Per Angusta Ad Augusta FF - Updated Oct. 14 - FINALE! Pg.37 (Page 34)

Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10932

Posted: 07 September 2013 at 5:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by flutterby

Originally posted by -Mystery-

@Flutter -   Mrs. Arnold is the only person from Emery's past that she had pleasant memories with and that was still alive. How could Ghazer let her live?  Nice analogy with HP.  I feel like every main character has to at some point face all of their fears and everything and find the strength within.  That's the ultimate win.  

mahi... i meant... why did ghazer camp at mrs arnold's place... and not at any of the places belonging to people that she was close to... like her brother or mom??

i still have to finish other chaps... Embarrassed will do so some other day... am busy with the ganpati festival... lots and lots of food to prepare... EmbarrassedLOL
its cos she was the only one alive at that time..her mother and brother were long dead...
keep some modaks for me too ok?Stern Smile

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10932

Posted: 07 September 2013 at 5:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Mystery-

@L - I was kidding about giving away major plotline yaar.  Nothing will happen to Sam, Dean, Emery or Cas.  That's just a fact of my FF :)  Just like I said to Flutter above, I don't generally think like that but we all have such moments. Now going to Pharmacy school, I've heard some terrible stuff from 2nd year students.  This is gonna be a killer semester so am just a little worried. Don't worry, I'm not someone who has confidence issues hahaha.  Aw L, I'm not saying that I'm not good.  I know I am.  I know that but as friends, I think y'all are too kind to say such great things about my writing. That's all :)

i know re Big smile
yeah i know a stuff or two about what you are saying Embarrassed
thank god you ahve no issues about your confidence...waise your writing never reflected THAT..Embarrassed
@bold : chalo you will never change AngryLOL LOL

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-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20111

Posted: 10 September 2013 at 9:16pm | IP Logged

@Flutter - Ghazer camped at Mrs. Arnold's place because she was the only one person alive that Emery had good memories with. The one last person from her past that she loved.  When she would come over to Mrs. Arnold's, she used to feel safe, if only for a few moments.  Her own house (where her mother and brother lived) never let her feel secure because of her abusive father.  Ghazer wanted to take all good memories/relationships away from her.  Hence, that's where he stayed.

Hope you enjoyed the Ganpati festival!!

@L - Hahaha, guess I will never change huh Wink  Don't worry, I'm a very confident and self-reliant person.  

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-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20111

Posted: 05 October 2013 at 10:54pm | IP Logged

I know, I know, it's been forever since I last updated.  I've just been crazy busy with school, had 2-3 exams every week! It's been hectic.  But to make up for that, here's an extra long update.. Please ignore the typos etc. because I didn't get time to edit it much, just had to put it out there for y'all.  Only the final part left after this!

Part 23 - A Hunter's Dilemma

The entire ride back to the motel that the boys were staying in was hard for Sam, harder for Emery, and hardest for Dean.  The bullet had grazed Sam by his left side, very close to his lungs.  Fortunately, the bullet had just grazed by but unfortunately, the cut was pretty deep.  Sam had lost a lot of blood, which was making him dizzy.  The physical pain of the wound was the only thing keeping him on the brink of consciousness.  Emery was right beside Sam during the entire ride, at first just supporting him but as Sam was losing more blood, his strength was getting weaker and weaker and at one point Emery had to put her hand on top of his to stop the blood from gushing out.  Dean was driving as fast as he possible could, but sitting in the driver's seat while his little brother was bleeding out in the backseat was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done.  And Dean had done some pretty hard things.

The instant he turned in the parking lot of the motel, Dean put the brakes on and rushed to help Sam out of the car and into the motel room.  As Sam got out of the car, Emery was by his right side, her arm around his waist while her hand still putting pressure on his hand on top of the cut.  Dean put Sam's left arm around his neck while holding him steady by the back.  Dean and Emery helped Sam steadily walk to the room.  When they were about to enter the room, Dean said, "I got it from here."

Emery couldn't let go just yet, "But..."

"I said I got it."  Dean gently removed her hand from Sam's side and then rudely let go of it.  He helped Sam walk in the room while kicking the door shut after them.  At this moment, he didn't care about anyone but Sam.  He didn't even look at Emery properly before kicking the door shut.  If he had, he would have noticed her hands shaking and the tears in her eyes.  Dean's harshness hurt but more than that the uncertainty of what was to come was unbearable for Emery.  Sam was the only person she had loved as much as she loved her little brother Aidan.  Now seeing him like that just hurt like hell.  She wanted nothing more than being by his side and making sure that he was going to be okay.  But Dean didn't want her there and she couldn't blame him.  She didn't realize until a few minutes later that she was still standing by the door staring at her hand covered with Sam's blood.  Gathering control of herself, she wiped her tears with the other hand and went looking for a restroom to wash her hands.  She couldn't possibly go up to the reception and ask for a room in this condition.  There would be a lot of questions that she couldn't possibly answer.

~*~ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~*~

It had been a couple of hours since Dean had shut the door on Emery's face, and she had spent all this time pacing back and forth in her room.  She couldn't take it any longer.  She had to find out how Sam was doing.  Otherwise the images that her mind was conjuring would drive her insane.

Gathering all her courage, she knocked on the door.  After a few moments when Emery was about to knock again, Dean opened the door.  

"I... I wanted to see how Sam was doing," Emery said quietly.

"He's fine," With the curt reply, Dean was about to close the door when Emery spoke up again.

"I was really hoping to see him."

"Now's not a good time."

"Dean! Let her in," The voice from the background clearly belonged to Sam and Emery finally took a sigh of relief.  Sam sounded tired but he was okay.  That was all that mattered.  With a grunt, Dean opened the door further to let Emery in.  Sam was lying on one of the beds with a couple of pillows behind him so he was actually in a half-sitting-half-lying position.  Emery went up to him and sat on the other bed facing him.  She didn't say a word, just looked at Sam.  His aura was calm now but he did look very tired.  Dean was still pretty angry with Emery and she understood that.  Now that Sam's injury wasn't distracting him, Dean's aura was emitting a lot of anger and frustration towards her and so did his body language.  He grabbed a seat by a tiny table with his back towards her.

After a few silent moments passed, Sam said, "Hi."  Emery almost smiled and the tears she was hiding in her eyes became a little too apparent. "Hey... Em, I'm fine.  Really."

Emery smiled and placed her hand on Sam's arm.  "I know.  I've just been really worried... but that doesn't matter now.  You're okay."  

"I am." Sam smiled.  It was strange how quickly certain people became part of your life.  It wasn't very long ago when Dean and he had met her the first time and how she had gotten a jump on them.  Sam was pretty impressed then but the more he got to know her, the more she became a part of his life too - their life.  Sam knew that Emery had gotten through Dean's defenses like no one before.  He didn't let people in easily but Emery meant more to him than any girl ever had before.  Sam didn't need Emery's gift to understand what was going on in Dean's mind right then.  He was hurt.  He got this mad with only the people he loved the most because only they were capable of hurting him this much.

"Well, I should let you get some rest.  Not sure why but you look pretty beat, Sammy," Emery teased, then a second later threw her hands in the air and added, "Oops... sorry, Sam."  Sam laughed.  The truth was he didn't mind it so much anymore.  Emery was family now.  Just like Cas.

Emery got up and headed towards the door, then paused to look back at Dean, who seemed to be giving all his attention to all the papers spread on the table in front of him.  Emery wondered if what he was looking at was that important or if that was just a way of giving her the cold shoulder.  She knew that he was very, very angry with her but only if he would let her explain herself, he would understand why she stayed away.  

"Dean?"  When Dean didn't respond, Emery cleared her throat and said, "Dean, can we talk?"

"We have nothing to talk about."  Dean replied without even looking at Emery.  Even though his voice was calm, Emery heard all the pain and anger that was raging inside him.

"Dean, please, at least hear me out." 

"Seriously!  Can you two step outside and resolve your issues?  I need to sleep," Sam was pretty tired but more than that, he knew that Dean and Emery needed to talk privately.  Dean could be very stubborn so he needed the extra push.

"Yeah, yeah, Cinderella, get your beauty sleep!"  Sam rolled his eyes as Dean walked out the room followed by Emery.

"Can we at least talk in my room?  It's freezing out here."  With that, Emery walked towards her room which was a couple doors down from the boys' room.  Dean was still pretty cold towards her as he entered the room and she closed the door.  "Uh.. you can sit down... I... I might have a beer..."

"Emery, please! Cut to the chase."  The harshness hurt like hell.  She still remember how she felt the last time they were together, how he had hugged her, and how much she didn't ever want to let go.  She couldn't believe it was the same guy treating her like she meant nothing, but deep in her heart, she knew she deserved it.  She had hurt him, she deserved worse.

"You're mad because I didn't come back."  

Dean lost his composure and angrily covered the distance between them.  He grabbed Emery's arms and replied furiously, "Why would I be?  It's not like we meant anything.  It's not like everyday I didn't hear from you was basically hell.  Yeah, why the hell would I be mad at you?"  Then he roughly let go and turned away from her.  After taking a deep breadth to calm himself, he added, "You know what?  Just forget it."

"You think I didn't want to come back?  Dean, do you have any idea how much it hurt to stay away from you and Sam?  I have no one else."

"Really? Then why the hell didn't you?  You were hunting again but you didn't have the time to even call or respond to our countless messages to just say that you were fine?!"

"Dean, I..."

"No, I'll tell you what.  You like to be alone.  You always find a reason to run away.  You didn't come back because you didn't want to."

"That's not true!"  Emery almost yelled, appalled at how Dean could even think that.

"Then what is?"  Dean screamed back.

Emery looked defeated as her eyes filled up.  "Every day was hell for me too, Dean.  Do you know how many times I listened to your messages?  When I woke up and when I was trying to sleep and countless times in between.  You have no idea how much I wanted to reply and how much it hurt not to."  Much of Dean's anger had disappeared seeing Emery so distraught.  In his surprise at first seeing her, his panic for Sam later, and anger towards her, he hadn't seen her properly.  She looked thin, had black circles under her eyes.  In his anger, he hadn't given much attention to the fact that she could be hurting, too.

"I wanted to come back, Dean.  Only I know how much.  But I had to force myself to stay away.  I bring bad luck to everyone I love, Dean.  Everyone I have ever loved has had to pay for that.  I couldn't do that to you and Sam.  I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to either of you.  I..." When the tears overwhelmed her, she turned away from Dean and faced the wall.  She willed herself to calm down, she couldn't break apart, not like this.

"Oh, come on, Emery.  Who here doesn't have a permanent bond with bad luck?  We're all screwed to hell but we don't turn our backs on each other."  Dean's voice was angry, almost unbelieving that this was what kept her away all this time.  

Emery turned back to face Dean again and almost screamed in frustration, "You don't understand!  You and Sam were fine without me, but look what happened to Sam as soon as I came back!  I... I'm responsible for so many deaths.  People close to me die, Dean, because of me.  Do you know what it's like to live with that?  When I wake up in the morning, if I sleep at all, I have to remind myself to breathe.  Sometimes that's all I do all day, remind myself to breathe again and again."  Dean couldn't see her hurting like that.  In that moment, he forgot all about his pain.

"Listen to me, Emery, and listen carefully.  You are not responsible for anyone's death.  Not your mom's, not Adrian's, not anyone else's."  Emery couldn't hold onto the tears anymore as they started rolling down her cheek, one after the other.  She had to take a few steps back to steady herself against the wall.  "You killed that sonofabitch responsible for their deaths.  Now you got to stop blaming yourself."

Emery blinked a few times, letting go of all the tears that clouded her vision.  "I have lost everyone I have ever loved, Dean, but I can't lose you.  I wouldn't be able to live if something happened to you or Sam. I..."  She had never before broken down in front of anyone but before she knew, her legs folded under her.  If it wasn't for the wall behind her, she would've crashed on the floor.  Wrapping her arms around her knees, she buried her head in them, sobbing.

Seeing Emery like that broke Dean's heart.  He cared for a lot of people, more than he let on, but the truth was that he had never loved anyone as much as he loved Sam.  Family always came first for him.  It was just how he was, which was why he hadn't understood earlier how someone he had met just some time ago meant so much to him.  He now understood that it was because Emery was now a part of his life, a part of his family.  Dean covered the distance between them in few quick strides and bent in front of her.  

Placing his hands on Emery's shoulders to soothe her, Dean said, "What if something happened to us when you were away?  Would you be able to forgive yourself then considering you might have saved us if you were watching our backs?"

Dean had a point but it didn't completely sink in because Emery had convinced herself that she was the problem.  That was the hunter's dilemma.  A good hunter could fight off any demons outside but the fighting the demons inside her was a whole different story.  And every hunter had those demons inside.  That just came with the job.  "I'm scared," was all Emery could say as the tears continued to flow.

Emery wrapped her arms around Dean's neck and rested her head on his shoulder.  Almost as a reflex, Dean's arms wound around her waist.  He held her tightly as her tears soaked his shirt.  Sometimes you just have let those tears clear your system.  That's way better than keeping them inside.  A few moments passed before Dean touched Emery's cheeks and held her face in his hands, so gently as if she would break otherwise.  He gently wiped her tears off.  They were so close that he knew that if he leaned in enough, he'd be able to kiss her and that she would let him, but he didn't want to make that decision for her.  So he leaned in a little and waited.  It couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds long but it seemed like the longest wait of his life.  Just when he was about to move away, Emery leaned forward just enough that their lips touched.  

And sparks flew.  

Contrary to the popular belief, fireworks don't only happen when you kiss the one.  Sparks fly whenever you're with anyone you share some chemistry with.  There can be many such people.  But when you touch someone's soul by touching their lips, that's when you know you're kissing the one.  Dean had had passionate moments with many gorgeous women before and sparks had flown, but what he felt at that moment was magic, pure magic.  It wasn't like anything he had ever felt before.  Emery hadn't been in a relationship before so she had no basis of comparison but deep within her soul, she knew this was it.  She had found what most people spend their lives searching for.  It wasn't just perfect; it was right... as if a few lost pieces of the puzzle finally came together and completed the picture.      

~*~ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~*~

Edited by -Mystery- - 06 October 2013 at 1:06am

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Posted: 05 October 2013 at 10:55pm | IP Logged
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sayanti_ashiuv IF-Rockerz

Joined: 10 May 2006
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Posted: 05 October 2013 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
resBig smileEmbarrassed


this is the best chapter of your ff i have read so far...i have only one thing to say to you, girl, you are amazingClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap...everything was so vivid...emery's fear, dean's anger, sam's concern for emery and dean..i could see everything in front of my eyes...poor dean is hurt..but he could not see how hurt emery was too..that is what often happen..when we consider our self to be hurt, we often tend to ignore what the person on the opposite end is going through...i am not blaming dean..this is human nature...thank god..sam is all heart almost skipped few beats when he got shot in the last chapter...finally dean agreed to listen to emery...sam is also the perfect brother,in pretense of having some sleep he is letting them talk privately...and dean is at his usual best with sam when he mockingly called him 'cinderella'..i chucked thinking dean, do not ever change, manBig smile..and sam and emery's reconciliation scene was magical...i kept murmuring in my mind, 'emery, tell dean how much you love him and how you were hurt too'...and finally she saidSmile i loved how dean let emery take the decision of kissing him...a perfect man he is...he knew deep down inside emery would let him kiss, but he let his GIRL take the decision..and the depiction of kiss? so beautiful...right..passion can come when someone is physically intimate but magic can only be created when the person you are kissing is your soul mateEmbarrassed

p.s i unreserved my comment on your last chapter on 8th of september..probably you have missed itTongue do check that plzSmile and it is heart breaking to read the second last update of your ff..with time, like lakshmidi's ff, it has become a part of my life..but i guess, every good thing comes to an end and we have to let it go.."sigh*.. take careHug

Edited by sayanti_ashiuv - 05 October 2013 at 11:27pm

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Ephemera IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 July 2012
Posts: 10932

Posted: 05 October 2013 at 11:55pm | IP Logged
@mahi i was about to be Angry but then went all Embarrassed and Big smile seeing the Update Tongue
well i again i have problem with spatial arrangement Ermm 
how could a bullet Just GRAZE very near to lungs?? Confused was he facing east or west with us being facing north or south??

How Can Sam Not UNDERSTAND his brother whom he is looking upto since he was 4 Big smile i loved the mature way Sam acted Star
and the immature way Dean acted Angry but he is not to be blamed though Ouch Just these 2 points alone makes your FF not a Fiction BUT a complete season of SPN Big smile
i agree good things comes to an all other things..but due to it being good the time feels to passing quickly Ouch

i loved the way you pictured the "Dean Kissing Scene" at the end which am so gonna "save " it in my mental memory and comp memory LOL 

Hunter's dilemma is always been my fav metaphysical aspect of SPN and you have understood it well and have painted it well too Clap

But seriously i was expecting Dean to go Full Throtle ballisticsStern Smile and definitely a lecture abut how everyone around him dies when Emery gave that excuse...Ermm

so in short

One firework between  Dean and Emery Could Have been a bit longer ...after all so much anger and resentment and pain emery sensed ..i IMO felt fizzled out a bit too affects the steam and flow of the story at that moment Geek
 but another Firework between the same pair was HeartThumbs Up

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-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

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Posts: 20111

Posted: 06 October 2013 at 1:36am | IP Logged

@Sayanti - Awww... Sayanti, that comment made my day :) So very sweet! Thank you!! I'm glad you loved all the little things.. Sam acing mature, Dean calling him Cinderella (that was my fav. part too, sarcasm and Dean go hand in hand).  You know, it breaks my heart too that this FF is almost coming to an end, it's been a huge part of my life too.  I hope to continue it soon with Sam's story!  And about your last comment, I couldn't agree with you more.  It's been seasons after seasons but when I still watch that episode, I bawl my eyes out.  It was one brilliant performance from JA.  You could really see how much it tore Dean apart seeing his little Sammy hurt.  

@L - By graze, I meant that the bullet cut through him but didn't stay in so the damage was not as bad as if it had but the cut was still pretty bad.  If you think about a typical compass with North on top and South on bottom and East on right and West on left, the woods were on the West and the road cut in the middle so they were standing on the east on the road.  Sam was facing north so when the bullet came from the woods, it hit his left side.  I hope that clears things up a bit.  I only write FFs based on the real show so I'm glad you think that it has stayed true to the show! Thanks for always reading and commenting, L!  As for Dean going full ballistics, I felt that he showed his anger enough to a point where he noticed her pain.  That's the thing when you love someone so much, you tend to forget your own pain and anger, seeing theirs.  But perhaps I did miss something and the whole confrontation should have been longer.. That's what happens when you don't get to re-read what you've written.  Perhaps when I get the time to edit it, I'll make some changes.

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