Originally posted by Amii90
<font color="#6600FF">I didn't know you would be continuing this but glad that you did!!! Again its just brilliantly written piece of work and descriptive narration just made it even better! Those dialogues and those emotions in your words became so real as I read them!!! Well balanced as all the characters were depicted well given their roles and characteristics and Viren's anger/helplessness was something that was penned beautifully- I could almost see him enacting that scene BUT what works the best was again- portrayal of JEEVIKA!!!! Props!!!! Just like I mentioned in my first comment that the way you have written Jeevika's emotions and her inner turmoil is simply amazing as it required lot more sensitivity!!! Just the OS in itself, due to its senstive topic, can be very hard to write and present it on paper ensuring that its similar to what you had imagined it to be! But definitely, you have treated this OS in an amazing manner where it doesn't make the reader uncomfortable with all those details intact!!! More than I loved the you way you ended with a line " Finally the dust had settled"- narrates so much more than its face value and indicates a commencement of something beautiful in their relationship!!!! Amazing job, Pj :)</font>
I didn't know I would be updating this. But thought of a bit more so added it in. I have noticed I have a tendency to have quite a bit of description and less dialogue, as dialogue is to push the story forward when needed. (Put that hat away now, sorry) I'm glad you found a balance in the characters and their emotions. I know you have praised me for the way I wrote the story but I did have help with some of the ideas from a show I watched but just adapted it for these characters and how they would react. Yet I'm glad it was written in a way that doesn't make it uncomfortable. I wasn't trying to explicit about it and don't think I used the word rape till the last update. Not that it's something to be ashamed of at all, but it want the act that needed recognition but how they cope after that point. All of them but especially Jeevika.
I hate writing endings as you have to get that last line right. Something that fits the entire story. For some reason I wanted an idiom that fitted as so many meanings can be taken it from. It what is on the surface but also what has been secured underneath.
Once again thanks for your comment.
Edited by -Pj- - 28 January 2013 at 1:32pm