Posted: 30 December 2012 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dexterkilaila
Originally posted by BaleHead
I grew up in India and can safely say that both men and women who court woo and marry people from other races are looked down upon. I agree that Sana is getting insults hurled at her because her behavior is perceived as "too forward" by members on this forum. I agree with you there.
My problem is with extending this specific term, which in my opinion doesn't quite apply to Indian society. It seems that I disagree with you because of my experiences.
I often find myself cringing when I hear first-world feminists talk about third-world problems like they're the same societies.
As for your point, I need to sit and ponder on it for a while. Check out what others have written/said about it.
But all that, after I catch the latest episode of BB
I am a "first world feminist" sure. But my mom, her mom, my cousins all grew up in the subcontinent for many years. Through their experiences and anecdotes as well as through countless other women who go through this discrimination, I can assure you I don't just speak as a first world feminist. Women are looked down upon for their clothes, their hair, for their behavior around elders and men if it remotely happens to ape the West. Men aren't dealt with the same way. This is a sad fact. Trust me, I really wish I could be wrong here. But the pathetic part is I'm not.
Perhaps, I grew up in a different part of the country... anyway these are issues (east-west feminism) that I've been thinking about for a long time. Since I'm an academic, I'm slightly wary of throwing terms around without specifying their meanings. But as far as regular conversations go, I agree that what is being done to Sana closely resembles s**t-shaming.
I say resemble because s**t-shaming basically means a woman is insulted for not acting in accordance to the sexual mores of her gender in a specific society -- that holds true here.
But the precondition to the existence of s**t-shaming in a society is that sexual attitudes/expectations for the genders should differ -- this is where we disagree. I feel in India, both men and women are expected to be prudish about sex. Your experiences have been different. But I wanted to shed some light on my position!
Also, I wanted to stress that I'm glad you made this thread. Lately south asians have been more introspective about gender differences and women's position in our society...hopefully IF members will see how even seemingly benign conversations can perpetuate hate and inequality.