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Debate : Who is Respnsible? (Page 8)

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meghasingh

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meghasingh

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:14am | IP Logged
@swastik...i dont care a bit that whom he kept his promise a man or a woman...case is still same, draupadi's individuality was screwed up every time...i mean it doesnt reduces her agony, and kunti she herself was a victim of patriarchy, after serving a sage and using a mantra she got pregnant and then she has to abandon her...just look at the way a woman's pain is neglected...another woman in mahabharata remained blindfolded for her husband's sake...i mean women have been literally f**ked up in the worst way possible(sorry for harsh language but that's what i feel, if all these things would had happened to me, then i would had def killed the whole clan)  and their agonies are hardly remembered.

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meghasingh

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meghasingh

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by IndigoBlues

Rape is NOT about sexual attraction. It's about domination. It's an act of bullying, plain and simple. A man doesn't rape you because you have worn shorts, but because you have in some way, threatened his precious little male ego.
Till around 100 years ago, women were never involved in the public domain. They were confined to their houses. Important decisions were made by males and womens simply watched and silently accepted it.
Now women are crossing this 'dehleez' and it infuriates the male ego to no end. You have cases of fathers raping their daughters-a male ego trying to make sure his 'izzat' is not infringed upon by any outsider by marking her as his. You have cases of strangers raping women-these are men who are uncomfortable at the idea of having to share their space with women.
Men rape because they're actually scared of women. All bullies are cowards, and same applies to rapists. We're a country of 1 billion people, and space is a major issue. There is competition in almost everything. The males were fine as long as they were competing with each other, but now that women are there in the rat race too, they're feeling victimized. They are realizing that women stand to usurp the economic and political power that they were denied to far.
And please, all you so called 'good' men, we'll know you're good when you give your mothers and sisters the same respect you give to your fathers and brothers, and when you stop thinking it's 'a man's duty to protect a woman'. How about 'It's a human being's duty to protect another human being, regardless of their gender?'


Dont know if i can agree more with u...100% true...i just dont know that how can you link sex and rape...i agree to every word with you...and i feel more screwed when i read a woman's statement that shorts provoked rape...just cant agree more...BINGO...

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rnfandebooIndigoBlues

IndigoBlues

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IndigoBlues

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:26am | IP Logged
I'm honestly tired of this whole blame game now.
The middle class blames the politicians. The politicians blame the police. The police blame the middle class. It's a vicious circle, and yes, it has exposed the sexism and patriarchy present in our country.
But c'mon. It's not like we never knew. I don't know why people are so 'shocked' when they hear MP's and godmen making foot-in-the-mouth comments. We are the ones who vote for them(or rather don't vote) and go to their meetings. Why are we absolving ourselves of any association to them?
There are people who are demanding that the culprits should be tortured like the victim was. There are people who are saying the police force should be suspended.
Tell me something, is giving the culprits a horrible punishment going to serve any purpose apart from turning us into a bunch of barbarians? And how can you blame the police force for being apathetic when they're so under-staffed and under-paid? Isn't it our fault for being too obsessed with engineering and medicine to notice that our country needs us for its security too?
The self-righteousness-both in the comments of the middle class and the political class-it drives me crazy. Everybody is eager to say 'Oh but I didn't do it, the big bad wolves in Lok Sabha did', like it'a stupid kindergarten fight.
Admit that the society as a whole is responsible. Society includes everyone-politicians, police, 'aam aadmi', the slum dwellers, every possible culprit you can think of. A society that is comfortable with ignoring poverty, illiteracy and patriarchy until some poor girl gets her intestines ripped out.
And please, do something constructive. Don't just hold candles or throw stones. Educate your children. Teach them the difference between 'good touch' and 'bad touch'. Don't be shy to discuss sex. Don't pass judgements on people who according to you are 'Westernized'. Talk to your mom the same way you talk to your dad. Speak up against male influence in the family. Speak up if you see a friend or a female relative being mistreated. Don't romanticize rape by saying 'Oh, but agression is just another word for passion!' next time you see violence against a woman on a TV screen.
 
Sign petitions. Do whatever, but just stop this blame game.

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..Bournville..meghasingh

fan145

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fan145

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:28am | IP Logged
i think its the view of men tht has to be changed ..like whn a girl walk thru pathway they start commenting on her...to an extent this teasing and commenting is berable ..i thnk the views shud be changed ...and for me if women follows certain precautionary steps like safety pins and all they might help her a lott...i live in uae , here we doesnt face any such thngs ,me and my mother alone has traveled at midnight ..but in india its  impossible...here we get a security ..even if boys comment on  me its enjoyable i mean its fnny ..but in inida i thnk its beyond limit

dude81

Senior Member

dude81

Joined: 10 November 2012

Posts: 225

Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by IndigoBlues

I'm honestly tired of this whole blame game now.
The middle class blames the politicians. The politicians blame the police. The police blame the middle class. It's a vicious circle, and yes, it has exposed the sexism and patriarchy present in our country.
But c'mon. It's not like we never knew. I don't know why people are so 'shocked' when they hear MP's and godmen making foot-in-the-mouth comments. We are the ones who vote for them(or rather don't vote) and go to their meetings. Why are we absolving ourselves of any association to them?
There are people who are demanding that the culprits should be tortured like the victim was. There are people who are saying the police force should be suspended.
Tell me something, is giving the culprits a horrible punishment going to serve any purpose apart from turning us into a bunch of barbarians? And how can you blame the police force for being apathetic when they're so under-staffed and under-paid? Isn't it our fault for being too obsessed with engineering and medicine to notice that our country needs us for its security too?
The self-righteousness-both in the comments of the middle class and the political class-it drives me crazy. Everybody is eager to say 'Oh but I didn't do it, the big bad wolves in Lok Sabha did', like it'a stupid kindergarten fight.
Admit that the society as a whole is responsible. Society includes everyone-politicians, police, 'aam aadmi', the slum dwellers, every possible culprit you can think of. A society that is comfortable with ignoring poverty, illiteracy and patriarchy until some poor girl gets her intestines ripped out.
And please, do something constructive. Don't just hold candles or throw stones. Educate your children. Teach them the difference between 'good touch' and 'bad touch'. Don't be shy to discuss sex. Don't pass judgements on people who according to you are 'Westernized'. Talk to your mom the same way you talk to your dad. Speak up against male influence in the family. Speak up if you see a friend or a female relative being mistreated. Don't romanticize rape by saying 'Oh, but agression is just another word for passion!' next time you see violence against a woman on a TV screen.
 
Sign petitions. Do whatever, but just stop this blame game.
so what should be done????? let them enjoy secured peaceful life??????
it is sooo easy to preach that the culprits should not be tortured... humanity... blah blah!!!
i just wish... once... for once... people try and empathetically view the girl and her family...
try and step in her shoes, her mom's shoes... her father-brothers shoes... god-forbid she could hav been you, or your sis... even then u would have said kepunishing the culprits is barbaric????
today you say candle marches are not cunstructive enough... well then what is?????
i agree that rape is an act of domination... so is ragging (although its miniscule before rape)... but dont we try to protect it????
and what police are you defending???? was the police understaffed when it wqas lathi charging the protesters?????
if they are underpaid... then should we add to their salaries????? understaffed???? if goverment does not wish to recruit police... then what should youth do???? forcefully recruit themselves???? and the police that is there... the laws for them were made in 1861... have not been revised so far... 65 yrs after independance... police reforms yet to see the light of the day!!!!
you find middle class self-righteous?????? let me enlighten you!
do you have any idea about the corruption in this country... so so so many scams...
forget all scams... just consider the value of cwg+2g. you know... if this amount instead of being skimmed off to swiss banks was distributed among indians...EACH INDIAN WOULD HAVE GOT 5 LAKH RS...  whole poverty of india... gone!!! it is mind boggling!!!!
when the government has to recruit police, doctors, teachers etc... open colleges... then government says we dont have enough money but does not bat an eyelid while giving corores of rs to industrialists as tax redumptions?????
which people attend the meetings of politicians... u think that most of middle class does it??? have u seen the rallies???? do i need to tell u what is the crowd there?????
my sociology teacher was once saying that in india, nothing is impossible! if government wants... within days it can remove poverty, caste system... corruption ... illitracy etc..!!!! b ut govt does not do so because they know that educated masses will first and foremost challange them only!
this is so true!
and in the end... the middle class you are accusing... is the sole hope of this country...
the candle marches enforce the solidarity... proove that indians can still get togather and shun selfishness of their jobs...
if thats not constructive for you... i dont see what is constructive then?????
and if u are saying "oh... its too little to late..." then all i can say is little steps make big leaps...
indian goverment would have shamelessly pardoned the'juvenile' who ripped out intestines with his bare hands...
but now they are talking of changing the law...
it takes efforts to come out on streets  and face the lathis of police my freind!!!!!
you cant take a blanket and cover the whole middle class of india...

-Alina.

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-Alina.

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Joined: 19 April 2011

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 8:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by WanderingBeauty

--Reserved--

"A girl does not get raped for her clothes or provocative acts! She gets raped because someone rapes her!"

-Alina.

IF-Sizzlerz

-Alina.

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 19 April 2011

Posts: 10428

Posted: 13 January 2013 at 8:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by --Pooja-

Mindset of the people is of course the main root of the problem but here I see is people blaming men. Let us look to this matter with a different view. Men are of course the culprit but we women/girls are no less. Just think do we respect our gender? NO! We don't. Every other minute we criticize a female. Think of the person you hate most and 90% of you will definitely think of a girl. Many girls do wrong thing, its not right but we behind their back make stories out of it and keep discussing it in open. One may think whats wrong in it but without knowing anything and just by making assumptions we almost spoil the character image of a girl. Is it right? Doing so, things pass on from a girl to boy, from women to men. Now hearing all such imaginary stories what may men think? That girls don't have a character. Its the thing. Just for instance take you have a friend group and so does you brother have one. We girls tend to less loyal and less honest as in compare to boys. We girls aren't loyal! Accept it.
In no way am I defending boys. They ARE wrong but we girls are no less.
Its about mindset, but not just of men. Its of women too. How? Because women are ready to accept that they are inferior, making men think they are superior. In our everyday we have a evidence. Our mother and we, we tend to obey every small thing we are old too. Right or wrong never matters. We see our mother asking permission from dad for every small thing but ever seen dad taking permission from mother? NO! They don't. WHY? Cause we think, its men job. It is. But women's too. Men are to decide what color curtains we put in home, but are women to decide what color of chair should their husband keep in their office? Yes they have right and they should but they DON'T.
But you all mus be think how does this encourage such inhumane activities. Then when all these happen we see it out little brothers see it, our elder brother see it. Our brother from that time onward develop a sense of superiority thinking we women are nothing but just a robot who work on their order. Gradually as they grow up and things don't work out for them they want something that should satisfy them. Finding nothing they either start taking up drugs or look out for a girl for sexual need and pleasure. Here girl does not mean females up to age of 16-25 or somewhere near but it maybe a child of 5 years or a women age somewhat similar to our grandmother. What they die for is sexual pleasure. Same goes with men. Rape is not committed by boys of age 18-28 but as we saw boys of age 13 too and men of age 45, 61 too.
So what is it leading to? Contamination. Contamination of human mind.
Other factors are of course there but I am not stating them as everyone already did. This was something I didn't saw anywhere so I thought I should put this up.
And one more thing, we girls are born with a inborn moral and that is dignity. We are expected that we maintain dignity of our family, of our nation. It doesn't mean we are not allow to wear knee-length dress but there is specific way. Comparing India and US is of no use cause what I believe is US has its own culture and India too has it own. Both countries ought to differ.

One more thing, sensual scenes in movie like kissing, just kissing doesn't provoke one. Kissing never does. What does the way women are shown. Their character, they are shown cheap. Advertisement. Just I was check my post and see it is there. Wont it make men shift their gaze from main content to this? Not men, if any of you too saw wont you shift your gaze? These are what provokes one. I forgot the name but the girl released her nude picture after KKR won. Good enough? NO!

Okay I decided not to post the adv. here maybe I may get banned due to reason but we often find such adv.

P.S. Its just my views.

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-Alina.

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-Alina.

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 8:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tannipartner

 The problem is with our mindset. ours is a hypocrite culture. We fast for 9 days during navratri to worship a goddess and yet can observe dudh pilao when a girl child is born in our family.

The culture that starts by thinking one half of the population is burden, that the womb that brought them here is the root of all evil, can only end in this.



making laws will not help, even implementing them will not. There will always be people who will take advantage of law. There are so many opressed wives and yet so many daughters in law who misuse  section 498A.

What we need is a total overhaul. That unfortunately will only happen when we have reached the end of our decline.


Today, 12th January, is the birthday of the biggest youth icon of India. Swami Vivekananda. I will qoute what he said about women and our mentality 120 yrs back. Its still valid today.

It is very difficult to understand why in this country [India] so much difference is made between men and women, whereas the Vedanta declares that one and the same conscious Self is present in all beings. You always criticize the women, but say what have you done for their uplift? Writing down Smritis etc., and binding them by hard rules, the men have turned the women into manufacturing machines! If you do not raise the women, who are living embodiment of the Divine Mother, don't think that you have any other way to rise.

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