Joined: 06 September 2012
Ashuthosh walked under burning sun, even the bright sunshine did not comfort him …instead he felt absorbed in his own darkness. Leaving behind outside world, he passed under metal arch of hospital gates ahead towers of concrete and glass panes, he felt swallowed up in this place, in this harsh reality. As he entered the building, his reflection crawled over panes of glass, windows caged the sky into blue squares...he walked towards his cabin with his heavy foot echoing thorough corridor walls. As he burrowed deep inside the hospital, sunshine faded to replace with place humming strip light burn.
He let go of Nidhi's hand which clutching to his side , he walked away without even looking back …after reaching his cabin , ., in mere attempt to let go his penting up grief …he closed the door and sank in his chair , closing his eyes he exhaled deeply Its been over week, since he came to know about Baba's illness, its been a week since he slept ate and acted normally … He couldn't do any of it, for a week almost without speaking, he moved around like sleepwalker …He choked as baba's face danced under his closed eyes lids , shifting his vision a tear trickled , evaporating even before he felt it ..
He was jolted out of his thoughts with sheer sound of his intercom
"Hello" he mumbled hiding his disturbed voice
" Hello Sir , We have a patient here " Dr Priyanka muttered from other end
" yes brief me "
"Case look like meningitis" she mumbled
"hmm…"he remained silent for sometime and slowly he replied " I will be there "
By the time , he reached , he saw young man in his early 30's lying in bed with blanket covering till his chin …Dr priyanka briefed him that this young man woke up complaining crushing headache and now he is barely conscious and with high fever …
"Does the light bother you?" Ashuthosh asked
" yes " young man's mother answered
Ashuthosh put his finger around the base of his skull and tried to bend his neck forward angling his chin towards chest...young man resisted and groaned in pain…Ashuthosh draw his legs towards his chest then tried to straighten his knees but again he resisted and groaned in pain…
Ashuthosh asked nurse to take some blood samples and he then addressed Dr Priyanka
" Do an LP immediately and I will make arrangement for CT scan, get all reports soon"
Priyanka nodded her head..
Ashuthosh stared at young man's face, colorless and distressed with sheer force of pain he is suffering …Over the years in this profession, he had seen and treated so many, but strangely as he stared at young man's face , he did not looked like patient whom he is treat not like anonymous face he is going treat but he looked so human , a man ..young and cheerful ..A life which was filled with dreams and promise of tomorrow but within instant he felt , this young man's life lost balance and stumbled across suddenly …as he stared a wave of melancholy gushed over him with force such that he feared that he might break down and sob .Suddenly image of his baba danced in front of his eyes, making him nauseate as harsh reality again hit him on his face as he absurdly moved away from them and walked towards his cabin ….
Evening, after finishing his work, Ashuthosh collected his things, passing through cold hospital corridors he walked towards parking lot , he checked his mobile to find Nidhi's SMS stating that she already reached home since her duty ended early….He was about to go outside when Dr priyanka called him from behind telling him about young man's disoriented state , that his condition suddenly disoriented because of some severe blood infection ..where in some parts of his body are prone to bleeding and some are clotting and it all creating risk of organ damage and gangrene ..Ashuthosh checked his reports and asked Dr priyanka to give him 2 units of FFP and keep him posted in case of emergency.
Suddenly he felt someone standing beside him as he turned around to see young man's mother standing with anxious face " how he is doctor ?" she asked
" I am afraid , he caught some sever blood infection .." Looking away Ashuthosh muttered
" He is going to be all right though isn't he ?" her voice trembled and she looked down …Ashuthosh stared at her frail figure , she might be any kind of capable person in outside world but so deep over the dividing line into this cold corridors, she's meek and fragile and overwhelmed ….helpless like him !
" I hope so" he managed to mumble
"Please make him get better doctor" tears welled up in her eyes ..." don't let anything happen to him …he is all I got "As he stared at her, it occurred to him that she believes ...that he is doctor , who have exert control circumstances than this young man who is struggling , than her ..That he can heal any wound, any damage by his one touch …he believed it but suddenly as reality dawned, he found himself standing in her place..Feeling same way where he is fragile, helpless and overwhelmed …just like this mother, desperate to find way to save his beloved …
Standing there , he tried hard to not break down , slowly He swallowed up his sobs and managed to mumble "yes , he will get better " and strolled across corridors with heavy heart as breeze carrying scent of grass and leaves refreshed his mind ..He climbed into car and followed the roadway and moved out of thick metal gates of hospital …
After finishing dinner and winding up everything, Nidhi entered bedroom to find Ashuthosh sitting in his arm chair deep in thought...she sighed looking at his face. How hard she may try but she couldn't shake him out of his grief., he looked so lost and vulnerable all at once …slowly she walked towards him and put her hand on his shoulder …he relaxed and looked at her face ….his stern expression changed to replace with warmth and softness as he mumbled " you look exhausted "
Nidhi shook her head " No ….I am fine " she moved towards bedside table to drink glass of water …
Ashuthosh got up and sat next to her ….Nidhi stared at his face questioningly "How was your day?" Nidhi asked looking at his distressed face …He shifted uneasily as young man's mothers pleading words mingled in his thoughts making him even more sadder than he is …he shook his head to shoo off those thoughts" baba took medicines ….?"Ashuthosh asked
Nidhi nodded her head " yes , he did and he is sleeping now ….today I gave him nice oil message …he is feeling lot better now "
He give her small smile as slowly he put his hand around her waist and make her put her face on his shoulder …." Are you fine seriously?.. You look tired and sick …"
"hmm .."Nidhi mumbled snuggling into his arm
They both sat like that for sometime and slowly Ashuthosh muttered "Nidhi …." And he remained silent...Nidhi looked up at his face …" Nidhi …Baba will get better isn't he ?"
Nidhi took his hand and remained silent " Nidhi …I want baba to get better …he is all I have , my baba …I cant lose him "
Nidhi looked at his face …" Nidhi …I will do anything to make him better ….I just don't know what to do " he twitched his face in pain
Nidhi cupped his face ..." We will do everything to make Baba get better …there is always a way Ashuthosh …" She mumbled as tears trickled down her face …he inched his face closer and buried his face deep in her neck..She kissed softly on his thick dark hair and hold him as if to comfort him …Now very much against his will , he looked at nidhi eyes …the blaze of faith in them , her belief in him …he had always thought she is strong …staring at her face , he inched closer and kissed softly on her lips as if trying to swallow up her strength , her faith in his heart ….she reacted immediately as she put her hand around his neck and kissed him tenderly as if trying to lessen his grief ..as if tying to swallow his grief in her heart ..
There was lot of pain in that kiss , there was so much grief and fear , nidhi felt tears rolling down both of their faces but even in that kiss there was so much want , as if both of them want to smother out pain… She broke the kiss followed by sound of his heavy sobs erupting from deep within him , mingled with his fear and uncertainty ….He buried his face in her neck , after hiding and not expressing for days , finally he slide down his guards and expressed his grief breaking down in front of her ..He felt her strong hands pulling him into her lap and he involuntary give in as he put his face in her lap ..He lied there like that sobbing meekly, with his hand clutching tightly around her waist as she ruffled his hair and hold him close to her in an attempt to comfort him ...He is not sure whether he can save Baba , he is not sure what will happen tomorrow , he is not sure what is in store for them ….But as he lied in her lap like this , a strange kind of relief flooded thorough him , making him realize that he is not alone in all this ..Not alone like he was before but he has nidhi as slowly he looked at her face and mumbled " Nidhi …I will do everything to save Baba " She smiled at his face encouragingly as he slowly slumped to deep undisturbed sleep in her lap …holding her hand close, clinging to her , his strength ..Nidhi !!
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