Posted: 11 February 2013 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by 0-SD-0
Originally posted by apolloartemis
I think I can see your point. And you are right, unlike us, people in general like the turbulence of emotions
I still don't see the appeal of the "bad" boy though...
Just another example of double standards, I think,, that we have to live with.
You have to be clearer than that my dear Because I did not understand whether
- You would dislike it more to see a woman as a bad person ?
- or you would dislike it in general to see anyone as bad ?
I will tell you the ugly fact from life...the very recent one that happened on Sep 1st last year to my family.
My brother's marriage already in doldrums...we are expecting Sec498A slapping anyday...and it happens...we get the bail as told by our lawyer ...it happens to be Friday evening...then we have a saturday...that woman's party lands up at our gates...and all hungama of abusing starts...police called for...constable there ...shouting and yelling doesn't stop...my father like a hero against the advise of my mother opens the locked gate ...shouting ...I need this drama to end and the police is also standing there...what can they do in presence of Police...saying that he tries to walk outside from amidst them...that woman, her father, her mother and two other people catch hold of the old man (my father...senior citizen) and start slapping wherever they can lay hands on him. The woman...supposedly filed a case of Harassment by her in-laws under sec 498A and here now she is the one who is beating an old man...scratching his throat with her nails and if that was not enough...she took her footwear out.
When I was hearing this on phone...what happened to me...Just heart was pounding because all of this was expected...what happened to my sister who saw this...for a month she could not sleep...what happened to my mother...she and me are same...something dies in us and yet we keep going...my brother...he was abroad at that time...don't know what happened to him...
What did the Police constable do when all this was happening...he stood there dumb...when my mother yelled at him from inside closed doors...he started calling his superior and tried to stop the assailants.
I think I cannot tell you more...because I am unable to write...but thing is ...it became a crusade for us to have the FIR done with local Police and also drag the Police into it...which we did...but the corrupt Police tried to bail themselves out and we had to resignedly have a delayed 24 hour FIR done. Now we have a criminal case against that woman and her parents and all...
Still people say...the Courts favour the Woman.
Now tell me ...how it should hurt our family...and tell me how our old man must be cursing us for this kind of children he has ...who just brought ignominy to him at this old age...
but again whose mistake it was...
I just don't have any answers. No answers Sanaa...why people con others...I just don't have any answer.
Why I am shamelessly watching Madhubala...because I don't want to think about all this that don't have any answers...my heart beat just goes up.
Why do I shamelessly write all this on public forum. But then why should I not ? I am no coward, my father is no coward, we did not do anyone any injustice, we were right and that truth will protect us against falsity...So yes, its idiotic to see just woman being subjected to insult and torture...even men are...just no one shows us that. At least olden days films has Lalita Pawars who were shown to bully people...strangely these days...no Lalita Pawars exists on TV or Films...where as it is still true...
The Inspector asked the Constable on site why he did not stop it from happening...you know what was the answer..."Sir, She is a woman, How can I lay my hands on her ?"
When we complained to the Station Inspector and the Circle Inspector that your constable did not do anything and was standing there and he is the primary witness to all this drama...they avoided my parents eyes...and just rewrote the entire FIR and had my father forcibly sign it...in a take it or leave it manner...they dropped their constable presence out of it.
Thing is cheating is cheating. There is no way a cheating can be reversed. What makes you feel better is to be standing erect with fortitude even as you are cheated. It feels better to be able to walk between the same society who witnessed your public ignominy.
Shri, First off,
Thank you for sharing this with me. I too know how hard it is to be conned and be unable to do anything about it- I have a cousin who's wife was similar, and he finds it very hard to trust women who are not relations these days...we were not as close to it as you are, but if we felt such a jatka, I can't imagine what you felt.
I'm sorry this happened to you- bad things seem to always happen to good people who do not deserve them. I don't why people con other people- I don't know how they can deliberately hurt another human being and revel in it, take pride in it. Like you, I don't know.
But we can control how we act and think. As you said, we as people should not react with anything except truth and sensitivity. What else can we do? The other option is to become bitter and lose faith, and that hurts us more than the people who caused us those problems in the first place. I admire you for having the courage to move forward from all that has happened, to pick yourself up and still believe the way you do. I hope the court system goes in your favor. But please know you always have us, and me especially, as a support system, as a ear to listen to.
As to what I was trying to say, you made me think hard again:
I have a problem with double standards- men are portrayed as bad, and in western cultures, and I guess in some way in Indian culture (looking at ASR and RK) it is seen as enticing. But if women are portrayed the same way, like in your example, they would never be redeemed- they are considered worse than trash. I don't like people being portrayed badly in general, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but I like the double standards even less. It also is bad for the men, like you said in your post, because media does not show how men are victimized, because it would be considered unmanly. They hurt both men and women with their portrayal.