Ek Hazaaron Mein Meri Behna Hain

   

The attack - OS (part 5-pg 15 18/2/13) (Page 3)

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sabeeha

Senior Member

sabeeha

Joined: 02 November 2011

Posts: 872

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
Pooja, I loved this so much.

It seems particularly poignant due to recent events, but wow.

It is practically in character for all of them. Jeevika would try her best to hide and cast a blanket over everything because she doesn't want her nearest and dearest to be more upset than they already want.

Also the fact that she was almost ashamed (if that's the right word) at what had happened. For this to happen to anyone, never mind a morally upright and conservative girl like Jeevika, it must have been the first thing that went through her mind as in - why me? What did I do? Did I bring this on myself?

Virat going over towards the meeting, not taking no for an answer and Viren's anger at not being able to protect that which is most precious to him. 

I really loved it, even to the smallest details with the Manvi and Jeevika interactions. A lot of subtlety but beautifully put together.

:)

(Ps: I've been meaning to post something on your SS - it's got to be one of the best thing's I've read here, but I've been pretty much absent as of late so haven't had the chance to, but just thought I'd let you know. Please do right more often!)

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-Pj-

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romanticgurl070

Goldie

romanticgurl070

Joined: 26 November 2010

Posts: 1578

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 3:10pm | IP Logged
nice one
but at actually happeed to jeevs n y is she ignoring viren n manvi

-Pj-

IF-Rockerz

-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006

Posts: 8342

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
@sabeeha

Hey girl, thank you so much for your comments I can't explain them.

Ashamed, it might not be the right word, but it is what is suited. She ashamed that it happened her. But for anyone they would wonder why it happened to them. What did they do that they deserve it? Everyone else wishes to help but that pain inside of her cannot be described.

I like adding in little things, but there not always fully developed. Don't worry about the SS, when you get time. Btw which SS, I've finished two now. I will surely let you know when I write stuff, I'm been a bit active as it was the holidays but we will see once school starts up again.



Edited by -Pj- - 04 January 2013 at 3:27pm

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sabeeha

-Pj-

IF-Rockerz

-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006

Posts: 8342

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by romanticgurl070

nice one
but at actually happeed to jeevs n y is she ignoring viren n manvi


Thanks for liking it.
She's hiding away as she trying to deal with what has happened.
We can't always articulate what we feel, it's easy to keep a distance.

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romanticgurl070

sabeeha

Senior Member

sabeeha

Joined: 02 November 2011

Posts: 872

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
----
It was How Thing's Change if memory serves correct. I hadn't realised you'd had another one! Will look for that :)

I hope your holidays were fun, I know I'll be dreading going back to school on Monday, and I'm guessing you would be too after two weeks off :L

And I couldn't agree more; in my opinion, possibly the worst thing that could happen to a person. No one can understand, or start to understand. Jeevika's reactions were portrayed beautifully, and you did justice to that.

Good luck with school and all Teacher-ji :)

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-Pj-

-Pj-

IF-Rockerz

-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006

Posts: 8342

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
Oh ok, I have How things changed and How life goes on. I personally don't like my SS How things but you might like the first one.

I think I should change my name to Teacherji. I know two weeks off, don't wanna go back but life must go on.

Thanks you for liking the SS and am glad it can't off well. I didn't want to made it to over the top as its something that is so hard to feel.

Edited by -Pj- - 04 January 2013 at 4:07pm

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sabeeha

-vish94-

IF-Rockerz

-vish94-

Joined: 06 August 2012

Posts: 6421

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 4:09pm | IP Logged
brilliant updateClap loved ur OS
all emotions were beautifully described

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-Pj-

-Pj-

IF-Rockerz

-Pj-

Joined: 20 February 2006

Posts: 8342

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 4:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kryan4ever

WOW , this is yet another truly amazing OS ,
All the emotions were portrayed perfectly and the story as a whole was just a treat to read !
Thank you for this ,
Please write more os's or ff's , you seem like a very good writter Smile


Thank you for your comments. I will try to write more but it just depends. I'm glad you liked this story and could relate to the emotions for them. As writing emotions can be difficult to express clearly.

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