Marriage is a necessity? (Page 7)

I disagree that marriage is a "choice."

We are socialized from the get go to accept marriage as an ultimate form of romantic commitment. The justice system and the economy both depend on it. Most people end up getting married because it's the norm. They accept it as part of their lives. Some people get married because of the legal legitimacy, or because of family pressure, or what not. Others do it because they are really into the attention of having a fancy wedding and what not. Sometimes people feel insecure about the stability of a relationship unless they are actually married.

Whatever the rationale, the point is that it is a significant social institution, and that in itself makes it a necessity. It's so important that even gay people fight for the right to get married. Which always fascinated me, because the whole idea of a gay lifestyle can challenge heteronormativity and monogamy in so many interesting and productive ways, but the mainstream gay rights movement is all about having the right to get married just like straight people do. So there you have it.

On a similar note, I also find it interesting how people who say marriage is an outdated institution and needs to be done away with are the same ones who would fight teeth-and-nail for social acceptance for gay marriage. To me marriage is not a necessity but it's not outdated either.

Edited by Beyond_the_Veil - 27 January 2013 at 3:29pm

To me it is like this.

I don't believe in religion. I find religion to be an archaic institution. But I still support freedom of religion and people's rights to their beliefs. I don't think any religion should be discriminated against.

Similarly.

I don't like marriage. I find it to be an outdated institution. But I still support equal rights for people to marry whom they love. I don't think gay people should be discriminated against.

It depends.

If you belong to desi family then marriage is extremely important if you want to live a respectable life. I can sugar coat stuff but any relationship outside of marriage is looked down at and is not considered proper.

In west it is more open and people will not look down at you. They just have totally different values.

In both cases it is not a necessity.

Edited by King-Anu - 27 January 2013 at 9:55pm

Now I support gay marriage simply because the divorce hearings will be epic...!!!  bt the divorce rate among my socks is astonishing !   

I have a stance very similar to what you describe. So let me explain my stance a bit. I do find marriage archaic in many ways. I don't like the rituals around it. I don't like how culturally it becomes the be all and end all, especially for women. I think people have reduced it to a hollow contract of conveniences rather than be a relationship of love and commitment. That is why I support gay marriage to culturally shift marriage towards being an expression of commitment. Also marriage will always be valid in the sense that it gives legal and other rights/protections which even gay people deserve.

 

Make sense?