Castiel Humor

-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20111

Posted: 07 January 2013 at 6:57pm | IP Logged
Hey Hunters,

I was re-watching some of the old episodes and realized that Cas has the next best lines to Dean.  I love the confused Cas because it's hilarious the way he has no idea of even the basic, simplest things.  And of course, the looks he gets from Dean are just as hilarious.  So I thought of posting some of my favorite Cas lines.  Please do add any of your favorite ones!

The epic moment was, of course, "Hey, Assbutt" ROFL I cracked up but even more so, when Dean repeats it in disbelief, "assbutt?" LOL  I think part of the reason why it was so effective is because things were so intense at the moment, that this served as a brief comic relief.

Cas's Voicemail: I don't understand, why, why do you want me to say my name?  LOL

Dean: Try New Mexico, I hear he's (God) on a tortilla.
Cas: No, he's not on any flatbread.

Sam: Are you drunk?
Cas: No! ... yes.
Sam: What the h*ll happened to you?
Cas: I found a liquor store.
Sam: And?
Cas: And I drank it! LOL

Dean: Where the h*ll have you been?
Cas: On a bender
Dean: Did he... did you just say "on a bender?"
Sam: Yeah! He's still pretty smashed.
Cas: It is not of import. ROFL

Cas: The wh*** can only be killed by a true servant of heaven. 
Dean: Servant like... 
Cas: Not you. Or me. Sam, of course, is an abomination. LOL

Dean: Hey, there. So, Cas, what's the word? 
Cas: Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys... are so clever, and their sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?  ROFLROFL
Dean: Not very. 

Cas: I'll interrogate the cat. ROFL

Cas: Well, I think we're clear for the moment. It does present a curious curl in the metaphysics, doesn't it? If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go? 
Benny: And this is the crazy aunt I want to take on the road? 
Cas: I am not your aunt. 
Benny: What? Really? 
Cas: I have no possible relationship with your sibling offspring. LOLLOL
Benny: Now you're kidding me. 
Dean: Oh, you two are killin' me. LOL

Edited by -Mystery- - 07 January 2013 at 10:29pm

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-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20111

Posted: 07 January 2013 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
Some more:

Sam: What you like him better or something?
Cas: Dean and I do share a more profound bond...I wasn't going to mention it. LOL

Cas (while talking to Dean on cellphone): This isn't funny, Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes.

Cas: This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here. 

Dean: Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space? 
Cas: My apologies. 

Sam: What happened to him? (Pointing at the beaten-up Dean)
Cas: Me

Dean: So what, you're like a DeLorean without enough plutonium? 
Cas: I don't understand that reference (like any others).

Sam: Are you okay?
Cas: Don't ask stupid questions. ROFL (Love the way he says that in Sam's ear)

Raphael: I will find you!
Castiel: Maybe one day, but today you're my little b*tch.

Dean (on phone): Cas, it's Dean. Yeah, room 31 C, basement level, St. James Medical Center...
Cas (appears in front of him): I'm there now.
Dean: Yeah, I get that.
Cas: I'm gonna hang up now.
Dean: Right.

Sam: Take care of these guys, okay?
Cas: That's not possible.
Sam: Then humor me.
Cas: Oh. I was supposed to lie. (chuckles and continues with an expression that yells "I'm lying!!"LOL) Uh... sure. They'll be fine, I...
Sam: Just--just stop... talking.

Cas: I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... just wait for the inevitable blast wave.
Dean: Yes, well, thank you, Bukowski.

Cas: Please, accept this sandwich as a gesture of solidarity. LOL

Dean: What's the word, Cas? 
Castiel: It's the shortened version of my name. 

Cas:  Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I've spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent.

Cas: You only have 24 hours. 
Sam: What? Why? 
Cas: Well, the answer to your question can best be expressed as a series of partial differential equations... LOL
Bobby: Aim lower. 

Cas: [about the hamburger he's eating] These make me very happy. 
Dean: Seriously, how many is that? 
Cas: I lost count, but it's in the low hundreds. Shocked

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chhilt IF-Rockerz

Joined: 07 January 2008
Posts: 6434

Posted: 09 January 2013 at 6:31am | IP Logged
Castiel: The demon Crowley is making a deal. Even as we speak, it's... going... down. 
Dean: "Going down?" Right. Okay, Huggy-Bear. Just don't lose him.

Dean: If you wan our help, why the hell didn't you just ask?
Castiel: Because, whatever I ask, you seem to do the exact opposite.

Lucifer: Castiel, did you just Molotov my brother... with holy fire?
Castiel: Uh... no?

Castiel: It's starting.
Dean: Yeah, you think, genius?
Castiel: You don't have to be mean.

Crowley: What's in the gift bag?
Castiel: (pulls out a skull) You are.

Kevin Tran: You're one of the Angels?
Castiel: (touches Kevin's nose) Boop.

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-Mystery- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 31 August 2007
Posts: 20111

Posted: 09 January 2013 at 11:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chhilt

Lucifer: Castiel, did you just Molotov my brother... with holy fire?
Castiel: Uh... no?

I love his expression there.. Dude, you just molotov his brother right in front of him and now you're denying it?! LOL

BTW, congrats, Chhilt! You can post now ! 

Edited by -Mystery- - 09 January 2013 at 11:25am

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Almas. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 25 September 2008
Posts: 17458

Posted: 10 January 2013 at 10:05am | IP Logged
Lol.. Cass innocent humor is too good
Almas. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 25 September 2008
Posts: 17458

Posted: 10 January 2013 at 10:06am | IP Logged
Dean's reac to assbutt was awesomeLOL

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Jyotimena IF-Rockerz

Joined: 31 January 2011
Posts: 9823

Posted: 11 January 2013 at 2:05am | IP Logged
My fav is s5 cas 'talks'LOL
rahmona_pakswe IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 13 July 2009
Posts: 18773

Posted: 11 January 2013 at 3:14am | IP Logged
Awesome post!
Cas is hilarious! My love for this character is insane.
There is one line I love, which surprisingly no one has mentioned, is:
"I learned that from the pizza man"
That line cracked me up badly. ROFL
Another favourite: "Pull my finger!" LOL
There are a few others I like but they are slightly...err...dirty (yet funny). LOL Like the one about cats and their private parts. ROFL

Edited by rahmona_pakswe - 11 January 2013 at 3:26am

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