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IPKKND SS:Sins * Thread 1* (Page 150)

A_Bit_Crazier.. Senior Member

Joined: 11 October 2012
Posts: 417

Posted: 09 February 2013 at 11:54am | IP Logged
welll, m speechless...!!!!!

i sincerely salute u, dear..
to take up a job to write on such a sensitive topic.. Cry 

to make it sooo heart wrenching, that i cried reading almost all d 12 parts...
n d new way of writing it as diary entries also was Amazing... Smile

m not finding appropriate words to describe this, dear.. Ouch
Khushi's pain..
Arnav's helplessness..
everything, touched me heart..
a strong Anjali, a protective best friend NK.. and entire family, being there 4 her..

Khushi being attacked, her silence, her questioning, her leaving India, her returning back... to him.. ofcourse she had to, coz there is no Arnav without Khushi.. 

"It's very simple, really. I am here, with you, because I love you. I always have, and I always will."
this made me smile.. Tongue
Has Khushi Kumari Gupta proposed to Arnav Singh Raizada before he could do so?
n i really laughed hard reading last part.. yes, indeed, KKG proposed ASR...!!!!! 

"Years ago, I was a hardheaded, arrogant, self-centered businessman, until a beautiful girl literally fell into my arms..
Through the past two years, I have learned to open my heart and let her love fill all the cracks within..
But then she opens her eyes, and I am suddenly looking into clear pools of hazel..
Stunned, I look up from these eyes into her mother's..
And then, I fall in love all over again.."

now that is called a 'the end'... Clap Clap Clap

P.S. - i loved d idea of more than one epilogue... 

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..SankiMedhz.. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 25 February 2012
Posts: 13687

Posted: 21 March 2013 at 4:16am | IP Logged
This is the first time I'm reading something written by you, Juhi. :)
And I would like to thank Vee (V323) for giving me the link to this one.

I liked the sensitivity and the mature way you have written this SS. I've only read four chapters so far..but will read the rest soon. Thank you for writing on such topics.

The scars inflicted by such encounters take time to fade away...and it requires a LOT of support from people around as well. This is a fitting tribute to the braveheart...who fought till the very end. And I salute all the women who have fought such evils and continue to do so. I hope no one has to EVER go through such situations in life.

This is seriously not an easy story to read. So I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to think and write all this out. Your words have the strength to move me...and make me feel the emotions that the characters are experiencing in the story.

The part which touched me was where Arnav finds out the weapon with which Khushi had been defending herself from Shyam - a broken part of her bangle. The guilt which Arnav experiences...I get it. But what would be more better would be if he helped Khushi come out of her pain, rather than concentrate on his he himself realizes later.

Society.You know the victim has gone through hell, and is still going through hell. Yet...the callous comments are thrown not caring if they're heard by people or not. It is this uncaring attitude of people (not everyone...but one bad person is more than enough) that affects the victim deeply..making her question herself when she shouldn't be doing any of that.

Juhi, you made me cry while reading this. The way you write just goes straight to my heart. And that food scene...was just BEAUTIFUL. And the part that followed...where Arnav started opening up to Khushi..letting her know that being Khushi isn't bad..I'm glad with the approach Arnav took there. :)

This man Arnav has caused so much pain...and yet Khushi asks him 'Why?'. Brilliant writing.

I'll be back with another comment as I finish more chapters. :)

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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 27 March 2013 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
I am not sure if I have read this before. Even if I have there is nothing like reading it all in one go, without the mystery clouding my comments/judgement. 

Also mostly because I miss IPK and I know you wrote it to get over here goes. 

SO completely different from how LLATW began. The turning point from ASR to Arnav came because of that conversation they had after finding shyam and nani discussing the plan. Whereas here the tone changes: 
"An act of evil was what it took to convince me of that."

All underlying sense of humour is already gone. Yet the sarcasm and wit remain. 

I like this concept a lot. This is the closest any of us are ever going to get to ASR/Arnav. That too following him in the most important phase..his transformation. I wonder how this Arnav is going to turn out, similar to the one we have seen. 

But more importantly, because the title is quite heavy and it being a diary
"I am Arnav Singh Raizada, and this is a journal of my sins."

I wonder how much of this transformation will be about justification of the acts (self-pity, cowardice are two things hard to associate with ASR) and how much about mending things? 

Before I forget, you have written this really well. I remember reading those monologue and inner thought wale lines in llatw and thinking ahhh genius. And this is a whole story of that. In facebook language LIKE. 


ps. I know I am comparing this a lot to LLATW, sorry..can't help thinking about it. But I will try not to do that. 

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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 28 March 2013 at 3:18am | IP Logged
Keeping that box of tissues handed, although only dobby needed one! and a little one for snape. 

I like how arnav started this one..
"I question my uncharacteristic urge to pen my thoughts"
It is usually not him to think calmly, no? And who doesn't want to explore this side of him..

So this arnav is going to fight..! YAY. And pretty much in 3 sentences you told us, all we need to know about ASR, by telling us about why he fought against her. This is his defence, of sorts. 

His description of her eyes. Juhi! again you take every minuscule detail and put it your stories. And throughout this chapter the eyes..his, hers and the devils. super effective.

This has to be my favourite part..
"Why am I only concerned with my feelings and my preferences?" 
No matter why we are writing a diary, we always tend to slip into the I want mode. ASR is no different. 

And there's our juhi dramatic as always.. 
"That eerie stillness that is never a good sign." 

You wrote the whole assault part with great sensibility towards everyone involved. 
I liked Arnav's commentary on Shyam: 
"Shyam Jha had lost it completely.He had gone off the deep end."
But Khushi, I like the fighter you have made her. I would have expected that of her.
"The stairs across the other side of the pool, how had I forgotten that?"
Now I realise why the bleep, Arnav needs a diary to think clearly! But I can't get too angry at that.
As one can never really know how they will act in a situation like that..unless they have been in it, you know. And so its all cool to say she and he could have done this, that. But you kept it realistic, just the right amount. 

That "Arnavji" and everything you wrote after that..I dont think I have it in me to comment. 

But I liked the fact that the family did come! Unlike the show where they turn a blind eye to most things. 

Blurry haze of events was great..and you inserting those tiny snippets of just how angry/guilty arnav is at himself.."hear the result of my own mistakes.."

NK one character we always poked fun at. I like the way you made him here. He really was a great friend to Khushi always. He is the hero of this story, I am assuming. And now I realise being Arnav in this what it truly means to be the anti-hero of a story. 

So NK and his news? And khushi waking up?! 


ps. Didn't think I could possibly write these long comments here..or rather comment on it at all. 

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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 29 March 2013 at 11:47pm | IP Logged
I like arnav the observer... 

So he begins with Anjali..and I like how he summarised it. I have always found it hard to sympathise with her in the grand scheme of things = the show. That was partly because it was all so irrational. I dont know how I feel now either..wonder if you will explore that here.. 

I don't know how much I agree to this: 
"but I am equally guilty of giving him that opportunity in the first place."
I know he was guilty of a lot of things, but he couldn't have predicted just how dangerous or psychotic shyam was, like khushi couldn't. 

I like that this chapter dwells into a lot of what ifs..first about asking khushi if shyam was telling the truth, then if gupta's had revealed the truth etc. And it is the easiest thing to fall into once the whole story is out, to dwell on possibilites. Really really good progression of the story. Like he says:
"I should be thinking about righting wrongs" "Not today."

But I also enjoy that you always make him stop the what ifs..
"But there is no point to all this wishful thinking."

NK the knight in shining armour? I thoroughly enjoy the role you have given him this one..I always thought he liked her, in more than "friends" way! I like that he has an intellect here..He is really saving the day, while the owner of the massive business empire falls down. I guess thats the difference between someone like NK and ASR. All the bravado behind ASR has always been based on something baseless, like there were too-many skeletons and he just ignored them. Whereas NK was a person is happy in his know? OK i just created a whole back story for your characters..based on the tv show and my judgementalness! 

So the psychotic snake escaped. But calleth he doth? 

I haven't really ever read much on this topic of abuse, so I am in no way going to argue about the procession of different stages of emotions going through a victim. I felt it natural for khushi to not talk..and the way you described it all was spot on. 

And in true juhi style you remind us of an IPK scene. And adding the bits about poolside..tainted. The description of the red bangle too..tainted. 

And this just makes me laugh: 
"I cannot believe that I, Arnav Singh Raizada, am sitting here talking about my heart."

I realised as much as this is about the story of khushi's recovery as a victim, it also the story of arnav and how he comes out of this (if not fully) too. He can't even step beyond guilt, self-pity/hate. 


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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 30 March 2013 at 5:03pm | IP Logged
"Saale Saab?"
Those two words make me cringe, just like rani sahiba..IPK has forever ruined that for me too Arnav..dont you worry! 

"Luckily, common sense took over."
Ah this chapter is going to see a bit of action from Arnav's end then..?

I really really liked Shyam's conversation with Arnav. It is so so freaking important..! The things he says so atypical of our society. The kind of advice I am sure family of victims always get.. 
"Putting me behind bars, or saving what's left of her dignity? "

But then again, it is a catch: 
"She will have to relive every moment"
who can't understand Arnav's frustration..the anger was the next step. Which obviously leads to the realisation..
"I haven't really done anything to alleviate it."
I like how you played that scene out. 

Nk. I like how you keep putting out the small hints about him n her. But I think I love it even more when he tells arnav about his anger issues. Oh God, I wish he was given this talk sometime over the course of the serial. I would have loved to see how he would take it! And then about Khushi..It makes me question if Arnav is capable of understanding her ever, or anyone else for that matter? He overcame this having headlights-turned-off-in-dark problem in LLATW, by overcoming his a way 

"I was a heartless, soul-less coward."
This is where relationships deter, dont they? each person is too engrossed into thinking how the other will feel, if only they faced each other. I know this is about sins, but some mistakes can happen by anyone. 
Same thing is applicable in Arnav-Anjali relationship..and the Anjali that has come out of it, I can sympathise with her. You wrote her part beautifully..the recovery, the goal. 

The part about A in the mehendi bringing all that in and finally Shyam's this is juhi style. 

AH Everytime Arnav goes towards making amends, something happens hai devi maiyya! 

"Makes sense, doesn't it? It's always the pretty ones who manage to make the married men stray.."
This is exactly what I abhor...victim being made the culprit!!! That too instead of questioning the psychoticism of the culprit (snakewa). 

She cut her hair didnt she? 


ps. so many quotes, ahh this chapter really was full on. 

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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 31 March 2013 at 12:57am | IP Logged
Eyes. You are good at describing know. Everything in the beginning is just so well written..and then this: 
"the jagged ends serving as a harsh reminder of her reaction to the vile words."

And yet another trigger..
"This is intolerable ."
will this really make him be able to do something consequential? 

This is something I was waiting for..
"make sure she understands that none of this is her fault."
The ornaments..
Then Shyam's name..and obviously she is back to the nightmare. 

I cannot believe that arnav went into another bout of anger..although you justified it. Again habits are hard to lose. 
"Will I never be able to do the right thing by her?"
It is hard on him too, realising he is human-and-has-a-heart in such grave circumstances..and to get himself to act like a rational being. He is as bewildered, and helpless..maybe some more NK coaching classes?

YAAAY ASR is back. The rich-as-sin-power-wielder is back. That is the only thing that will get the job and justice done. I loved that scene, phangirled and blowed a whistle. 

I I can be such a party-badlu?! 

And just randomly this reminds me of what he did to khushi..
"I want his photo splashed across the media."

Its a 'tendril of hope' for us too..except I dont understand what it stems out of anger or the mohabbat-door-jaane-na-de? But i guess its khushi's nature to be kind, its like a habit. I like that you always keep those basic traits:
"And she has done it for me.
Just like I have done it for her." 

The whole thing with the food..wouldn't have thought of that..par tum issmart ho! Also I like how you involved di in this. 

Then you brought out all those memories. The untainted ones. Juhiii sometimes I wonder why I comment, and say random stuff when everything is sooo perfect! 

BUT as usual interruptions galore! Hai devi maiyaa?! (I am going to turn into a bhakt by the time this story is over...) 

Wow I didn't expect her to find his journal so soon..but obviously this was needed to move the story ahead? I wonder what she is referring to..


ps. I try to keep my comments humour and weirdness free because this is meant to be serious..par forgive me for I fail. 

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LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 31 March 2013 at 1:58am | IP Logged
And so she talks..albiet monosyllabic-ally. 

Ok so you do this thing in your focusing on hands, or eyes or the tone of voice: 
"Khushi Kumari Gupta's voice has intrigued me"
I dont know how or why you think of doing that. But everytime I read a part like that..I am floored? Matlab hum bhi aap se I love you dammit. 

I guess..this again is my favourite line of the chapter: 
"In a small, selfish corner of my mind, I am surprised at the fact that she has picked this page over the many pages where I have confessed my innermost thoughts."

Ok i needed to keep calm and not predict..because like arnav, KKGSR always surprises me...not just the why, but what follows after..everything. This is not uncharacteristic, and yet this a complete different side to her. She is definitely more like the Khushi of LLATW then of the show. Only because you have well-mapped out her character unlike the CVs, and given her "Rationality"! 

Again i liked that you add tid bits like her-turning-away-him-not-liking-it-but-not-saying-anything. 

I agree..the whole story of soaps (IPK being no different) is based on this funda:
"Half-truths and secrets"
And also like I said last time, we think we are protecting someone by not telling them something. If anjali got the whole cake, Khushi has always been way stronger..she deserved it too. I have learnt to see her as the most perceptive too..

Also thank you for adding anjali again..she must be scarred for life from making decisions and judgements and will have trust issues?! 

Finally the angst, if you can call it that or whatever it is..comes out. The most important conversation. So she blames him. It is more than that though..not only does she feel untrusted, but also unloved..especially now. I didn't think of those things. Really really really liked this part and the cant help but justify things right? Silence =  
"Kabhi kabhi sapnon ki duniya mein rehna hi achcha hai."

Acha the interruptions were NK sent by the cupid to protect K. This lurve, now that makes me think would NK have reacted the same way had he seen not been in love but merely a good friend to her?  

I don't think arnav has it in him to do this:
"But does that mean I should lose all hope?"
for me he is a little selfish and with good reason? she is his salvation..he probably doesn't have any motivation to be arnav if she isn't around. For now the thin rope is supported by spoon theory, and I guess I will go with it. 

AND then in true juhi style you drop the bomb: 
"no legal marriage exists between you both"

And then BOMB 2: 
"A body has been found"


ps. I agree with the Author's note. The pace and progress of this story/characters is plausible as its always justified. 

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