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Debate : Who is Respnsible? (Page 7)

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.dream-catcher.

IF-Stunnerz

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 2:02am | IP Logged
@Ninja exactly what I Said. Read my prespective in a page before this.

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Ninja.

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meghasingh

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meghasingh

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 4:33am | IP Logged
@pooja i do agree with you 101% that women are their biggest enemies... but you know they all are brainwashed, indian western or any other culture had ideals, strict notions and stereotypes about how men and women should be...and following them, even women can't think what they r saying...
problem is the mindset, men and women's both...girls just stop believing that u r inferior...

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meghasingh

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 4:40am | IP Logged
@swati...i just gave example of Hinduism but india consist other religions too...and the truth is that every religion is full of these things...and geeta, it produces another example... a tragedy story for women...a guy whom i love, marries me and then ask me to be the wife of his brothers too...i swear, i'm gonna kill the whole clan by the most brutal method possible. it happened with a princess, Draupadi...how agonizing it would had been for her...??
All the religions in india are fully guided by patriarchal notions where women is either a sex toy or a machine for bearing children.

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IF-Sizzlerz

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SwastikAshNi

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 6:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by meghasingh

@swati...i just gave example of Hinduism but india consist other religions too...and the truth is that every religion is full of these things...and geeta, it produces another example... a tragedy story for women...a guy whom i love, marries me and then ask me to be the wife of his brothers too...i swear, i'm gonna kill the whole clan by the most brutal method possible. it happened with a princess, Draupadi...how agonizing it would had been for her...??
All the religions in india are fully guided by patriarchal notions where women is either a sex toy or a machine for bearing children.
Very true Megha,btw my name is Swastik and m a guy.But one thing i correct you,that was part of Mahabharata,not Geeta-Geeta was separately written.And Arjun's action was to keep promise to her mother-an woman!Not going on one or two instances,i believe Original Indian tradition can provide the respect for woman while western ideas can bring modernize views of woman right,freedom and equality.Whatever the basic fact remains-Womanhood is needed to be respected with all equality and use the advantage of democracy to ensure Law and Order,Safety for Woman-by raising legitimate demands and voting for the better Govt.


Edited by SwastikAshNi - 13 January 2013 at 8:37am

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rnfandeboo

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rnfandeboo

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 6:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by dmgloverforever

Originally posted by meghasingh

First of all I would like to say...really good topic...Clap

and now coming to the point...directly if I have to say then it is mentality, it is rooted in our society, in our culture, our patriarchal society which induces the difference between a girl and a boy even before their birth. Clothes can provoke rape...it is completely dumb and absolutely nonsense and another excellent example how blame is shifted on women for everything wrong.

I would like to give an example for those who live in India, especially girls...everyone of us would had definitely faced the difference between a girl and a boy, if not in their family then outside for sure... it's not just about rape, but little things which we chose to ignore...many times me too bcz vulgar comments are so common that you just can't counter them everytime, but when i can, i do...and it is a real incident of my life...not any rural area, but CP...we were four girls at the metro station, and two guys passed comments and gestures on us... we countered them, ultimately they were quiet but then an enough decent looking comments... "agar itne sharif ho toh is waqt aise kapdon mein akele kya kar rahi ho..?" we felt screwed up for a moment... but it's the mentality and the ethics which parents induce in their children.
For me as an individual, it's almost impossible to even think that how can such men exist, but from my personal experience that clothes, alcohol nothing provokes... if you do have a proper mentality then you can't even think of harming anyone... I do have many guys in my life like this, and they give me hope...really...thankfully in my life all the men and guys i love are really wonderful.

Waiting for the day when we girls would be able to walk without any fear wearing whatever we want, and our parents won't worry about us at any time day or night.


I loved your comment about Bollywood movies and their portrayal of women as sex toys In fact I even hit like for it and as for the incident you narrated I'm glad you and your friends were able to make it to saftey :) 


Now coming to the point that "Clothes" don't provoke. I forgot to touch upon that in my comment and here's my two cents. I don't know how to say this without sounding regressive or insensitive, But in my opinion, clothes do provoke. Period.  
A man is physically attracted to a woman and similarly women are physically attracted to men, same goes for homosexual individual and we can't deny that because sex is a basic need for human beings, it's a natural instinct. So a man is going to stare at a woman who is wearing revealing clothes not because he has a bad mentality but because he's naturally conditioned to do so. Same goes for a woman, I know I would stare at a guy walking by with a muscular figure, now I might not be thinking about sex or rape but there is the attraction and that's undeniable. Similarly the man staring at the woman might not be thinking about rape or sex but the sight is pleasing to his eyes. can't do anything about it.  Now if that man was a nutcase he might end up doing something repulsive for all we know. 
I know the idea sounds crazy that  woman shouldn't wear revealing clothes  because some nutjob doesn't have enough resistance but at the end of the day I'd rather have my safety and my peace of my mind rather then walking outside with a bikini on because I have the independence to do so and men should have better control over their instincts.
I know it's not fair, but what would you rather have? 



u are talking about overall physical appearance  which includes having a fit body, dressing up well, a good hairstyle, the way she walks/talks ,a normal person gets attracted to a woman  bcs of all these and that's normal ,that's how a human searches for a partner ,but some men don't care about these things what matters to them that we have a uterus...
 
talking about staring, a girl can stare at a boy in an admiring manner but some boy's ...they stare like in a really wrong way, looking at someone's body as if u are going to eat it ,that is called lust. Admiration and this uncontrollable desire to stare at a woman these both things are different.in my view staring at a woman is a kind of sexual harassment .and a man who is bond by nature to stare at a woman's body is likely to commit a crime like rape. If male hormones can make him look  at  a woman's body then why can't they make him wanting to touch her...
 
don't compare the way a woman looks at a man to the way a man looks at woman .Both, men and women's  mind function differently...both have different hormones.
 
i would like to tell abt something that happened with my frn, a few days back she was travelling by a bus, and this man standing near her was staring at her chest. When she reached college and I met her, she was almost in tears .Was the man's behaviour healthy...?would he not commit a crime due to his lust...? he was bond to stare at her chest by undeniable instincts...natural instincts, male hormones...is this type of staring ok? no, definitely not .natural instincts are responsible and that's a science  fact but then again the same question arises...how can we be sure that this instinct will not take  a man further...?my friend was dressed from tip to toe and was wearing thick sweaters and an overcoat  on upper part of the body.
 
 
coming to Delhi rape case, the girl wasn't raped only the culprits did more and all of u know what i am talking about...this show's how crazy some men can be about a woman's body...how mad can they be...how much they fantasize a woman's body...they are not men ,they are animals, and they want to rip off a woman's body...
 
 
at the end i would like to say that the right punishment would be castration  for Delhi case culprits. but our system they can't  give a fast and right judgement even in an open and shut case.

meghasingh

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meghasingh

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:06am | IP Logged
Look girls or guys...basic thing is that I won't even think in my dreams that alcohol, short dresses, clothes, late night anything provokes to rape... because I am saying it with my own experiences.
There is definitely something called attraction, desires, hormone things and all, but in my view nothing, nothing in any case can lead to rape or even molestation if the guys do have a proper mentality.
few examples from my personal life: I do love parties, i do wear short clothes, and western dresses, i love to go out at night but if you say that I'm provoking rape...then hello... it would be so much horrible, undesirable and atrocious for me as for a girl wrapped in saree.

and sexual desires and all... if a guy has basic ethics then he can't even think like this... I do know because I know such guys... my friends(boys) and yeah none of us is kinda perfect or ideal kinda person, we all talk openly about everything, a great deal of flirting and everything, and in our huge group there are enough likes and crushes on each other, but I do know that none of them would even think about doing so, although it may be really easy for them.
and moreover it's my experience...my cousin looks after his three friends, drunk for the first time in a party, brings them at my home and we looked after them till morning... all three were in western "provocative", and one of them was my bro's ex... and my cousin was quite intimate with her... he had still that time a crush on her, but obviously if desires are natural then respecting others is also a natural thing in decent people.


Edited by meghasingh - 13 January 2013 at 7:11am

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IndigoBlues

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Posted: 13 January 2013 at 7:07am | IP Logged
Rape is NOT about sexual attraction. It's about domination. It's an act of bullying, plain and simple. A man doesn't rape you because you have worn shorts, but because you have in some way, threatened his precious little male ego.
Till around 100 years ago, women were never involved in the public domain. They were confined to their houses. Important decisions were made by males and womens simply watched and silently accepted it.
Now women are crossing this 'dehleez' and it infuriates the male ego to no end. You have cases of fathers raping their daughters-a male ego trying to make sure his 'izzat' is not infringed upon by any outsider by marking her as his. You have cases of strangers raping women-these are men who are uncomfortable at the idea of having to share their space with women.
Men rape because they're actually scared of women. All bullies are cowards, and same applies to rapists. We're a country of 1 billion people, and space is a major issue. There is competition in almost everything. The males were fine as long as they were competing with each other, but now that women are there in the rat race too, they're feeling victimized. They are realizing that women stand to usurp the economic and political power that they were denied to far.
And please, all you so called 'good' men, we'll know you're good when you give your mothers and sisters the same respect you give to your fathers and brothers, and when you stop thinking it's 'a man's duty to protect a woman'. How about 'It's a human being's duty to protect another human being, regardless of their gender?'

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