Posted: 13 January 2013 at 6:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by dmgloverforever
Originally posted by meghasinghFirst of all I would like to say...really good topic...
and now coming to the point...directly if I have to say then it is mentality, it is rooted in our society, in our culture, our patriarchal society which induces the difference between a girl and a boy even before their birth. Clothes can provoke rape...it is completely dumb and absolutely nonsense and another excellent example how blame is shifted on women for everything wrong.
I would like to give an example for those who live in India, especially girls...everyone of us would had definitely faced the difference between a girl and a boy, if not in their family then outside for sure... it's not just about rape, but little things which we chose to ignore...many times me too bcz vulgar comments are so common that you just can't counter them everytime, but when i can, i do...and it is a real incident of my life...not any rural area, but CP...we were four girls at the metro station, and two guys passed comments and gestures on us... we countered them, ultimately they were quiet but then an enough decent looking comments... "agar itne sharif ho toh is waqt aise kapdon mein akele kya kar rahi ho..?" we felt screwed up for a moment... but it's the mentality and the ethics which parents induce in their children.
For me as an individual, it's almost impossible to even think that how can such men exist, but from my personal experience that clothes, alcohol nothing provokes... if you do have a proper mentality then you can't even think of harming anyone... I do have many guys in my life like this, and they give me hope...really...thankfully in my life all the men and guys i love are really wonderful.
Waiting for the day when we girls would be able to walk without any fear wearing whatever we want, and our parents won't worry about us at any time day or night.
I loved your comment about Bollywood movies and their portrayal of women as sex toys In fact I even hit like for it and as for the incident you narrated I'm glad you and your friends were able to make it to saftey :)
Now coming to the point that "Clothes" don't provoke. I forgot to touch upon that in my comment and here's my two cents. I don't know how to say this without sounding regressive or insensitive, But in my opinion, clothes do provoke. Period.
A man is physically attracted to a woman and similarly women are physically attracted to men, same goes for homosexual individual and we can't deny that because sex is a basic need for human beings, it's a natural instinct. So a man is going to stare at a woman who is wearing revealing clothes not because he has a bad mentality but because he's naturally conditioned to do so. Same goes for a woman, I know I would stare at a guy walking by with a muscular figure, now I might not be thinking about sex or rape but there is the attraction and that's undeniable. Similarly the man staring at the woman might not be thinking about rape or sex but the sight is pleasing to his eyes. can't do anything about it. Now if that man was a nutcase he might end up doing something repulsive for all we know.
I know the idea sounds crazy that woman shouldn't wear revealing clothes because some nutjob doesn't have enough resistance but at the end of the day I'd rather have my safety and my peace of my mind rather then walking outside with a bikini on because I have the independence to do so and men should have better control over their instincts.
I know it's not fair, but what would you rather have?
u are talking about overall physical appearance which includes having a fit body, dressing up well, a good hairstyle, the way she walks/talks ,a normal person gets attracted to a woman bcs of all these and that's normal ,that's how a human searches for a partner ,but some men don't care about these things what matters to them that we have a uterus...
talking about staring, a girl can stare at a boy in an admiring manner but some boy's ...they stare like in a really wrong way, looking at someone's body as if u are going to eat it ,that is called lust. Admiration and this uncontrollable desire to stare at a woman these both things are different.in my view staring at a woman is a kind of sexual harassment .and a man who is bond by nature to stare at a woman's body is likely to commit a crime like rape. If male hormones can make him look at a woman's body then why can't they make him wanting to touch her...
don't compare the way a woman looks at a man to the way a man looks at woman .Both, men and women's mind function differently...both have different hormones.
i would like to tell abt something that happened with my frn, a few days back she was travelling by a bus, and this man standing near her was staring at her chest. When she reached college and I met her, she was almost in tears .Was the man's behaviour healthy...?would he not commit a crime due to his lust...? he was bond to stare at her chest by undeniable instincts...natural instincts, male hormones...is this type of staring ok? no, definitely not .natural instincts are responsible and that's a science fact but then again the same question arises...how can we be sure that this instinct will not take a man further...?my friend was dressed from tip to toe and was wearing thick sweaters and an overcoat on upper part of the body.
coming to Delhi rape case, the girl wasn't raped only the culprits did more and all of u know what i am talking about...this show's how crazy some men can be about a woman's body...how mad can they be...how much they fantasize a woman's body...they are not men ,they are animals, and they want to rip off a woman's body...
at the end i would like to say that the right punishment would be castration for Delhi case culprits. but our system they can't give a fast and right judgement even in an open and shut case.