Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

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Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain
Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

The attack - OS (part 5-pg 15 18/2/13) (Page 4)

-Pj- IF-Rockerz
-Pj-
-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006
Posts: 8315

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nadianadyne

Amazingly written os:)
Love how u potray everyone emotions
Do write more:)


Thank you for liking the Os.

-Pj- IF-Rockerz
-Pj-
-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006
Posts: 8315

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by urmilsalve

as usual again a brilliant piece of writing...ur writing skills r really gr8...the way u potray emotions of every character is marvellous...hats off..


Thank you for liking this Os.

Thank you for the complement of my writing skill, I actually think I'm not that great, I try just to make sure it is all coherent.
sweetdollashita Goldie
sweetdollashita
sweetdollashita

Joined: 19 June 2012
Posts: 1107

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 12:36am | IP Logged
wowowww
superb os

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

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nobo IF-Dazzler
nobo
nobo

Joined: 14 March 2012
Posts: 4304

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 5:23am | IP Logged
Pj, Sorry m late, I did read it the same day you posted :)
   One of your best works I'd say & very much on a right time when we are going thru a phase of change on large...
 Everything was brilliant ...Jeevika's situation, Virat's restlessness , Viren's helplessness & Manvi's worries, Penned really nicely 

Jeevika not wanting to disturb her loved ones even more & somewhere deep down scared of Thier reactions  Kept every pain , trauma to herself, which is natural. Viren's frustration of not being able to be there for her...the question as to why it had to Their small happy family...Very realistic
 I especially loved the last part , Manvi's words
 "Di You didn't have control over what happened to you, But you can Control NOW "
 Again Jeevika 's " She told you "...& her pulling away But Viren's emotional but still firm assurance...I loved this because neither Manvi Nor Viren Were over reactive...She would have hated sympathy in Their eyes But it was Just an assurance that it was not your fault & that you have every right to be happy , to be safe & To live ...Yet Again

& yeah Jeevika being paranoid for a while was nicely described !!
Really  Awesome ...Loved it

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Saba_Pari IF-Rockerz
Saba_Pari
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Joined: 13 October 2012
Posts: 6637

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 5:34am | IP Logged
Great updates and plz pm me next time
sajanfan004 Goldie
sajanfan004
sajanfan004

Joined: 08 June 2010
Posts: 1468

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 5:53am | IP Logged
Amazing story! 
Loved the way how you showed all the emotions.. 
Your a truly brilliant writer... 
Please update soon and do PM me!
pinky.padda IF-Rockerz
pinky.padda
pinky.padda

Joined: 07 December 2011
Posts: 7182

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
oh my god this is absolutely brilliant bought tears to my eyes
-Pj- IF-Rockerz
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Joined: 20 February 2006
Posts: 8315

Posted: 05 January 2013 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Amii90

<font color="#6600FF">First thing first, I read this OS before going to sleep and I don't think it was great idea solely because of the content of the story- kinda left me with a heavy heart!! But besides that there is no doubt that it was one of the brilliantly written OS :)

The
detail you have put in this OS is just AMAZING, Pj!!!! One could easily
form vivid image of everything they read and feel those emotions in the
same way if one was to watch it on screen. The concept becomes
different due to its treatment; your take and how you have outlined
everything makes it refreshing to read and manages to glue its readers
till the very end! You have portrayed Jeevika beautifully- her actions, her turmoil, her emotional setback, her aggitation, etc- makes it all very REAL and genuine at the same time without any exaggeration!

Viren, Manvi, and Virat were depicted nicely too; especially with Viren's anger and disappointment in himself of failing to protect Jeevika was brilliant- relates to the Viren in the show too as we saw in the case of Karan and Jeevika's video footage!

Its not easy to write such content; requires you to be lot more diligent with what you play around and how you project the entire idea, but like always you have a done superb job, Pj :)
</font>



Thank you Ami for your comments. Reading this before bed, may not be the best idea.

You have to be very careful with the words you use and how say it. I tried something different I did have some help from a show that showed a similar situation.

Thank you for saying that it is written well as I can see many things wrong it - mainly wording or little issues. Without exaggeration! I know I tend to keep things underplayed so worry if it comes how I intend to. Detail? Really, not limited detail. I'll stop playing devil advocate now.

Dear Ami, I don't know what to say. I'm really glad that you enjoy different emotions of everyone but especially Jeevika's as getting those right is important otherwise it wouldn't come off right. After we saw Viren after he saw that footage, of seeing how Jeevika was treated by Karan, you can see how that's come across.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Amii90

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