts: 4976

Posted: 23 January 2013 at 9:01am | IP Logged
Aditi feels great to see u back with this letter of kesar to his gulaal...kesar is so helpless na...he is stating that he hates her but still he cant do it...kesar's emotions are very well very emotional nowOuch...letter is too good n yes we expect more from u now...

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kiran_trudecent IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 February 2010
Posts: 5726

Posted: 04 February 2013 at 2:15am | IP Logged
aditi wow wow wow Clap yaar it brought tears to my eyes, i so so so miss kesar n gulaal Cry u beautifully penned down kesar's emotions, very true that if they would have shown us kesar's letters then surely he would have written something like this na, every day in the hostel he waited for her n when she used to come, woh us se milta nahi tha, nafrat aur mohabbat ki is jang men kesar's heart was being burned all this time, kesay raha hoga woh ten years, das saal... its a long long time... aditi so glad to see u back, do continue writing Smile

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