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I Provoked You

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KwitKatts

IF-Dazzler

KwitKatts

Joined: 02 March 2011

Posts: 3085

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 7:02am | IP Logged

WARNING This might be triggering to some of you as it is about sexual abuse. Please proceed to read only if you are fine with it...



I PROVOKED YOU

 

That's what they say when they hear me talk

About my past and you

That I must not complain 'cause I provoked you.

 

So yes I understand what went wrong

That threw my world upside down

And I descended into the dark waters-

That place where I'm stuck now...

 

I was waiting for my bus when you came along

And offered a ride on your bike to school...

But I said no'that daddy would kill me if he knows

You looked sad and let down but said that it's ok and left..

I felt bad for you; you just wanted to help me after all'

But I didn't know I was provoking you!

 

You gave me notes

When I was punished for turning up without mine

But I said no'that it's cheating and I don't mind standing out alone

You said that I'm being a fool and left

I wondered what angered you what wrong did I do?

Oh yes! I was provoking you!

 

We all were bored when our teacher was away

You said we should bunk

But I said no...a vise-prefect can't bunk!

You glared at my golden badge I was pointing at with pride

But you laughed as if I was silly and maybe I was

Cause I was provoking you

 

You said that you love me a whole year later

But I said no'I'm sorry I'm not allowed to be in relationship;

I was just thirteen and studies were my priority

I again felt bad for you and was guilty to let you down

You disappeared for days together and I worried like hell

But you turned up later and I was happy to see you back

You said you were on study leave

I believed you'after all the seniors like you had so much to do

I didn't know you were planning and plotting with your friends

As I was provoking you...

 

I saw you approaching the prefects' room with your friends

And I said no'that you are not allowed inside and it's against the school rules;

But you came in anyways again glaring at my badge

I saw you this way for the first time and I was scared.

Your friends were smirking and I felt weird

I wanted to leave but they were blocking the door

I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice

I felt trapped and started to cry

But my tears provoked you instead!

 

You had me pinned to the wall

And your lips were pressing against mine

I kept pushing you all the time

But you were too strong to budge

I could feel your hands all over me

And my tears were burning into my skin

I could hear my muffled voice but your friends were laughing louder

I closed my eyes tight when I felt my uniform was being pulled at

I was too naive to know what you wanted from me

But you had your way at the end

The pain was unbearable and I thought I would die

Instead I was left there alone and alive

Was that a punishment for provoking you?

 

'cause that's what they say

That I was provoking you all that time



Edited by KwitKatts - 19 January 2013 at 7:01am

The following 21 member(s) liked the above post:

oceansseaLoveToLaughfaith_hopepAL-pALAryaSKurupKittya_CullenRadioactive.QuagMyredIndigoBluesroberoiTohrutistaaBlukittenChaiBiskootVishakha_SakhiThe.Patthaaka.--Ruchi--preity_dVerboseGitsRitzi

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QuagMyred

IF-Rockerz

QuagMyred

Joined: 20 October 2011

Posts: 7685

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
I am speechless!

I am overwhelmed!!!Smile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

KwitKatts

KwitKatts

IF-Dazzler

KwitKatts

Joined: 02 March 2011

Posts: 3085

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by QuagMyred

I am speechless!

I am overwhelmed!!!Smile
 
Thanks again Hug

Kurup

IF-Dazzler

Kurup

Joined: 08 June 2012

Posts: 2739

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
Speechlesss...infact heart wrenching...this pained me...

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

KwitKatts

roberoi

IF-Rockerz

roberoi

Joined: 14 June 2012

Posts: 7780

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
I am numb hence speechless or rather wordless!


The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

KwitKatts

Vishakha_Sakhi

IF-Sizzlerz

Vishakha_Sakhi

Joined: 09 August 2005

Posts: 19509

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
Haunting this is Kavi! Cry

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

KwitKatts

itsRitzi

IF-Stunnerz

itsRitzi

Madhubala Forum Banner Contest Winner

Joined: 12 May 2012

Posts: 42672

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 8:50pm | IP Logged
Clapas a writer u did tremendous job  now i also feel like doing writing something about cause 
 earlier i wrote about nature only and humans 

but this is so awesome so plainly written yet power ful


as a reader  ur ending was traumatic Cry

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

KwitKatts

KwitKatts

IF-Dazzler

KwitKatts

Joined: 02 March 2011

Posts: 3085

Posted: 19 January 2013 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kurup

Speechlesss...infact heart wrenching...this pained me...
 
Thanks a lot for commenting Kurup and for the PM tooBig smileBig smile I know its a sad one but had to write one on this...
 
 
 
 
 

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