Joined: 01 August 2012
Hi Dear Li'l sis Deeps'Diii
Read ur Swaron FF: U & Me, Back To Us'
Before starting to comment on each chapter I'd like to congratulate U for Ur hard work and true efforts for presenting such a great piece of art through ur writing skills. GOD has given U the talent of words so plz do treasure the talent and keep utilizing it for entertaining us in all the means possible. The art of writing is granted by the Lord for a few people and U r the lucky one to be in that lot.
Awww...Diii...thanks for these kind words...m glad that u liked this FF...as I told u its really close to my heart..as its my very first FF...Today I write few updates for my readers ...this one I wrote just for myself...would like to thank god and my readers(my angels) for their encouragement...m sooo glad u liked this
Basically a writer transforms the reader from one world to the other world through his/her writing i.e., he/she forces the reader to visualize the scene through their writing skills. But I'd like to tell U that ur writing skills not only transforms our worlds but also makes us feel the surroundings of the scenes. It's like we readers r not just reading it but we feel like we r a part of that scene. Throughout my journey of reading I felt like I was the silent spectator of the characters of ur story. I could feel the pain of the characters. The pain flowed through my eyes in the form of tear drops. Even the happy moments could be cherished for a life time. I could definitely tell that this is one of the stories which I could never forget in my LIFE.
Dii..i dont know how to reply to these lines...my hard work paid off if u could relate to this story
I would like to thank U from the depth of my heart for considering me as ur buddy, as ur elder sister and letting me in ur world of SwaRon Dreamland. Thank U for making me a part of ur Dreamland.
Awww...Diii...m soo happy that u became a part of my Swaron Dreamland
Lots and lots of Love to my li'l angel DEEPIKA. I'll always love U for given me this great piece of art to cherish my whole life.
Lots and lots of love..kisses and hugs to my Diii
Sorry for taken ur precious time and boring U with my lecture. So no further delay and commenting on ur great work.
U can never ever bore me ...m dying to know ur feedback for my work
NOTE: All the comments will be given in accordance to the chapter.
The blue color is an extract from ur chapter which touched my heart to the core and red color is my view what I felt for it.
The nature part' it was a symbol of true love' just like Swayam and Sharon' they are like heaven and earth' so different from each other but MADE for each other' MAD for each other'
The description of nature was great in this chapter. These lines were awesome. These lines could completely define the TRUE LOVE. Though the main characters are different from each other but the longing in them to stay together was clearly described in these lines. This love is found very rear. Very few people can experience such a great depth in love. Only people who can forget oneself for that one pure soul could achieve such depth in love, where one doesn't have to speak but the other understands it through the eyes and feels through the heart.
I always felt love is something which can not be described through mortal beings...so I took heaven and earth as metaphor ..m glad u liked it Di
He was looking angry and tensed' Maria was always afraid of this side of her master's personality' he was a sweet, gentle and well behaved guy' he respected his servants' treated them well' but when it comes to Tanya' he was very protective'
In contrast to the first chapter which completely expressed the TRUE LOVE of two souls, the second chapter expressed the LOVE and CONCERN of a father for his daughter.
They entered the house' it was a small house with people having big hearts' how else she can justify their selfless affection and care towards her' It's been 3 years since she started staying with them' she has became an integral part of their family in all these years' baba, maa and panchi' Their small family'
While the first paragraph expressed the true love of a father, the second paragraph completely expressed the true love of humans for other humans who are not related to each other by blood but still share a great bond of love and affection for each other. They consider themselves to be related by souls. And sometimes it is true that soul relations are stronger than the blood relations. And here Pari though not related to the old man's family is still an integral part of his family. The family which leaves in a small house with people having big hearts.
Yeah..this chapter was more of establishing Swayam-Tanya relationship...also introducing Tanya's character for that matter..maria's character helped me in that Wanted to portray Tanya as a combination of SWARON..best of both in her
Then he opened the box ...it was a box full of fond memories ... her bracelet which she lost somewhere in canteen in the first year of their college...her broken anklet ...he got in the rehearsal hall... just after she finished her classical dance practice...her pink scarf ...her favorite one ...she left it in the rehearsal hall by mistake ...he included it to his prized possessions.. a dry rose ...from her ...to him... on their first confession day anniversary ...a bandage once he used to cure a cut on her hand ... a coke cane which touched her lips once ... Few chits she threw at him ..in the classroom ...just after they started dating 'as a secret couple ...a heart shaped badge she gave to him to wish him luck... Everything ...every single thing reminded him about her ...they were signifying her presence in his life ...she was still his LIFE...
In this chapter it is clear that true love is not only with the person but all his/her belongings also represents and reminds him the love for that person. Those memories could only be the way to survival after the great loss of true love.
This chapter is very close to my heart...wanted to show Swayam's unconditional..undying love for sharon...the box full of memories ..helped in that ...also the room full of pictures gave me opportunity to mention few of my fav moments from the show...
It was becoming a big question mark for her now...hope...HOPES TO FIND HER IDENTITY...
This line broke my heart literally as it reminded me of my pain. The pain which I'm going through since many days. The pain to find myself, the pain of proofing myself, the pain which cannot be expressed through words but can only be expressed through my tears. The tears are my true friends in my sorrow, they help me to relax myself, and they know the pain, the agony of my heart. Hence they are my true source of survival.
HOPE: How could anyone define it when it is unknown? Nobody knows whether the hope is going to be fulfilled or not. But still all keep saying to have HOPE. Sometimes this hope makes our lives and sometimes it breaks. But still we people don't stop losing hope. This is our way of survival.
U said it all...hope ..our only way of survival ...the wait for a ray of light in the end of a long dark tunnel
His deep dark brown orbs were fixed on her angelic face ...her beauty was beyond words to explain ...her glowing complexion was enhanced with the moonlight falling on her through the window ... Her face was glowing with the cool silver light on it ... his pure and perfect moon was giving tough competition to the one outside with many imperfections ...that moon was seriously jealous with this divine beauty in front of him...a small and heartfelt smile was painted on her pretty face giving his heart the reason to beat harder...and... Harder...
They were running across the room like maniacs ...finally Swayam stopped for a moment and turned around ...Sharon who was running behind him ...unable to control herself ...fell on him...she was lying on him... her head was on his chest ...his face was covered with her silky tangles ...their hearts were beating in unison ...Swayam tried to get up...but she was on him..
Dear Deep, U used this both paragraphs in ur OS: The Diary too.
But still it's the beauty of this chapter that U defined Sharon in such a graceful manner like she is a delicate thing which could destroy if not handled with care.
Yeah Diii...these are my favorite lines(written by me)...so i repeated it there...i always feel swayam takes her as the most fragile thing on earth...handle with care
She was standing near the window...mesmerized by the beauty of nature...the rising sun was symbolizing a new beginning in her life...a new dawn...a new hope...HOPE ...she thought ...is there even any hope left for me...that morning in the hilly area was indeed beautiful and divine ...it was welcoming hundreds of new possibilities in form of a new day...
As if... the long, cold and dark night was coming to an end... bright morning rays embraced her with a new hope ... HOPE TO BE ALIVE AGAIN...as if this morning was just like the end of a long n dark tunnel; at the end of which tunnel brightness was waiting for her...she didn't know why she was feeling so positive about this new day...this new beginning...as if the morning was telling her to hope again... to smile again...to live again...
These paragraphs brought a new life in me too. As I told U the last chapter reminded me of my pain, this chapter provided me the solace required. Daily the rising sun gives me a new hope, it brings a new smile, a new life in me.
Awww...m glad...actually all the chapter were serious/full of pain..wanted to make my readers happy ...so gave a flashback...this is one of my fav chapters
Strange but ...Tanya being in her arms... Gave her a feeling of completeness ...as if she completed her existence...her womanhood...AGAIN...THOSE EYES came in front of her vision...
A woman is said to complete her womanhood when she becomes a mother. This phase is the most important and the most beautiful phase of life. The memory cherished in that phase is like the greatest wealth treasured ever. Tanya's presence in Sharon's arms conveyed her that she found her lost treasure.
Mother and a child ..the most beautiful and heavenly relationship made by creator..it always fascinates me ..how women have got the power to give birth to a new life...thats why Mother is the replica of God.....m glad u liked Tanya-sharon 1st meet
He went numb'..his mind 'his heart '.all were drowned in a black endless sea'.he saw his SHARON there 'drowning in the black water '.she was screaming his name '.for help '.he was trying to reach her '..to hold her hand 'to save her '.but she drowned in the black water 'he saw that ' helplessly '.HIS LIFE '.HIS SHARON WENT FAR FROM HIM'
The feeling of losing ur love could not be expressed in any way better than this. I was literally in tears and couldn't continue my reading for some time.
I WILL GO AWAY'.
This line just took my life. It was as if someone is trying to cut my heart from my body. Sharon could have died if Swayam meant it seriously.
I wanted to make my reader cry with this one..i wanted to them to feel the PAIN..m content that this chapter touched u
NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO YOU SHARON '. MY HEART BEATS WITH YOURS 'MY HEART BEATS ARE THE PROOF OF THE FACT 'THAT YOU ARE ALIVE'.YOU ARE ALIVE SHARON'.. I WILL FIND YOU '.YOUR SWAYAM WILL FIND YOU SHARON'..
I CAN FEEL HER PRESENCE '.WHY DESTINY IS PLAYING SUCH GAMES WITH ME'.I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL MY HEART 'IF THIS FEELING WILL CONTINUE'.
The first para gave me the confidence that true love feels U and finds U not through ur fragrance or through ur actions but through ur heart beats. The true love makes two hearts beat in sync such that they become one. Sometimes this feeling gives U immense pleasure of having U together and sometimes it makes U restless for not finding U around.
Yeah...true love feels U and finds U not
through ur fragrance or through ur actions but through ur heart beats. The true
love makes two hearts beat in sync such that they become one.U said it all...its platonic love..love of souls..love after life..m a sucker for it
HAPPY CONFESSION DAY ANNIVERSARY...
These small gestures in life bring a new meaning to life. These moments with ur true love become ur oxygen to live the life with ur true love.
Love truly the oxygen to our lives
I CAN FEEL YOUR PRESENCE SHARON'.MY HEARTBEATS GIVE ME SIGNS WHEN YOU ARE AROUND'
IF SHARON IS HIS HEART'TANYA IS HIS HEART BEAT'.
He turned back'.he saw HER'his heart skipped a beat...then it started beating harder and harder'any moment it would jump out of his chest'out of joy'.tears rolled on his cheeks'.TEARS OF JOY'.HIS EYES'.WERE FILLED WITH TEARS OF JOY'.THEY WERE CONVEYING THOUSANDS OF EMOTIONS AT ONCE'FOR HER '.
EMOTIONS OF PURE LOVE, CARE, PROTECTION, AFFECTION'
These lines gave me immense pleasure. Pleasure of finding lost love back in the life.
Writing the re-union ..portraying this scene was really difficult for me...m glad that it touched u Dii
Before she could touch the ground'she felt a strong pair of arms'.holding her 'protectively'. SHE FELT SECURE IN THOSE ARMS'AS IF'SHE BELONGED THERE '
These feelings come only from true love. Security is assured from the ones who love U and to the ones who U love. This feeling is mutual in both the persons.
I love the feeling LOVE...it makes u a better person altogether ...u dont need eyes to see him/her...no need of words to convey feelings..souls talk to each other
That house was filled with heartbeats...One heart was searching for its identity...one heart searching for ways to find out its lost love...one heart which connected both of them to each other...one heart searching for a solution to tie all the loose ends...together...
Many a times I felt my heart torn into pieces. One piece was crying for Swayam, one for Sharon, one for Tanya. I couldn't understand for whom was I actually crying? Then later I realized that I'm not crying for any person, but I was crying for the true love, Craving for the true love. And when all of a sudden Ur love is in front of U the whole world seems to stop in front of U. Many a times I feel what this feeling could be like. Could it be the happiest moment or could it be the saddest moment? Never got answer to my question.
Well...thats the magic of love...loosing love...getting lost love..all these feelings are magical in their own way...if LOVE makes u smile..it can make u cry..it gives u widest grin on ur face..it can give u countless tears
A lone tear escaped from his eye'.he never thought a time will come when he would have to give the proof of his relationship with Sharon'the reason for his concern for HER'explanation for his care for HER'.
The world would have shattered for Swayam when Sharon couldn't recognize him, the person who was the source of his life, his love.
Two hearts were beating in unison'.their conversation was incomplete'.their hearts...Their eyes'.were conveying their feelings'.there were so many things to say...so many things to listen to...time stood still witnessing this moment...
This was the only feeling which could have hold Swayam from being shattered, the beating of their hearts in unison, eyes conveying their feelings to heart.
This was again a moment of truth for me as a writer(if i can call myself one) ...it challenged me to push my boundaries ...
He broke the silence' three years of silence 'it was high time to speak and convey the in-depth feelings of his heart'
I lost my life'my love'.three years back'.when I lost you'.I was breathing'.but there was no life in that living'.my heart was beating'.with the hope to beat with your heart again'.My eyes were only searching for one face '.in these three years'..finally'.I am standing in front of you'.it's like a dream'..if it's a dream I don't want to come out of it'.his eyes were flooded with tears'.tears of joy'tears of achievement'tears of guilt'.
I am your culprit Sharon'.I couldn't find you'.It took me three long years to find my Sharon'Trust me Sharon'.I tried'I tried'.trust me'tears rolled down his cheeks'.
This couldn't have been said in any ways better than this. All the feelings were clearly visible on Swayam's face in the form of tears. He was speechless, his true love was speaking for him.
As I told u Di..i wanted to make their first conversation in this FF grand/beautiful...i really tried hard to make it as good as possible...
Two hearts were conversing with each other'.one heart was determined to get back its love'.through love'.The other one'ready to surrender itself'to the heart were it belonged'.
Swayam was determined to get his love back. He was ready to wait for her until that moment when he could find himself in her eyes. Though Sharon couldn't remember anything she was ready to surrender herself to Swayam, not because she wanted to do so, but her heart wanted her to do so. She was in complete control of her heart. Her heart over took her mind at that very moment when she saw her true Love in front of her.
I wanted to portray HIM as a selfless lover ...didnt want to rush into things...m glad u liked it Di
Two hearts were ready to start a new journey together'..as he had promised her'hand in hand they were ready to walk back to their beautiful past'together...
At last they were ready to travel back to their past to collect all the sweet memories of their life. U always portrayed Swayam as a man of his words. That's a great quality any girl would like to have in her love. In this chapter I loved the description of the pictures and Sharon's longing to touch them and feel, that very moment made me desperate to help her remember all what she has missed.
Yeah...i love this quality of Swayam...and also he respects his beloved...never forced himself on her...at least not in this FF of mine...aap ne will love u forever padha he na
You could have loved someone else in these three years...married her ...have your family ...but you waited for me...without any hopes of me being alive...and ...today...when I am with you...I don't even remember the beautiful moments we have spent together...the moments of our love...I don't remember our love...I am feeling like...I am betraying you...your selfless unconditional love for me...It would have been better if I died in that accident...I would have die...
Though Sharon never meant those words she just wanted him to be happy. Her feeling of betrayal is again a sign of true love.
And Swayam reply to her but bloodyhell hota hi nehi brought a smile on my teared face for a while'
I loved this lines from the confession episode..Tannu looked unreal while voicing Swayam's love...
She was feeling complete ...with the LOVE of her life...by her side and the sign of their LOVE...who was hiding her face on her mother's chest...she closed her eyes with a strange feeling of completeness and pleasure... He was content to find both his angels...in his embrace...
This chapter gave me a lot of relieve as now the family is complete. Both their dreams were fulfilled. Swayam found his Love Sharon, and she found her lost identity for which she craved for 3 years. And a sweet li'l Tanya got her Mom and Dad with her forever in that very moment.
Well this could have been better Di...but I was not keeping well..and my readers were getting impatient for update...so posted it...
But still the journey is not yet complete as Sharon has to remember her love and complete the emptiness of the family which was longing for her for 3 long years..
And so the journey continues'.
I know...the journey continues
Hope I didn't bore U. 'Coz I was reluctant to give U my sincere views on ur most efficient piece of work.
I can't express my gratitude for this beautiful feedback ...it will be close to my heart FOREVER ...
Do respond to me via PM if any part of this comment hurt U or U felt that it should not have been mentioned.
Waiting for ur rply' (ab itna rulaya hai tumne to ek rply to banta hai boss)
Awww Dii...sorry ..if i made u cry ......will surely make u smile with futher updates..Promisee
Lots and lots of love' hugs'. Kisses' Muuuaahhh' and best wishes for ur future'...
May GOD bless U and fulfill all ur wishes' Amen'
Take care' Bye'
I wish i could express my gratitude ...for this gesture of urs...for typing ur thoughts about this work of mine...i know it took 3 hrs for u ...I am touched...i thrilled...overwhelmed ...Love u Dii...m glad I met U ...U R SPECIAL
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