If you have read my previous work, let me tell you at the outset that this is very different.I don't know how to describe this, except to say that it isn't lighthearted and fun.
As you read on, you will know what has inspired and influenced this story.
The updates will mostly be in first person, and in the form of diary entries.I will try my best to update regularly ,since my plan is to complete this within 2-3 weeks.
If you are a new reader, please send me a buddy request for PMs of updates.
And do let me know what you think, since this is my first attempt at writing something like this!
1st January , 2012.
I have never written anything in a diary before. Why would I? Until now, I have never felt the need to pour my innermost thoughts onto paper.
But the events of today have shaken me, and I cannot stop myself from creating a record of exactly what I have done. Will this help in taking away some of the pain? Will this help ease my turmoil?
I have no answers to those questions.
All I know is that I have to do something, anything, that helps me forget.
By writing this, I might be able to push my own inner conflict to the back of my mind, and concentrate on what needs to be done.I have to do something.
I have to make things right.Even as I write those words, I cannot believe my own arrogance .
Do I still believe that I have the power to turn back time and right every wrong?
How can I possibly believe that, when the occurrences of this day are the result of my own arrogance?
How can I believe that anything I do will erase the pain I have seen in those innocent eyes?
I remember that pain, since I have never seen anything like it before.
As I sat there, staring through the glass at her trembling form , for one tiny moment I questioned myself if I could possibly be wrong about her.
Was there a possibility that she had not betrayed me?
Was there a possibility that she had not seduced a married man, and ruined another woman's life?
But even as I thought this, I forced these thoughts away, because I am never wrong.
I convinced myself that I had done the right thing tonight by throwing her out of my room and forcing her to sleep by the poolside, still dressed in that mockery of a bridal dress.
And my conviction lasted for hours.
Until I saw that horrendous sight.
A nightmarish scenario I can never forget.
An assault on innocence, purity and virtue.
Yes, I now believe in that innocence.
An act of evil was what it took to convince me of that.
This is why I am writing this, because the things I have done cannot be hidden inside, not without destroying what's left of my soul.
As I write, I realize that someday, someone might read this, and wonder about the identity of the man who was the cause of these horrors.
Which is why I am writing my last line for today.
I am Arnav Singh Raizada, and this is a journal of my sins.
Chapter 1: Page 8 :
Chapter 2: Page 17:
Chapter 3: Page 24
Chapter 4: Page 32
Chapter 5: Page 42
Chapter 6:Page 51
Chapter 7:Page 61
Chapter 8:Page 75
Chapter 11 :Page 117;