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Marriage is a necessity? (Page 7)

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Goldie

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Posted: 27 January 2013 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
I disagree that marriage is a "choice."

We are socialized from the get go to accept marriage as an ultimate form of romantic commitment. The justice system and the economy both depend on it. Most people end up getting married because it's the norm. They accept it as part of their lives. Some people get married because of the legal legitimacy, or because of family pressure, or what not. Others do it because they are really into the attention of having a fancy wedding and what not. Sometimes people feel insecure about the stability of a relationship unless they are actually married.

Whatever the rationale, the point is that it is a significant social institution, and that in itself makes it a necessity. It's so important that even gay people fight for the right to get married. Which always fascinated me, because the whole idea of a gay lifestyle can challenge heteronormativity and monogamy in so many interesting and productive ways, but the mainstream gay rights movement is all about having the right to get married just like straight people do. So there you have it.

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Posted: 27 January 2013 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
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return_to_hades

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Posted: 27 January 2013 at 7:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Beyond_the_Veil

On a similar note, I also find it interesting how people who say marriage is an outdated institution and needs to be done away with are the same ones who would fight teeth-and-nail for social acceptance for gay marriage. To me marriage is not a necessity but it's not outdated either.


To me it is like this.

I don't believe in religion. I find religion to be an archaic institution. But I still support freedom of religion and people's rights to their beliefs. I don't think any religion should be discriminated against.

Similarly.

I don't like marriage. I find it to be an outdated institution. But I still support equal rights for people to marry whom they love. I don't think gay people should be discriminated against.

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Posted: 27 January 2013 at 9:56pm | IP Logged

It depends.

If you belong to desi family then marriage is extremely important if you want to live a respectable life. I can sugar coat stuff but any relationship outside of marriage is looked down at and is not considered proper.

In west it is more open and people will not look down at you. They just have totally different values.

In both cases it is not a necessity.



Edited by King-Anu - 27 January 2013 at 9:55pm

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Posted: 27 January 2013 at 10:07pm | IP Logged
Now I support gay marriage simply because the divorce hearings will be epic...!!!  LOLbt the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing !   Ouch

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Posted: 28 January 2013 at 5:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Beyond_the_Veil

Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by Beyond_the_Veil

On a similar note, I also find it interesting how people who say marriage is an outdated institution and needs to be done away with are the same ones who would fight teeth-and-nail for social acceptance for gay marriage. To me marriage is not a necessity but it's not outdated either.


To me it is like this.

I don't believe in religion. I find religion to be an archaic institution. But I still support freedom of religion and people's rights to their beliefs. I don't think any religion should be discriminated against.

Similarly.

I don't like marriage. I find it to be an outdated institution. But I still support equal rights for people to marry whom they love. I don't think gay people should be discriminated against.

Yeah but there seems to be a group who just opposes marriage based on traditional (often regressive) notions they've read over the media and support gay marriage for rebellious reasons or to set themselves apart, rather than actually sitting down and think about it ya know what I mean.

It's like they go "Marriage!! Are you freaking kidding me?! It's from the 1960s, just get over it and start living a meaningful life without getting through meaningless rituals and money making businesses and no need to bring God into your personal bedroom" and on the other hand would fight to death supporting gay marriages, saying "Marriage is more than rituals, a contract, it's the union of two God given souls, it's made it heaven, etc" (basically same arguments they've used against marriage now they are using it for it now).

But I understand your point.
 
LOL LOL 
 
That sounded quite hilarious.   Marriage may not work for some but that does not make it outdated. It seems to be working fine for others. As long as people dont get coerced into it I dont see any problems. Yes, some of the rituals could be quite tedious and we do get to see modifications.
The fun begins when one partner wishes to get married while the other is staunchly opposed to it as being outdated.
 

return_to_hades

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Posted: 28 January 2013 at 7:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Beyond_the_Veil


Yeah but there seems to be a group who just opposes marriage based on traditional (often regressive) notions they've read over the media and support gay marriage for rebellious reasons or to set themselves apart, rather than actually sitting down and think about it ya know what I mean.

It's like they go "Marriage!! Are you freaking kidding me?! It's from the 1960s, just get over it and start living a meaningful life without getting through meaningless rituals and money making businesses and no need to bring God into your personal bedroom" and on the other hand would fight to death supporting gay marriages, saying "Marriage is more than rituals, a contract, it's the union of two God given souls, it's made it heaven, etc" (basically same arguments they've used against marriage now they are using it for it now).

But I understand your point.


I have a stance very similar to what you describe. So let me explain my stance a bit. I do find marriage archaic in many ways. I don't like the rituals around it. I don't like how culturally it becomes the be all and end all, especially for women. I think people have reduced it to a hollow contract of conveniences rather than be a relationship of love and commitment. That is why I support gay marriage to culturally shift marriage towards being an expression of commitment. Also marriage will always be valid in the sense that it gives legal and other rights/protections which even gay people deserve.

 

Make sense?


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