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Sharon Woods - SwaRon OS

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Snowey

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Snowey

Joined: 15 March 2012

Posts: 9620

Posted: 21 December 2012 at 2:13pm | IP Logged

Was telling a friend about a park "Sharon woods" near my house and she suggested it sounded like OS title to her, which instantly made me write this Embarrassed

Not sure if i can say this to be a Christmas gift - But i hope you all like it. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy holidays Smile


This, the tale of woods and the carnivorous forest, which screamed and were the witness to how you never actually get over someone you dearly love but only learn to pass your life through the memories of them. Her deep pensive thought that she woke up with reminded what special day it was today. The sunrays energized her as she woke up to the picturesque view of "Sharon Woods" her namesake, the trail park just behind their house. The woods had pictures of beautiful memories they shared. They'd spent hours with their feet's in the water stream, which flows through the good stretch of the woods.

The woods witnessed, fascinating mix of quirk and nuance, which spoke to who Swayam and Sharon together were. She passed a smile in return to his smiling face and made her way to get her morning coffee. She poured her coffee and made herself comfortable in the deck outside enjoying the sound of chirping birds and soothing water stream. She raised her cup to the clear blue sky and smiled as another year had passed by. It was his keen eyes that explored this vintage house next to the park and they had made many beautiful memories here, it was the first house they entered as a married couple and had plans for many new beginnings.

She wanted today to be perfect, it was his birthday, the one day she kept away from work and her dance studio. The chirping birds soon gave the stage to the crickets as the sky transformed to a canvas full of stars It was time and she soon arranged the place to mere perfection and waited for him, she closed her eyes waiting to find meaning of life through his heartbeats. She stood still as the wind chimes tuned to the wind and she felt his presence and embrace around her all over again.       

She played Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's music one of his, favorite. The music played as she tapped her feet along. She took control of her body and lost her senses to the music as she moved rhythmically and repetitively. She was all set to capture his heart and enshrine their togetherness. The dark clouds were covering the moon but her graceful moves and bold expressions soon invited some rain as the dark clouds shredded giving the moon the perfect view to its world. Listening to the music, dancing and giving in, bought along the feeling of a free spirited feel of a bird flying high, which was her way of sealing in the distance the time had created. She seldom thought of transforming in to a bird and reaching the world on the other side of sky.

The dance from graceful moves was transforming to aggressiveness just as she thought of the flash of light, which took her to a life full of darkness similar to the lightning that struck, brightening Sharon woods, just momentarily. Soon guilt took over as she held her responsible for the crash. The momentarily lapse of judgement which ruined her life. The horrible guilt stayed every single day since the time she woke up to the time she went to sleep. 

Have you ever, tried stopping your tears? Have you ever had to hold back your tears from pouring down? The pain, the cries from her heart soon hit, her head as she felt the pinch, she pressed her lips really hard to gather courage to keep up to his promise.

She was mourning his loss but giving him the happiness and promise of never stopping to dance. The way she breathed, moved, expressed her pure love for him and what she felt in his absence. She moved her left hand to her hips and while tapping the floor with her right foot she raised her right hand gesturing questions and summoning him to join. Her longing eyes surveyed the room and yearned just for him she wanted to hear her heart, which belonged to him.

She unconsciously setting the rhythm was loosing herself physically, mentally and emotionally. The dance now depicted her pain, the fear she lived with. She made a dramatic gesture as she came to a halt just for a second before she continued circling the room to its full span. Under the enormous twinge she felt, she failed the promise as tears gushed down and poured. Soon the streams of pain drifted to one sad memory after other. Her hands were still moving on to each side while her knees now slightly bent as her foot started taping the earth below with the rage and pain her heart felt. She increased the tempo until she felt the sky above settling below her feet. 

She felt his warm hands against her wet cheeks as a smile adored her lips she felt light as she felt his embrace around her in her perfect world, he carried her to the bed soother her with the light breeze and the soft warm comforter. Her eyes slowly took her to their perfect world as the moon witnessed her sleeping peacefully and took pleasure to see her relax and faded under the dark clouds over the Sharon Woods.

They say humans are fickle, they are lost in time like a speck of dust easy to be erased on the other hand the memories and emotions is what stays.

I hope you all liked it and if it made you a teeny weeny sad , i am sorry but i would take that as a complement Embarrassed This is the first time i wrote a complete SAD OS , waiting for your comments to know how i fared. 

Not exactly the kind of work one would want to read during the festive season, in that case hold your breath for a complete happywala OS real soon :D

Sudha

 

 



Edited by Sudha-SK - 22 December 2012 at 6:45am

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stuti1995shreya24.sharmaswaron5000nimrahbarbieshikha31swaron_ssAdiehardD3fanlifezfunDeepaRaoVirMansharmiriyastarryLove_skgargicoolccubedtabKoolKatzTrouble_Magnetpreitygal99tejukorAnikz003mohitmohanty19coolsameeramrashTrupti09paro1311LoveShantannuMahirah_Deepika_-FrozenRain-lyfisbeautiful...CryBaby...enrique305d3fan4evaArdour.MimiVruShanSatluvsd3megsyswa-ronShantanuSoulmuzzy_skkespariAnomic_loner--MiNi--flirteyedjas112--Tanzz--Anonymous--MirageSwaronsweetangelpayal-monica-RutusakshibshahTanuka_TanHaHR-DMG4lifemanasie23BeulaSwaRon.Comics_Music.kritzzz_ArShaHPHolic-3ShrutikaSwaRonsadafarshaMihi4VruShanCrazy4AshVik--Destiny--..euphoria..DanCing_DiVa_SKswaron9113blue_anshaani2209ABBY92Suku_SwaRonepiphany.marauder-dark.horse-nature2Trouble.aishu3003

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marauder

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marauder

Joined: 08 January 2011

Posts: 12000

Posted: 21 December 2012 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
// E D I T E D //

I read it last night only Sudha still I don't know how to compliment this work of yours Sudha. As you said this will left us bit sad , yeah the sense of melancholy could be easily felt but this work was much more than that. It was a short one but still the depthh of romance it expressed in few words is something hard to describe. Fabulously done. Each part was written with utmost care and perfection. And what to say about the dance part. It was beyond this world. Just majestic and the emotions which it invokes is hard to put words to. It is something just to be felt. Just loved it.


Edited by marauder - 22 December 2012 at 9:18am

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paro1311Snowey

preitygal99

Senior Member

preitygal99

Joined: 16 April 2010

Posts: 547

Posted: 21 December 2012 at 11:30pm | IP Logged
Awesome OS sudha...today this OS made me remember the story of my Aunt

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Snowey

lyfisbeautiful

Goldie

lyfisbeautiful

Joined: 01 January 2012

Posts: 1650

Posted: 21 December 2012 at 11:47pm | IP Logged
Res!
you'l have to wait till 27th cos that's the day i return.. but i can tell you this much.. after a long time i think i got the reader's due, if u know wat i mean.. something which until now i only got in nidhi's work.. so m gonna comment long when m back.. :) 

unres

Well surprise surprise!!Big smile i am still holiday-ing... cold and half dead from all the partying.. :P but there's still some time before i doze off so what better than ending christmas by commenting on a piece i liked..Approve
Warning: m undercovers and using my father's laptop and i am not going to move an inch at the expense of comfort so ignore typos if any!Stern Smile

This os here sudha is an impeccable piece of writing.The title itself is so appealing to the eyes that one has to read it then n there without further ado. And the opening lines raised my expectation a notch higher as it set the stage for unveiling why and how the forest had come to find meaning in sharon's life. It is the tinge of melancholy and the various descriptions of the forest that brings this OS alive. 
U described the forest in tune with sharon's actions and they blended to create the perfect setting. For instance,

The dark clouds were covering the moon but her graceful moves and bold expressions soon invited some rain as the dark clouds shredded giving the moon the perfect view to its world. Listening to the music, dancing and giving in, bought along the feeling of a free spirited feel of a bird flying high, which was her way of sealing in the distance the time had created. She seldom thought of transforming in to a bird and reaching the world on the other side of sky.

are lines brilliantly penned down.
 And then came the highlight of the piece. The description of her dance, along with the myriad of emotions that play in her mind. The sense of loss, the guilt, the yearning, the rage and above all the compassion that she felt found beautiful manifestations in her dance and ur words expressed it all perfectly. It was undoubtedly the best part of the os. Even though the os is random in its approach i felt the climactic feel, as in the feeling that the narrative will culminate into something amazing. And the climax did not disappoint. 
Her eyes slowly took her to their perfect world as the moon witnessed her sleeping peacefully and took pleasure to see her relax and faded under the dark clouds over the Sharon Woods.

To be honest i think we never needed the next concluding line. It is this line that leaves the narrative at a high point and i would have loved it if u had left it at this.
All in all a wonderful read, a heavy read, something that stays on with you.
 I'l repeat what i have told u many times before. U deal with such complex themes with amazing clarity in ur words. I cannot stress enough on this quality of ur writing. It makes even the most complicated setting seem simple. U have grown enormously as a writer and that shows in the overwhelming feedback your works fetch you. Keep it up!

Love
Shalini

p.s. i remember u shared a pic of the direction board to the park near ur place, the board bearing the name 'sharon woods'.. later at some point u may add the pic to this thread. Or ask kanks to make a banner out of it. This os deserves a banner! :)


Edited by lyfisbeautiful - 25 December 2012 at 12:00pm

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Snowey

Anonymous--

IF-Dazzler

Anonymous--

Joined: 27 June 2012

Posts: 3462

Posted: 21 December 2012 at 11:58pm | IP Logged
Lovely OS di. It was really sad though. CryBut you described everything so well. Everything was just perfect. You write so well, no flaws at all. I could actually imagine Sharon dancing the way you were describing  her. Hats off di. Keep writing.Smile

Love,
Neeti.



Edited by Neeti96 - 23 December 2012 at 12:37am

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Snowey

Mihi4VruShan

IF-Rockerz

Mihi4VruShan

Joined: 06 September 2012

Posts: 8983

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 12:06am | IP Logged
I really don't know what to comment. This was one sad OS which was beautifully written.
When the OS began, you wrote about his birthday and I had no idea about such a sad turn..I was expecting that she would do something special for him and
She passed a smile in return to his smiling face and made her way to get her morning coffee.
Sorry but I did not expect a sad ending especially after this line.
 Still, her sadness, her pain, her turmoil, everything was depicted beautifully. You described SwaRon as a mixture of quirk and nuance, the fact that Sharon lives on his memories, and is deriving strength from them makes the OS all the more special. The dance, it was a dream. You penned it really well. Nice concluding lines too.
 It was sad, no doubt, but I am looking forward to the happy wala OS from your side.
Wonderfully doneSmile

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Edited by tanha29 - 23 December 2012 at 4:41am

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Snowey

Ardour.

Goldie

Ardour.

Joined: 17 November 2011

Posts: 1728

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 12:09am | IP Logged
EDITED
Magnificently written Sudha. Although a sad one, it's lyrically beautiful. Sharon's apprehension, her emotional turmoil was amazingly described. I loved how you depicted SwaRon as a mix of quirk and nuance. The dancing part was nicely done. The very fact that Sharon derives strength from his memories makes this OS all the more special. The closing lines are so profoundly realistic. I know you won't believe it but I read the story thrice, such is the beauty of your write-ups.
Looking forward to the happy wala OS :D

Edited by nikita_arsha - 22 December 2012 at 2:14am

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Snowey

LoveShantannu

Senior Member

LoveShantannu

Joined: 08 June 2012

Posts: 643

Posted: 22 December 2012 at 12:46am | IP Logged
Sudha do awesome work. The way you described each and each and emotion of Sharon just with the help of a few words was commendable. Bow to you. Though melancholy could be sense in this on-shot but more than that it was a complete blend of emotions and romance. But the dance part was written with utmost perfection that it took away all the sadness. It was indeed enchanting. Just loved it.

Edited by LoveShantannu - 24 December 2012 at 3:03am

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Snowey

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