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Per Angusta Ad Augusta FF - Updated Oct. 14 - FINALE! Pg.37 (Page 9)

-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 12:59am | IP Logged

Part 9 - Confessions

"So... how did you get started?" Dean wasn't merely curious.  Of course, there was always some sort of tragedy that got someone started with hunting.  He wanted to know what happened to her. How did she get started at such a young age? And that too, alone. 

The boys and Emery had searched the sewers and some more local dark, hidden places for the shapeshifter without much luck.  When they didn't find its home base, they decided to start fresh the next day.  Besides, they had to get to Mrs. Arnold's place for dinner.  And the way Emery was fidgeting at dinner clearly meant she was nervous.  She didn't want an old neighbor who probably knew all about her past around the boys.  She was hiding something about her past.  And that something could be critical in this field.  Sam and Dean had a right to know about Emery's past since they were working together now.

"I just did," Emery replied sternly, implying that was end of discussion.  Obviously, Dean didn't get the message.

"No one just starts hunting.  It's not exactly a career little kids want for themselves, like I wanna be a doctor or an engineer.  Hey, I'll be a little creative. I wanna be a hunter."

"Dean!" Sam's voice held a warning.

"No, Sam, I wanna know.  We are working together if you haven't noticed.  She knows everything there is to know about us.  We too got a right to know her history," Dean said angrily.

"No, you don't!  Your history is public knowledge.  Anyone who's been in the business for long knows about you two." Emery spat angrily.

"Jeez, that makes me feel like a freakin' celebrity," Dean said sarcastically.

"Well, it's true.  I didn't dig anything up on you.  I didn't ask you any questions.  So no!  You've got no right to demand any answers from me."  After glaring at Dean for a few seconds, Emery stomped out the room. 

Sam gave Dean a stern look. "WHAT?!" Dean yelled while Sam shook his head in response.

~*~ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~*~

Emery was by the water fountain in front of the motel, staring up at the moon when she heard footsteps behind her and her hand reached her dagger, almost instinctively.

"Hey, it's just me."  She heard Dean say that while the footsteps got closer behind her.  Emery's grip on the dagger relaxed as she continued to stare at the moon. "I know you're angry."  Dean's voice came from a couple feet behind her.  He didn't come next to her or in front of her.  And she surely wouldn't give him the pleasure of turning around to face him.

"Save it, Dean.  I'm not interested.  Just leave me alone."

"Look, I know I shouldn't have pried the way I did. I just wanted to know about you because we will be working together.  You don't trust people.  Neither do I.  And if we are to work together, we've got to trust each other.  We've got to have each other's backs.  That's the only reason I wanted to know more about you and where you come from," Dean said, his voice earnest.  Without giving him a single look, Emery starting walking forward, away from him, when Dean grabbed her hand. "Please, Emery… hear me out.  I'm sorry.  I really am."  In one fast movement, she turned around to face him, brought her other hand forward from behind her back and stabbed him in the heart. 

"Nice try," She said flatly. "Silver blade through the heart." While the shapeshifter fell on the ground, Sam and Dean came running towards her.

"We saw someone standing close to you through the window so we came to check on you," Sam explained.  "I see you got the shapeshifter.  It must have changed after we chased it and followed us here."

"You… you just stabbed him? It could've been me!" Dean said incredulously.

"It wasn't," Emery replied flatly.

"You could've killed me.  And it doesn't even bother you!"

"I knew it wasn't you the instant he said I'm sorry." Emery said while looking straight in Dean's eyes.  Her voice was devoid of any emotion.  After a few moments of silence, she started walking away from him only to stop after a few steps.  Without turning around, she said, "Besides, he didn't have an aura."  While Sam and Dean shared a look, Emery walked away.

~*~ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~*~

Emery was sitting on a bench in the yard holding the locket that was always around her neck, except it was open this time, and there were pictures on both sides.  Dean sat next to her on the bench. 

"We buried the shapeshifter." It was Dean-like to use jobs as ice breakers.  Unfortunately, that didn't elicit a response out of Emery.  She just nodded without even looking at him. He sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes while Emery's eyes were fixed on the locket she was holding.

Emery moved her hand from her lap towards Dean so he was able to see the two pictures in the locket.  One was of a very handsome boy who couldn't have been more than eleven or twelve.  The other one was of Emery who must have been in her mid-teens.  "Adrian… my baby brother," Emery whispered.  Dean almost didn't hear her but he clearly heard the heartbreaking pain in her whisper.  His eyes shot up from the locket to her face.  There was a very small smile tugging at her lips even though her eyes were filling up.  "He was the kindest person I have ever known."  Dean saw her blink a few times, trying to hide the tears that he had already seen in her eyes.  "I told him many times that he was too kind for his own good.  He would just smile, put his arm around my shoulders and say, 'That's because you're cynical enough for the both of us.' He always saw the good in others, even where there wasn't any, like in our poor excuse for a father." 

Dean saw the tiny smile vanish from her face completely as it was replaced with seething anger at the mention of her father.  "Drinking had always been an issue with him, but when my mom died giving birth to Adrian, it just got worse and worse.  The more he drank, the more creative ways he found to..." Her voice broke a little. "To take it out on us.  My mom was a psychic and because of her I was able to hone my ability to read auras at an early age, something that helped me realize how bad the night was going to be as soon as he walked through the door.  Adrian was my responsibility from the very first day.   Honestly, he was the only bright thing in my otherwise miserable life.  It was easy to protect him when he was a baby.  I would just place him in his crib and close the door until that bas***d passed out.  Then when he started crawling, I had to lock the door until... until he started doing the same to me.  Can you believe it? He was only five when he started locking himself up with that bas***d so he would take it out on him and spare me.  Even after he died of alcohol poisoning, Adrian continued to save me from myself.  I had developed a drug problem."  Dean looked at her, a little shocked.

"Ironic, I know.  It's just that the drugs were the only thing that would make me forget everything, that would help me sleep at night.  When you've spent every day ever since you can remember trying to think of ways to hide from a monster, you... you just never stop hiding.  Even when you know he's dead.  The fear… it never leaves you."

Dean nodded. He regretted asking her, not because he didn't want to know what had happened to her, but because it was killing her telling him about it.  He noticed her hands weren't relaxed anymore, they were curled in fists with so much force that her nails were digging into flesh but she was oblivious of that.  "One day in my pathetic state, I took up a dare.  I had to spend a night at the local haunted barn in the woods.  People believed that anyone who went in there never got out.  I didn't believe it.  Not till I saw the damn ghost coming after me that night.  I was so out of it that it could've been a figment of my imagination had I not seen Adrian there trying to get me out."

Emery's hands were trembling and Dean noticed that.  He had only seen the calm side of her.  She barely ever lost her cool even when he tried to instigate her.  He knew how hard she must be trying to keep a reign on her emotions.  The fact that she was unable to stop her tears and trembling hands in spite of that was a clear indication of how much pain she was in. 

"Adrian found out from my friends that I was doing the dare and came after me.  I don't remember much other than that.  I woke up in the woods the next morning with only a few cuts on my arms.  I ran back towards the barn.  That's... that's when I saw him.  H..."  Her words were coming out in almost-sobs now.  "His body was nailed to the fence in front of the house. There was... a pool of blood... on the ground."  Tears were spilling out of her eyes, one after the other.  She didn't seem to notice that.  She seemed to be reliving that horrible moment.  Dean didn't realize his own eyes were moist until he felt a tear on his cheek.  He could relate to her because he knew the pain.  He remembered it from the year he had spent thinking Sam was dead.  Suddenly, he was overcome by an urge to reach out to her and hold her close, but she needed to finish her story.  And she probably wouldn't accept any comfort from him anyway. 

Emery was staring at her own hands holding them in the air over her lap as if not believing they belonged to her.  "I buried him... with my... own... hands."  She was shivering even though it must have been around 80 degrees.

"Emery, I understand…"

Emery broke him off before he could finish. "No, you don't!  You may understand what it feels like to lose someone you love, but you can't even begin to understand what it feels like to lose everything you've got because of a stupid reckless decision you made.  What it feels like to lose that one person who made it possible for you to get up every day and fight your battle."  Her voice softened, "Adrian died because of me.  He was only twelve; he had his entire life ahead of him.  I should have died, not him. I felt... empty, so completely empty.  All I could feel inside me was this big hole that just chewed up everything around it like… like a black hole.  And the pain... the pain was so unbearable that I would wish to die every second of the day, just not to feel it anymore.  The only thing that kept me going was revenge.  I read hundreds of books, collected as many weapons as I could.  I wanted to kill that thing that took my Adrian from me.  And I did...  Two years later on the same day it killed my brother."  Her voice was rather devoid of any satisfaction.

Sighing, Emery continued, "I thought that that would make me feel better, maybe take a little bit of the pain away.  It didn't.  If anything, it made me feel worse.  Now that I didn't have anything else to think about, the pain was unbearable again.  Nothing helped… I felt worse and worse.  I would take long drives away from home just to take my mind off the pain.  And it was during one of these drives that I saved someone.  That was the second time I killed a ghost.  And since then the only thing that makes the pain manageable is that I save lives. And so I continued studying supernatural things and collecting weapons."  Emery and Dean sat in silence for a few moments before Emery wiped her tears, made her face stoic again before saying, "So now you know how I got started."

Dean sighed.  "Emery, I… I didn't know.  I shouldn't have pried. I… I… umm…I… I'm really…"

Before Dean could finish, Emery interrupted him, "Stop trying to apologize before you pull a muscle." Then she turned to face him and added, "Besides, it doesn't go with the character." Her voice wasn't accusatory or angry though she was being a bit sarcastic and Dean could've sworn that he saw a hint of a smile on her face.  He reciprocated with a smile of his own, not the mocking, smug grin but a real genuine smile.

"So why did you tell me now?" Dean was merely curious.  Just a little while ago, she didn't want to have this conversation.  And then now all of a sudden, she just opened herself up like a book without him even asking a question.  Why?

"Because as much as I hate these evil bas***ds, that shapeshifter got one thing right. And that made me realize that I was being unreasonable."

"What?"

"That if we are to work as a team, we have to trust each other.  I know everything about you and Sam, and that's how I know I can trust you.  You have a right to know everything about me so you can make that decision yourself."  Dean nodded.  And they sat side by side observing the woods up front, lost in their thoughts.  For once, the silence didn't seem uncomfortable. 

"There's one more thing you and Sam should know about."

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beyonddarknessBilliCat.chhiltflutterbyEphemera

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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 1:08am | IP Logged
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  •  -najmeen-
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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 4:48am | IP Logged
first of all... me firsty in replying... Dancing again..Big smile
poor emery and the boys... search the sewers for clues... Dead
i am amazed how u suddenly made the shapeshifter make an appearance.. and made emery stab itClap and her answer as to if it wud have been the real dean... was simply Cool

very heart breaking smiley photo: love heart-breaking-smiley.gifto hear emery's story... first an alcoholic father.. a mother who died from childbirth and a younger brother who died while trying to save her.. Ouchheart breaking smiley photo: love heart-breaking-smiley.gif

Dean didn't realize his own eyes were moist until he felt a tear on his cheek.
the above is interesting... Thumbs Up dean is usually oblivious to other people's pain... coz he himself has suffered so much... so i was pleasantly surprised to see him shed a tear.. looking forward to more...  
eating smiley photo: eating smiley bf-mesvorksmiley.gif



 

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sayanti_ashiuv-Mystery-Ephemera

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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 5:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lakshmi_3004

Originally posted by sayanti_ashiuv

Originally posted by lakshmi_3004

@mahi dear hope everything is fine at your end...just plain worriedOuch
@sayanti cut some slack will you?? Angryshe is busy alright??LOL


@L, oops..sorry,diCry  @mahi are you okay dear? it's been a long tymOuch
@sayanti...sorry...sorry...for snapping at you..Ouch.
i din't really mean to be "Angry" at you...Disapprove.
it's just that all these con tweets...Angry
SPN's absence...Ermm
mahi's prolonged unavailability...Ouch
and my love and tadap for J2M...made me very edgy and sad...Ouch


it is ok di...it reminded me of dean scolding sammy for his bettermentEmbarrassed love youHug

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Ephemera

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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 5:25am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Mystery-

Aww Sayanti and L - I love you both Hug

Don't worry, everything's fine at my end.. I just got a job and then taking a class and looking for another job and apartment hunting because I'll be moving to another city in the fall so lots going on.

Will update in a bit for sure, especially for you two :)


awww...ok..we were getting a bit worried thinking about your prolonged absense Ouchlove you tooHugHeart and best of luck for all of your endeavors..hope you find another job and apartment really soonEmbarrassed

and now coming to your ff..well, what can i say?? you are a skilled writerClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap i wish i could write like youSmilesometimes i wonder that you probably could become the script writer for SPN and trust me you are not less deserving than the actual script writers of the show..you are truly an amazing writerSmile loved the way you revealed about emery's past and i so agree with flutter you exposed a really unexposed side of our dean, who most of the time remains ignorant of others suffering, not because he does not have a heart, but because he is caught in his own pain to realize what others go through..Embarrassed but as i have mentioned earlier that the apparently jerk lad does have a soft heart..love the way you portray the brothers and ofcourse the other characters..eagerly waiting for your next updateSmile take careEmbarrassed

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-Mystery-Ephemera

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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 6:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by flutterby

first of all... me firsty in replying... Dancing again..Big smile
poor emery and the boys... search the sewers for clues... Dead
i am amazed how u suddenly made the shapeshifter make an appearance.. and made emery stab itClap and her answer as to if it wud have been the real dean... was simply Cool

very heart breaking smiley photo: love heart-breaking-smiley.gifto hear emery's story... first an alcoholic father.. a mother who died from childbirth and a younger brother who died while trying to save her.. Ouchheart breaking smiley photo: love heart-breaking-smiley.gif

Dean didn't realize his own eyes were moist until he felt a tear on his cheek.
the above is interesting... Thumbs Up dean is usually oblivious to other people's pain... coz he himself has suffered so much... so i was pleasantly surprised to see him shed a tear.. looking forward to more...  
eating smiley photo: eating smiley bf-mesvorksmiley.gif



 
well i think Dean saw himself somewhere in the story emery told...as he too saw his brother die...suffer more than death...so may be that's made him shed a lone tear...just like in HEART he shed a lone tear seeing sammy's plight

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beyonddarkness Senior Member
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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 11:29am | IP Logged
g8 update

u hav awesome writing and creative skills Thumbs Up

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-Mystery-Ephemera

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Posted: 12 March 2013 at 8:26pm | IP Logged
@Flutter - Emery has had an awful past.. in a way, she's still living in it or at least under the weight of it. But that's made her who she is... even hone her skills.  As for Dean being oblivious to other people's pain, I kinda have to disagree here.  I think he does feel others' pain, he just doesn't show that he does often.  Just like he never shows his pain either.  Remember the whole wounded soldier conversation with Bobby? He knew that Bobby was hurting. And as L mentioned about him crying when Sam goes to kill Madison.  Yes, he may initially be a little hard on people he meets for the first time (ex. Castiel, Henry) but as he gets to know them, he understands them and feels for them.  Another reason behind Dean's tear was that he could empathize with Emery... as I mentioned in the update too.  He was remembering the time he spent thinking Sam was dead and that brought a whole lot of pain up front.

As always, thanks so much for your comments!

@Sayanti - Aww thanks so much, love! Don't worry! I tend to be less and less online when things get hectic.. it's just that.. don't worry at all :)

Thanks sooo much for your comments!! I'm gonna try and not let them get to my head Embarrassedhahaha.. but really, I appreciate them! And as for Dean, as I was explaining to Flutter, I don't think he's really oblivious.. yes, sometimes he is so caught up with his own turmoil that he doesn't realize what others are going through but it's not always true.. a lot of time he does empathize, he just doesn't show it.  And especially for people he works with, he develops a certain bond with them... like Jo and Ellen, and he certainly feels for them.  This is another way of showing that Dean and Emery are beginning to understand each other and getting past the whole hostility thing.

@L - Exactly! Loved the way you explained it!!! 

@beyonddarkness - Thank you soo much!

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