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Do you think rape is a cultural problem? (Page 2)

-Believe- IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 25723

Posted: 31 December 2012 at 6:26am | IP Logged

A double standard culture and a phony morality...male chauvinistic country has lived in many kinds of slaveries, slaveries within slaveries...sometime I feel freedom will remain just superficial...India clings to its past,we all knows that 100s of years in India the woman has to throw herself into the fire(sati),,Why has no man ever burnt himself with his wife?!!?!?! ...There is a double standard abt everything...India has lived with a repressive morality,woman considered as property cannt have freedom,Who asks ones own property? If you want to dispose of your furniture you dispose of it.. If you want to burn it, you burn it... If you want to sell it, you sell it...

Another point is woman constitutes fifty percent of the population, but she is more important than just fifty percent bcos all/99% the children will be raised by the woman... If she is a slave she will create the slave mentality, unconsciously, in her children's minds... The girls and the boys ...everybody is raised by the woman.. they will be conditioned as slaves...woman can only give them what she has. So it is not that only fifty percent will remain in slavery..It will be a rare individual in India who is truly free!!!!?!!!!...public needs courage to create a revolution in the minds of women and men...otherwise keep the 'holy cowdung' Morality!! Confused

Edited by Prometeus - 31 December 2012 at 6:25am

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Loving2011 Newbie

Joined: 05 November 2012
Posts: 42

Posted: 31 December 2012 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Skepblun

People just talk but go back home and bear all discriminatory treatment. 99.9% females in India don't lead lives of their own and simply follow family or social diktat!
It's not just in India, but we Indian women in America also know what it feels like to have no voice and no rights. I have typed my own personal story several times as a reply, but the computer keeps erasing. Perhaps it's not a good idea to pour out my scars to strangers.
I will tell you that my life story can make me seem more oppressed than some of the modern girls in Mumbai.  I can tell you that some of the most cruel sexual predators I've met are Indian ABCD boys from rich and educated families. I can tell you that I didn't even know what healthy consensual sex was until 5 years ago or so. I can you that I was brainwashed for years to think that I didn't have the right to say no. I can you tell you that I was raised that good Indian girls do as they're told, no matter what.
It was non-Indians that told me that what I was enduring wasn't normal, and that I needed to kick these bad and controlling people out of my life.  Last night, I confessed to a good male friend about my life. He said "Don't feel embarrassed and don't blame yourself. No real man would ever force you to have sex, manipulate you or tear down your self-esteem. Most men want a woman to feel good." 
I almost cried, because not even my own parents taught me this basic and simple fact.  If I had known at an early age that I was in control of my own body and that I didn't have to put up with bad behavior, I would have told my one forceful Indian ex-boyfriend to back off.
 I'm not surprised at that female doctor making insensitive comments.  I know some women can also defend male abusers.

Edited by Loving2011 - 31 December 2012 at 10:17am

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angelic_devil IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 01 January 2013 at 1:25pm | IP Logged

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McNinja IF-Rockerz

Joined: 30 August 2012
Posts: 9180

Posted: 04 January 2013 at 1:28am | IP Logged
In a culture where women are treated as second class citizens, then yes it is a cultural problems. Women are treated like a prize that men are entitled to. If a woman says no to a guy making a pass at her, he seems to think its reason enough to attack her. Why arent women given more respect in our culture? That's what it comes down to. 
Rehanism IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 August 2010
Posts: 3492

Posted: 06 January 2013 at 5:28am | IP Logged

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Posted on January 6, 2013

Some fresh examples showing how sexual assaults are seen by those who we expect to work towards controlling them.

Rapists are raised, encouraged, supported, justified and excused by mindsets like these.

1. Vibha Rao, chairperson of Chhattisgarh State Women Commission.

"Women display their bodies and indulge in various obscene activities. Women are unaware of the kind of message [their actions] generate,"… she believes excessive "display of body" by women influenced by western culture is the key. Ms. Rao, an advocate by profession and a prominent BJP leader in the State…

Regarding alleged rape of the tribal women by erstwhile vigilante gang members in south Chhattisgarh,

Ms. Rao said she cannot comment on 'sub judice' matters. [Link: 'Women equally responsible for crimes against them']

I agree with this comment below the news report, by Anita Badami:

After reading Ms Vibha Rao's ridiculous comments, it is not at all hard to understand why so many Indian males behave as atrociously as they do with women. Obviously they were brought up by women (like Ms Rao) who
inculcate ignorant and deeply misogynistic attitudes in their sons.

2. Education Minister T. Thiagarajan and college Principals in Puducherry

Separate buses for schoolboys and schoolgirls, overcoats for girls, ban on mobile phones on campuses and restricted interaction of girls and boys…

— these are the steps the Puducherry government has decided on to enforce to prevent harassment of girl students.

The measures came after a meeting between Education Minister T. Thiagarajan…

By reducing contact between boys and girls, it was possible to prevent basic misbehaviour and it would also reduce "temptation," said an Education Department official.

Instead of 'dupatta,' a student should wear an overcoat. Squads would be formed [IHM: Not to check sexual harassment but] to check use of mobile phones by students, Secretary of Education G. Ragesh Chandra told The Hindu. These guidelines were for both private and government schools and a similar meeting with college principals would be held next week, he said.

Principals' suggestions

During the meeting, the principals emphasised need for greater interaction [IHM: Not between students so male students see women students as humans, but] of parents and teachers, advanced intimation to parents if special classes were conducted and maintenance of a record of the mobile phones of parents and guardians so that they could be informed if their wards were not present.

The move for separate buses came after several principals voiced concern that "when boys and girls travel together, they often did not get off the bus even when their stop arrived," Mr. Chandra said.

"Many principals also observed that boys and girls sat inside the bus even before classes were over for the day, as the buses are parked on school premises. By having separate buses, these activities could be prevented."

The measures drew flak from academicians and activists. [Link:Puducherry prescription: separate buses, overcoats for girls]

Are they trying to prevent social interactions that could lead to 'love marriages' or consensual sex between young adults or are they trying to prevent sexual assaults against women, babies and girls?

Do they even know the difference?

Many Indians (including the Khaps) seem to see any sex outside marriage as Rape; and sex, forced or not within marriage, as 'consensual sex'.   The fact that Marital Rape is not seen as a crime encourages this thinking.  If Marital Rape was seen as a crime (that it is) – it would be difficult to excuse women's clothing and lifestyles for rapes.

Many Indians see rapes not as a violent crime, but as loss of honor, 'purity' and virginity of the victim. Making Marital Rapes a legal offence is the fastest way to make Indian women and men understand that Rape means forced sex, not lost virginity or honor. It would also become clearer that women actually own their bodies and men actually can (and a majority does, only a percentage of men are rapist despite the licences and impunity that Patriarchy gives to men) 'control their urges'.

3. RSS Chief, Mohan Bhagwad

A husband and a wife are bound by a contract which says – you (woman) look after the household chores and satisfy me, I (man) will take care of your needs and will protect you. (RSS Chief, Mohan Bhagwad)

Five questions worth asking here: 1.) So there would be no rapes, if women were not working earning? 2.) Non working married women do not get raped or husbands are to be blamed if they are raped? (This alleged rapist would like this)  3.) Marital Rape is not rape? 4.) Women are not sexual beings and sex is about women satisfying men and not a mutual experience?

Making Marital Rape a legal offence will address some of the above Rape Myths. 

But is there any hope for that with mindsets like below? 

Mumbai Police Commissioner Satyapal Singh says there is a direct link between school and college education and murders and suicides, and students who study in English-medium institutions are especially vulnerable. [English education triggers suicides, murders, says Mumbai top cop Satyapal Singh]

Some of the above might like to discuss their conclusions with Haryana Khaps.

 Jitender Chhataar, "Poverty and intoxication are the main reasons for rape as well as young people sitting together the wrong way. But also eating chowmein causes a hormonal imbalance which is a big reason for rapes." [The rape of reason]

Each of the above would find Marital Rape difficult to understand. They are unlikely to ask: "What purpose does protecting any rapist, married to the rape victim or not, serve?" But if the law recognises the crime, eventually the society would do too.

Do you agree?

Loving2011 Newbie

Joined: 05 November 2012
Posts: 42

Posted: 06 January 2013 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
I agree that women are half of the problem.  I think some of these women  are victims of abuse that have decided to glorify predators to cope.  

Ever since the beginning of time, society has been scared and threatened by female sexuality. It's not a bad or evil thing, guys.  I think we younger generation of Indian women can now take a stand and make a change hopefully.  Don't feel like a "good Indian girl" must do as they're told. There's nothing wrong with owning your body, saying no and being in charge of your life.  I think people wrongfully assume that a woman will go wild if she can make her own decisions. That's not the case at all.

Edited by Loving2011 - 06 January 2013 at 5:28pm

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-bharti- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 20 September 2010
Posts: 6279

Posted: 10 January 2013 at 1:30am | IP Logged

Dont understand why it is considered bad to demonstrate with candles peacefully.  When we have to express our outrage and draw the law makers to take notice,  How does a civilised population express itself in a democracy.  Should we go on a rampage and destroy public property or maybe become violent like those rapists.  Im sure the people who make fun of such protests want status quo. 

-bharti- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 20 September 2010
Posts: 6279

Posted: 10 January 2013 at 1:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Skepblun

The point is that we talk of empowerment but in reality we all have regressive mindset. Women are made to believe they are inferior and need to stay in "limits". Whereas men have an air of superiority about them. Females are just seen as fools or sex objects. They are easily dismissed as dumb or males start posting lewd comments for them even online.

People just talk but go back home and bear all discriminatory treatment. 99.9% females in India don't lead lives of their own and simply follow family or social diktat!

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