I Wish I Could Cry - a poem

I just wish I could cry
and tell the world
that I'm hurt..

But the tears just refuse to show up
the lump has become a constant
you know the one you get in your throat

I wish I could cry like you do..
you hurt me and you cry..
hold on..! I'm supposed to shed those tears! Not you..

People think I'm an insensitive witch
who has got no emotions
"she would smile whatever happens..."
"she has got loads of attitude!!!"
well then keep talking because I can't help it!!

I'm jealous.. they shed those fake tears
and I'm left with nothing but a fake smile..
Why am I such a stupid..to keep up a happy face??
even though I know none would ask me if I don't..

I wish somebody could explain
to my heart
that there is nothing wrong in crying,
because it is not listening to me!!

Oh I'm so desperate..
Yes that is the word,
DESPERATE TO CRY!!!!!!!